PSY CH 60

Bang, bang, bang!

Jooyoung, who had fallen asleep early, slowly opened his eyes to the loud noise coming from somewhere.

Bang!

There was another loud bang. It wasn’t just the sound—his body lightly shook as well. It was only then that he realized that the unfamiliar noise was someone banging on his door. Startled, Jooyoung sat up and stared at the door with a nervous gaze.

“Bae Jooyoung.”

A moment later, a familiar voice reached his ears. Jooyoung slowly got up from the bed. When he opened the door, he found Dohyun standing there, looking slightly different from usual. 

“You…”

“Why are you not picking up your phone?”

Dohyun asked, resting his hand on the door frame. The strong smell of alcohol made Jooyoung frown involuntarily.

“Were you with Jung Hangyeol?”

“What are you talking about, showing up like this out of nowhere?”

“I asked if you were with Jung Hangyeol.”

Jooyoung’s voice grew sharp in response to Dohyun’s pointed tone.

“I was sleeping.”

“…”

“And thanks to you now I’m awake.”

Dohyun scanned Jooyoung, dressed in loungewear, from head to toe, then shifted his gaze to the room behind him. The rumpled blanket clearly showed that Jooyoung had just been there.

“…”

“…”

A heavy silence settled between them. Though he was startled by Dohyun’s sudden appearance, Jooyoung quickly came to the most reasonable conclusion for why he would be here at this hour. He was a little groggy from being woken up, but not too tired. His decision didn’t take long.

“Go ahead first. I’ll change and come.”

“…Change?”

“This is pajamas.”

Dohyun just stood there blankly, as if he didn’t understand what Jooyoung meant.

“I said I’ll change first and go to your place.”

Frustrated, Jooyoung simply shut the door and changed clothes. Outside, there was no sound of movement. It seemed like Dohyun had finally understood and gone home.

But he was still there. When Jooyoung changed his clothes and opened the door, Dohyun was standing in the exact same spot as before. If the hallway hadn’t been dimly lit, Jooyoung might’ve been startled, thinking he’d run into a wall.

“What are you doing?”

“…”

“Are you really drunk?”

Dohyun raised a hand and ruffled his hair. The woven fabric of his anorak rustled every time he moved. Despite the sweltering night, he was still wearing long sleeves.

“…No.”

With that short reply, Dohyun turned around first. Jooyoung locked the door and followed behind him. Dohyun walked a few steps ahead, constantly glancing back at Jooyoung for no apparent reason.

Seeing his uncharacteristic behavior, Jooyoung was sure—even if it wasn’t as bad as that time on the stairs—Dohyun was definitely drunk.

As always, the lights were bright in Dohyun’s house. Jooyoung headed straight for the bedroom, but Dohyun didn’t enter. Instead, he lingered awkwardly by the door.

“Go wash up.”

“…”

“Hwang Dohyun.”

Dohyun turned his head to the left and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. Jooyoung couldn’t tell if that had any meaning or if he was just being stubborn because he was drunk. Still, he spoke firmly again.도

“If you don’t wash up, we’re not doing anything.”

Only then did Dohyun step into the bedroom.

“…Don’t leave.”

Just before entering the bathroom, he said something completely out of the blue. Don’t leave? If he were planning to leave, he wouldn’t have come here in the first place.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Even so, Dohyun didn’t lose his sulky expression.

“If I come out and you’re gone—”

“Why would I come here at all if I was just going to leave?”

Still uncertain, Dohyun kept staring at Jooyoung until he finally closed the bathroom door reluctantly. Not long after, the sound of water started.

“…Sigh.”

While Dohyun was showering, Jooyoung collapsed onto the bed. The ceiling light was so bright it hurt his eyes. He turned to his side and closed them. Whether it was because the bed was soft or because he’d just woken up, a wave of drowsiness washed over him. So he didn’t notice when the water stopped, then started again. He didn’t know Dohyun was listening for signs outside.

Jooyoung drifted off and only woke up when he felt unfamiliar fingers in his hair.

“Ah…”

He slowly blinked as he realized he had fallen asleep. The first thing he saw was Dohyun, sitting beside him with one hand resting on the bed.

“Go back to sleep.”

Dohyun brushed Jooyoung’s hair back with a rough hand, like one would gently push aside a child’s bangs. His rounded forehead and drowsy, bright yellow eyes were quietly revealed.

“…No.”

Jooyoung rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up. But just as he tried to sit up, Dohyun gently pushed him back down.

“Just sleep.”

And that wasn’t all. Dohyun suddenly pulled back the covers and lay down beside him. Raising an arm to cover his eyes, it seemed like he actually intended to sleep there.

“What are you doing? Are you trying to sleep?”

Jooyoung asked, but there was no response.

Wondering what on earth this situation was, Jooyoung assumed Dohyun must just be drunk and tired. He decided to head home. But the moment he shifted his body, Dohyun turned his head and, with the back of his hand resting on his forehead, said in a low voice, “You’re not going to sleep?”

“…I didn’t come here to sleep.”

“…”

“I’m leaving.”

Dohyun sighed deeply and scrubbed his face roughly with both hands.

“Just count it as if we did it, and stay the night.”

It wasn’t about sex—he just wanted him to sleep there. And saying he’d count it “as if they did”—none of it made any sense.

Then, a memory flashed through Jooyoung’s mind.

“Can you at least wait… ‘til I fall asleep?”

The hesitant voice, the firm grip on his wrist that wouldn’t let go. And the eyes that only closed once he heard Jooyoung agree to stay.

The urge to leave quietly began to fade. In the end, Jooyoung lay back down on the bed.

“…If we’re sleeping, turn off the light.”

Without a word, Dohyun got up, turned off the bedroom light, and closed the door. A faint sliver of light from the living room bled through the door crack, but it wasn’t bothersome. 

The pillow smelled faintly of soap—a soft scent Jooyoung sometimes caught on Dohyun. A trace of it would linger, even behind the faint smell of sweat.

In the silence, only the rustling of the blanket could be heard. Just a moment ago, Jooyoung’s eyelids had felt heavy, but now he was wide awake.

“Why did you come back from Seoul?”

That raspy voice rang low through the dark.

“It wasn’t because you were sick, right?”

Faced with the very topic he least wanted to deal with, Jooyoung instinctively tensed. His hand, clutching the bedding, curled inward like a mimosa leaf. 

“You don’t need to know.”

Dohyun let out a short laugh.

“Anyone else would think you’ve lost it. What the hell are you hiding that you’d go this far?”

He must not sleep with a shirt on, because after the shower, all he wore was a pair of training pants. Even now, his bare upper body lay beneath the blanket.

“…You’re hiding something too, didn’t you?”

Dohyun turned his head toward him.

“What am I hiding?”

Instead of words, Jooyoung responded with an eye gesture. Following his gaze, Dohyun gave a baffled scoff.

“I never hid it. I just don’t want to satisfy your petty curiosity.”

Petty curiosity. The mocking tone behind those words wasn’t light.

Dohyun closed his eyes and then reopened them as he stared at the ceiling. His expression, once playful, had gone cold and still.

“Why did you drink so much?”

At Jooyoung’s calm question, Dohyun looked at him again. His eyes, darker than the surrounding night, glinted faintly.

“Can’t I?”

Jooyoung suddenly thought he was sulking. Maybe that’s why his own heart softened a little.

“Are you really that curious about why I came back?” 

“Yeah.”

Dohyun’s answer came quickly. 

“What kind of mess did you leave behind?”

“…”

“So you really went to prison, huh?”

Jooyoung turned his whole body toward him. Startled by the sudden gaze of those bright yellow eyes, Dohyun flinched. It felt like an invisible snare had wrapped around his body.

After a brief silence, Jooyoung finally spoke.

“Just keep pretending you don’t know, Dohyun.”

“…”

“Don’t half-ass trying to figure it out.”

As he said that, Jooyoung smiled. Like someone playing a trick and secretly laughing about it. His dimple deepened and a soft wrinkle formed on the bridge of his nose.

“You’re not gonna take responsibility for me anyway.”

He was mimicking something Dohyun had once said. Realizing this too late, Dohyun scowled sharply, but Jooyoung’s smile only widened.

A smug grin lit up his small face like he had scored a point. His usually sharp, sulky eyes curved into soft crescents.

In that moment, Dohyun couldn’t move at all. Faced with Jooyoung’s genuine smile—something he hadn’t seen in a long time—he was frozen, helpless

“…”

A sweetness filled the once-empty void in his chest. It was just sleep, no intimacy, and yet this moment flooded him with a deeper satisfaction than any physical connection ever had.

It filled and overflowed. The sound of that emptiness being quenched, as if his long-standing thirst was finally being soothed—terrified him.

Because now he felt like he finally understood what he truly wanted.

Because he knew he was about to face the desire he had buried and denied for so long.

And it chilled him, like someone had poured ice water over his entire body.