PSY CH 37

That day, Jooyoung didn’t go back to Dohyun’s house. 

It wasn’t that he needed to prepare himself. After all, there was only one option.

“…I can’t do it right away.”

Even in the darkness, it was clear that Jooyoung’s cheeks were flushed. Dohyun thought he’d like to see that color in a brighter place.

“Do you need to do some preparations?”

At his playful tone, Jooyoung scrunched his face in irritation. In truth, Dohyun wasn’t completely ignorant about same-sex relations. After all, once you’re interested in something like that, you wouldn’t have avoided looking it up.

“Yeah.”

“…”

“Alright, you’d know better than I would.”

Dohyun crossed his arms and looked down at Jooyoung from the side.

“But I kind of want to learn quickly.”

“…”

“I hope you won’t dawdle.” 

Jooyoung let out a small hollow laugh and then stared straight at Dohyun.

“If you back out halfway, there won’t be a second time.”

“…”

“And promise me. You’ll delete all the videos.”

That much was nothing for Dohyun. He grinned and spoke. 

“Come when you’re ready.”

Jooyoung didn’t respond and turned away. Dohyun didn’t close the door until Jooyoung had gone down all the stairs. The light stayed on, illuminating Jooyoung’s steps for a long time.

“…”

Jooyoung curled his hand into a fist again. This convenience store was on the road leading out of town. It was such an inconvenient spot that he doubted it even got customers. Still, since the neighborhood was so small, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to be cautious, so he’d come here. But he hadn’t expected to run into someone who recognized his face.

“…Sigh.”

Jooyoung swallowed his breath and walked to the counter. The elderly man in the convenience store vest was frail, his movements slow and shaky. It took him quite a while to get to his feet. After finishing the transaction, Jooyoung stepped out into the cloudy sky. It looked like it was going to rain. The air smelled damp, like wet earth.

The overcast weather felt just like his mood, and Jooyoung couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sky for a long time.

***

The rain started pouring just after 8 p.m. Perhaps because the monsoon had ended and the weather had been clear for a while, many shops had already closed early, the strong winds and rain pushing them to do so.

Clang, clang, the windows in the hallway rattled loudly. As Jooyoung climbed the stairs, he turned around and stared at the darkened windows blankly. The city’s lights had dimmed earlier than usual, and the outside was darker than normal. It felt like the city had fallen asleep.

Jooyoung thought about the place he had left behind. Unlike Maeyang, Seoul was just as bright at night as it was during the day—always alive, always in motion, a city that never slept.

A place that gave no one a reason to leave.

But Jooyoung had to.

There was a reason he had to live like a mouse for the past year.

“Do you have a criminal record?”

The sudden voice in his mind made him clench his fist tightly. A warning light flashed in his head. There was no time to dwell on thoughts.

Jooyoung silently climbed the stairs, his footsteps echoing softly in the silence. Passing through the open security gate, he reached the front door on the 5th floor. He had gone through all sorts of thoughts on the way here, but now that he had arrived, his mind had calmed down.

Beep, a shrill doorbell rang, and soon the door opened. Dohyun had just showered; his hair was slightly damp at the ends. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just sweatpants. Standing barefoot in the doorway, he motioned with his chin for Jooyoung to come inside.

The air carried a subtle mix of shampoo and the comforting scent of home—an oddly gentle combination that didn’t seem to suit Dohyun. He used to smell like nothing but alcohol and cigarettes…

Click, the door closed. Only then did Jooyoung take off his shoes and step inside. Even though it wasn’t his first time here, it felt strangely unfamiliar.

“Do you need to shower?”

Dohyun, who had gone to the kitchen, asked. He took a mug and headed to the water cooler. As he moved, the muscles in his upper body rippled. Jooyoung had always known Dohyun was big, but seeing him without a shirt made the difference in their physiques feel even more pronounced.

“No, I already showered.”

Trying to ignore the pressure weighing down on his shoulders, Jooyoung turned away. It wasn’t hard to find the bedroom. Beyond the wide-open door, the king-sized bed was visible, and more importantly, he remembered having been here before.

But as soon as Jooyoung entered the bedroom, his body froze. He heard the sound of a mug being placed down behind him, and soon Dohyun entered. As the door closed, the sound of rain grew louder. 

“…”

Dohyun, standing behind him, started to make Jooyoung more aware of his presence. Jooyoung fiddled with the hem of his clothes and slowly turned his body.

“Ugh!”

Their lips met before he could even think that something was blocking his way. Dohyun cupped Jooyoung’s face with both hands and tilted his head deeper. Without any warning, his tongue parted Jooyoung’s lips, hot and wet. 

“Wait, ah!”

Just as Jooyoung tried to pull away, Dohyun lightly bit his lower lip. It wasn’t painful, but it was enough to startle him. Before Jooyoung could react, their lips locked again, deeper this time. The soft pressure of their lips brushing together awakened a strange sensation in Jooyoung.

He grabbed Dohyun’s arm, but pulled back in surprise at the unfamiliar texture. It wasn’t the bare skin that startled him. His skin was rough and uneven. Pulling away, Jooyoung looked closer, noticing that Dohyun’s arms were covered in scars.

“Your arm…”

But before Jooyoung could continue, Dohyun grabbed his arm and wrapped it around his neck, silencing him. Due to the height difference, Jooyoung’s heels naturally lifted off the ground. Their lips met again, and in the space between them, their tongues tangled, making a wet sound.

His thoughts about the scars quickly faded.

“Gasp. Gasp.”

“Gasp…”

Jooyoung set his feet down and leaned his forehead against Dohyun’s shoulder. The warmth left on his lips didn’t feel like his own. The sensation was too strange. To Jooyoung, Dohyun had always been a close friend, a younger brother he cared about. He had never once imagined they would have a relationship like this.

With his eyes closed, he could feel Dohyun’s heartbeat through their touching chests. Thump, thump. It was a strong pulse, as if shaking the earth.

Jooyoung straightened up from leaning against him and looked directly up at him.

“Promise me you’ll delete everything.”

“Let me see if you do it properly first.” 

The vague answer made him anxious, but having come this far, there was nowhere to retreat. Nevertheless, Jooyoung hesitated while clutching the hem of his clothes. It felt like there would be no turning back once he took off his clothes.

Dohyun sat down heavily on the bed and mischievously asked Jooyoung.

“Shall I undress you?”

Jooyoung frowned and then quickly turned his head away. Then he crossed his arms and removed his clothes. Whether from the cold air, he felt his body hair standing on end. As his clothes fell to the floor with a soft thud, Dohyun simultaneously grabbed Jooyoung’s wrist. Pulled by his strength, he stood in front of him.

“…”

“…”

Jooyoung was looking over Dohyun’s shoulder, so he couldn’t tell what he was looking at. Just then, an unfamiliar touch reached his waist. Reflexively, his body flinched.

At that, Dohyun removed his hand and rubbed his hands together to generate heat. When he seemed to think they were warm enough, he brought his hands back to Jooyoung’s waist. 

“Mmh…”

His thumb gently massaged his stomach. Sometimes following the defined lines of muscle, sometimes dangerously descending to where the belt buckle was. 

Then the hand that slowly came up soon grasped his chest. Jooyoung bit his lower lip. A dull pain blossomed in his chest. Despite there being no fat, the way he gripped his chest from below, as if sweeping upward, pulled at his skin painfully.

“Ah, it hurts.”

Jooyoung grabbed Dohyun’s shoulder and pushed him slightly. Dohyun raised his head to look at Jooyoung.

“Don’t touch me like that.”

He blinked a few times and then suddenly turned sour. Then he quickly removed his hand from Jooyoung’s chest. Perhaps seeing and actually touching a man’s body had made those feelings disappear? That might be the case. Jooyoung waited, harboring a faint hope.

“Then how should I touch you?” 

However, Dohyun asked in a sullen tone.

“…”

Jooyoung placed his hand near where Dohyun’s shoulder and neck met. Then he slowly moved his hand downward. Dohyun’s chest muscles expanded largely like a balloon. Passing the collarbone and reaching the chest, his fingers caught on the firmly erect nipple. As he lightly brushed against it, Dohyun took a deep breath.

“Like this.”

“…”

“Do you understand?”

As Jooyoung removed his hand, Dohyun simultaneously exhaled his held breath. For someone who was so skillful at kissing earlier, Dohyun now looked exactly like someone having sex for the first time. His pupils were trembling and his breathing was irregular.

“…Well, not that different after all.”

Dohyun muttered that and then grabbed Jooyoung’s waist, pulling him forcefully toward himself. Jooyoung braced both hands on his shoulders to keep from collapsing.

“Mmh…”

Dohyun’s thumb gently rubbed against the nipple. As it gradually hardened, he pressed down with his thumb, then rubbed again, steadily building arousal. Jooyoung could feel his body heating up.

Then, a hot breath brushed over the now-sensitive nipple.

“Wait, ah!”

Without warning, his nipple was sucked with force. Jooyoung’s upper body jerked forward as he urgently grabbed hold of Dohyun’s head.