PSY CH 76

Dohyun thought Jooyoung would obviously be annoyed. They had just been arguing, and Jooyoung’s expression while looking at Hangyeol hadn’t been pleasant either. There was no way he’d tolerate Hangyeol being clingy.

But then Jooyoung did something unexpected. He stared this way for a moment, then suddenly turned to Hangyeol and asked, “Should we?”

“Yes!”

Hangyeol immediately nodded with a brightened face.

“It’s okay, right, if I go to eat with him?”

Jooyoung looked up at Dohyun as he asked. His voice was plain, as if there was no hidden intention. It felt like Dohyun was the only one not following the flow of the situation. Hangyeol answered in his place.

“Of course it’s okay! Come on, let’s go!”

Excited, Hangyeol pushed gently on Jooyoung’s back.

“How good are you at cooking ramen?”

“Once you eat mine, you won’t want anyone else’s.”

“Liar.”

“It’s true, I swear. I’ll even put in two eggs just for you, hyung.”

Chatting warmly, the two quickly passed Dohyun and went inside.

“…”

Dohyun felt disoriented by how strangely things were playing out. When he had tried to stop Jooyoung from leaving earlier, he’d gotten such a lukewarm response. But now Jooyoung was showing a completely different attitude to Hangyeol. It’s not like Jooyoung particularly liked ramen either.

He stared blankly at their backs until Jooyoung looked over and their eyes met. Was it just his imagination? For a split second, Jooyoung’s eyes flashed, like a camera shutter going off.

“Come over here.”

Jooyoung smoothly turned his body and pulled Hangyeol to walk beside him. When their eyes met, he even smiled faintly. A pale hand gripping an arm, gently crinkling eyes, slightly visible teeth—all of Jooyoung’s gestures toward Hangyeol seemed to unfold in slow motion.

Before he could even think, Dohyun’s body moved on its own.

“Ah!”

Striding forward, he grabbed Jooyoung’s arm in one swoop. He didn’t care that Jooyoung’s light frame swayed from the sudden force. The only thought in his mind was that he had to create distance between the two.

“Hwangdo!”

Hangyeol called out urgently in surprise, but Dohyun didn’t hear him. He just stood there, gripping Jooyoung’s arm tightly. It had all happened before he could even think about what he was doing. He hadn’t even noticed he was panting slightly.

“What is it?” Jooyoung asked calmly. When Dohyun didn’t answer, lips clamped shut, Jooyoung glanced down at the arm Dohyun was holding.

He’d definitely get angry. Jooyoung usually hated it when Dohyun used force on him, so just pulling his arm like this should’ve been enough to provoke his temper.

“Dohyun-ah, do you have something to say?”

But Jooyoung didn’t get angry. He simply looked at Dohyun with an observing gaze and waited for an answer, not hardening his expression. That clear difference from usual left Dohyun feeling unsettled.

“…What exactly are you trying to do right now?” His voice was hoarse, like the growl of a cornered animal. “Why are you all of a sudden…!”

“I just said I want to have some ramen.”

“…”

“Am I not allowed to do that?” As he said that, Jooyoung tilted his head slightly. There was no irritation or anger in his eyes either. It wasn’t a trick of the light—his amber eyes genuinely sparkled like stars.

Everything about this was incomprehensible. Why Jooyoung had been watching him so intently earlier, why he was smiling now, and why that smile seemed so utterly satisfied.

It felt like being transported back to childhood. Constantly gauging Jooyoung’s mood, anxious as he watched Jooyoung look everywhere but at him.

Dohyun clenched his jaw.

“…Yes, you are not allowed to do that.”

Jooyoung seemed genuinely surprised by the answer, as if he hadn’t expected Dohyun to say that.

“Come on. I’ll take you back.” 

“What?”

The grip on his wrist was unrelenting. 

“Ow!”

What was this, a sudden reversal after asking if he could stay over just earlier? Jooyoung scoffed at the inconsistency, but Dohyun ignored him completely. His steps as he dragged Jooyoung toward the front door were firm and unwavering.

“Hwangdo, Hwangdo! Why are you acting like this again? Calm down, will you?”

Hangyeol fidgeted anxiously, trying to calm him. 

“I mean, didn’t you say you two were good now?”

But Dohyun didn’t care what he was saying behind him. He slammed the front door shut as if to prove it.

Even though the lodging house was only two floors down, it felt impossibly far. Though his hand held Jooyoung’s wrist, the grip felt like holding sand, so unstable that he kept tightening it without meaning to.

When they arrived, he opened Jooyoung’s room with the master key. Then he shoved Jooyoung’s slender body inside as if throwing him. The careful touch he had treated Jooyoung with like delicate cracked glass over the past few days was nowhere to be found.

What Dohyun thought as he watched Jooyoung in agony was simple: How can I ease his anxiety? He didn’t feel satisfied at uncovering a new vulnerability, nor did he have any intention of using it against him. Jooyoung might have been doubtful, but Dohyun truly meant it.

Yes, that’s how it was.

“…Get some rest.”

He turned away with a hardened expression.

“Are you mad?”

Just as he was about to leave, Jooyoung shot out the question from behind him. Dohyun froze, hand still on the door.

“You’re mad. Aren’t you?” Jooyoung repeated the question, as if trying to drive the wedge in a little deeper.

“…”

Dohyun looked down at his hand, clutching the doorknob. The veins were raised sharply across his knuckles—anyone could tell he was suppressing his anger.

It was true.

When they were chatting so warmly, when Jooyoung casually grabbed Hangyeol’s arm, Dohyun was angry. It scratched at his nerves like an itch under the skin. He had been so irritated that he couldn’t stop himself from acting on impulse.

This had happened when they were kids, too. Jooyoung would always leave him to go play with someone else. Even if they were together, he’d run off the moment someone called for him. Dohyun always made Jooyoung his top priority, but it was never mutual. And that always hurt. Sometimes, he’d get mad, sulk, or cry and openly express his feelings to Jooyoung.

Back then, they were just kids, and that was okay. It was normal to get jealous and greedy for a friend’s attention.

But now?

Are Bae Jooyoung and Hwang Dohyun still just friends like back then?

“Why are you angry?”

Jooyoung stepped closer. In the dark, his amber eyes glimmered again. That glow held the certainty of someone who knew exactly why Dohyun was upset.

Dohyun swallowed without thinking. For some reason, he felt threatened. A rising anxiety crept up, like something was about to be taken from him. He couldn’t hold Jooyoung’s gaze and looked away.

“…Please, go to the hospital.”

In the end, he chose to avoid the topic.

“You still have a fever.”

Leaving those words behind, Dohyun hurried out of the room. As the door closed, silence wrapped around him. The surroundings were so quiet that the pounding of his own heart echoed loudly in his ears.

“Shit, this’s just… haah…”

Dohyun roughly rubbed his face. His flushed skin and freezing cold hands mirrored his disoriented state. His eyes darted everywhere, unable to focus.

***

Left alone, Jooyoung stared at the closed door before dropping onto the bed with a soft thud. He slumped over without any resistance. Dohyun’s scent still lingered faintly in the air. Jooyoung raised his hand to his lips. As expected… the sleeve covering half his hand smelled like Dohyun. A thick, personal scent mixed with unfamiliar fabric softener.

“…Ah.”

A chuckle slipped through his lips. The image of Dohyun looking completely lost made him laugh.

He had provoked Dohyun on purpose. He’d hoped Dohyun would break and show his emotions. Jooyoung took in every physical reaction without missing a beat, desperately trying to discern whether it was simple jealousy toward a friend or something stickier, more passionate than that.

And the answer was…

Just then, the medicine packet on his desk caught his eye. In that moment, the thrill drained out of him like a bucket of cold water dumped over his head. What remained was the fear that he’d given in to impulse.

He pressed his lips with chilled fingertips. Even after swallowing repeatedly, his mouth stayed dry.

“…I just need to take the meds.”

He gnawed on his lower lip before shooting up to his feet.

“Yeah. That’ll fix it.”

Muttering to himself, he tore into the pill pack with hurried hands. Even after downing it with water, his unease didn’t go away. He cracked the window open to let in fresh air, hoping to breathe easier. Then he sat on the bed, leaning against the wall.

Car horns, students yelling curse words down the street—scattered bits of noise filled the stillness.

One by one, the real-world problems he’d been avoiding came back to him. The missed calls from his mom and Joomin. The pawnshop. He couldn’t keep it closed forever. Avoiding their calls couldn’t go on, either. 

He hadn’t failed yet. There was still a chance to prove himself.

Jooyoung decided to open the pawnshop tomorrow. To return to his routine as if nothing had happened. But to do that, he needed a solid weapon to keep his secret safe. 

He kept replaying the look in Dohyun’s eyes—burning hot—and the strength in the way he’d gripped his wrist. If Dohyun could protect his secret, Jooyoung was sure he wouldn’t make another mistake.

It never occurred to him that what he was doing might be outrageous. That’s how desperate he was—there was no space to think about anything else. His focus narrowed, as if that one thing was the only answer left.

“…”

Jooyoung pressed his lips into his sleeve. As Dohyun’s scent hit him again, the anxiety began to slowly ebb away.