OL Ch 36

Basically, Mookyeong didn’t believe Kim Hayun’s words. Of course, as Kim Hayun said before, if he didn’t believe him, he shouldn’t believe anything, but he couldn’t do that either.

When he heard Kim Hayun’s words while facing him or hearing his voice, they sounded quite plausible. But on the other hand, when he couldn’t hear Kim Hayun’s voice or see his face, the flaws in his words became apparent. Kim Hayun lied often.

He mixed truth and lies so that it was impossible to know what was true and what was false. Of course, Mookyeong filtered what he heard. He listened to what Kim Hayun said about Kim Heewon and filtered out their relationship.

The old relationship that he heard from Kim Hayun was often absurd. That he carried him on his back, that he carried his bag. He was using shallow tricks because he had lost his memory. Perhaps he was saying these things so that he would get used to the story and then try to get something out of it.

After all, Kim Hayun, who had lost his ability, was nothing special. He wasn’t good at studying or martial arts, and although he was taller than his peers, he didn’t seem like he would keep growing. He would soon be overtaken by those who were just starting to grow.

He boasted that he was so outstanding before losing his ability that his mother was amazed, but the actual evaluation was just average. So when he said he would stop rehabilitation training, no one around him really stopped him.

Even if he was nothing special, there was a huge difference between having psychic powers and not having them. Then was Kim Hayun hanging around him, a psychic, because he couldn’t forget the past?

Looking at Kim Hayun, who was busy eating, Mookyeong suddenly thought of something similar to him.

‘A leech.’

That was exactly what he looked like.

Leeches are disgusting even when they’re still, but they’re many times more disgusting when they’re swollen. Because they clung to someone’s body and sucked their blood to their heart’s content. Mookyeong imagined crushing a swollen leech in front of Kim Hayun.

“Go now.”

“…..”

“I said go.”

“…I haven’t finished eating yet. I’ll go when I’m done eating.”

As if he didn’t care what he said, Kim Hayun continued to eat. The sound of the spoon moving was busy, but the food decreased slowly. Mookyeong leaned back and closed his eyes tightly.

Then, a little later, Mookyeong got up and saw that Kim Hayun’s rice bowl had not decreased much. It was clear that he was stalling for time. Mookyeong sighed softly and, with an expressionless face, picked up a side dish plate and flipped it over onto Kim Hayun’s soup bowl. The side dishes on the plate fell onto the soup.

“What are you doing? Don’t do that! Hey!”

“…..”

Mookyeong poured a few more side dishes into the soup in the same way, then reached back. Using his telekinesis, Mookyeong took out a new spoon and started mixing Kim Hayun’s remaining rice into the remaining soup. Pushing the side dish plate away and sitting on the table, Mookyeong used his telekinesis to press down on Kim Hayun’s legs, shoulders, and arms so that he couldn’t move.

Crash—

The spoon that fell from Kim Hayun’s hand rolled on the floor.

Mookyeong grabbed Hayun’s chin with his hand.

“Open up. You said you didn’t want scars on your face.”

“…..”

Kim Hayun looked up at Mookyeong without a word. But Mookyeong didn’t back down. He blocked both Hayun’s nose and mouth. Hayun, who was out of breath, exhaled heavily between his palms, but he couldn’t push Mookyeong’s hand away.

When Kim Hayun struggled under his hand and his face turned red, he finally took his hand away. When Kim Hayun was gasping for breath, Mookyeong grabbed his chin again. Mookyeong pushed the spoon with rice into Hayun’s open mouth.

Less than half of it went in, and the rest fell out. Hayun choked on what went in and spat it out. But Mookyeong didn’t care. He kept pushing rice into Hayun’s mouth until the soup bowl was empty.

“You can go now.”

When the bowl was empty, he moved all the dishes on the table to the sink. After lightly wiping the table, Mookyeong started washing his hands. Because he had touched Kim Hayun’s chin.

He thought Kim Hayun would rush at him as soon as he released his telekinesis, but he was surprisingly quiet. Kim Hayun didn’t get up from his seat and glared at a corner of the kitchen with reddened eyes. Then, when Mookyeong finished washing his hands and turned around, he asked in a choked voice.

“Do you hate me that much?”

At Kim Hayun’s question, Mookyeong snorted. He was asking something so obvious.

“Yes.”

Mookyeong threw Kim Hayun’s backpack onto the table. The backpack slid across the table and fell into Hayun’s arms. Kim Hayun reflexively reached out and caught the backpack. Then he hugged it tightly as if it were a lifeline.

“Then what can I do to make you hate me less?”

The moment he heard Kim Hayun’s words, Mookyeong felt something hot rising from within him. What should he call it? Anger? Or contempt?

“Bring Kim Heewon here without a single scratch on him. Then I’ll stop hating you.”

Yes, that would be enough. Then he would have no reason to hate Kim Hayun. He would no longer deal with Kim Hayun.

After ‘that day’, Mookyeong lost not only his parents but also □□. His memories were jumbled, and he didn’t even know what he had forgotten. In such a situation, it was a great relief that he still had common sense.

Then Kim Hayun appeared. And he told Mookyeong about □□ he had lost. He thought this might be a blessing in disguise. Until he found out that Kim Hayun came to him without saving □□.

Of course, Kim Hayun, who had insignificant abilities, wouldn’t have been able to find Kim Heewon even if he went to him. Moreover, the Labyrinth’s door opened in the middle. He knew that Kim Hayun made his own choice at the time, but there was a difference between knowing with his head and feeling with his heart.

Sometimes he felt familiar with Kim Hayun being mixed in his daily life. At times like that, Mookyeong felt like Kim Hayun had taken the place of all the beings he had lost.

Loss, anger, despair, sadness, and a sense of revenge that didn’t know where to go, were directed at Kim Hayun, who was the only one who understood his situation and shared his sadness. He knew it was just a way to vent his anger, but he couldn’t stop. Perhaps it was because Kim Hayun was shamelessly taking it.

It didn’t matter if it was petty. Mookyeong just couldn’t stand hating Kim Hayun. In particular, his presence irritated Mookyeong’s nerves just by being there. No matter how far away he was, he was like a being that didn’t blend into the world, standing out unnaturally, making it impossible not to feel him.

Moreover, Kim Hayun often scratched Mookyeong’s nerves, who had been suffering from lethargy since ‘that day’. It was amazing how well he could scratch them.

The incident from a while ago was just like that.

Loss eats away at the heart, and an eaten-away heart weakens the body. That day, Mookyeong felt the signs of a rampage. But it wasn’t that severe. Mookyeong contacted the school and chose to self-isolate while wearing a measuring device.

Then he suddenly picked up his phone and unknowingly pressed the call button. He didn’t know why he did it. He didn’t remember, but it was clear that it was a behavior ingrained in his body. He was surprised to see who he had called and hung up, but when he saw that name, he wanted to hear about Heewon.

Because he missed him so much.

Barely holding back, Mookyeong lay down on the sofa. He didn’t want to be alone in his room. Before falling asleep, Mookyeong thought of the moments he had with □□. He couldn’t remember anything properly in his mixed and blurred memories.

He just remembered how their legs tangled under the thin blanket, how they held hands. And the voice that called him softly. Of course, it just came to mind as a muffled sound that he couldn’t identify as anyone.

While he was overwhelmed with longing and felt that everything in the world was sad, Mookyeong dreamed of □□. It was dark in front of him, so it was unclear whether it was Kim Heewon or not, but he knew that it was the person he had been longing for.

Ah, I found you. I found you. I finally found you.

Mookyeong shouted with joy. But unlike his joy, only strange sounds came out. But it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that he had found □□.

As relief washed over him, sorrow and anger surged.

‘Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for so long. Do you know how worried I was that I lost you? In the meantime, a strange guy tried to take your place, but I didn’t budge.’

Mookyeong hugged □□ tightly. Even though he was holding him, he was afraid that he would disappear.

‘You can’t go now. I won’t let you go anywhere now. I was so scared. And I’m still very scared. That you’ll disappear again.’

Mookyeong confessed his fear. This also came out as a muffled sound, but what did it matter? Mookyeong hugged □□ tightly so that he couldn’t run away. □□ let out a whiny complaint about the discomfort but nuzzled their face against his shoulder as if seeking comfort.

‘I can’t help it. I’ve endured it for too long.’

But it would be okay now. It was enough to endure today. Now that □□ was back, things would gradually get better.

‘Ah, I’m so glad. I’m so glad. It was really terrible.’

The moment he muttered that it was really terrible, the sound was vivid, unlike before. His heart sank. Mookyeong hurriedly opened his eyes.

“…Huh?“

There was a face that shouldn’t be there. Kim Hayun. The moment he repeated his identity in his mind, he felt like all the blood had drained from his body along with chills. Surprised, Mookyeong kicked Hayun, whom he had been holding so earnestly, as if to shake him off. But he was just as dazed as if he had been kicked himself.

His head was throbbing, and his heart was pounding. Perhaps because he was so surprised, his body was trembling. Only then did Mookyeong realize that he had been dreaming.

‘Fuck.’

Mookyeong quickly spread his energy to check for people in the house. But all he could feel were Kim Hayun and himself.

When he realized once again that he had been hugging Kim Hayun, thinking he was Kim Heewon, shame washed over him. His face was burning, and he couldn’t speak properly. He felt like he had been crushed like a bug.

‘What the hell did I do? What the hell.’

Mookyeong roughly wiped his face. There were so many things he didn’t know, what he had done and why Kim Hayun was here.

‘I thought I found him.’

He thought he had finally found him, but it was just a dream. As the daze wore off, anger began to rise. From hugging Kim Hayun, mistaking him for Kim Heewon, to Kim Hayun entering his house without permission.

Mookyeong barely managed to ask Hayun why he was here. Kim Hayun went on and on about the reason, but it didn’t enter his mind.

He wanted to get rid of Hayun right away.

He tried to drag him out by pulling him roughly, but Kim Hayun resisted fiercely. Mookyeong wanted to tear Kim Hayun to death. He reached for his neck several times, but strangely, he couldn’t grip it. The best he could do was to grab his collar and pull it so that he couldn’t breathe.

After barely getting him out, Mookyeong was tormented by the overwhelming humiliation. And the hatred, sadness, and loss that had grown even more gnawed at him.

As much as he missed Kim Heewon, he hated Kim Hayun. If Kim Heewon couldn’t come back, he wanted Kim Hayun to die too. But contrary to his wishes, Kim Hayun was perfectly fine, loitering in front of him as if nothing had happened.

But when Hayun asked if he hated him, he spared the words that he wanted him to die. It was because he was afraid that he would be provoked by the words he spat out without context, without reflection, as if to vent his anger, and die.

Kim Hayun was devoted to him, but when he talked about Heewon, he had no qualms. He couldn’t find any guilt or longing.

Kim Hayun had to be sorry until Heewon returned to his place. It was natural because he was by his side instead. If, just if, Heewon couldn’t come back, then he had to feel the weight of the sins he had committed and end his life.

Kim Hayun shouldn’t be happy. He shouldn’t feel joy. At least not in front of him. To Mookyeong, Hayun was already committing a greater sin than any sinner who had committed any sin. If it were before, he might have thought differently, but with the current Mookyeong, it was difficult to make a rational judgment about Kim Hayun.

He just hated him, and he wished for his unhappiness every moment.