NFS 1.14

“We really aren’t compatible.”

He let out a small, incredulous laugh.

“Ha, are you pretending not to remember, or do you really not remember?”

“What?” As Joo Seung-ha asked warily, Seo Ahn-jae came closer and looked down at him. To Joo Seung-ha, his pupils seemed as cold as black ice.

“Every time I took you, you cried and whined because you liked it so much.”

Joo Seung-ha looked at him quietly before turning his attention to the clock on the wall.

“I cry easily during sex, even if it’s not with you, senior.”

Already 10 o’clock. Though checking the time wasn’t difficult, he couldn’t easily tear his eyes away from the clock. No sound could be heard in the room right then. Joo Seung-ha turned his body without looking at him. It wasn’t far to the door, and there were no footsteps following.

Joo Seung-ha only turned to look at him when he reached the door. Under the bright indoor lights, Seo Ahn-jae’s still-damp hair shone like a beast’s fur. Beast—Joo Seung-ha’s heart froze as if he’d just encountered a predator silently emerging from what he thought was an empty cage. The other man moved slowly toward Joo Seung-ha.

“That’s good to know.”

He muttered, and before Joo Seung-ha could get out of the way, he quickly reached out and grabbed Joo Seung-ha’s arm, twisting it behind his back. Ugh, Joo Seung-ha swallowed his groan and tried to escape, but soon after another shock overwhelmed his body.

Bang!

Seo Ahn-jae pushed Joo Seung-ha’s body against the door. While Joo Seung-ha couldn’t gather his thoughts due to the suddenness of the situation, he also couldn’t understand any of it. Why act so angry…shudder. Joo Seung-ha couldn’t continue this line of thought.

Seo Ahn-jae’s body pressed against his back, pushing until he could barely breathe. He grabbed Joo Seung-ha’s hair roughly and lowered his lips to his ear. The lips touching his ear pushed hot breath and low whispers into Joo Seung-ha’s body. Joo Seung-ha shivered at the low laughter mixed in the other man’s voice.

“You still like pain, don’t you?”

Content Warning: This contains mature themes and explicit content.  

Perhaps they had buttoned the first button wrong. Though his relationship with Seo Ahn-jae wasn’t normal, thinking it was fine because he was satisfied—this mindset might have been the first misplaced button. Back then, every cell in Joo Seung-ha’s body was focused on Seo Ahn-jae.

He interpreted every minor reaction from Seo Ahn-jae as something special, magnifying it internally. He even assigned meaning to Seo Ahn-jae’s rough handling of his body, reinterpreting it as a source of joy. Of course, fear was much greater at first. He was nervous and confused about his first sexual experience, and there was fear of pain.

However, what scared him most was the worry that Seo Ahn-jae wouldn’t respond to him. What if I’m so worthless he can’t get aroused even for money? Since men can easily get aroused and climax without emotional attachment, would someone like me be enough to excite senior? Despite trembling, hope blossomed in his heart. He feared the collapse of that hope more than the physical pain of his first experience.

So when Seo Ahn-jae actually pushed his hardened member into his body, he could suppress the pain that made him want to run away. But for Joo Seung-ha, his first experience was nothing but pain. He bit his lip until it bled to avoid screaming, and the organ pushing into him from behind felt like a weapon tearing his body apart.

Although he had to stay in bed all day after his first experience, he grinned like a madman just from the fact that he had aroused Seo Ahn-jae. For Joo Seung-ha, this represented possibility. If he could be a sexual object, the possibilities could be endless. So when he met him for the second time, he didn’t complain about Seo Ahn-jae’s rough behavior.

“Get on your stomach.”

Even at the command that suggested Seo Ahn-jae didn’t want to see his face, Joo Seung-ha was happy. But unfamiliar with the position, he lay down awkwardly and stiffly. He felt ashamed. The feeling was like standing naked in a public square, trembling from deep inside. Just turning his head to look at Seo Ahn-jae required great courage. But as soon as Joo Seung-ha met his eyes, he heard a low curse.

“Lower your head, you bastard.”

Trembling at the sharp, frightening voice, he lowered his head to the ground. Yet even then, part of him held hope. Maybe today too, he’ll get excited and finish because of me.

“Take off your pants.”

Following the command, he removed his pants while lying down with trembling hands. His face burned red with shame at exposing his naked body to Seo Ahn-jae. Still, he didn’t stop. The prolonged silence made his body, positioned on all fours like a dog, tremble more, and shame threatened to overflow to the top of his head. He could endure because he felt Seo Ahn-jae’s gaze on his skin.

“Hey.”

When Seo Ahn-jae called after a while, his body jerked in surprise. The “yes” might not have even properly left his mouth. Regardless, the commands continued. Though still seemingly irritated, his low voice was somehow hoarsely broken.

“Grab your buttocks with your hands and spread them.”

At first, he didn’t understand the command. Only after a few seconds did he grasp its meaning, and his already red face threatened to burst. Joo Seung-ha suppressed the urge to run away and reached back with one hand. Though his hand was visibly shaking, he didn’t stop. No matter how embarrassing, he had to do it. The issue was executing the command precisely.

“Damn it, use both hands to grab and spread.”

Joo Seung-ha didn’t understand. How could he reach back with both hands while lying down? The answer came from Seo Ahn-jae, who couldn’t tolerate Joo Seung-ha’s hesitation. His hand suddenly grabbed the back of Joo Seung-ha’s head and pushed him hard into the bed.

Ugh, Joo Seung-ha swallowed his groan as his face pressed into the bed, his upper body collapsing. Only after the hand pressing his head disappeared did he realize this position allowed him to freely move both hands. Being unfamiliar with everything, adding something new didn’t reduce his confusion.

“Hey.”

A low voice urged him on. Joo Seung-ha buried his face sideways in the soft bedding and reached back with his other hand. He grabbed his fleshy buttocks with both hands, but spreading them required more courage. Joo Seung-ha had made a promise to himself during his encounters with Seo Ahn-jae.

No matter how angry he gets or what curses he spouts, keep your eyes open and watch everything. Remember everything about the room we share together—the wallpaper pattern, the shape of the bedding and furniture, even the color of the carpet on the floor as if you were taking a photograph.

But spreading himself was so shameful that he wanted to close his eyes. While Joo Seung-ha hesitated and delayed following the command, strangely, this time there was no voice urging him from behind. But Joo Seung-ha felt Seo Ahn-jae’s gaze more intensely. Though it might have been an illusion created by shame, it felt like he had even stopped breathing while watching this embarrassing display.

Joo Seung-ha slowly spread the flesh in his hands. Bit by bit, so slowly tears of shame almost fell, little by little. But in reality, it only took a few seconds.

No sound could be heard. Only his breath against the stiff hotel bedding indicated time was passing. Just when he wondered if this was the end, something touched between his spread buttocks. His heart leaped in surprise.

What touched him was the tip of a hot, hard column. The tip that rubbed against his entrance was wet enough to be sticky. Not immediately recognizing what it was, Joo Seung-ha tried to raise his head. But a rough hand grabbed the back of his head and pushed him down into the bed again. Now clearly husky, the low voice commanded frighteningly. Like announcing the start of the main event, the same command as before, “Close your eyes.”

Thus his second time was also nothing but pain. Though it was an act solely for climax, with rough entry and no proper foreplay, for Joo Seung-ha it was confirmation that built hope. No matter how roughly Seo Ahn-jae handled him or what curses he spoke, everything sounded like signals indicating his arousal for Joo Seung-ha. And at some point, Joo Seung-ha began getting excited by these things. The moment rough actions and curses transformed into heart-fluttering sensations, Joo Seung-ha’s misplaced button became difficult to undo.

“Team Leader Joo! Team Leader Joo!”

Joo Seung-ha snapped out of his thoughts and turned around at Manager Park’s voice following him to the parking lot.

“Why do you keep walking when I’m calling for you?”

Manager Park, who usually viewed Joo Seung-ha with slight disdain, asked in a dissatisfied voice.

“I was lost in thought for a moment there.”

He deliberately avoided apologizing and instead gave a brief excuse. Manager Park seemed suspicious but soon excitedly got to his point.

“Team Leader Joo, you should visit this place today. It’s a large boutique in Garosu-gil that’s recently started carrying pet supplies. I got their card through my contact, the shop owner in Heukseok-dong. That owner promised to put in a good word for us. The boutique owner is actually the building owner too. Isn’t that amazing?”

Joo Seung-ha took the business card into his hands but didn’t understand what was so amazing about it.

“The owner is really something. They even own another building in Garosu-gil, can you believe it? Must be loaded. So you have to go today, okay?”

“I don’t have any business in that area today. I’ll have to visit nearby the day after tomorrow, so I’ll go then.”

“No, that won’t do! I already told their staff you’d come today. You’re going to Gangnam anyway, right? The owner will be there today. An opportunity like this doesn’t come around often.”

Joo Seung-ha furrowed his brow. He considered saying something as a superior to this forceful pushing but held back. He didn’t want to waste time here. But he also didn’t want to simply comply with someone making such a fuss over securing one business contact.

“If it’s not a good opportunity unless it’s today, then it’s not really a good opportunity. I’ll call and visit when I have the time.”

Manager Park sighed and said something, but Joo Seung-ha ignored him and headed to his car. Though he put the business card of this supposedly amazing store in his pocket, his mind was again filled with thoughts that had left him dazed earlier. After things ended with Seo Ahn-jae, just as love suddenly disappeared, his desires faded too. He hadn’t had sex for seven years.

Content Warning: This contains mature themes and sexual content.  

After discharge from military service, he had to focus entirely on survival, not even being able to afford a room to stay in. At some point, life’s priorities shifted to the shelter, and between working at the company and responding to calls and texts even on weekends, there was no room for love to grow. But desire was different. Once the busy and tiring lifestyle became familiar and work stabilized, he began to pleasure himself occasionally.

The problem was that his only experience with sex was with Seo Ahn-jae. Though he never deliberately recalled Seo Ahn-jae even in his fantasies, in Joo Seung-ha’s mind, the one taking him always involved rough actions and cursing. That was what made it easier to get aroused. Damn it, damn it. Joo Seung-ha cursed to himself as he got in his car, remembering what happened in Seo Ahn-jae’s office over the weekend.

‘You still like pain, don’t you?’

Seo Ahn-jae’s words brought more embarrassment at being exposed than anger. He was grateful Seo Ahn-jae couldn’t see his face right then—he was that flustered. But what angered him most was Seo Ahn-jae’s body pressing against his back. As he pressed with force, one part of his completely flush body was hot and hard against Joo Seung-ha’s waist. His erect member.

‘I cry easily during sex, even if it’s not with you, senior.’

At that moment, Seo Ahn-jae was clearly so enraged his knuckles tingled. The only rational thought was, I’m going to cause trouble. Even now, he wondered why that casual, dismissive remark had made him snap so suddenly.

Maybe it was those eyes—eyes that looked straight ahead but held nothing in them. Before, those light brown eyes had an almost burdensome sparkle, showing emotions plainly like an innocent child. Now there was nothing in what used to be a brown summer lake overflowing with everything. It had become a solid frozen lake in midwinter.

That was what turned his insides upside down. When Seo Ahn-jae pushed against Joo Seung-ha’s body, he truly believed he would take him by force. It didn’t matter. Who cared if someone like Joo Seung-ha was broken. Restraining his arms was as easy as before. Pinning him against the door with force was familiar too.

Seo Ahn-jae’s body remembered surprisingly quickly how he used to push him like this often before. Still the right height to fit perfectly in his arms with that thin frame. Seven years ago, this size was at least one thing he had been satisfied with. Though he’d held others with similar builds to Joo Seung-ha, no other body had been as satisfying. Like puzzle pieces fitting together, the other man’s body had perfectly matched with his body.

Although Seo Ahn-jae had built more muscle through exercise than seven years ago, the body against his chest, stomach, thighs, arms, and member still fit perfectly. Joo Seung-ha’s body was electrifying enough to turn irritation and anger into pleasure. At that moment, Seo Ahn-jae deliberately pressed closer and brought his lips to Joo Seung-ha’s ear. The hotel body wash scent from before was gone.

But the faint natural scent without artificial fragrance spread through Seo Ahn-jae’s body faster than that strong hotel scent had. Taking a breath, he whispered his anger. At that moment, he really wanted to check. Your body still fits perfectly with mine, but what about you? Do you still like pain?

He felt him stop breathing and stiffen. Another wave of arousal rushed to his member at this subtle reaction. Some of the rage that had been driving him to push against the other turned into excitement. Seo Ahn-jae wanted to check more. How those brown eyes would look. Though it was difficult to separate their bodies, he had to see.

Taking his body could wait until after. And in those trembling eyes, he saw confusion and familiar fear. That fear that drove him crazy seven years ago. When he had that look in his eyes, Joo Seung-ha would instead let out moans full of ecstasy. Unfortunately, the eyes quickly returned to normal, changing to a hostility he hadn’t seen before.

“Damn it, you shouldn’t do this to someone who’s driving you. I might drive terribly.”

Watching him curse angrily in a low voice, Seo Ahn-jae thought: Ah, it’s not disappointing at all. Rather, it’s even better. What if those eyes changed back to fear and submission, crying beneath him? The anger that had dominated him just minutes ago transformed into something entirely different. Anticipation brought back reason. Right, it would be a waste. This bastard needs to be savored carefully.

“CEO?”

Secretary Choi softly called out to Seo Ahn-jae, who seemed lost in thought, staring at one spot this whole time. While small meetings in Seo Ahn-jae’s office were common, it was rare for him to be so lost in thought that he couldn’t hear when called, not paying attention to the meeting’s contents at all.