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    Loves Balance

    79

    Could he have bought it in advance, planning to give it to him if needed? Since he wanted to drive a wedge between Shin-woo and him, maybe he wanted to contradict Shin-woo’s words by directly providing suppressants. Or maybe…

    Perhaps he was curious whether the only surviving test subject was a flawless Alpha or a failure. Ma Jae-seung played with the medicine box with a bitter smile on his face. Kim Ye-wook was also deeply interested in trait transformation research and belonged to those who firmly believed in Alpha superiority. The reason he constantly hovered around checking his condition might turn out to be the simplest one of all.

    Kim Ye-wook handed over the medicine and went to get some more ice. Whether he wasn’t concerned about Ma Jae-seung’s reaction or just pretending not to be, Ma Jae-seung was certain he was testing him. But if this medicine was new and the manufacturing date sticker had been deliberately removed, it must be currently in circulation, so there was no need to doubt its ingredients. Ma Jae-seung searched the medicine name online to compare the capsule’s color and shape.

    It matched the suppressants on the market.

    After confirming this, his suppressed curiosity surfaced. Would suppressants work on me? Am I really no different from natural Alphas?

    Did Shin-woo tell me the truth?

    Ma Jae-seung unwrapped one capsule and rolled it between his fingers. Immediate effect! The advertising slogan on the box caught his eye. His rut cycle was approaching anyway, and since it was just a ‘suppressing’ medication, taking it shouldn’t cause major problems. Reading the search results, the side effects were merely fatigue and headaches.

    The answers to various questions were right in front of him.

    Ma Jae-seung texted Shin-woo to come pick him up, then tossed the pill into his mouth without bothering with water. The answer would come soon, so there was no reason to stay longer. The capsule, barely half the size of a fingernail, slipped too easily down his throat and began dissolving inside him.

    A loud clatter rang out as a plastic tray hit the floor. When he glanced over, Kim Ye-wook was staring at him with a shocked expression. Forgetting to pick up the tray, he approached carefully and asked.

    “Did you…just take it? Now?”

    “Why are you so surprised? Isn’t this what you wanted to know?”

    When Ma Jae-seung asked back with a smirk, Kim Ye-wook closed his mouth. Ma Jae-seung took a big sip of his drink to wash down the pill completely, then crossed his arms over his chest.

    “Let’s see if there are any defects.”

    Even at this direct mention of defects, Kim Ye-wook didn’t react. His large eyes didn’t even blink as they scrutinized Ma Jae-seung thoroughly. So in the end, was he also curious about whether I was a failure? Maybe he’d stayed close all this time to find out how Ma Jae-seung differed from his dead brother, whether the research his brother gave his life for had ultimately succeeded. Feeling deflated, Ma Jae-seung let out a hollow laugh.

    There were no symptoms yet. Though this would mean he was fake, strangely his head felt clearer and his chest gradually calmer. Even if there was no effect, even if he remained a failure in the end, it didn’t seem so bad. At least it would mean that guy hadn’t lied about him enduring torture-like ruts.

    Ma Jae-seung picked up his phone and confirmed Shin-woo had read his message. His stomach churned at the thought of him dropping everything and rushing here. The barely-drunk beverage felt sickly in his stomach. He shouldn’t have drunk it on an empty stomach. While rubbing his chest again, Ma Jae-seung did his best to distract himself.

    Was the medicine starting to take effect? No. It was too subtle for that. Though his nerves were on edge, there didn’t seem to be any real effect.

    As he was slowly exhaling and muttering to himself for a while, he suddenly felt something was off and furrowed his brow.

    Strange.

    Why am I hoping the suppressants won’t work?

    If they worked, it would make future ruts easier to endure and mean he was a real Alpha no different from others. Since it was irreversible anyway, hoping the experiment succeeded would be normal.

    Just then, as he inhaled, his chest dropped heavily. His heartbeat raced rapidly, and soon the sensation of blood rushing quickly dominated his entire body. Was the medicine finally taking effect? Even as his vision spun, Ma Jae-seung gritted his teeth thinking of Shin-woo.

    As fatigue washed over him, his pheromones wouldn’t release properly. Did Shin-woo lie to me?

    “Ha, shit.”

    His scalp felt cold, then his face burned hot with fever. Suddenly, all his hair seemed to stand on end. Ma Jae-seung grabbed the bar and stood up, stumbling toward the window. He wanted fresh air but couldn’t open it. His damp palm scraped against the blinds as he slid down to the floor.

    His body floated then fell. It felt like endlessly falling from a ride without rest. The dizziness and queasiness in his stomach swung Ma Jae-seung back and forth between pleasure and discomfort. When Ma Jae-seung opened his eyes while struggling to maintain balance on his knees, he saw large eyes coming into focus.

    Kim Ye-wook was crouching, peering at Ma Jae-seung’s face. His posture, tilting his head to look closer, and his gleaming eyes were grotesque. There’s no way it could have succeeded. I knew it. He couldn’t tell if the voice penetrating his ears was Kim Ye-wook’s or his own mind’s. When he squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again, this time he saw a long, slit-like smile.

    [I knew it, son.]

    The voice that seemed to echo from afar was familiar. Ma Jae-seung lifted his trembling eyelids. The man who had thrust his face right up close grinned as soon as their eyes met.

    [Yes, that’s right, open your eyes and look at me properly. You held out well. You’ve got quite the tenacity!]

    The man checking his condition while patting his cheeks was his father. Like reliving a past event, the returned fragment of memory was terribly vivid.

    When his father stepped back, the suddenly pouring light made it impossible to see. He had been trapped in darkness for that long. He tried to get up by crawling on all fours, but his body had no strength left. As his fingertips caressed the cold floor pressing against his cheek, Ma Jae-seung gradually remembered where he was.

    It was the basement of his mother’s villa. A cramped room without a single ray of light. A prison cell. He had been confined there as punishment for putting on an act with fake blood. He couldn’t even tell how long he’d been locked up since there was no way to distinguish day from night.

    [Butler Hwang must have secretly brought you food? You wouldn’t have died from a bit of starvation, such a soft-hearted person. That’s why I like him though.]

    Ma Jinseong clicked his tongue while turning Ma Jae-seung’s head this way and that. While confirming it wasn’t his intention that food had been occasionally brought during that time, he carefully examined Ma Jae-seung’s clouded eyes. “This must never happen again. You made me look like a fool in front of the doctor. Are you trying to make me look like a father who can’t even control his own child?” Throughout Ma Jae-seung’s deathlike silence, he prattled on solely about himself, about the emotions he had felt. As he listened to the voice he had once hoped would call him affectionately, heat began to build. A flame that started from deep in his chest was slowly spreading.

    I want to kill him.

    Anger bordering on murderous intent heated his head. Breaking free from the frustration and depression of craving impossible affection, he finally felt pure rage. He wanted to kill him. Wanted to strangle him. If he’d had any strength left, he would have tried.

    After Ma Jinseong left, employees came to support Ma Jae-seung. His splayed fingers twitched. Watching the back of Ma Jinseong’s head as he walked away, Ma Jae-seung repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fist. I want to kill him. Want to kill him. Die. With enough force to crush a windpipe, he gripped the empty air with all his might.

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