NFS 1.16

“You’re the one who should stop caring about my anger. It makes it look like you like it.”

Joo Seung-ha unconsciously flared up and said in a low voice, “What nonsense is that you’re spewing?”

“Is it nonsense?”

Seo Ahn-jae smiled with the cigarette still dangling from his mouth.

“You liked it when I got angry and rough. Got excited thinking it showed I cared.”

Seo Ahn-jae’s gaze slowly moved down to Joo Seung-ha’s arm.

“When I grabbed your arms and pushed you against the wall with my body.”

His intense gaze moved from arms to torso, stopping a bit lower.

“You’d tremble with excitement, lose control, and finish.”

Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes suddenly moved up to look directly at Joo Seung-ha.

“Isn’t that right?”

“Weren’t you the one getting excited and finishing while watching me like that?”

“Yeah, I was turned on.”

“…”

“I kept telling you that. That you turned me on.”

A brief silence fell between them. The cigarette tip in Seo Ahn-jae’s hand glowed red as it burned. Seo Ahn-jae took a drag from the shortened cigarette and stepped half a pace closer to Joo Seung-ha. Again, he exhaled smoke over Joo Seung-ha’s face. Joo Seung-ha cursed and glared fiercely at Seo Ahn-jae.

“Damn it, why do you keep doing this?”

“Because I want to see it.”

What? But Joo Seung-ha couldn’t ask this out loud. Perhaps because the chill running down his neck had already sensed the answer beforehand. While holding Joo Seung-ha’s gaze, Seo Ahn-jae tapped the ash to his cigarette again.

“Joo Seung-ha, close your eyes.”

It was exactly like that low, husky command barely being able to suppress the excitement in his voice from seven years ago.

Looking back later, Joo Seung-ha could only think he’d been lucky at that moment. The cigarette smell that enveloped his face bound him like a magician’s mystical smoke. Forgetting they were outside at the moment, he was captivated by Seo Ahn-jae’s voice and gaze. Maybe it really was the cigarette smoke’s magic, drawing him deep into the past like being sucked into a cave. If the outside world’s sounds hadn’t reached him then, he might have been caught without resistance by Seo Ahn-jae’s silently reaching hand.

“I’ll just have one cigarette before going in. Hey, I’ll be right back…”

A young man’s voice on the phone as he entered the smoking area woke Joo Seung-ha’s mind like an alarm. Joo Seung-ha quietly drew in his held breath and quickly stepped back. This time Seo Ahn-jae didn’t follow. He just noticed Joo Seung-ha’s eyes hardening and watched irritably as Joo Seung-ha turned away.

“This is really some f*cked up game.”

Though Seo Ahn-jae just watched indifferently at Joo Seung-ha’s words, the innocent smoker about to enter hesitated. Seo Ahn-jae casually tossed his now-finished cigarette into the ashtray.

“Is there even such a thing as a beautiful game?”

Seo Ahn-jae’s question sounded light but had a cold blade in it. As he asked, he glanced at the smoker standing awkwardly at the entrance. The man unconsciously flinched, averting his gaze and suddenly looking at his smartphone while turning away.

“Geez, where is this guy…?”

He muttered while quickly disappearing like he couldn’t wait to get out of there. Joo Seung-ha took out his smartphone to check the time and spoke.

“Your memory must be bad, senior. If you keep acting like a jerk, I’ll have no choice but to drive like one.”

Seo Ahn-jae smirked at the threat he’d already heard in the office. Joo Seung-ha swallowed his exasperation and asked quietly, “Does this seem funny to you?”

“Who cares? Drive however you want.”

Joo Seung-ha was momentarily confused. Had he forgotten that I’m his driver? But watching Seo Ahn-jae leave the smoking area first, he realized Seo Ahn-jae truly didn’t care. That damn person wasn’t afraid at all. Following behind him, Joo Seung-ha tasted bitterness in his mouth. That point had been one of the reasons he’d fallen for him.

His confidence was different from the pretense and arrogance of privileged people. It had a transcendent quality. His confidence excluded fear as if he’d cut away humanity’s basic fears of death and failure. Forcibly suppressing a sigh, Joo Seung-ha was troubled as he stared at the broad back where the dress shirt pulled taut across the shoulders. Could this person possibly fear anything at all?

***

The atmosphere at Friday’s sales team meeting wasn’t good. Manager Park, who had clearly been severely scolded by Team Leader Joo for some reason, had used his vacation days to take off Wednesday and Thursday consecutively and ended up not coming to work on Friday either. CEO Lee, who usually preferred to handle sales team matters internally, finally called Joo Seung-ha to her small office.

“Did Manager Park make a big mistake?”

“No.”

“Then?”

Joo Seung-ha briefly fixed his gaze on empty space before reporting casually.

“Just enforced some discipline. He’s good at his job, so when he returns, I’ll smooth things over and we’ll get along fine after that.”

CEO Lee hummed and stared at Joo Seung-ha intently, but soon nodded her head.

“Right, since he’s older, Team Leader Joo should let things slide sometimes. Of course, since Team Leader Joo is his superior, clearly draw the line at crossing boundaries.”

Joo Seung-ha responded “Yes” and was about to leave when CEO Lee added lightly, “It probably wasn’t ill-intentioned.”

Joo Seung-ha paused and looked at her, but CEO Lee kept her eyes on the monitor as she continued.

“He was probably chatting with a client’s CEO and bragged about knowing some impressive gay person who could overcome a breakup instantly. In his mind, he probably thought he was being helpful to both parties.”

When Joo Seung-ha didn’t ask how she’d heard everything and just stood there quietly watching, CEO Lee just moved her eyes.

“He’ll come to work on Monday. Treat him well then.”

“Yes, I will.”

CEO Lee looked at Joo Seung-ha curiously after his casual response. But Joo Seung-ha had nothing more to say and left the office immediately. CEO Lee might praise Joo Seung-ha for being magnanimous, but right now, Joo Seung-ha simply had no emotional capacity to spare.

If this had happened just a month ago, he would have cursed thinking “This is fucking annoying,” but now none of this mattered. After all, there was Seo Ahn-jae who was even more annoying. That was why he had completely forgotten about Manager Park and the blind date he had meddled with. He only barely remembered it when he got a phone call before leaving work that day.

[Joo Seung-ha…Team Leader. Oh, you looked young but you’re actually a team leader?]

The voice questioning his position out of nowhere on the phone was somehow familiar with Joo Seung-ha. President Kang? Strangely, rather than his irritated voice from Monday, Joo Seung-ha first recalled the other man’s anguished whisper from in front of the bar last night.

[Mr. Joo Seung-ha? Hello?]

“Yes, this is Team Leader Joo Seung-ha.”

When Joo Seung-ha answered, there was a moment of silence on the other end. Just as Joo Seung-ha was thinking about hanging up, he heard a slightly stiff murmur.

[…Ah, your phone voice is nice.]

Is that like saying I’m not nice in person, or what? Joo Seung-ha tended to lower his voice when he became calm, so some people found it a surprising contrast to his appearance. That was why he was particularly popular with women because of his voice.

“What do you need?”

[What do I need….Don’t you know? You need to see me, Mr. Joo Seung-ha. Don’t you have anything to say about how I got beaten up like a dog yesterday?]

Because Seo Ahn-jae had immediately taken him to the parking lot, all Joo Seung-ha could do was call the bar. He didn’t know how the bar had handled President Kang after taking him back, but seeing as he was able to make phone calls normally, it seemed he had made it home safely.

“No. I have nothing to say.”

[Well, I do.]

“Then please leave a message. I’m hanging up.”

The other person said something, but Joo Seung-ha simply pressed the end call button. It was almost 6 p.m.. Since he had no company visits scheduled, he was thinking of leaving work on time for once and going straight home to rest. But a message notification dinged, interrupting his plans. There was no text, just one photo. It was a picture of President Kang lifting his shirt to show his abdomen. It was a well-maintained muscular body, but it was covered in dark bruises. Another ding.

―I checked the CCTV at the bar entrance. I need to get information about the bastard who did this to me. I don’t want to have to sue you as an accomplice, so cooperate. By the way, I prefer talking to people face to face, so come to my store. I’ll wait until you come.

How long he waited didn’t matter to Joo Seung-ha. However, he disliked the fact that if President Kang continued to insist on contacting the Heukseok-dong shop to schedule a meeting with him, it would eventually involve Manager Park. Joo Seung-ha looked at the message for a moment before reluctantly getting up.

The entire way to President Kang’s store, he cursed Manager Park a few times while enduring the boring rush hour traffic before finally arriving at his store. When Joo Seung-ha opened the door to the select shop, President Kang, who had been leaning against the counter with his clothes askew, approached as if he’d been waiting all along. Today too, he wore glasses on his swollen face, but his hair looked neat as if freshly styled at a salon.

“Let’s go.”

Just like last time, those were his only words as he left the store first. Joo Seung-ha, who had just entered the store, thought “What the hell?” but had no other choice but to follow him. The destination wasn’t far this time either. It was a small pasta restaurant 20 meters away. When Joo Seung-ha stopped in front of the store, President Kang, who was about to enter, turned and asked.

“Have you eaten?”

“No. That’s why I’d like to finish talking quickly and go eat.”

Joo Seung-ha answered coldly, abandoning his business-friendly mode. However, President Kang smirked and pointed inside the store.

“I’m hungry so I’m going to talk while eating. You can come in and watch me eat before leaving.”

He went into the store without waiting for Joo Seung-ha’s response. A moment later, Joo Seung-ha reluctantly sat across from him. Then he watched with disapproving eyes as President Kang ordered three dishes, contrary to his words about eating alone.

“So.”

President Kang, who finally spoke up, leaned back in his chair and stretched his arm over the adjacent chair.

“Who is it? The one who kicked me like a soccer ball?”

Joo Seung-ha’s hesitation to answer wasn’t to protect Seo Ahn-jae. He felt uncomfortable acknowledging their connection with his own words. Even if it was just being classmates at a school he attended for a year, he could have explained their relationship, but perhaps the recent entanglements with the other man had unconsciously built up like a burden. Joo Seung-ha’s hesitation was brief, but President Kang seemed to see it in a different light and misunderstood the situation.

“If you want to protect that person from being sued…”

“No. It’s Seo Ahn-jae. I don’t care whether you sue him or not.”

President Kang, who had been sitting casually, stared at Joo Seung-ha as if caught by surprise.

“Isn’t he your boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Then why did he react like a jealous boyfriend?”

Joo Seung-ha, disliking his words, showed a reaction for the first time instead of his usual expressionless face. When Joo Seung-ha frowned, President Kang smiled curiously.

“You really don’t like what I said? Could it be that you dated CEO Seo Ahn-jae from Million before?”

The company name fell naturally from the other man’s lips. President Kang already knew Seo Ahn-jae’s identity. Joo Seung-ha realized that the message he sent was simply bait to draw him out.

“No. What else did you need?”

“I have many other matters. One of them is that I’m going to file a lawsuit against Seo Ahn-jae, who might have been your ex-boyfriend, so if you’ve broken up, it’s really okay, right?”

“He’s not an ex and we’ve never broken up because we were never together, so do as you please.”

As Joo Seung-ha tried to stand up, President Kang straightened his posture and quickly asked.

“Then is Million’s CEO the only one who has lingering feelings for you?”

Joo Seung-ha barely swallowed his irritation. Why do I have to keep being questioned about my relationship with Seo Ahn-jae when we’re really nothing to each other? If the other person kept doubting no matter how much he denied it, there was no point in continuing this conversation. Joo Seung-ha really tried to leave and stood up, but then he heard President Kang’s lowered murmur.

“It’s strange. The guy who hit me seemed similar to me.”

“No. You’re completely different.”

President Kang quietly looked up at Joo Seung-ha and asked.

“Then am I similar to your ex? Having absolutely no lingering feelings.”

Despite being a few years older than Joo Seung-ha, he seemed innocent like a child asking about something unknown. Joo Seung-ha thought “What an interesting person” while coldly shaking his head.

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Right, of course. Because you don’t know them.”

“But I do know one thing.”

“What?” President Kang lifted his gaze that had dropped lifelessly just now.

“That you need to eat all three dishes you ordered. Don’t waste them.”

What’s that all of a sudden? President Kang furrowed his brow, but Joo Seung-ha, standing up, repeated his casual and nonchalant words.

“Eat it all. Eat until you’re full and then go home quickly to walk your dog. It must be waiting, stretching its neck out for you.”

“How…did you know I have a dog?”

It was easy to notice since the few pet food and supplies sold in the store were only for large dogs. It clearly seemed like they were there for his own dog. But he didn’t want to explain any further.

“Just a simple guess. Enjoy your meal.”

He turned around and opened the restaurant door, but heard footsteps following him. Sure enough, he heard a voice calling “Mr. Joo Seung-ha.” Without answering, he simply turned his head, and President Kang was standing there with somewhat furrowed brows.

“Thank you. For comforting me.”

“It wasn’t to comfort you.”

President Kang kept looking at Joo Seung-ha with furrowed brows, but when Joo Seung-ha didn’t avoid his gaze, he turned his head to the side instead. When Joo Seung-ha was suspecting that the frowning might have been to hide embarrassment, he heard his murmur.

“No, not what you just said. …Yesterday.”

Yesterday. He remembered letting President Kang lean on him without pushing him away. The smell of alcohol was terrible, and the leaning weight was heavy, but he hadn’t been annoyed then and wasn’t now either. He didn’t say words of comfort yesterday either. Joo Seung-ha thought about saying that but just walked away instead. There was no voice calling him again. But for quite a while, he felt the other man’s gaze following him.