PCL Ch 58

“… Student, student, wake up.”

My body was vigorously shaken. The voice in my ear was unfamiliar. I frowned and opened my eyes slowly. I saw dark blue pants. When I looked up, I saw the security guard bending over and staring at me.

“…”

My body was crumpled like a discarded tissue.

“Ugh…”

“Did you sleep outside? You can’t do this here. Did you also smoke?”

I got up while the guard was nagging. I was still groaning and half-asleep. I blinked slowly a couple of times before coming to my senses.

My body was bruised, and my entire body ached from being beaten by Lee Hyun-woo. My cheeks were a little swollen when I touched my face.

The previous night’s events came to mind. I hit my older brother in the head and ran away while fighting with him. Then, while sniffling and wiping away my tears on the bench, I ran into Lee Hyun-woo, with whom I had gone to elementary and middle school, and we fought.

To be honest, I was worried about coming across as a weakling in the fight and losing as soon as possible, but it was a long fight. The fight was a complete mess. I grabbed a handful of Lee Hyun-woo’s hair, kicked him hard on the thigh, ripped the zipper off his jumper, and threw it somewhere on the ground. And just as I was about to hit Lee Hyun-woo on the cheek like he did to me, he kicked my shoulder. He ran away with his friends, leaving me on the ground, and calling me a crazy bastard. I think I won, but it was a bitter victory. I lay on my back on a bench alone, wiping away tears, touching my cheeks, sniffling, and closing my eyes. I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but when I lay down, I fell asleep.

And morning came.

“Oh!”

I quickly reached into my pockets and took out my phone. The battery was out. What time was it right now? I need to get to school.

“U-uncle, do you know what time it is?”

“Now? It was past nine. It’s almost ten o’clock.”

My heart was racing as I heard the uncle’s words. Furthermore, because today was the day before the college entrance exam and a preliminary call-up day, it ended early. It would be pointless to go now… My mind was filled with complicated thoughts.

“I still have to go…”

I didn’t like being absent from school because of a quarrel with my older brother. Nobody could have predicted that I would become so messed up in one night. Even I had no idea.

It was easier than I expected to become a delinquent teenager. I suddenly considered what I would do once I finished school, but nothing came to mind. I thought it would be fine if I just ran straight to Dae-han’s house, but I also hated having to explain everything to Lim Dae-han. Anyway, I really have my own way.

***

“…”

The classroom was quite noisy when I carefully opened the back door and entered. It was most likely due to the teachers’ neglect of the class because they only had morning classes.

When I walked in wearing a mask I bought at a convenience store in front of the school, the noisy guys turned their heads toward me.

“Hey, Ki Young-hyun!”

Jung Ji-pil, who was sitting in the front, called me. I shifted my gaze to Jung Ji-pil, then walked to my seat.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

Lim Dae-han, who was sitting, called me. It was a good thing I was wearing a mask. I couldn’t explain the swelling in my face. When I left my house yesterday, I was beaten up. Of course, I hit him a lot too, but… Anyway, I deserved it because I was the one who hit him first.

“…”

I sat down after gently waving my hand to Lim Dae-han. I had to pretend to be sick. I had to say something when the teacher came.  To make it believable, I must cough several times beforehand. I need to go to the bathroom and wash my face first. I got up so quickly that it didn’t matter that I was lying down. Then I got out of the classroom, carrying a toothbrush and toothpaste from my locker.

I hurried to the bathroom to avoid bumping into anyone and took off my mask. My face was a mess. My mouth was open and dripping with blood. I closed my mouth tightly in case I made a crying sound and then squeezed toothpaste into my toothbrush. I felt relieved after brushing my teeth, thoroughly rinsing my mouth, and then washing my face.

The bathroom door opened just as I was about to put on the mask I had shoved into my pocket again.

“…”

“…”

Lim Dae-han was entering the bathroom when I ran into him. My eyes gradually widened.

Lim Dae-han spoke up hesitantly.

“I couldn’t contact you, so… I thought you came to school first, but… your face…”

Lim Dae-han, who had been rambling, tilted his head for a moment before striding toward me without hesitation. I clenched my finger around the mask I was holding. Lim Dae-han moved in closer and grabbed both of my cheeks, lifting them up. My shoulders ached as I tilted my head. It was difficult in any case.

“…What kind of bastard did this.”

I got goosebumps at Lim Dae-han’s words. His low voice has a tone I had never heard before. It wasn’t the arrogant, playful, and overbearing voice I heard when his friends came to play pranks.

“Tell me. Who did this.”

Lim Dae-han’s fingertips caressed my lips, cheeks, and the area around my eyes while whispering. But I couldn’t say anything. Lying didn’t suit my temperament, and I didn’t want to tell I was beaten up while I was out at midnight. It was because Lim Dae-han knew I would never go out again once I got home that evening.

“Ummm, that yesterday…”

Still, I lied. It was said that in a movie-like scenario, when the main character with the face of someone who has been beaten was asked by the person who cares about them, they would say fall down. Then once they know the reason they would move on. I didn’t intend to create such a dramatic situation, but I wanted to move on quietly for the time being. That was the main reason.

“I fell.”

“…What.”

“I fell and my face become like this.”

“…”

“Tell me quickly, who did it.”

Unfortunately, it did not work on Lim Dae-han. After all, it was just a movie or a tv show. Lim Dae-han had rough but gentle hands. But his expression wasn’t like that. While constantly touching my face, his lips and forehead were furrowed.

I liked such Lim Dae-han, however discussing the current situation was a little scary and uncomfortable for me. Even though he appears to be an adult, he was only 18 years old like me.

I was worried that if he discovered my older brother was aware of our relationship, he would become scared and leave. I had the same thought for a moment. Aside from my liking for Dae-han, it was scary. So I hoped that the current situation would pass. I just wanted to be as usual. As usual, where I was able to laugh, play a joke, and feel a lot of happiness with Lim Dae-han.

“…Can’t you just let it slide?”

“I can’t let it slide with your face like this.”

“…It’s not that bad.”

Perhaps Dae-han felt the same way. This may be why he didn’t say anything about himself. It was uncomfortable, and I didn’t like it. My mouth did not open easily when I saw Lim Dae-han’s face with a more pained expression than mine. My lips were pressed hard.

“I don’t want to talk about it, so let’s just move on. Just think I fell.”

Lim Dae-han’s expression became gloomy. His hand, which was holding my cheek, lowered slowly and gripped my wrist. Lim Dae-han’s hand trembled as it held my wrist. My heart was throbbing.

“… You’re supposed to be honest.”

I felt like a bad person. But there was one thing Lim Dae-han did not say to me. He didn’t tell me that if he attends a career class, he must go to another school. I also heard it from another person.

In the end, we were back at the beginning.

I looked down for a moment. Lim Dae-han loosened his grip on my wrist.

“Am I… bad?”

I said it with my head raised up. It was the same for you, Dae-han-a, but this relationship was also difficult for me. You said that you only look at me, but I also only care about you. I barely swallowed the words that had reached the back of my throat by squeezing my dry mouth.

I bit the tender skin on the inside of my upper lip. Lim Dae-han bowed his head. His stature, which was ordinarily too huge to handle, appeared small at this time.

***