NFS 2.13

Is it dawn yet? Joo Seung-ha went to the living room to look for his clothes and checked the clock there. 8:45. Isn’t that around the same time I came here yesterday? Joo Seung-ha stared blankly at the clock, his sluggish mind trying to calculate how long he’d been in this house. So for a full day we had sex…

“Haa.”

Jo Seung-ha let out a big sigh as he moved his still-creaking, painfully aching body. He finally found his pants, but his shirt was torn and unwearable. He had no other choice but to borrow one of the homeowner’s T-shirts. Hoping it wasn’t some luxury brand, he pulled it over his head when something occurred to him. His body was clean. Though it should have been covered in traces of their activities, there was no evidence, and he even smelled of unfamiliar body wash.

Did he wash me? Rather than feeling grateful, it was unsettling to think something had happened while he couldn’t remember it. Joo Seung-ha finished putting on the T-shirt and was about to leave the room when he noticed a note on the table he hadn’t seen when he first got up.

‘Wait.’

The short command was similar to a note he’d received before in the past. Back then, it was probably ‘Eat.’ Like last time, the handwriting was as neat as a Gothic font. Perhaps that was why the brief content didn’t seem thoughtless. Joo Seung-ha suddenly thought this handwritten memo was more romantic than Seo Ahn-jae washing him while still unconscious. For someone whose profession involved expressing everything in 0s and 1s to leave handwritten notes…

But Joo Seung-ha shook his head and turned away. Romantic? How foolish of him to think so. Leaving the darkness-wrapped house behind, he stepped outside to find the air mixed with the humid rain smell, suggesting it had rained again during the day. Instead of going straight to his gosiwon, Joo Seung-ha first stopped at a nearby convenience store.

Though he wanted to go to his gosiwon quickly and rest his exhausted body, hunger came first. He poured water into a cup of ramen and wolfed down the noodles. He must have been quite hungry, as even after drinking all the broth, he didn’t feel satisfied.

Ah right, sex was quite a workout. I’d forgotten since it had been so long. Joo Seung-ha mulled over the thought he’d just had while cleaning up his trash. Sex that felt like exercise. After trying so hard to avoid sleeping with Seo Ahn-jae, their physical connection had become just another workout.

In the past, there was always a flutter in his heart whenever they slept together. This excitement, devoid of that emotion, made the sex feel lighter. But that was only in comparison to then—it wasn’t at all light for Joo Seung-ha now. Those eyes watching him, that voice calling him, those hands endlessly touching his body. Everything carried an almost burdensome weight.

He finally understood why Seo Ahn-jae hadn’t wanted to look at him during sex seven years ago. Now that their positions were reversed, he could clearly understand why. Seo Ahn-jae truly loved him. That unbelievable confession was true. He couldn’t miss it when Seo Ahn-jae poured out those emotions with his entire body. He never dreamed he’d end up in the same position as the other man.

But even though their roles were reversed from seven years ago, it wasn’t joyful or satisfying. Like Seo Ahn-jae said, it was just frustrating—why weren’t they in sync? Now that he knew Seo Ahn-jae’s words were true, how should he act? On his way home, Joo Seung-ha was confused. Should he try to match Seo Ahn-jae’s feelings out of consideration? But he immediately knew this wasn’t the answer.

‘This station is xxx, xxx. The doors will open on the left.’

The subway announcement broke through his thoughts. Joo Seung-ha recognized his stop and started moving toward the doors but paused mid-step. A sudden realization hit him right then and there. While Seo Ahn-jae’s honest behavior seven years ago might have been excessive, the other man at least had the  integrity to not deceive him. Joo Seung-ha gripped the handle tightly, swallowing his bitterness. What’s this? I really wasn’t the victim after all.

***

With Park Hyo-joon’s busy social schedule, weekend evenings were precious time. Tonight, he had rushed home after an unavoidable family dinner, planning to invite over a new model he’d met at yesterday’s gathering.

While his father would have previously scolded Park Hyo-joon’s inattentiveness harshly, lately he’d been more lenient, perhaps due to the investment company’s success. He even praised Park Hyo-joon as he hurriedly left, using an investor meeting as an excuse.

Park Hyo-joon felt proud of his father’s trust. He hadn’t expected the investment firm to do this well. He realized anew how lucky he’d been to secure Seo Ahn-jae. Having experienced first-hand Seo Ahn-jae’s almost supernatural ability to multiply money, he planned to stick by his side forever.

Even knowing his own substantial investment in the company’s establishment, Park Hyo-joon wasn’t arrogant enough to claim this success as his own. That was why he welcomed Seo Ahn-jae’s sudden visit warmly, rather than getting angry—though he was slightly disappointed as he’d already set up drugs for a more exciting evening with the model.

“Hey, do you know how many times I tried to contact you?”

Seo Ahn-jae entered the room and casually asked back, “Why did you call?”

“Why? You took away the cum dump from yesterday’s gathering. I heard you rescued him like some prince.”

Park Hyo-joon giggled as he turned toward the sofa, finding the whole thing too amusing for words.

“Shit, did the cum dump get upgraded to princess?”

When there was no response, he turned to find Seo Ahn-jae staring at the drugs on the table. Park Hyo-joon hesitated, remembering Seo Ahn-jae’s previous lecture about drugs. Though that was at an investor meeting and this was his home, his voice grew sharp with unconscious tension. Having already taken one pill, he suddenly wanted to hide it more.

“Tell me if he’s been upgraded. I only invited him because you said it was okay to play with your cum dump. He really wanted to meet you. Did you ghost him after fucking him?”

Still no response. Holding back the urge to curse about the drugs, Park Hyo-joon quickly added, “So what happened with the cum dump?”

Thanks to his effort to change the subject, Seo Ahn-jae finally spoke, though still staring at the drugs. “I asked you first.”

Remembering the question about why he’d called, Park Hyo-joon frowned. This bastard seems to be in a bad mood.

“I was curious about the cum dump, and I invited Kang Young-gi to Friday’s club meeting like you asked. He said he’d come, so I wanted to let you know. Now tell me. What brings you here?”

Park Hyo-joon checked the time. The model should be arriving soon. When he heard no response and turned his head, he gasped in surprise. Seo Ahn-jae was suddenly standing right behind him. Before he could wonder when Seo Ahn-jae had gotten so close, a fist flew at his face.

“Ugh!”

What the hell is this suddenly…? Park Hyo-joon tried to regain his senses while staggering backward, but another fist struck his face. Though the impact was loud enough to hear a crack, his shock was too great to register the sound.

The impact was so severe he couldn’t even scream properly. He could barely register that he’d stumbled and fallen and that his attacker was grabbing his collar to lift him up for another punch. Thud, thud. Each time the blood-stained fist struck his face, droplets of blood flew into the air.

“F…st…st…

“Stop. Don’t.” Hyo-joon’s pleas couldn’t escape properly through the blood pooling in his mouth. Blood streamed from his nose, dripping down his chin, and that blood mixed with Seo Ahn-jae’s fist spread across his face like paint with each hit. When he finally realized the beating had stopped, he had collapsed on the floor.

But his head was spinning hazily, and the pain was beyond mere hurt—it felt like his face would burst from the pain. When he sniffed back what he thought was mucus due to difficulty breathing, thick blood ran down the back of his throat. 

Fuck. He couldn’t even curse properly. Instead, he forcibly opened his mouth to spit out the hard object he felt on his tongue. It was his tooth.

“Ugh…f…ck…you bastard…”

Park Hyo-joon barely managed to curse as he looked up. One eye wouldn’t open properly, probably swollen shut. But he could clearly see the cold gaze looking down at him. Despite his situation, that gaze made him feel fear first. There was no emotion in those eyes, which made it even more chilling. They looked like a butcher’s eyes considering how to cut meat. That was why he unconsciously crawled backward.

“Hey, why…you…don’t tell me…ugh, is this because of that cum dump?”

This was the only reason that came to him instinctively. Seo Ahn-jae checked his wristwatch and answered briefly, “Yes.”

The easy answer left Park Hyo-joon momentarily stunned. 

“What? Is this some sort of joke? Or are you saying you actually love him?” 

But no detailed explanation followed. Seo Ahn-jae quickly delivered only the necessary information, as if in a hurry, “Don’t accept any more funds from Chairman Lee of XX’s side. Their funds will soon be frozen due to litigation, and if we’re unlucky, our investment could get tied up too. A reporter from J Women’s Magazine will be at Friday’s club meeting where Kang Young-gi is coming. Handle anyone in the guest list who might cause problems with them.”

Then, as if his business was done, he turned to leave. Seeing his back, Park Hyo-joon suddenly felt a surge of indignation and forced his upper body up.

“Fuck you…doing this shit to me…ugh…fuck, I can get you kicked out of the investment firm,…ugh, hey, you bastard!”

At Park Hyo-joon’s desperate shout, Seo Ahn-jae glanced back and replied, “Go ahead.”

The dismissive response, filled with annoyance, was more effective than any form of mockery.

Park Hyo-joon, forgetting his pain in his incredulity, screamed in absolute rage, “Fuck, do you know how much loss it would be if you wreck this business? Do you know how much money you’d lose?!”

Seo Ahn-jae’s lips twisted into an obvious sneer. To Park Hyo-joon, that handsome face looked demonic. Before even hearing his words, despair hit him first with the realization that he had already lost.

“You know why I’m successful? Money wasn’t my first priority. I’m not afraid at all even if all my assets disappear right now. Because I’m confident I can start from scratch and succeed even bigger.”

His confidence, free from fear of failure, made Park Hyo-joon lose the will to fight. Spitting out the blood that kept pooling in his mouth, he asked, “So today really was because of that cum dump?”

“Yes,” Seo Ahn-jae answered lightly again as if it were nothing, but his voice turned low and strong with clear threat as he added, “So don’t ever try anything with my princess again.”

Though Seo Ahn-jae turned and left, Park Hyo-joon couldn’t take his eyes off the gate where he’d disappeared out of, even as he breathed heavily. No matter how golden Seo Ahn-jae was, he couldn’t tolerate being beaten like a dog like this. Though anger made him want to cut ties and settle everything, Park Hyo-joon ultimately couldn’t reach for his smartphone. The damage he’d suffered from cutting Seo Ahn-jae off made him hesitate. Unlike Seo Ahn-jae who could throw everything away, he couldn’t.

“Haha…fuck, Seo Ahn-jae, you bastard.”

Park Hyo-joon let out a bitter laugh while muttering curses under his breath. Though realizing he couldn’t drive Seo Ahn-jae away made him more angry and miserable, accepting it somehow made it absurd. So, you did this to me just for teasing your cum dump once? What? Princess? Ha…Park Hyo-joon spat out more blood, feeling incredulous.

“Seo Ahn-jae, you crazy bastard.”

***

Seo Ahn-jae returned home and stopped abruptly as soon as he opened the front door. Joo Seung-ha’s shoes were missing. Rushing inside, he couldn’t see Joo Seung-ha’s clothes that had been draped over the sofa either. He practically threw the takeout food on the floor and flung open the bedroom door. The room was cool like a refrigerator, but empty. Seo Ahn-jae scanned the interior with fierce eyes before heading to the note he had left on the table. Below it was a hastily written addition: ‘Don’t follow me. I’ll contact you.’

Seo Ahn-jae stared expressionlessly at the note for a long while before slowly crumpling it in his hand. His blood ran cold at the fact that Joo Seung-ha wasn’t here. He shouldn’t have gone to Park Hyo-joon just now. This was clearly his own mistake. He should have kept Joo Seung-ha by his side for days on end.

Seo Ahn-jae barely suppressed the urge to grab him and drag him back home immediately. ‘Don’t follow me.’ It wasn’t easy for him to ignore these words anymore. If he acted purely based on desire, he would imprison and take him until his urges were satisfied, but desire mixed with emotion made everything more complicated.

Well, it wasn’t bad. He had already experienced how amazing it felt to get even a small morsel from Joo Seung-ha, like a fish trapped in a small pond, opening and closing its mouth, waiting only for food. Still, he couldn’t help feeling angry. Seo Ahn-jae changed into his workout clothes while deeply etching this failure into his body. He vowed never to make the same mistake again.