PSY CH 68

Jooyoung looked around the room shrouded in darkness. Dohyun usually kept his house brightly lit, but when Jooyoung was around, he tended to leave the lights off. Ever since Jooyoung once commented that it was too bright, he had kept it that way. 

His strength had loosened, but the rough hand still grasped his wrist. Just like how his attitude swung back and forth—irritating one moment, showing vulnerability the next.

“If that’s what it is…”

Jooyoung quickly made up his mind.

“Fine, I’ll stay over.”

Dohyun’s eyes widened in surprise.

“So if you did all that ten times or whatever just to make me stay, don’t do that. Instead, just say you want me to stay,” Jooyoung spoke bluntly, annoyed that Dohyun would go to such lengths instead of simply asking.

“Can you let go now?”

Dohyun flinched and hurriedly released Jooyoung’s wrist. He had held it so tightly that the pale skin had turned red.

While he stayed in a daze, Jooyoung pulled the blanket back over himself and lay down. He squirmed a bit, then closed his eyes.

“…”

Dohyun couldn’t quite believe what was happening. He knew how uncomfortable Jooyoung felt sleeping anywhere other than his own place. But when he was drunk, those things slipped his mind—and he insisted on making him stay anyway.

But this time, the reason he asked Jooyoung to stay over was because he genuinely wanted to check if Jooyoung had some form of sleepwalking. It wasn’t about his own inability to sleep alone.

“If you’re going to kick me out, say it now.”

Jooyoung suddenly spoke with his eyes still closed.

“…I won’t.”

Dohyun muttered in a defeated tone and lay down beside him. The ceiling he saw every day somehow felt strangely unfamiliar.

“If your insomnia is that bad, take meds.”

The tone was dry, without concern, but there was no denying it was said for Dohyun’s sake.

It felt strange, like receiving a gift at a completely unexpected moment—a gift so unbelievable that even while opening it, you weren’t sure it was really yours.

Dohyun stared intently at Jooyoung’s closed eyes. Listening to his steady breathing, watching his unmoving eyelids, he slowly began to accept the situation.

Come to think of it, Jooyoung had always been like that. Aloof and sometimes even cold, but he would reluctantly give in to Dohyun’s stubbornness. He always acted like he wouldn’t, but in the end, he gave way. It was a kind of kindness that Jooyoung didn’t offer easily to others.

“…”

As soon as he realized it, his stomach churned. It was so intense, he felt like he might throw up. Dohyun clenched his teeth. His jaw trembled. 

He was angry. Angry that just when he was about to give up, Jooyoung would offer him a sliver of warmth like rain after a drought. Angry that even after almost ten years, he still felt the same way he did back then.

For a moment, Dohyun wanted to burst into tears. But contrary to his emotions, his dry eyes remained arid, as if his tear glands had already emptied completely. 

***

The lodging house was noisy from early morning, likely due to a deep cleaning. Since the place was usually quiet, like a temple, the sound of the vacuum felt especially loud. Jooyoung debated a bit, then picked up his car keys. He figured he might as well go to a café on the outskirts.

As he opened the door and stepped out, he spotted Sunwoo thoroughly cleaning a corner near the entrance. When he saw Jooyoung, he smiled and said.

“Ah, sorry, it’s really loud, right?”

Jooyoung figured the comment was because he saw the car keys and was about to explain he’d been planning to go out anyway. But suddenly, the door next to the office burst open, and a man with an agitated expression wedged himself between them.

“How long is this cleaning gonna go on! I can’t even sleep because of the damn noise!”

He raged, saying he was dead tired after getting home from a late-night shift and asking if Sunwoo wanted to start a fight. Sunwoo quickly turned off the vacuum and tried to explain the situation to him. But the man wasn’t listening—he was too busy yelling whatever he wanted to say.

After a long back-and-forth, he randomly complained that Sunwoo’s tone was unpleasant and suddenly threw out a crude insult before slamming the door shut.

“Shit, guys are so disgusting.”

He even shot Sunwoo a dirty look as he went.

“Huft…”

Sunwoo shook his head and let out a sigh. Then, as if he were confiding in a colleague, he turned to Jooyoung with a knowing look.

“You get those kinds of comments, too, don’t you?”

“…”

“The women here don’t say stuff like that, but the men always have to throw in some remark.”

He whispered like he was revealing a special secret, saying that’s why he was so glad when Jooyoung moved into the lodging house.

“They think sounding tough makes them more manly or something.”

Jooyoung agreed to some extent and gave a polite nod before heading out.

As he turned down the path to the parking lot on the left side of the building, he heard a familiar voice. Dohyun was talking to a woman.

“I swear, I’m never drinking again. If I do, I’m truly a dog. A dog.”

The woman spat thickly on the ground as she smoked. Her makeup was smudged and her hair a bit messy, like she’d been up all night.

“But seriously, you haven’t called me at all lately, huh?”

Just as Jooyoung turned the corner and entered the lot, his eyes met Dohyun’s. The woman had her back turned, so she didn’t see Jooyoung.

“It seems like you’re sleeping well these days. You used to say you couldn’t sleep without doing it.”

She joked as she brought the cigarette to her lips and nodded playfully. Pale smoke rose into the sky. When Dohyun didn’t answer for a long time, she said, “Oh, no way,” and extended her hand holding the cigarette.

“Did you call someone else?”

“…”

“Who is it?”

The woman pressed curiously, repeatedly saying, “Oh, who is it? Come on, tell me! Who are you seeing?” urging him for an answer. Then, she noticed Dohyun’s gaze shifting to something behind her and quickly turned around. As soon as she spotted Jooyoung, she gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

“…”

Jooyoung continued on his way as if he hadn’t seen anything. He knew the two were watching his every step, but he ignored it.

Behind him, he faintly heard the woman whisper something to Dohyun.

“That person—”

Jooyoung unlocked the car with the smart key and got in. From the driver’s seat, he could see the woman and Dohyun more clearly across from him. The distance between them was very close. Dohyun usually treated his friends from a higher vantage point, as if looking down on them, but he didn’t do that with her. There was no indifferent gaze, no half-hearted attitude.

Trying not to care, Jooyoung deliberately looked elsewhere. When he started the engine, the heavy sound rumbled as the dashboard lit up. He entered the café’s address he’d looked up earlier into the GPS and stepped on the gas.

Even as he exited the parking lot, Dohyun’s gaze never left the car.

***

A sedan pulled into the parking lot, now shrouded in deep darkness. Dohyun, who had been sitting on the curb smoking a cigarette, quickly stubbed it out when the car he’d been waiting for finally appeared. Soon, the headlights turned off, and Jooyoung stepped out of the car.

Seeing Dohyun looking in his direction, Jooyoung paused.

“…”

“…”

It was clear Dohyun had been waiting for him, but now that they were face to face, he couldn’t bring himself to move. Awkwardly, he ruffled his hair while staring into the void. When Jooyoung abruptly turned to leave, Dohyun hastily called out, “Wait a second.” Thankfully, Jooyoung stopped and turned back.

“Earlier, this afternoon…”

“…”

“Did you hear it?”

When Jooyoung just stood there blankly, Dohyun rubbed the back of his neck in frustration and sighed, “I asked if you heard what she said.”

“Yeah, I heard.”

Jooyoung replied in a flat tone before Dohyun could say anything else.

“Why?”

Why was he asking after suddenly grabbing him like that? But Dohyun couldn’t answer—his lips just moved without sound. In the end, it was Jooyoung who spoke again.

“Is she your original bed partner?”

Dohyun’s face hardened instantly.

“…What did you say?”

“I mean, from what I heard, it kinda sounded like it.” 

Jooyoung gave a small smirk. There was a biting sarcasm to it.

The day before, Sieun had drunk too much and ended up sleeping over at a nearby friend’s place. She dropped by to see Dohyun, partly because she had something to pick up from him. They were sharing a smoke after exchanging the item when Jooyoung happened to show up in the parking lot. Of all times, it had to be while Sieun was talking about that very topic.

The thought wouldn’t leave Dohyun alone. He kept picking up and putting down his phone. Eventually, on a whim, he came to the parking lot—and not long after, Jooyoung returned. Just as he feared, Jooyoung had heard Sieun’s comment. 

Dohyun suddenly panicked.

“But I haven’t been with anyone else since I was with you.”

He blurted it out while grabbing Jooyoung again. He didn’t even know why it sounded like an excuse, but once he said it, it was already out.

Jooyoung’s aloof eyes blinked slowly. That brief moment felt unbearably long to Dohyun. 

“I’m telling truth.”

“…”

“Since being with you, I haven’t been with anyone else—”

“Haah.”

A sigh cut off Dohyun’s words coldly.

“So what?”

“…”

“So what? What do you want me to do with that?”

The sharp reply confirmed that Jooyoung was angry. The pointed glare and the way his lips were pressed in displeasure, that was definitely Jooyoung’s ‘pissed off’ face.

“I just… thought maybe you’d misunderstood something…”

It had been before they got involved like this, so technically it wasn’t Dohyun’s fault. Jooyoung had no reason to be upset. But still, Dohyun stumbled over his words, trying to explain while gauging Jooyoung’s expression. 

Then, suddenly, Jooyoung let out a mocking chuckle.

“Dohyun, are we dating?”

At that blunt question, Dohyun froze with his mouth half open.