PSY CH 59

He tried to cut in and stop him immediately, but it was no use. Joosung paid him no mind and was too busy saying what he wanted to say.

“So please take good care of him.”

“Is he sick? What’s wrong with him?”

Lightly tapping Dohyun’s arm, Joosung finally turned to meet Hangyeol’s eyes. His pupils darted quickly up and down, subtly scanning him. Noticing this, Jooyoung quickly stepped in to introduce Hangyeol in his place.

“This is Hangyeol. Dohyun’s friend. He’s a good kid.”

“Ah, right. Hangyeol.”

But Joosung continued speaking, still looking at Dohyun instead of Hangyeol.

“Mm, Jooyoung’s always been a bit weak since he was a kid. Dohyun, you know that, right?”

He scrunched his nose and lifted his arm to check his wristwatch.

“I should get going. My bus leaves soon.”

“…”

“Take good care of Jooyoung, all of you.”

“Yup!”

While Hangyeol responded loudly, Dohyun silently bowed in farewell. Joosung gave him another light pat and turned away with a smile. He handed two car keys to Jooyoung.

“Drive safe.”

“Just take a taxi.”

“The terminal’s right next door, what’s the big deal.”

Joosung waved a hand, motioning for him to go, and turned straight away. Jooyoung watched him walk toward the terminal with a displeased look.

“Hyung, hyung. Is that your car?”

Hangyeol pointed to the car parked in front of the building.

“It’s not mine… My brother just let me use it for a while.”

“Holy shit!”

Hangyeol practically danced with excitement, eyes gleaming.

“Can you take me for a drive next time?”

It wasn’t a hard request, so Jooyoung nodded. He understood why Hangyeol was so hyped—foreign cars like that weren’t unusual in Seoul, but in Maeyang, they definitely were.

“You promised, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Leaving Hangyeol grinning from ear to ear, rocking on his toes, Jooyoung looked at Dohyun. It was the first time seeing him since that day.

Dohyun had been staring after Joosung the whole time turned his gaze to meet his. His face was hard to read, as if he were uncomfortable or deep in thought.

“You…”

He started to speak, then quickly clamped his mouth shut. Just as he began turning to leave, Jooyoung impulsively called out to stop him.

“Hwang Dohyun.”

Dohyun immediately stopped and turned back.

When Jooyoung didn’t say anything after calling him, Dohyun looked puzzled and asked, “What is it?”

“Well…”

Truthfully, there wasn’t anything specific he wanted to say. He just kept wondering—was it something he said that day that made Dohyun cut off contact? Or were there feelings already built up before then? All those stacked-up questions remained tangled and unresolved. 

“Don’t half-ass pretending to care.”

Even now, Jooyoung couldn’t fully grasp the true meaning behind that barbed statement.

“…Never mind.”

So this was all Jooyoung could manage to say.

***

They moved to a karaoke room and began drinking in earnest. It wasn’t even 9 p.m. yet, but bottles were already piling up under the table.

“You two seriously don’t match at all.”

“Park Haedam, did you owe him money or something? Why the hell are you dating Gae Junwoo?”

Today’s drinking party centered around Junwoo and Haedam, who’d recently shocked their friend group by announcing they were officially dating.

“I honestly thought Park Haedam had something going on with Hwangdo.”

That’s when Seungmin, sitting at the far end of the U-shaped sofa, cautiously spoke up. Junwoo, who usually played coy while secretly enjoying attention, immediately scowled at the comment.

“There’s nothing going on between them.”

“Junwoo.”

Haedam tugged on Junwoo’s arm right away, but Junwoo brushed him off, saying, “Wait a sec,” and turned fully to face Seungmin. Despite hesitating, Seungmin kept talking.

“Didn’t you always sit next to Hwangdo when we drank…?”

“Hey, Seungmi. You seriously don’t have a clue, huh? Drop it already.”

Someone beside Seungmin lightly kicked him, trying to get him to stop.

“No, I just… It’s kind of weird that Hwangdo didn’t show up today too…”

“He’s on his way, dumbass.”

Junwoo clicked his tongue and tossed a tissue at him.

“And I asked Hwangdo first, okay? I’ve got some damn principles, you think I’d steal my friend’s girl or something? Shit.”

“Ooh, look at that, Gae Junwoo has morals now?”

The mood lightened again as they teased the flustered Junwoo. And just like he said, not long after, Dohyun and Hangyeol showed up.

“Hello, everyone! Hangyeol is here~”

The guys welcomed them, shifting to make room for them to enter.

“Wait, were you dragged here? What’s with your face?”

Sieun joked when she saw Dohyun’s stiff expression. Dohyun didn’t answer and just slumped into a seat with his hands still in his pockets. Sieun held out her palm.

“Give me your wallet.”

“…”

“What? You gonna lose it again?”

Dohyun took out his wallet from his back pocket and tossed it at Sieun.

“Yesss, I’m stealing from you.”

Sieun’s eyes sparkled as she pulled out some bills. Usually, Dohyun would have cracked a smile at this, but today he didn’t react at all. Sieun looked at him, puzzled.

“Are you sleeping well lately?”

Dohyun dropped his phone onto the table as if throwing it, then accepted the drink Junwoo poured for him. He glanced at Sieun, who spoke again. 

“You’re just not saying anything.”

“I sleep fine.”

“Well, that’s good, then.”

Sieun quickly lost interest and turned to chat with the friend beside her.

As the night went on, everyone kept drinking, quickly getting drunk. Dohyun also drank a fair amount, and at some point, a dull headache began to creep in. Pressing his brow with a knuckle, he grabbed his cigarette pack and lighter and stood up. Hangyeol, who had been having fun, suddenly followed him.

They smoked together near the glowing karaoke sign. Hangyeol cautiously spoke first 

“Do you think about Jooyoung-i hyung is sick? Like, is it just that he has a weak body or something? He didn’t look sick.”

“…”

“You don’t know either, huh?”

Just like Joosung said, Jooyoung had always been frail since he was little. Even minor exertion made him sick, and he often caught colds even in the summer. But saying he came down to Maeyang just for rest couldn’t be the whole truth.

“But… hyung seems kind of well-off, doesn’t he?”

Hangyeol whispered in a subtle voice. Dohyun, pretending not to care, flicked the ash off his cigarette and brought it back to his lips. The ash fluttered down to the floor, already littered with cigarette butts.

“I figured as much from how he dressed, but turns out he’s even richer than I thought. Damn, I’m so jealous. A Benz, man.”

Though they both grew up without financial worries, Hangyeol didn’t have a car yet, so he envied Jooyoung for suddenly having one. He even half-joked about asking for one himself, but Dohyun, lost in thought, barely noticed.

“It’s been a while, Dohyun. I’m Joosung-hyung.” 

Back when he used to visit Jooyoung’s house, he often spent time with Jooyoung;s family too. They shared meals, gave him rides—whatever it was, they always welcomed him warmly.

But Dohyun always felt small in those moments. It wasn’t the usual discomfort around a friend’s family. He wanted to be seen in a good light. He didn’t want them to see that he fell short compared to Jooyoung. He felt ashamed, constantly reevaluating himself.

“Take good care of Jooyoung, all of you.”

When he saw Joosung today, that exact same feeling came rushing back. Even though he had changed so much since then, it felt like nothing had changed at all. Like he was still lacking, still inadequate. It made him tense and uneasy. He could even feel his own voice and posture stiffen. He had let out a breath of relief only when Joosung smiled, seemingly satisfied.

“…Fuck.”

He rubbed his temples hard with his thumb and middle finger. The headache was only getting worse.

“I came out tonight because I really felt like drinking, but it’s not even fun. Should I just go home…”

Hangyeol, standing beside him, mumbled, “What about you, Hwangdo?”

Instead of answering, Dohyun angrily stubbed out his cigarette and turned back toward the karaoke room. 

“You’re staying?”

“…”

“Then I’ll head out first. Let the others know, ‘kay?” 

Stretching with a yawn, Hangyeol muttered to himself, “Should I call Jooyoung-i hyung?” Dohyun forced himself to keep walking, trying desperately to shut off his thoughts.

All the thoughts about Jooyoung that kept surfacing, all the miserable feelings of worthlessness—he hated it all.

His headache showed no sign of easing.