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    Loves Balance

    I felt a pleasure greater than an orgasm even without coming. It was a novel and ecstatic feeling, like a newborn life basking in the full spirit of spring. My body, having reached a dry climax, began to tremble uncontrollably. The inside of my entrance, which was biting the alpha’s thing, also moved busily, chewing on the flesh that filled it. Pleasure covered my entire body. I floundered, drowning in the deep sea of pleasure. As if all the climaxes I had ever felt were mere child’s play, it completely sank my body. My insignificant body struggled, unable to escape the deep swamp presented by pleasure. The endless ecstasy erased even the last shred of reason that had clung on until the end.

    “Fuck.”

    He bit out a low curse. He increased the speed of his thrusts and removed the hand that had been blocking me. Water gushed from the opening of my urethra. It was a clear water, without the feel of viscous fluid. It spewed out like a fountain, pouring all over my stomach, my hips, my thighs.

    Without even realizing I had made a mistake during our act, I let out crazed moans. Even as he watched something other than semen pour out of my cock, Director Jang Taejin kept shaking his body as if he had lost his mind. He was getting more excited. Seeing what I had done, his eyes had gone completely wild. Every time his body slammed into me, every time his hips struck my buttocks hard, the stream of water would shoot up high and then fall, again and again. His act continued until no more water flowed out.

    “Heu-euk. Heu-eu, heu-euk. Heuk….”

    Only after there was nothing left to pour out did I wail. Reason, returning to the place a deep pleasure had swept through, belatedly recognized what I had done. Tears streamed down. A deep sense of shame bound my entire body. I was so embarrassed by myself for pissing while receiving an alpha’s body that I thought I would go mad. Even in this situation, the seething lust was cruel. The sexual desire that whipped up without stopping, even though I had come several times, was driving me crazy.

    “…”

    Director Jang Taejin’s movements stopped. For some reason, he had a dazed look on his face as he swept his palm over the water that had soaked my body. His unreadable expression soon became colored with ecstasy. As if stroking something precious, he swept all over the clear liquid I had poured out. He lowered his head. Fearing I would reek of piss, I trembled, and he buried his head in my trembling stomach and began to lick up what I had spilled.

    I writhed and shuddered. I couldn’t bear him licking the filth I had created. Electricity flowed through my entire body, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. My toes, curling and then uncurling, moved restlessly.

    “Ah-eu-eut!”

    Writihing, my body flipped over again. I buried my face in the rattan chair and sobbed, my shoulders shaking. He shoved his cock, which was on edge from not having come even once, into me. My body, which had gone crazy enough to piss itself, twitched its wanton mouth, eager to devour his thing.

    My insides bit down on his flesh, which stuck and then detached with a sticky sound. Not content with just biting, it clung tightly, sucking and pulling him in. My body was no longer mine. Nothing was going according to my will. My body, unable to adapt to either shame or pleasure, now betrayed its owner’s will and moved on its own. It cheered for the thrusts that hit deep inside.

    “Ah-heuk!”

    His lips, which had not opened except to spit curses until now, finally moved.

    “Who told you to come so lewdly on your own? Acting all demure and then squirting like a fountain, just where did you learn such a thing?”

    I couldn’t properly understand his words. I just stared up at him blankly with a hazy mind.

    He embraced me, who was too much of a mess to even answer. He bent his body, put his arm under my back, and pressed our chests together. My buttocks were completely lifted up, my waist bent as if it would break. He moved in and out of the tight space without restraint and nibbled on my earlobe. Without moving any other part, his body, thrusting only with his hips, was preparing to come. The throbbing, struggling flesh inside me made me realize that fact.

    “Lim Jaegyeong. Do you know this?”

    He let go of the earlobe he had been chewing on and whispered.

    “I have never knotted before.”

    His movements stopped. Inside my body, which had frozen as if in shock, his thing began to grow larger. As it increased in volume second by second, pressing against my insides, I froze, forgetting even to breathe.

    “Ah, no. Direc-, Director… it hurts, it hurts. It hurts… heut!”

    The swelling thing brought extreme pain. My lower parts were stretched so tight it felt like they would be torn apart. It grew large enough to completely block the entrance and pierced my insides. It was the place I had so desperately wanted him to enter.

    “Heu-ah-ah!”

    A scream burst out on its own. Tears filled my eyes from the pain that crushed the pleasure. My inner walls, which had been excitedly biting the alpha’s thing, grew quiet. A pain that shook my entire body like an earthquake spread through my flesh and gnawed at my body. My vision, which had been white, now turned as dark as pitch. It was agonizing, as if I had reached the border of death. His thing was getting bigger and bigger. It devoured the desire that had been boiling inside me and grew just as much.

    “Ah, no! No, Director!”

    A desperate voice echoed through the mountains. A series of breathless screams followed. My lower abdomen bulged along with the swelling sex organ. The swollen flesh, pressed by his heavy body, throbbed as if it would burst.

    “No! No! It hurts, Director, I can’t take it! No, Direc—heut!”

    It was instantaneous. A feeling like something inside me bursting, and his large, swollen cockhead broke through something inside me. The shock of the rupture shook my entire body. An uncontrollable emotion, neither pleasure nor pain, raged. As if swept away by a storm, my body drifted in the air. My mind went completely blank, my body swept away by a completely different stimulation, as if it were not my own.

    “Ah-ah…, ah!”

    Something hot flowed into the broken place. The fluid he spewed out filled my insides with a completely different feeling than usual. Like watering cracked earth and sowing seeds there, his sex organ, settled deep inside, moved busily.

    “Heut!”

    My waist, which had been tensed and lifted, dropped with a thud. He, who had soaked my insides with his own, stuck out his tongue like a beast and licked up my face. His thing, inserted tightly into me as if it would never leave, did not shrink in volume at all. His tongue, which had been licking me as if to mark his territory, delved into my lips. My movements, receiving his tongue that rushed in with a thick scent, gradually slowed.

    Breathing in his scent, I let go of the last of my consciousness. Cradling his thing, I drifted off to sleep.

    ⋆.˚🦋₊ ⊹

    It was a quiet forest. The bushes, tinged with blue or purple, swayed in the passing breeze. Listening to the singing of the chirping birds, I walked into it as if entranced. The grass that I stepped on softly with the tips of my toes rustled with a small sound. I sat in a flower bed gathered with pale purple flowers and took a breath. The sweet scent of flowers filled my lungs. I looked around at the pretty flowers and picked the two that I liked the most. I heard the sound of a stream from somewhere. Holding the flowers, I set off to find the sound.

    A clear valley, hidden by the green forest, appeared before my eyes. It was so transparent that the falling drops of water shone like jewels. Holding the purple flowers, I dipped my feet into the valley water. The lapping water enveloped my feet. I scooped up the white spray with my hands and then slowly laid my body down there. My hair got wet and the cold water seeped into my collar. I reached my hand towards the sky, which was completely dyed blue. A butterfly, having caught the scent of flowers from somewhere, landed on the back of my hand. I stared at the small creature flapping its blue wings for a long time. A swarm of butterflies flew towards me as I was lost in thought. They surrounded me, flapping their wings. They, too, came and sat on me. As if blessing something, they warmly enveloped my body.

    I opened my eyes to the sunlight pouring into the room. I reached out my hand and touched the soft bed, only then realizing that I was in a room and not a forest. It was too vivid for a dream, and I had thought I was really strolling through the forest. The feeling of the purple flowers in my hand and the butterflies that had sat on my body was still vivid.

    I sat up completely in bed. As I stretched, yawning, my body felt lighter than usual. It seemed I had slept very well during the night. Since I was naked, I put on the gown that was neatly placed on the bedside table and left the room with light steps. As I went down the stairs to go to the lower floor, a delicious smell brushed past my nose. I was just getting hungry, so it was a very welcome scent.

    “When did you come?”

    When I arrived at the dining area, Director Jang Taejin, who was spooning fried potatoes from a pan onto a plate, noticed me and spoke.

    “Just now.”

    He was about to add something, but I beat him to it.

    “Don’t say ‘Why didn’t you sleep more?’. You’ve already finished preparing the meal.”

    At my words, Director Jang Taejin looked a little surprised, but then he laughed. Seeing him, I laughed along.

    Director Jang Taejin placed the plate on the dining table. I took the hint and set the spoon and fork on the table. I sat across from him and picked up my fork. He poured me freshly squeezed orange juice. It was a drink that suited the light brunch. I said I would eat well and then cut the poached egg with my fork. The yolk flowed appetizingly over the moderately cooked pancake.

    “How’s your body?” he asked, serving me my share of vegetables from the salad bowl.

    “Very good. I think I slept soundly all night. My body feels even lighter today.”

    “That’s a relief.”

    I wondered why he was suddenly asking me this, and then I belatedly remembered that I had gone into heat last night. I had been soaked all over and clung to him. After that, I wasn’t in my right mind, so I didn’t remember the details. I only vaguely remembered being under him and being shaken for a long time.

    In an instant, my face flushed. Yesterday, I had clung to him, begging him to hold me, yet today, I was sitting across from him, eating a meal with an unconcerned face. My body had felt so refreshed in the morning, and the dream I had during the night was so vivid, that I had foolishly forgotten all about it.

    “Is there a problem?”

    Director Jang Taejin, who had glanced at my reddened face, asked casually.

    “No, it’s nothing.”

    I said it, flustered more than necessary. Embarrassed, I gulped down the orange juice next to me. Then I choked on it. I let out a rough cough, barely managing to cover my mouth with my hand.

    “Are you okay?”

    He shot up from his seat. Seeing him about to rush over and embrace me, I waved my hand at him. The food seemed to be firmly stuck in my throat, and the coughing wouldn’t subside. With tears welling in my eyes, I barely managed to compose myself.

    “I’m fine. I just choked, that’s all.”

    “Is it better now?”

    “Yes.”

    To hide my flushed face, I ducked my head low and continued with my meal. I couldn’t tell what the poached egg drenched in hollandaise sauce tasted like at all.

    ⋆.˚🦋₊ ⊹

    Time passed quickly, and soon we reached the end of spring. The world, preparing for summer, was full of life. The garden, which I had thought beautiful from the first time I saw it, had passed through spring, grown an abundance of green leaves, and become even more lush.

    Lately, I had been oversleeping more often, and I barely managed to lift my heavy eyelids, stretching as I looked at the scenery outside the window. Aah-heum. I kept yawning even as I got dressed and headed downstairs. Spring had already passed and summer was coming, so I wondered what this belated spring fever was. It was well past breakfast time, but the kitchen auntie had prepared a separate breakfast for me today as well, for the me who often overslept. I sat down with a slightly apologetic heart and picked up my spoon.

    “Why are you waking up so late these days?”

    “I’m sorry. I don’t know why, but I keep feeling so sleepy.”

    “Are you sick somewhere? Or maybe you’re not sleeping well.”

    “It’s not really like that….”

    The kitchen auntie had a worried expression as she placed a glass of water in front of me. If there was something wrong with my body, the family doctor would have probably let me know first. I ate well and slept well. I didn’t think I was seriously ill anywhere.

    “Are you going to the supermarket later?”

    “I have to.”

    “Around what time?”

    “As soon as Jaegyeong gets home from the library?”

    “Then I’ll be here around 4 o’clock.”

    “Alright, then.”

    The kitchen auntie answered bluntly as always and disappeared into the kitchen. Although she spoke in a less than welcoming tone, I could sense that the kitchen auntie enjoyed the time we spent going to the supermarket together. I, who didn’t have many memories with my mother, enjoyed spending time with her, grocery shopping and going around the sample corners. She, too, never refused me.

    After finishing my meal, I immediately got ready to go to the library. I packed my bag, left the house, and drove to the library. By now, I was quite used to driving, so much so that I could easily park not only at the library but also at the supermarket. I got out of the car and headed to the second floor of the library with a cheerful heart.

    As always, the library was deserted today as well. The man who always kept this place with me, whatever he did for a living, was typing on his laptop from a distance. I took out the necessary workbooks, opened my notebook, and focused on studying. Lately, I had been so sleepy that I had to doze off several times even while solving problems.

    When I felt I couldn’t take it anymore, I even went to the bathroom to wash my face. But the overwhelming sleepiness was unavoidable.

    “What on earth is wrong with me? I’m not a chick in the scorching sun. I doze off at the drop of a hat.”

    When I returned to my seat with my face all wet, the man in the distance was staring at me. It might have seemed strange that I kept going to the bathroom today. He should mind his own business. I ignored him, pretending not to notice, and focused on solving the problems.

    I don’t even know how I endured it, but it was already 3:30. I hurriedly packed the workbooks spread on the desk and left the library. If I left now, I would be able to get home by 4 o’clock. I leisurely turned the steering wheel and headed towards Director Jang Taejin’s mansion.

    Even though I arrived a little before 4, the auntie was already outside waiting for me. I took the shopping basket, put it in the back seat, and started the car with her in the passenger seat. It didn’t take long to get to the supermarket, which was not far from the house. I took the shopping basket from the auntie and headed to the food section of the supermarket.

    “Dumplings are on sale today! Try one before you buy! Buy three and get one free!”

    The promotional event salesperson waved at us as we passed by. Dumplings were being cooked on a sizzling, oiled pan. I, who could never just pass by a sample corner, dragged the reluctant auntie and moved with excited steps.

    “Welcome. Would you like one?”

    “Yes. Please.”

    The salesperson cut a well-cooked fried dumpling with scissors, stuck it on a green toothpick, and handed it to me. I took it and brought it to my mouth.

    “Eup!”

    Suddenly, my stomach churned and I felt a wave of nausea. In my panic, I covered my mouth and dry-heaved several times. It felt like my stomach was completely blocked, as if I had indigestion. My head was spinning.

    “Are you okay?”

    The auntie, who seemed more flustered than I was, asked anxiously. Once the nausea finally subsided, I took a deep breath and composed myself.

    “No, what’s going on? Did you eat something bad?”

    Wiping away the tears that had gathered at the corners of my eyes, I barely answered.

    “I don’t think so…. I was perfectly fine this morning….”

    “What? Then why all of a sudden? You always eat this stuff just fine.”

    “I know….”

    Even as I was talking to the auntie, my stomach kept churning. Unable to bear the nausea, I fled the sample corner as if running away.

    “Here, drink this.”

    The auntie handed me an ion drink she had gotten from a vending machine as I sat in the rest area. I took it and gulped it down. After drinking the cool beverage, my stomach felt a little more at ease. The churning feeling, like motion sickness, calmly subsided.

    “Do you want to rest here? I can do the shopping by myself.”

    “It’s okay. Let’s go together, Auntie.”

    “No. I’m not okay. If I take Jaegyeong out and you get sick, how am I supposed to face the Director.”

    “…”

    My heart grew heavy, worried that the auntie might be in trouble because of me.

    “So just rest here for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”

    The auntie, holding the shopping basket, walked away from me. I sat there, staring blankly at the ion drink bottle in my hand.

    ⋆.˚🦋₊ ⊹

    My stomach was still not feeling well by the evening, so I skipped dinner and stayed cooped up in my room. I lay still on the bed, deeply inhaling Director Jang Taejin’s pheromones, which I was now completely used to. Then I dozed off again. It was strange. Whenever I smelled Director Jang Taejin’s pheromones, my body would become languid and comfortable. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t sleep without smelling Director Jang Taejin’s pheromones.

    “…”

    Even after waking up, I wanted to feel his scent more, so I buried my nose deep in the pillow and tossed and turned. Then, thinking that something was wrong, I shot up. It was very wrong. I, who was so obsessed with Director Jang Taejin’s scent, and my body, which kept falling asleep at the drop of a hat, were clearly not normal, but I couldn’t figure out what was causing it.

    As I was retracing my steps to figure out where it had all gone wrong, I suddenly remembered my heat at the villa where I had spent time with Director Jang Taejin. My heart had been pounding since the car ride to the villa. My feelings had swayed back and forth like a reed in the wind. These symptoms usually occurred before a heat, and not noticing them at all was the source of the problem.

    That day, my body, which had been suffering through the heat without any medicine, was miraculously cured by my relationship with Director Jang Taejin. Even though an alpha had helped, it was suspicious that my body had improved this much. Could there have been something more that I couldn’t remember? Something that could instantly quell an omega’s heat cycle…

    Click.

    Deep in thought, I hadn’t even realized that Director Jang Taejin had returned home. I usually noticed his arrival when the garden lights turned on, but today, I hadn’t even noticed that.

    I scrambled to my feet and approached him.

    “You’re… here early.”

    He looked down at me with his usual impassive expression.

    “I heard you were sick.”

    “No, I’m not. I rested a bit, and I feel better now.”

    “What’s wrong? Why didn’t you call the family doctor?”

    “It wasn’t that serious.”

    His expression said he couldn’t trust my words. Only after I insisted several more times that I was really okay did his face soften.

    “Um… Mr. Jang.”

    I stopped him as he was turning to leave after our conversation. Since our talks usually consisted of him initiating and me responding, he looked at me with a curious gaze.

    “There’s something I want to ask you.”

    “Go ahead.”

    Even though I was the one who had stopped him to talk, I clamped my mouth shut as soon as he told me to speak. My mind was a chaotic mess. There was something I truly wanted to ask, but the words just wouldn’t come out.

    “It’s nothing.”

    I couldn’t bring myself to talk about the knotting, couldn’t dare to mention such a word to him, so in the end, I couldn’t say what I wanted to and just shook my head.

    “What is it? Tell me.”

    “It’s nothing. Really. It’s nothing at all…”

    “Lim Jaegyeong?”

    Perhaps I was scared. I couldn’t bring myself to speak, terrified of his answer, of the reaction he would show. And yet, a part of me wanted to believe. That it was nothing. That the change that had come over me was simply because I wasn’t feeling well; I think that’s what I wanted to believe.

    “Are you still not going to tell me?”

    “I’m sorry. Please just pretend you didn’t hear anything.”

    I shook my head once more. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he soon gave up and turned away. Listening to his footsteps heading toward the dressing room, I lay down on the bed. I buried my face in the pillow, which was deeply saturated with his scent. As if by magic, sleep washed over me. I momentarily forgot my complicated feelings and surrendered my body to slumber.

    My stomach was churning from the morning. I had the illusion that the bed was swaying as if I were on a boat, and then, just like at the mart yesterday, a wave of nausea rushed over me.

    I quickly got up, clamped a hand over my mouth, and headed for the bathroom. I grabbed the toilet and retched, but only bitter fluid came up from my empty stomach. After gagging for a long time and throwing up stomach acid, I managed to pull myself up. My body was trembling, having eaten nothing and constantly battling nausea. I rinsed my mouth and finally managed to take a step. Thinking I should probably rest at home today, I was crawling back into bed when a knock suddenly came at the door.

    “Jaegyeong. Are you awake?”

    It was the kitchen housekeeper. I gave up on lying down and turned my body toward the door.

    “Oh, you’re up.”

    “Yes.”

    The sharp-eyed housekeeper quickly noticed that something was wrong with me.

    “Jaegyeong. Are you sick? Is your stomach still upset?”

    “Well… it keeps happening.”

    “This won’t do. We have to call the family doctor.”

    “Please don’t. I’m sure it’ll get better if I rest…”

    The family doctor had been here for a routine check-up just a week ago. I didn’t want to call him back for something as simple as indigestion.

    “This isn’t right. I’ll go make you some porridge. It’s worse if you keep doing this on an empty stomach.”

    “Yes. Then, some porridge would be… Ugh!”

    Before I could finish my sentence, another wave of nausea surged, and I clamped my mouth shut and ran to the bathroom again. This time, not even bitter fluid came out. I just kept spitting saliva and flushed the toilet with a trembling hand.

    The housekeeper’s face was pale as she watched me emerge from the bathroom, a complete mess. She poured water from the bottle on the table and brought it to me. I took the glass of water and drank it weakly. Just from drinking a little water, my stomach started churning again.

    “Jaegyeong, by any chance…”

    The housekeeper, who normally spoke her mind without hesitation, began to speak very cautiously.

    “When was the last time you had your heat?”

    My eyes flew open. Unable to hide my shock, I stared at her.

    “Do you remember? When it was?”

    “That was…”

    Even without her asking, I knew. It was at the villa. More than a month had passed since my heat had come at the villa that day, but it hadn’t come a single time since.

    “……”

    Seeing me drop my head with a look of despair, she said nothing. It was clear she was thinking the same thing I was. With her standing in front of me, I couldn’t do anything. My mind was too much of a mess, I wasn’t lucid enough to do anything, so I just had to hold my breath and keep my head down.

    “Jaegyeong.”

    She called my name in a pitiful voice. I lifted my head, my eyes welling up with tears. I wanted to say no, that it couldn’t be, but her face as she looked at me seemed to be certain of everything already.

    “I don’t know anything yet. Nothing’s for sure.”

    “……”

    “So please don’t tell anyone. I’m begging you.”

    She nodded, replying that she understood as if letting out a sigh.

    “I’m going to step out for a bit. I have an errand to run.”

    As I said that, the housekeeper tactfully took her leave. I paced around the room, biting my nails, until the thought that I couldn’t just stay like this hit me, and I hurriedly changed my clothes.

    I drove the car to the library. I parked precisely in my usual spot and went straight to the second floor. I laid out my workbook and notebook as I always did. Nothing’s wrong, there’s nothing different from usual, I repeated to myself as I started solving the problems. Even as I read the long English passage, the words wouldn’t register in my head, so I just kept underlining things. Eventually, the spot where the pen had repeatedly passed became soaked in ink and even tore. I left my books on the desk, as if I were just going to the restroom like usual, and went outside. I recalled the pharmacy near the park and ran towards it. My body heaving, completely out of breath, I bought a test kit. Then I ran back to the library.

    “……”

    Because the library was at the far end of the park, more time had passed than I’d expected. Before heading to the open seating area on the second floor, I did my best to catch my breath and feign a normal appearance. I went back to my seat and looked at my workbook. I calmly began solving problems again, as if nothing had happened.

    I sat there anxiously, constantly glancing at the clock. I pretended to be working hard on problems that I couldn’t even solve. Only after more than an hour had passed did I get up from my seat. The test kit I had bought from the pharmacy was still in my pocket.

    I nonchalantly headed to the restroom. I went into the last stall, lowered the toilet lid, and sat down. I took out the test kit with a trembling hand. My hands shook violently as I tore open the packaging. Even while thinking it couldn’t be, my heart pounded so hard it felt like it would break through my sternum.

    I did as the instructions said. A line of moisture spread along the white stick. The liquid, having soaked all the way to the result window, created a red line. I couldn’t even blink as I stared at it. A single line appeared in each of the two result windows. Staring at the two clearly etched red lines, I blankly lost my mind.

    N-No way…

    I swallowed a scream into my cupped hand, afraid someone outside might hear. It was clearly two lines. Two red lines were firmly embedded in the result window. I blinked my eyes, trying to accept the unbelievable reality. I must have seen it wrong. Please, let that be the case… But no matter how many times I blinked, the result didn’t change.

    “……!”

    It was devastating. My mind was a complete wreck. It felt like my blood was boiling in my body, like my head was being shoved upside down into the ground. Pregnant. And with none other than Mr. Jang Taejin’s child, at that. It was an impossible thing, unless I was insane. It was something that should never, ever have happened.

    Heok. A gasp escaped me. I clamped my hand over my mouth again to keep my ragged breathing from being heard. My vision was shaking like crazy, but even so, the two red lines drawn on the white stick remained distinct. Tears welled up in my eyes. To think I was so confident, so arrogant that such a thing would never happen. With tear-soaked eyes, I confirmed the hellish result that my past self had created.

    My heart pounded painfully. A sharp throbbing somewhere inside my chest added to the ache. Like a sinner, I lowered my head and let tears stream down. Is this right…? Can I, can I… Does it even make sense for me to have Mr. Jang Taejin’s child? No matter how I thought about it, the only conclusion I reached was that it was madness.

    I sold my body to him for a price. Even if he’s been acting kind to me lately, that fact doesn’t change. He has a woman he’s going to marry. The daughter of some prominent politician, I heard. There’s no way he would be happy to learn about my pregnancy. I’m sure of it.

    ‘No. It’s not that I’m worried about what you might do, Jaegyeong. It’s just that it would be troublesome if you were to get pregnant.’

    Suddenly, Yeo Kyungmin’s words came to mind. Yeo Kyungmin might have been the one to deliver the message, but it was surely Mr. Jang Taejin’s will. He doesn’t move without Mr. Jang Taejin’s orders. Mr. Jang Taejin was worried that I might get pregnant. Didn’t he have the family doctor give me a check-up every month? Wasn’t he trying to monitor me because he was afraid I’d get pregnant, that I’d have an unwanted child?

    Unable to bear the agony, I clutched my head with both hands. What would Mr. Jang Taejin do if he found out? He has to get married soon. Would he want to accept the child? No. Absolutely not. The man I know would never accept this child. In that case, what would happen to me… to me and this child? What would happen to me, the mother of a child he doesn’t want…?

    ‘They say you’re living as some old alpha’s mistress, how can I stand it any longer.’

    ‘Mr. Jang Taejin, he has a woman he’s seeing. The only daughter of a politician you’d know, too. They come to our place regularly. You know what that means, right? It means they’re getting serious.’

    ‘He’s just toying with you. You’re the only one who’s going to get your body ruined and be thrown away. What are you going to do? What if you end up pregnant, what the hell are you going to do then.’

    Nam Gichul’s words surfaced in my mind. I had ignored Nam Gichul’s words so dismissively back then. I had scoffed, thinking I could take care of my own body. In the end… it had come to this. It turned out just as he’d said.

    Finally, the tears that had been welling up overflowed. I burst into tears, muffling my sobs. The deserted library was as quiet as a mouse. As if it were trying to conceal the sight of me crying in silence.

    ⋆.˚🦋₊ ⊹

    In the evening, Mr. Jang Taejin came home. For some reason, he had been coming home early lately. He still left the house at 6 a.m., but because he returned earlier than usual, the time we spent together had increased.

    “Have you eaten?”

    I asked him as he headed to the dressing room to change his clothes. Perhaps thinking I was doing something I hadn’t been doing lately, Mr. Jang Taejin stopped in his tracks and looked back at me.

    “Why are you looking at me like that…”

    “You’ve been acting very strange lately, Lim Jaegyeong. Are you aware?”

    “No. I haven’t been.”

    He studied my face intently. His gaze was like he was asking if I’d eaten something bad. Not wanting to arouse any more suspicion, I turned my head away. I wondered if I had made a mistake by speaking to him first.

    “Lately, you keep starting conversations first, and even asking if I’ve eaten.”

    “It’s just, you came home early. So I was curious if you’d had dinner.”

    His gaze still didn’t seem to believe my words. But he soon relaxed his expression and smiled gently. Though he hadn’t even changed out of his outdoor clothes, he sat down on the edge of the bed.

    “Come here.”

    He said, lightly patting his firm thigh. I bit my lip and hesitated for a moment before slowly approaching and sitting down. A large hand swept down my lower back. The gentle, brushing touch made my body go limp. With a complicated heart, I rested my cheek on his shoulder. I buried my face in his neck and inhaled his scent. My heart, which had been pounding wildly, quieted as if I had taken a sedative.

    “It makes me anxious when you do things you don’t normally do, Lim Jaegyeong.”

    “Why?”

    “Haven’t you heard the saying? That people start doing things they don’t normally do when they’re about to die.”

    I let out a small laugh. When he said things like that with a straight face, a laugh would burst out even though it wasn’t funny at all. He was blunt, had the coldest eyes of anyone, but would this alpha, who sometimes made me laugh with such silly jokes, still be able to do so if he knew I was pregnant? Probably not. I knew it, too. But despite that, other thoughts kept popping into my head. The arm he had around my waist was so strong, the hand stroking my cheek was so warm, that I kept wanting to turn away from the truth.

    “I’m much younger than you, Mr. Jang. Don’t say things like that.”

    I lifted my head. Looking down into his pitch-black pupils, I felt a whirlwind of emotions. I was carrying his child. I was carrying the child of this alpha who knew nothing. My heart ached as if I had swallowed thorns. I wish nothing had happened at all…

    “Then you kiss me first, Lim Jaegyeong. I won’t say things like that then.”

    I closed my eyes. I pressed my lips against his as he lifted his head towards me. I felt a warm, soft sensation. An act as sweet as his scent passed between our joined lips. Pressing our lips together, feeling each other’s scent, tangling our tongues—this time was so precious that I kept clinging to him.

    Throughout the kiss, his hand was kneading my ass. It was a touch that wanted something deeper. I pushed myself up from his thigh and propped myself up on the bed with my knees. I pulled my lips away and pushed him back. He looked a little surprised, but his expression soon softened as he looked up at me. Without a word, I climbed on top of him and lowered my head. I pressed my lips to his as they parted to embrace me, as if in a hug.

    “Doing things you don’t normally do again.”

    He caressed my face as I panted for breath after the kiss. The hand that had been lingering, stroking my cheek, moved to my slightly feverish lips. He traced my lips, which were moist from having been pressed against his for so long.

    “I want to do it. Let me.”

    “Lim Jaegyeong, you’re not very good at it.”

    “I’ll do well. I can do well.”

    I reached a hand behind me and caressed his center. Leaning to the left, the long shape nestled in his pants grew in volume with just a few strokes, its outline becoming distinct. I kept stroking it with my hand before unzipping his pants and pulling it out over his underwear. I trapped the thing, which was shaking its head violently as if it had a life of its own, in my hand and slowly rubbed it.

    “Haah…”

    He let out a hot breath. His scent, seeping out little by little, captivated my sense of smell. I lifted my body, which was on top of his stomach, and turned around. I brought the twitching thing close to my face and, holding it as if it were something precious, rubbed it against my cheek.

    I felt his body flinch. I opened my lips and took the glans, beaded with a clear dew, into my mouth. I gently rubbed the smooth, soft flesh with my tongue before lowering my head and guiding it deep into my mouth. I pushed it in until I gagged, then pulled it out. I stuck out my tongue and licked where saliva was trickling down. As I licked in a long stroke from the base to the top, the flesh, its veins thick and raised, shuddered. I held his cock with my hand and kept licking, shaking my head. The flesh, slick with saliva, glistened.

    “Uuungh…”

    His body squirming, he pulled off my pants. He pulled them down just enough to expose my ass and licked the revealed hole. Feeling the mass of flesh invading inside, I let go of what I was sucking and lifted my head. I arched my back and let out a moan. The more I did, the more insistent the movements of his tongue sweeping inside me became.

    “Keep sucking.”

    As if even a momentary pause was a waste, he spoke briefly and buried his mouth there again. I arduously lowered my head and took his cock into my mouth. Just licking wasn’t enough, so I tilted my head and sucked on the shaft. The thing, so hard that my teeth couldn’t have pierced it, squirmed. I moved my lips to the side, sucking his cock. Then I licked it again from bottom to top. The thing, longer than my face, bucked its body, begging me to suck it more. I tilted my head back again at the pleasure shooting up from below.

    “Ah…!”

    I turned my head to look at him sucking me. Lying down, he had lifted only his face and buried it between my ass cheeks, sucking the center. His handsome face was hidden, buried in my cheeks. His saliva and my slick mixed together, soaking the flesh of my ass. My hanging testicles were covered in the fluid. The sensation of the liquid trickling down the thin skin was vivid.

    I suddenly wanted to cry. The thought that I would never be able to share an act like this with him again was about to bring me to tears.

    “Stop… I want to put it in.”

    He pulled his lips away and looked at me, looking genuinely puzzled.

    “Why are you so in heat? Is your heat here again?”

    I shook my head no. To hide my teary eyes, I lowered my gaze and lifted my lower body. I straddled his center as if sitting on his knees. With my hand, I took his cock, which was slippery and thoroughly coated in my saliva, and lined up the head with my hole. The round glans slowly pushed into the hole he had so carefully moistened for me. To receive him deeper, I just sat all the way down. The alpha’s penis, piercing through me in one go, rammed its head against a place it could penetrate no further and twitched.

    “Aah…!”

    I threw my head back. A tear trickled down my cheek. I paused for a moment, feeling the vibrations inside me, then slowly began to move my body. I felt the inside of me kneading the massive piece of flesh. I could feel my insides moving on their own, devouring his cock, regardless of my own will.

    The full cock, snugly enveloped by the plump inner walls, was sucked in. I wanted to feel more of him. I tightened my insides, putting pressure on it. I used my swollen inner walls to caress his cock. A blissful moan escaped me. My painfully pounding heart kept making tears fall. I moved on top of him, scattering tears. I thrust my hips so hard the bed shook.

    “Aah, it feels good… It feels good, Mr. Jang…”

    I muttered deliriously while devouring the alpha’s cock on my own. Using the elasticity of the high-quality mattress, I moved even more dynamically. Every time the head of his cock pounded my insides, it felt like it would pierce my heart. Inside, I sucked his cock forcefully, and by moving up and down, I rubbed our flesh together. Tears kept streaming down. I just wanted to be split in two by his cock and die right then and there. No matter how much I tightened, no matter how much I rubbed my insides against his cock, the heart that had swallowed thorns wouldn’t get better.

    “Uungh, Mr. Jang. Good. It feels good, Mr. Jang…”

    I didn’t even know what words were coming out of my mouth. I just shook my hips like a madman. I don’t know what excited him so much, but he, who had been lying down and just watching what I was doing, sat up. Sitting up in bed, he grabbed my body. Just like that time when we were watching a movie, he held my torso and repeatedly slammed me down onto his cock and lifted me up.

    “Ung! Uungh! Hht, heut! Hht! Hht!”

    “Did something happen today? Did someone slip you an aphrodisiac? Why are you so desperate to suck cock.”

    From his voice, as breathless as his pheromones, I could tell how aroused he was.

    “Aah, do it more… More… Hold me deeper, Mr. Jang.”

    “I might break you at this rate. Can you handle it, Lim Jaegyeong?”

    “I don’t know. I don’t know anything like that. Hht!”

    “You keep saying you don’t know, so why are you begging for it like this.”

    He stood up, lifting my body with him. I was suddenly terrified that I would fall from him. He held my whimpering body, unable to do anything, and thrust like a madman. The sound of flesh slapping together was loud.

    “I feel like I’m going to fall. I’m scared… Hht!”

    “Do I look that weak in your eyes, Lim Jaegyeong?”

    “That’s not it. Ut! It’s not!”

    “Be honest. It feels good right now, doesn’t it.”

    “No, no. No…”

    “Your hole is saying otherwise, though?”

    Because I was on top of him, because we were having sex standing up, the force of him thrusting up inside me was even more intense than usual. I was the one who started it, I was the one who reached out first because I wanted to be held in his scent, but I just couldn’t bear the merciless movements. Tears fell endlessly. He supported my thighs, lifting and lowering me with his hands while simultaneously thrusting his hips up. His body weight added more force. His aroused cock was ramming into me as if to tear my body apart. I cried out. To endure the act, to endure my aching heart, I cried out loud. My erogenous zones, pressed and rubbed, vibrated. As if protesting that it couldn’t take any more, the trembling led me to my climax.

    “Ah-heut!”

    A white fluid arced through the air and fell onto the floor. While he pounded my insides, cum flowed ceaselessly from the head of his cock. I cried out like an animal and trembled. I reached a hand back and grabbed at whatever I could. His hair got tangled in my hand. My pelvis vibrated as I shot out white fluid. He bit back a low curse. He thrust the head of his cock deep into the inner flesh that was chewing and sucking on him and came right there.

    “Aeuung! Ah!”

    My moan was louder than his as he came. My body rippled gently as I took in the semen his cock spewed out. I held my breath and closed my eyes. As my eyelids sank, a tear plopped down. I let my hands, which had been pulling his hair, go limp. I rested my head on his shoulder and accepted the kiss he gave me.

    “Why are you being so pretty today.”

    He whispered to me after giving me a sweet kiss.

    “If you keep being like this, I won’t want to let you sleep. Baby has to sleep early.”

    I slowly lifted my eyelids. I stared intently into his black eyes.

    “I’m not a baby… I’m all grown up.”

    His thick lips pressed against my forehead and pulled away. His lips, approaching my ear, whispered to me one last time.

    “You’re a baby to me.”

    Our lips met again. I quietly closed my eyes.

    ⋆.˚🦋₊ ⊹

    It was almost 6 in the morning. He, who had only slept a few hours from holding me, finished getting ready for work and came out of the dressing room. I silently got up from my spot. I pulled the thin blanket over to cover my naked body. Mr. Jang Taejin was about to leave the room when he noticed me approaching him and stopped dead in his tracks. I had greeted him when he came home from work, but I had never been awake when he was leaving for work. That must have puzzled him.

    “Why are you up so early?”

    “I just woke up.”

    The sky at dawn was still dark, and the shadows that fell like shades seeped into the room. I moved closer to him. I took in the alpha, impeccably dressed in a suit, as if engraving him into my eyes. I moved my hand over his well-ironed collar. Cherishing the feeling at my fingertips, I kissed him lightly.

    “Have a good day at work.”

    He didn’t let go of his suspicious gaze. His eyes were asking what had been wrong with me since yesterday, but I pretended not to notice.

    “How am I supposed to go to work when you’re being like this, Lim Jaegyeong.”

    His whispering voice was low.

    “I don’t know if you’re telling me to go or not to go.”

    He muttered to himself and grabbed my waist. The strong pull probably made my back bend a little. I buried my face in his broad chest and inhaled his scent for a long time. It was a scent I didn’t know when I would be able to smell again. As if I could, I greedily breathed in the scent I wanted to keep in my heart forever and clenched my hands, which were resting on his chest.

    “Lim Jaegyeong.”

    I moved away from him. I shook off his hand that pulled me once more, more forcefully, and hid my trembling eyes. I just couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I lowered my head and said in a small voice.

    “You should go. You’ll be late.”

    Mr. Jang Taejin looked as if he was about to say something more, but his face hardened. He patted my head a few times, like one would a dog or a cat, and turned around.

    “I’ll be home early. Wait for me.”

    He opened the door. Watching his back disappear out the door, I muttered in the darkness. Thank you for everything. There was a time I hated you, but I was truly grateful.

    As soon as Mr. Jang Taejin left the house, I took a shower. I opened the bag I usually used when going to the library and packed several things inside. Lastly, I found a white handkerchief and went downstairs with it. I approached the kitchen housekeeper, who was preparing breakfast in the morning, and greeted her.

    “Ma’am.”

    The housekeeper, who was making soybean paste soup with lots of spinach, which I liked, was startled by my appearance and flinched.

    “Why are you up so early?”

    Fortunately, she didn’t say the words, you’re not even in a state to be moving around.

    “I woke up when Mr. Jang was getting ready for work in the morning. Oh, this…”

    I rummaged through my pocket and held out the white handkerchief. It was the handkerchief the housekeeper had given me when I was crying alone in Mr. Jang Taejin’s room. She was not one to not know what it was. It was just that she seemed a little flustered and stared at it blankly without taking it right away.

    “Thank you for that time.”

    As if snapping out of her thoughts, she took the handkerchief from me.

    “You’re going to the mart today too, right?”

    She looked up at me with slightly bloodshot eyes. Her lips trembled as she spoke.

    “Yes. I have to.”

    “I’ll come pick you up later. At 4 o’clock.”

    She didn’t answer. I asked one more time to get a confirmation.

    “It’s okay if I come pick you up at 4, right?”

    She, who had been staring blankly at the handkerchief I had handed her, finally nodded. I said I would see her later and walked away. I left the house without any lingering feelings. I drove to the library as usual. I put down my slightly heavier-than-usual bag in the open seating area. I took out my workbook and notebook from the bag and looked around. As expected, he’s there. The one man who always guards the library with me.

    I acted nonchalantly, not showing any sign that I was conscious of him, and solved the problems. While doing so, I placed my phone between my workbook and searched for various things. I tried to type as many miscellaneous things as possible into the portal search bar. Places and means of transportation that had absolutely no connection to me. I also searched for boat schedules. I had to leave as much useless information as possible.

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