NFS 3.13

―Too many to say?

“It would take a few days to organize it in Excel.”

―If you’re going to do it, organize the data and create it in VBA so that you can output it by situation and mood.

Ah, just like a developer to love macros. Joo Seung-ha furrowed his brow disapprovingly before spotting Hong Chan-woo coming out of the convenience store.

“Unless you become my boss and order me to, there’s no way.”

“I’m hanging up.” This time, Joo Seung-ha ended the call without waiting for the other person’s response.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Hong Chan-woo apologized with a bow. Though it was he who had done Joo Seung-ha a favor, Joo Seung-ha felt uncomfortable and quickly replied.

“No, I was the one wasting time with an unnecessary call.”

“Was it…an unnecessary call?”

He asked with a curious look. Joo Seung-ha nodded lightly and handed him Shim Dohye’s bag.

“Get home safely.”

“If you didn’t bring your car, I can give you a ride.”

“No thanks. I feel like walking anyway.”

Hong Chan-woo seemed about to say something but stopped and smiled instead.

“Alright then, see you soon.”

As Joo Seung-ha turned around, he belatedly wondered—why would we meet again?

***

Should I get a second job? While living in a goshiwon wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, with 700 million won in debt, Joo Seung-ha had considered this several times. No, since sleeping with Seo Ahn-jae was already a money-making activity, wouldn’t adding a part-time job make it three jobs? Since there were limited ways for a salaried worker to make money, Joo Seung-ha had been seriously considering getting a part-time job these past few days. That was why he couldn’t easily pass up the sudden income proposal. It was the president who had made the offer.

“What do you think, Team Leader Joo? Are you interested?”

Joo Seung-ha looked at the president once before turning to the Online Team Leader who had just entered the conference room. Though the makeup-free face of the woman in her 40s looked tired, she was a person whose abilities even Joo Seung-ha acknowledged. Noticing Joo Seung-ha’s gaze, she briefly repeated her earlier explanation.

“Honestly, getting an offer like this from Company N is nothing short of a miracle. While entry into the premium sales section is on hold, we got a request for N’s shopping broadcast instead. This shopping broadcast is different from conventional ones. How should I put it—they mix entertainment content to make it as fun as watching a TV show. The performers actually run around playing games, and some episodes even have drama-like stories. But make no mistake—this is still a shopping broadcast. You can’t help but buy things.”

The Online Team Leader added with admiration in her voice, “Their producer is a genius.”

Joo Seung-ha unconsciously thought of Hong Chan-woo whom he had met a few days ago. And when he still couldn’t speak, the Online Team Leader seriously persuaded, “A small company like ours won’t get this kind of opportunity again, even in our next lifetime.”

True, it was a good opportunity. But there was a reason why Joo Seung-ha couldn’t share in their excitement in regard to this conversation.

“But the conditions are the problem, right? They say Team Leader Joo must appear on the broadcast.”

The president cut in and turned to Joo Seung-ha.

“The premium department employee who contacted us…was it an assistant manager? She said you knew each other?”

Was that revealed? Surprised by this unexpected fact, Joo Seung-ha tried to conceal his shock.

“We’re not really acquaintances. We just shared a mutual friend in the past.”

When Joo Seung-ha indirectly said ‘We’re not close at all,’ the Online Team Leader’s excitement was halved.

“Then why did she emphasize knowing you and say she wanted to work together? Did she really fall for Team Leader Joo?”

“Absolutely not.”

When Joo Seung-ha strongly denied it, both the president and Online Team Leader burst out laughing. Finding their laughter strange, Joo Seung-ha looked at them as if asking ‘Why?’ The president cleared her throat and explained.

“Actually, we already asked them about it. Since Team Leader Joo has so many admirers. We wondered if it was due to personal feelings. But she said absolutely not, saying she had a love buried in her heart?”

The president’s response was light, but it felt heavy to Joo Seung-ha. He suddenly recalled her crying with trembling shoulders but with no sound coming out of her mouth. So it turned out to be something she would bury in her heart. But what was strange was that she used past love as an excuse. She could have just said she was currently dating someone.

“For my part, I want to seize this opportunity, but I can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do. However, listen to the conditions I’m proposing instead.”

Regardless of the sales amount, they would give a fixed percentage of revenue as an incentive. The president’s proposal was truly tempting. Although as a salesperson Joo Seung-ha received quarterly bonuses based on performance, pet food wasn’t a high-priced item, and the market was already a red ocean with limited room for expansion.

However, if the expected volume sold during the broadcast and he received the incentive, he could at least buy a used car with the cash. Forget the car, he might even be able to save up for a monthly rental deposit. Joo Seung-ha felt pathetic already calculating what he could do with the potential earnings, but this time, he couldn’t just stand on pride alone.

Especially since this was something the president, who had helped him so much, was hoping for. So reluctantly, Joo Seung-ha found himself at Company N’s cafeteria three days later. First, he needed to hear the answer to “Why me?” Perhaps because it was a suddenly scheduled appointment, Shim Dohye sent a message apologizing profusely and asking for him to wait just 10 more minutes. But there was no time to be bored. As if to fill Joo Seung-ha’s empty time, a message came from Seo Ahn-jae.

[Have you eaten?]

These past few days, probably since meeting Assistant Manager Shim, Seo Ahn-jae’s messages started including questions about Joo Seung-ha. While his one-sided updates about his daily life were easy to ignore, questions directed at Joo Seung-ha weren’t so simple to dismiss. As if realizing this, Seo Ahn-jae would casually throw out questions like this. Really trivial, insignificant things.

Why is he so concerned about my meals? Joo Seung-ha grumbled, but couldn’t proudly answer that he had eaten. Joo Seung-ha had used his lunch break to deliver items to a client company, and had also suddenly taken time out to meet Assistant Manager Shim. All he’d had today was a vitamin drink from the client company. Still, knowing that saying he hadn’t eaten would only lead to more messages, Joo Seung-ha lied.

[I ate. What time do you think it is?]

[I don’t believe you.]

Reading the message, Joo Seung-ha couldn’t help but be suspicious. Is he really having someone follow me? But thinking it seemed like paranoid self-consciousness, he dismissed the suspicion despite the unease he was feeling.

[Why are you so interested in my meals?]

Joo Seung-ha could guess several possible responses from Seo Ahn-jae. He might mention about that time he’d stumbled on his feet after not eating for a day in the parking lot, or the other man might say meals are important since we eat every day, or launch into praise of proper eating. However, Seo Ahn-jae’s actual response was simply:

[Because I like you.]

Joo Seung-ha stared at these words like facing a math problem without knowing the solution. At first, he didn’t believe it. After that he was dumbfounded, then uncomfortable. And now, he was anxious. An anxiety that couldn’t be precisely defined seemed to suggest to Joo Seung-ha that he could never get used to those words. As Joo Seung-ha was swallowing a sigh that threatened to escape out of his mouth, new text appeared on the screen.

[Don’t sigh.]

Did he hack the CCTV to watch me? The thought crossed Joo Seung-ha’s mind since Seo Ahn-jae was an IT developer.

[Sunbae, don’t get distracted while working.]

[Work is fucking awful.]

This time Joo Seung-ha had to suppress a laugh. It’s your company though. Well, even CEOs probably hate work sometimes. Still, he even sold his body to his junior seven years ago to build that company, taking money from him. Whenever he exchanged playful conversation with Seo Ahn-jae in reality, the past always crept in to twist their relationship. Knowing that it was his own fault, Joo Seung-ha couldn’t be the first to mention the past.

[Take a break.]

[What about you?]

[I still have lots to do.]

[Let’s take a break together.]

Joo Seung-ha knew this was both a proposal and pressure. It had been over a week since they’d met up. Joo Seung-ha was also thinking he couldn’t avoid it anymore, but hesitated to quickly answer “Okay.” Fortunately, an excuse to delay the response appeared.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

At Assistant Manager Shim’s voice, Joo Seung-ha put away his smartphone and got up to his feet. While greeting her, he unconsciously checked her complexion, and she noticed this and smiled awkwardly.

“I look terrible, right? I’ve been crying every night lately.”

Every night? That much? Joo Seung-ha slightly averted his gaze to hide his surprise and brought the drink she had placed in front of him to his lips. But he had a hard time swallowing it.

“It’s funny, isn’t it? Crying for days over a crush from high school.”

“It’s not funny. Everyone has a past that was once their present.”

Assistant Manager Shim’s eyes seemed to waver for a moment but soon hardened as she looked at Joo Seung-ha.

“Shall we talk about work?”

“Before that, I’d like to know why you made that proposal to our company.”

More precisely, he wanted to ask why him? Seeing Joo Seung-ha’s serious face, Assistant Manager Shim explained the reason casually.

“Team Leader Hong wanted it. Pet food content is something we haven’t tried yet, and he seemed to have lots of ideas. I also thought broadcasting for mass sales would be better for Team Leader Joo’s company than the premium sales section, so I made the proposal. Oh, you know who Team Leader Hong is, right? He said he met you when he came to pick me up.”

Assistant Manager Shim smiled brightly as she said this.

“Yes. I met him.”

“Ah, Hong and I are close. People at work even thought we were dating. You don’t seem surprised?”

Because he heard that but at the same time, feeling like she shouldn’t reveal that, Joo Seung-ha vaguely mumbled “No.” When Assistant Manager Shim heard that, she let out a short, bitter laugh.

“Did our team employee who we saw before tell you?”

“Um, yes.”

“Men really gossip unnecessarily a lot, don’t they?”

“I don’t think we should generalize like that.”

“Men were the first ones to generalize women as gossips, weren’t they?”

Well…Joo Seung-ha had no response to that.

“I’ll be careful about that myself from now on.”

A slow smile spread across Assistant Manager Shim’s face. It looked like he had passed some sort of test and that she was happy about that. But that couldn’t be. His judgment must be failing. Joo Seung-ha blamed himself, wondering if it was because he hadn’t eaten lunch. People really need food for their brains to work properly.

“Team Leader Hong has already come up with several concepts. Of course, we won’t carelessly film dogs in the studio just because it’s pet food. He really hates animal exploitation in broadcasts.”

That was appealing.

“There are many pet food companies though. Especially the large ones…”

“Team Leader Hong’s ideas all involve you, apparently. That’s why I’m mediating in this matter.”

Though curious about what ideas these might be, there was something else to ask first.

“Is it really okay to select a vendor this easily just because I seem suitable for broadcasting?”

“Team Leader Hong has never been this enthusiastic before. When a capable person works well, we should support them.”

Her confident answer momentarily confused Joo Seung-ha. What was her position in this again?

“Please don’t misunderstand, but Assistant Manager Shim, you’re speaking as if…you’re a decision-maker…”

“While I’m not the decision-maker, if I step in, the company will easily approve it.”

“Why?”

She smiled at Joo Seung-ha’s innocent question.

“I’ll just let you know that my mother’s family has connections with the company’s owners.”

“I…see.”

Joo Seung-ha barely managed to suppress an impressed “Wow.”

“And I brought Team Leader Hong into the company. He’s talented, and I’m barely keeping him here using my connections. So I want to give him whatever he wants.”

“Aren’t you making decisions too personally?”

“You’re right, there has to do with personal interest. But after investigating, your company’s products look good too. Can’t both reasons count?”

“I don’t know how you plan to use me, but you might regret it if I don’t meet expectations.”

“I won’t.”

Assistant Manager Shim’s smile faded as she lowered her gaze. Her voice grew quieter.

“Thank you. For letting me know about her.”

“You would have found out eventually, even without me.”

“No. Without this coincidence, I wouldn’t have had the courage to even look for news about her. I would have just stupidly held onto those times while continuing to never go against my parents’ wishes.”

But now that that wasn’t the case—this nuance made Joo Seung-ha look at her with concern. It was slightly frightening to see someone he’d only met a few times seem to have their life changed in such a short period of time. Did I wrongly pass on information to someone who was living well?

“Assistant Manager Shim…”

“Don’t worry about it. I still won’t go against my parents’ wishes. Well, I’ll just live life differently than before.”

“…”

“So let’s proceed with this project, and I’ll pass your contact information to Team Leader Hong so you can set up a meeting. He’s a good person. He’s kind.”

The praise sounded strange, as if she were introducing a potential partner to Joo Seung-ha, but right now those words didn’t fully register.

“I have something to attend to, so I’ll go first. Contact Team Leader Hong if you have any questions.”

She checked her watch and tried to stand, but Joo Seung-ha couldn’t easily rise. So he impulsively asked her as she was getting up.

“Are you really okay?”

Assistant Manager Shim stared into space for a moment before tilting her head to one side.

“I’m not sure. This is the first time I’ve felt this way.”

“You mean feeling this sad?”

“No. Feeling that I can change.”

She turned her gaze away shyly and added.

“Love is amazing. Even though I’m such a coward, it’s making me change.”

Perhaps embarrassed at having shared too much about herself, she left with a slightly reddened face. Joo Seung-ha couldn’t leave right away and watched until she disappeared before turning away. Though they’d only met a few times and wouldn’t likely meet again, it felt like she would remain unforgettable for a very long time.

And her final words bothered him. Changed because of love. A face came to mind. Someone who had denied and refused to acknowledge that he had changed because of love. When he took out his smartphone, there was one more new message from Seo Ahn-jae.

[I miss you.]