MIM 93

Mom, Dad, and the missing child. The parents in the photo looked much healthier and heavier than they do now. Their lips were curved widely, and their faces shone without a trace of shadow. Even during the family party welcoming ‘Ju-won’ as their new family member, or when they all had barbecue in the yard, Ju-won had never seen his parents smile so brightly, showing all their teeth.

Mom and Dad were longing for their lost child. That was why they visited this empty room to greet and talk to the child in the photo. That was why they sometimes unconsciously called Ju-won “Ji-won” by mistake.

Quietly observing his surroundings, Ju-won slipped into the desk chair. The chair height fit him perfectly. He tried lying on the bed and reading picture books from the bookshelf. Finding glasses in a case on the low shelf, he tried those on too. The small glasses fit his face perfectly. Though the prescription lenses made it hard to see clearly, the child didn’t take them off.

Ju-won ran to the attached bathroom to look in the mirror. His blurry, bespectacled face somewhat resembled the child in the photo. As his vision spun dizzily while imagining his parents’ brightly smiling faces beside him, he heard the sound of the front door opening and closing.

Dad’s home. Knowing his parents’ return schedule, Ju-won ran out excitedly.

“Dad!”

The man, who looked up at the pattering footsteps, was startled upon seeing Ju-won. His face began turning pale as if seeing a ghost, making the child stop in his tracks, equally surprised. Taking a step back and leaning against the door, the man blankly looked the child up and down. His face showed shock rather than joy.

“What…what is this?”

The man strode over and grabbed Ju-won’s arm. Before he even had the chance to be startled, the man’s large hand roughly pulled the glasses off the child’s small face. The frame’s edge scraped across his cheek, leaving behind a reddish mark.

“Where did you get these? Huh? Where did you get these?!”

Unable to speak before the man’s harsh demands, Ju-won remained silent. While shaking the child’s shoulders roughly while brandishing the glasses, the man suddenly seemed to remember something and hurriedly kicked off his shoes, rushing inside. The child, who had fallen by the entrance from the man’s force, quickly crawled to press his back against the wall. His scratched cheek stung and his startled heart raced. I’m sorry. The words he couldn’t say remained stuck in his tightly closed throat.

Until Mom returned afterward, the child sat there motionlessly. He couldn’t move a step because of the heavy breathing and what sounded like sobbing coming from far away.

“Ju-won. Why are you sitting here? Did something happen?”

“…”

“Are you okay? Where’s Dad?”

Upon finding the child crouched in the entrance, the woman frantically looked around. As low, pained sobbing reached her ears while she searched for the man, the panic in her wide eyes gradually faded. The woman, suddenly calm, stepped inside without asking anything. As if immediately understanding what had happened, she headed straight toward the sobbing. The child craned his neck to peer into the master bedroom. They held each other and cried for a long time.

He had only wanted to make them smile. Ju-won crouched alone by the entrance, waiting to be scolded. At the orphanage, when you did something wrong, you had to wait for punishment without running away.

After several minutes, the woman finally appeared. With bloodshot eyes and a stern expression on her face, she looked down at the child. She held his glasses in her hand.

“You shouldn’t touch things that aren’t yours. Don’t go into rooms without permission. Understand?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

The child pressed his pounding heart against his knees and nodded. The woman heaved a deep sigh and went into the master bedroom without looking back. Though her voice continued softly as she comforted the man behind the door, none of her soothing words reached the child.

⚝⚝⚝

Ji-won was found just a month after the child’s adoption. He was discovered collapsed on a road in the outskirts, far from home, a passing driver found and reported the dehydrated child who had lost consciousness while walking a long distance. The investigation revealed that a deranged couple had randomly kidnapped the child from the street and kept him captive for over two years.

When found, Ji-won’s language abilities had deteriorated and his nutritional state was severely compromised. The couple provided him with every possible care. They took turns using vacation days to spend time with Ji-won, homeschooled him, and fed him all sorts of delicious foods. They immediately fixed anything that made Ji-won uncomfortable. They changed his bedding multiple times, remade prepared meals, and even got a much larger car when Ji-won felt cramped. Everything was done according to Ji-won’s wishes without a single complaint.

“I don’t want a sibling!”

Except for the one thing they couldn’t make disappear immediately.

Ju-won wanted to get along with Ji-won. Not only was it better to have a friend his age than being alone at home, but Mom and Dad only paid attention to him when he tried to get along with Ji-won. He tried everything to get closer, sharing snacks and bringing toys, but Ji-won would scream and have fits each time. It was around then that Ji-won started wetting his bed every night.

One night, when Ju-won left his room to use the bathroom, he noticed the master bedroom light still brightly lit and was drawn toward it. He just wanted to say goodnight one more time.

“There was another child those people had kidnapped. They found him buried in their yard.”

“…Do you think Ji-won saw them kill that child? What if that trauma is why he’s so uncomfortable around Ju-won?”

“Maybe…they just didn’t get along there.”

“Ji-won was already sensitive, and being in a strange environment with those crazy people, spending over two years with an unfamiliar child, the stress must have been immense. Bed-wetting comes from anxiety. Coming back home to find a strange child…it must feel like reliving a nightmare. It’s so pitiful.”

After that, their voices grew much lower.

“Then what should we do? We can’t cancel the adoption now.”

“It hasn’t even been six months. Why not? We can cite behavioral issues. It wouldn’t even be a lie.”

“…”

“You saw how he imitates Ji-won. Wearing his glasses, and the other day he even ate with his left hand because Ji-won is left-handed. He forces toys into Ji-won’s hands even when Ji-won refuses. How cunning he is, even tattling that Ji-won didn’t wash his hands after going out. What did I tell you? I said a child that desperate would have issues.”

“Don’t blame me when we decided together.”

The voices grew smaller and smaller until…

“Anyway, we can’t cancel the adoption. Everyone in the neighborhood knows we adopted. My coworkers know—how would it look if we cancelled the adoption now? Even business associates came to the barbecue party to congratulate us.”

“Everyone would understand if we explained about Ji-won being unstable, that we had no other choice in the matter.”

“I run a business. Do you know how important image is? Would you want to work with someone so irresponsible?”

Finally, the voices became inaudible.

* * *

“Ju-won, want to go somewhere quickly with Mom and Dad?”

Well past midnight, the door to the child’s room carefully opened. Knowing what a dawn walk meant, he pretended to be asleep, but eventually had to open his eyes due to the persistent shaking. Mom’s eyes were swollen as if from crying, and Dad couldn’t meet his gaze, only staring at the floor. It wasn’t hard to guess where they wanted to go at this late hour.

The child put on his favorite clothes and followed them. In the car driving through the night, amid silence where no one spoke, the child thought about the orphanage director he would soon meet again, and the new morning he would face at the orphanage. He thought about things he’d done wrong and things that couldn’t be helped. Just like when he was first abandoned at the orphanage, realizing he would never see Mom and Dad again made one corner of his heart feel hollow and aching.

After driving for a long time, the car stopped in an unfamiliar neighborhood. The view through the window wasn’t the familiar orphanage, but rather a desolate street.

“Ju-won, we’re here.”

Though the child hesitated, gripping the seat tightly, the door opened. Led by Dad’s hand out of the car, cold wind struck his face. Without the orphanage director or the familiar playground in sight, the child shuddered in the bleak landscape.

“Mom and Dad forgot something at home, but we’ll be right back. Will you wait here for just a moment?”

“Let’s go together.”

The child shook his head and held onto the woman’s hand. The woman looked at the man after glancing down at the desperate hand. The man frowned and strode back to the car. Toward his retreating figure, the child revealed his innermost feelings he had kept suppressed until the end.

“I love you.”

The briefly slowed steps picked up speed again. The woman, who had been fidgeting with trembling lips pressed tight, coldly removed the child’s hand and jumped away. They fled to the car and left without even leaving the white lie about waiting just five nights.

The child looked up at the old bus stop sign and quietly crouched down. Five nights. After murmuring softly, the child picked up a stray stone and drew a line on the ground. Soon after, a teardrop fell and erased the crooked line.