PSY CH 53

Dohyun jerked his chin toward the direction of the room they were in before.

“Grab your phone and come out. We’re leaving right away.” 

Jooyoung, who had been standing blankly, shook off Dohyun’s arm that was holding onto him.

“Why?”

“…”

“Why are you taking me home?”

Dohyun couldn’t answer. His tightly sealed lips were full of stubbornness. But Jooyoung needed an answer. He felt like only then would he be able to make out the shape of the elusive thread he was grasping.

After a long silence, Dohyun exhaled into the air.

“Because I want to.”

His furrowed brow was tinged with irritation.

“I’m turned on now, but you said you wouldn’t do it if I didn’t wash up.”

His voice continued, sharp and irritable. 

“…”

The heart that had been pounding with excitement suddenly went quiet. A dull ache settled in his chest like a cold wind had blown between his ribs. The thread he thought he was starting to grasp dissolved into smoke and disappeared.

“Are you happy now?”

Jooyoung stepped back, avoiding Dohyun’s hand as he tried to grab his arm again.

“…I don’t want to do it today. I’m not doing it.”

A visible crack spread across Dohyun’s face. Jooyoung didn’t miss the moment and drove the wedge in deeper. 

“I said I’m not doing it. If you want to go home, go alone.” 

“…”

“And… watch your mouth in front of Hangyeol.” 

“What?”

Dohyun scoffed. Watch his mouth? That was absurd.

“I mean, don’t say anything weird.”

Jooyoung emphasized it again like hammering in a nail, then turned his back. Even after he left, Dohyun had trouble pulling himself together. Unbelievably, a sudden pang of sadness had clawed through him.

“…Shit.”

He ran his hand roughly through his hair. 

He was supposed to be the one in control of this relationship, the one calling the shots—so why did he have to feel the same way he did when they were younger?

It was always like this. Jooyoung was Dohyun’s closest person and, at the same time, the most distant. He would accept Dohyun’s ridiculous stubbornness, then act like nothing happened and coldly dismiss him. That dynamic repeated itself all the time. It was always Dohyun who had to read the room and tiptoe around Jooyoung’s unpredictable moods.

“He’s just someone I know.”

“Don’t wear stuff like that. It’s tacky. Makes me look weird, too.”

It got worse, especially when someone else was around—friends or family. In those moments, Jooyoung wouldn’t hesitate to pretend he didn’t know Dohyun or even spit out raw, cutting remarks.

However, when it was just the two of them, he’d go back to being his usual self. Indulging Dohyun’s stubbornness, chatting about this and that, laughing brightly. Like they were the closest people in the world.

Years of that had carved a deep trench inside Dohyun. The weight of it kept dragging him further and further down.

And the moment it finally broke wide open…

“Why are you sad even after your grandfather beat you like that?”

Dohyun knew he would never forget that innocent, uncomprehending gaze.

“…”

He brushed off his numb hand without much thought. His hardened face showed no emotion at all.

“Oh? You brought beer too?”

Hangyeol, who had been joking around with a now sobered-up Jooyoung, looked puzzled to see both soju and beer in Dohyun’s hands as he returned. Dohyun didn’t answer. He sat down and immediately started pouring himself a drink. The bitter smell of cigarettes clung to him, strong enough to make it clear how many he’d smoked.

“Hyung, do you want a soda instead?”

“I’ll drink beer.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to drink just to keep up.” 

Jooyoung didn’t answer and poured beer into his glass. Maybe it was the cold water he’d splashed on his face, or the earlier tension with Dohyun, but his mind felt clearer now.

“Anyway, Uncle Hansoo was totally stunned and just started running after the car—oh man, it was absolutely hilarious.”

“…”

“But Auntie just kept feeling anxious about leaving Uncle there. Like, seriously, way to kill the vibe,” Hangyeol grumbled as he idly rolled boiled peanuts around with his chopsticks.

“Still, thanks to you, hyung, I got to try something new. It was great.”

Hangyeol puffed out his chest proudly, saying he’d learned a lot from watching Jooyoung help Arin. His eyes sparkled as if seeking praise, adding that he had done a lot of self-reflection.

At that moment, thunk—Dohyun leaned back in his chair with a dull sound. He set his glass down on the table and flicked his eyebrows at Jooyoung.

“Mind pouring me a drink?”

His cold voice, strangely enough, held a faint trace of a smile.

Hangyeol instinctively looked at Jooyoung. Sure enough, the faint smile Jooyoung had worn earlier had vanished completely, his face now as cold as ice.

“Hwangdo, I’ll pour it. Have a drink poured by Hangyeol~”

Trying to lift the mood, Hangyeol quickly grabbed the soju bottle. But Dohyun brushed off Hangyeol’s hand in irritation. His unwavering gaze didn’t leave Jooyoung.

“Pour the drink.”

“…”

“Bae Jooyoung. You.”

Caught between the two, Hangyeol fidgeted awkwardly. He had told them to clear the air if there was any lingering tension, but it seemed the tension had only deepened.

“Hwangdo, are you drunk? Stop it. He’s older than us.”

“Older?”

“…”

“Oh, right. He is older than me.”

Dohyun’s lips curved gently.

“Then act like one.”

“…”

“Your younger brother wants to drink.”

Jooyoung set down his chopsticks with a sharp clack.

“If you want to drink, pour it yourself.”

At the cold voice, Dohyun tilted his head slightly and let out a short, cynical laugh, as if he had expected nothing less.

“Ah, now I really don’t feel like watching my mouth.”

He rolled his glass on the table, speaking with a meaningful tone. Hangyeol, clueless about the deeper context, looked between the two for the right moment to step in. What on earth had happened between them for Dohyun to speak to Jooyoung with such sharpness? 

Although Dohyun wasn’t exactly known for a sunny personality, he usually showed proper respect to those older than him. And Jooyoung, while a bit aloof, had a gentle side that people in this town didn’t often have. Maybe it was his tone, or the softness of his demeanor—but that’s how Hangyeol had always seen him, which made this all the more confusing.

“…”

Still silent, lips tightly pressed together, Jooyoung held out his hand to Hangyeol. When Hangyeol just blinked at him, Jooyoung said, “Give me the drink.”

“Ah, yes.”

Flustered, he handed it over, but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

Jooyoung poured soju into Dohyun’s glass, but he didn’t set the bottle down. He reached out to fill Hangyeol’s glass too, hoping to turn this insulting demand into a simple gesture of an older brother pouring drinks for his younger ones.

But at that moment, Dohyun raised his hand and blocked the glass. Startled, Jooyoung instinctively pulled his arm back, but it was too late. The soju spilled, soaking the back of Dohyun’s hand.

While Jooyoung looked stunned, Dohyun merely brushed off his hand and pulled a few napkins, wiping it dry disinterestedly. 

“Don’t do things you weren’t told to do.”

Even his voice was calm.

“…”

Jooyoung stared at Dohyun with a look that was hard to read. As the atmosphere grew heavy, Hangyeol quickly cut in.

“Hyung! Give it here! I’ll pour my own drink~”

He took the soju from Jooyoung and filled his own glass to the brim. Then, he clinked it against both Dohyun and Jooyoung’s glasses with a loud cheer. While Hangyeol fussed about how the drink tasted better with good company, Jooyoung didn’t take his eyes off Dohyun. Dohyun drank casually, as if nothing had happened.

“…”

There was always a reason behind someone’s actions. So why was he pressing Jooyoung like this, here, in front of Hangyeol? What for? Jooyoung’s mind was tangled with unorganized thoughts.

“Hyung said you lived in Maeyang when you were young, right?”

Hangyeol, trying to read the room, cautiously shifted the topic.

“What was Hwangdo like as a kid?”

Once, he hadn’t been able to hold back his curiosity about their relationship and had asked Jooyoung directly. Jooyoung had mentioned in passing that he used to live in Maeyang when he was little. It wasn’t a long explanation, but enough for Hangyeol to get the picture—that Jooyoung had crossed paths with Dohyun back then. 

“Was he just as heavy and broody back then too?”

Shared memories have a way of softening lingering tension. That’s what Hangyeol genuinely believed. 

“Huh? How was he?”

Dohyun crossed his arms, as if daring Jooyoung to speak. Jooyoung glanced down at the unused utensils in front of Dohyun and began to speak.

“He was just… kind.”

“Eh, you’re just saying that because Hwangdo is glaring at you, right?”

Hangyeol stuck out an arm to block Dohyun’s line of sight, encouraging Jooyoung to say whatever he wanted. 

“No, really.”

“Pfft. That can’t be. He’s such a jerk that everyone’s always walking on eggshells around him.”

“…”

“Do you have anything else than just ‘kind’?”

Looking at Dohyun’s relaxed posture, his chin lightly tilted, Jooyoung suddenly had the urge to get back at him. Maybe that’s why the words suddenly came out.

“A lackey.”

Dohyun’s eyebrows twitched.

“A… what?”

Hangyeol’s eyes widened in surprise.