NFS 2.8

Perhaps because it was dinner time, the café only had about three tables occupied, so he was able to find President Kang quickly. He was sitting alone in a corner booth, staring blankly down at the table pathetically. At first, Joo Seung-ha thought he might be sleeping, since he was wearing sunglasses again. He really might have been sleeping as he didn’t seem to notice Joo Seung-ha approaching until the screech of the chair being pulled out. Then his mouth opened slightly in surprise.

“Huh? Why are you here?”

“To see you, President.”

Joo Seung-ha stated his purpose and was about to sit across from him when he hesitated briefly. His face was swollen. Though he wore sunglasses, it seemed like he’d been crying. But instead of saying words of comfort, Joo Seung-ha got straight to the point.

“If you’re going to donate food to an animal shelter, there are more reasonable and appropriate options. Since they’re from other companies, I’ll introduce you to their distributors. Please buy and send from them in the future.”

President Kang stared silently at Joo Seung-ha’s cold words before muttering in a weak voice, “I got it, so if you’re done talking, please leave. I’m not in the mood to talk to you today.”

“I still have more to say.”

What now? Looking at his face, Joo Seung-ha asked lightly, “Have you walked Antoine?”

An incredulous sigh escaped President Kang’s lips. After what sounded like a curse under his breath, he leaned back crookedly in his chair and pointed to the door with his chin.

“Do you care more about dogs than people, Joo Seung-ha? You keep going on about my dog even before this…I’m taking good care of my dog, so mind your own business and leave.”

Despite President Kang’s irritated words, Joo Seung-ha shook his head as he watched the employee bringing his drink.

“I should at least drink this before leaving. It costs 10,000 won per cup.”

The café employee flinched, glanced at Joo Seung-ha once, and disappeared. As Joo Seung-ha gulped down the cool iced coffee and set it down, Manager Kang asked, “Before, you left even when I asked you to stay, but today I look pitiful enough to watch?”

“No way. Someone who spends 500,000 won at once on shelter dog food—I’d be envious if anything.”

“Then why aren’t you leaving?”

Strangely, Joo Seung-ha himself didn’t have an answer to that. Taking an interest in the love life of a stranger, especially one showing interest in him, wasn’t like him. That was why he put up walls when they first met, but something was different this time. Joo Seung-ha believed this change came after gaining the ability to see himself objectively, after what he had been through seven years ago.

After properly seeing himself, apologizing to Seo Ahn-jae, and truly feeling it was over, a certain peace had grown in one corner of his heart. This happened despite his life becoming harder and having to move from his home to a goshiwon. So he could face President Kang comfortably now. But he couldn’t explain this change.

“Your employee asked me to. To comfort you.”

“Ha, that bastard.” President Kang grimaced while cursing his employee, but didn’t tell Joo Seung-ha to leave again. Instead, he said crookedly, “Comfort me quickly and just go.”

“Actually, I’m not good at comforting.”

“Then why are you sitting here?”

“For me, just having someone there is enough comfort.”

Joo Seung-ha spoke honestly and took another big sip of coffee out of embarrassment. 

President Kang no longer looked at him just crookedly. They both sat like that for a while. When Joo Seung-ha had almost finished his coffee, Manager Kang looked at the diminished cup and asked, “Have you experienced love like mine?”

“Something similar.”

“H-Howow did you overcome it?”

“A friend taught me something.”

“What was it?”

Joo Seung-ha turned his gaze away. Though President Kang thought a friend’s comfort would be obvious, he waited for his answer. When Joo Seung-ha turned back, his answer wasn’t special, but strangely, it took President Kang’s breath away. He could only watch Joo Seung-ha as he spoke.

“That love isn’t the only thing in your life.”

Until Thursday, Joo Seung-ha’s daily life was peaceful enough to feel like returning to the past. But strangely, this peace wasn’t entirely joyful, even though it was the time he’d wanted so much, even lying in the cramped goshiwon. Joo Seung-ha put down his book and picked up his smartphone.

Since leaving Seo Ahn-jae’s house that weekend, there had been no contact from him. Actually, Joo Seung-ha didn’t think he would end everything like this. Even if he had ended it, given his personality, he would contact to announce the end. But had he really ended it? Joo Seung-ha wondered about his decision.

Perhaps because he had sorted it out and let go of everything from seven years ago, thinking about him no longer felt unpleasant or pathetic. So for a very brief moment, really just a moment, he thought perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to become like old classmates who exchange contact once or twice a year.

However, this thought that emerged while his guard was down was immediately erased like with an eraser. Joo Seung-ha put down his smartphone and picked up not the book he was reading but the poetry collection he had meant to give to Seon. And he realized and realized again that he was already a cicada that had faded away after crying all its tears.

In stark contrast to lying in the goshiwon yesterday feeling dazed by the peace, anxiety spread up his spine as soon as he arrived at work Friday morning. Because of this, Joo Seung-ha couldn’t go straight up to the office. Someone was waiting for him at the parking garage entrance. It turned out to be his mother.

But what kept Joo Seung-ha from approaching her immediately wasn’t fear or disgust at her reappearance. Something seemed off about her appearance. Her arm was bandaged, and though she wore sunglasses, dark bruises extended down to her cheeks, visible even beyond them.

Her swollen lips had scabs, and despite it being summer, she wore high-necked clothes with long sleeves and pants. These were clothes she would never normally wear, loving to show skin. There were times before when she would cover all her arms and legs—when her husband had beaten her. So a chilling feeling overshadowed Joo Seung-ha’s anxiety right then and there.

Before he could approach, while keeping his distance and staring at his mother, she noticed him first and turned her head. But unlike before, upon seeing Joo Seung-ha, she avoided his gaze first, hesitated, then seemed to make up her mind and approached him. Joo Seung-ha’s gaze went to her legs as she walked up to him. She was limping.

“I didn’t want to come back either. But I went to your house and you’d moved, so I had no choice but to come here.”

“Did they hit you?”

Instead of asking how she got hurt, those words came naturally. Both Joo Seung-ha, who asked the familiar question, and his mother, who remembered how natural it felt, remained silent for a moment, unable to look at each other.

“What else? You think those gangster bastards caught me to treat me kindly?”

He hadn’t known she’d been caught. He had sworn not to give her money again, believing his aging mother could finally become independent, but now he realized he was wrong. What if her life became endangered? Fear struck him immediately.

“How much do you need to pay right away?”

He was too afraid to ask if the debt was really 700 million won. Since he didn’t even have 1/10 of that amount, he thought he should at least give her enough money to escape in the meantime. No matter how much he’d cut ties with her, he couldn’t ignore his mother appearing in this state. But his mother looked at him strangely.

“You paid it all already.”

“…What?”

“They said you paid all the money, so I was released. Otherwise, those bastards would’ve…”

Sold me, his mother mumbled the rest inside her mouth, still scared. But then she quickly poured out clear words to Joo Seung-ha, “I really didn’t think you’d give them that money. I told those bastards you had no money so they wouldn’t get a penny from you, but would they listen to me? Those bastards broke into your house last week to threaten you again, right? Crazy bastards…I don’t know where you got that money from but…”

“It wasn’t me.”

Joo Seung-ha hurriedly interrupted his mother, shaking his head.

“I never gave that money. I don’t even have that kind of money.”

“No, those bastards said so. Said you gave them the money. They were laughing about how well the threats worked.”

Joo Seung-ha ran his hand through his hair, clearly too confused for words.

“I’m telling you I didn’t give that money. I can’t even afford to rent a room. Where would I get that kind of money?”

“Then, then why are they saying you gave it to them? No, they definitely said they received 700 million.”

Ha, 700 million. Joo Seung-ha laughed incredulously at the absurd amount. He didn’t even have 700,000 won in his account, let alone 700 million…

“Those bastards were excited saying they actually received the full 700 million they’d written on the threat note with interest.”

…Note? Suddenly, another person who had seen that note came to Joo Seung-ha’s mind. Someone who could easily pay 700 million. Joo Seung-ha’s face turned pale instantly. His mother noticed the change and looked at him suspiciously.

“Who gave that money?”

“700 million…you say they received all 700 million?”

“Yes. Who on earth gave that money?”

Though he heard his mother’s urging, Joo Seung-ha couldn’t speak, lowering his head in speechless disbelief. This was truly absurd. No way, it couldn’t be. There was no way he would have paid such a large sum…

“Is it your lover?”

Joo Seung-ha sharply raised his eyes at his mother’s question. Her eyes held as much amusement as her voice.

“Well, I did give you a knockout face. Looking at how they paid 700 million at once, they must be head over heels for you—cry and squeeze out more while thanking them. Play it right and you might get another big one.”

“Cut that crap. They’re not my lover. I don’t want even ten won from others. I’ll never do what you do.”

When Joo Seung-ha snapped fiercely through gritted teeth, his mother immediately furrowed her brow. But she seemed to hold back from shouting, turning away with tightly pressed lips.

“Fuck, who pushed you to live like me? You’ve taken money too.”

His mother raised angry eyes while muttering.

“I didn’t come today to thank you. Don’t misunderstand. This money is payment for giving birth to you and raising you. I just received what I should have, so don’t act like you did me any favors, kid.”

“Hah, I’m telling you that wasn’t my money. Give me their contact information. I’ll go get it back…”

“No!”

His mother screamed loud enough to echo through the parking garage while grabbing Joo Seung-ha’s arm tightly.

“If you really don’t want to see me dead, never go to them. You might just need to sleep with that person a few times, but fuck, I-I…”

His mother clutched Joo Seung-ha’s arm with all her might, her eyes trembling with fear.

“Promise. Promise you won’t go to them. Then I won’t come looking for you anymore either. I’ll disappear from your life like you want, fuck, but if you go to them, we both die.”

When Joo Seung-ha just stared at her without speaking, she looked anxious before finally letting go and stepping back.

“Fuck, whoever it is, don’t play hard to get and just live with that man.”

Joo Seung-ha was momentarily surprised by the word “man” from his mother’s lips. She had a sneering smile as if wondering why he was surprised.

“Ha, you think I wouldn’t know you like men?”

He had thought she definitely wouldn’t know. He’d never said anything or shown any signs. Above all, she had never shown interest in her son. But her following words were even more surprising.

“You had someone you liked one-sidedly in college too. Well, that’s why you and that girl you always hung out with would drink and cry together all the time. She liked the same woman too, right?”

“You remember Seon?”

Though she frowned as if not remembering the name, she nodded.

“The girl who took care of abandoned dogs, right? I saw her a few times. Isn’t that why you help dogs now too?”

Joo Seung-ha couldn’t voice his “yes.”. It felt strange. She had always prioritized herself and only cared about men. She had never once asked about his school or friends. She wouldn’t know if Joo Seung-ha stayed out all night, and her only conversations with him were about her own needs. Yet she knew quite a bit about him.

“Is that Seon doing well now?”

“…Yes.”

Just then a car entered, its tires screeching loudly through the parking garage. She glanced at the sound and stepped back, intending to leave before Joo Seung-ha changed his mind.

“Keep quiet and stay put. Then I’ll remove myself from your life. I’ll never appear before you again.”

His mother gave a final warning and turned away. Joo Seung-ha watched for a long time until his limping mother’s figure disappeared, then swallowed a sigh and bit his lip hard. Money. 700 million won. Damn it.