PSY CH 82
by Lulu“What… what is that…?”
Dohyun didn’t even realize he was stuttering. The shock hit him like the ground beneath his feet had crumbled.
“See?”
“…”
“Pretending not to know. Acting like it’s nothing.”
Jooyoung stretched out his foot and nudged the limp, heavy mass of flesh. The tip twitched, then it slowly began to swell again, as if it had never gone soft. It hardened in an instant, the darkened head rising, causing Jooyoung to let out a small laugh.
“Who does this kind of thing with a friend?”
His soft sole pressed down against Dohyun’s erection.
“Kh…!”
Dohyun groaned and urgently grabbed Jooyoung’s ankle.
“This is…!”
Pulling it off by force wasn’t hard, but as Jooyoung’s foot slid along his shaft, Dohyun gasped, folding forward helplessly. His back muscles tensed like spreading wings, and his thick thighs flexed in response.
“Damn it…”
Dohyun clutched the slim ankle in his hand, trembling uncontrollably. Hot breaths burst out of him, vision flickering in and out. Honestly, he was barely holding himself back. If he didn’t, he felt like he’d end up using Jooyoung’s foot to get himself off.
“Ah…”
Jooyoung curled his toes and gently teased the head. As he pressed down, a dizzying pleasure struck Dohyun right in the temple. Dohyun clenched his eyes shut, and before he could stop himself, he came.
“Kh…!”
His vision flashed white like a burst of lightning, and only after a while did it slowly return. Panting, he stared blankly down at himself. The first thing he saw was Jooyoung’s foot, covered in his release. Milky white fluid ran between the slightly reddened toes.
“…Bae Jooyoung.”
He was clearly being toyed with… but somehow, seeing Jooyoung soaked in his cum filled him with a strange sense of satisfaction. It was murky and sticky—far too complex to be written off as a simple obsession over a friend.
“Who does this kind of thing with a friend?”
He knew it too.
Who in the world coerces their friend and uses their weakness to get physical?
However, Dohyun was confused. Every time he looked at Jooyoung, a whirlwind of emotion consumed him, and he couldn’t clearly define how he felt.
He hated him, pitied him, then hated him so much he wanted to hurt him—
“Even though you like me.”
A cold, matter-of-fact voice cut through his thoughts.
“…”
Dohyun slowly released Jooyoung’s ankle, which he had been gripping, then lifted his head that had been hanging low. Jooyoung, wearing an oversized coat that clearly wasn’t his, stared straight at him.
Upturned cat-like eyes, bright yellow irises glinting in between. There was nothing warm or kind about that face, and yet every time Jooyoung looked at him like that, Dohyun’s heart fell apart with no defense.
But that wasn’t love. It was just lingering attachment to the person who had given him all his “firsts.” It wasn’t some sweet or innocent feeling like liking someone.
“Ha… damn it, what the hell.”
Dohyun clenched his fists. It was so absurd he couldn’t help but laugh under his breath.
“Why would I like you?”
“…”
“After everything you’ve done to me, what kind of idiot—!”
Dohyun clenched his fists tighter, trying to pull himself together. Don’t get swept up. Jooyoung was doing this to control him again. He kept repeating that to himself, trying not to forget—
“Wanna date?”
Then Jooyoung said something completely unbelievable.
For a moment, Dohyun thought the world had stopped. His breath caught, the dust in the air seemed to glow, and every particle filled his vision.
All he could do was stare at Jooyoung with a blank expression.
“You like me, don’t you?”
“…”
“Hmm?”
Jooyoung crawled toward him on all fours, right up to his face. Dohyun flinched and jerked his head to the side, his shoulders tensing. He raised an arm in a hurry to shield himself, but Jooyoung grabbed his arm.
“Don’t.”
Jooyoung tried to move his arm away, but Dohyun held on with all his strength.
“Fuck, I said stop!”
He couldn’t meet Jooyoung’s eyes and kept looking everywhere else. Even though Jooyoung was weaker than him, Dohyun didn’t know what to do—he looked like a lost child.
“What are you looking at, you little—”
No matter how much he tried to hide his trembling lips and darting eyes, Jooyoung’s gaze remained locked on them. His defenseless emotions were seconds away from being exposed.
“Come on—!”
“Why do you keep running away?”
At the plain question, Dohyun froze. He stared downward in silence, then finally opened his mouth, like he’d been forced to.
“…I said I don’t like you.”
He tried denying it to the end, refusing to give in. His feelings toward Jooyoung were messy, but he had never once thought about actually dating him. Not once had he imagined it could even be possible.
But when Jooyoung casually asked, “Wanna date?” the emotion that surged through him was unmistakably joy.
“…”
Dohyun’s face contorted all at once.
Even now, he still resents Jooyoung. That’s an undeniable fact. The memories of having his affection taken without anything in return remained like scars, tormenting him for a long time.
Yet, when he came to his senses, he always found himself absentmindedly staring at the faint mark on Jooyoung’s fourth finger. He hated him so much, and yet every time Jooyoung shared intimate words with someone else, it made his stomach churn. It was always like that.
He never realized that lingering feelings couldn’t survive on hatred and resentment alone.
He never realized that love had coexisted within him, right alongside all that hate.
“…Ha.”
Had Jooyoung known all of this from the beginning? Dohyun’s trembling hand rubbed roughly at his jawline.
“Don’t.”
Jooyoung gently reached out and pulled his hand down. Behind that touch was a gaze—gentle, for once. The kind of look Dohyun had only ever received like a rare gift.
Thud. It sounded like something had collapsed. The dam Dohyun had desperately held up inside himself finally crumbled. All the feelings he had locked away and ignored came crashing down like a flood. There was no escape now. All he could do was stand there and let the overwhelming emotions wash over him.
“…Fuck.”
His clenched jaw trembled.
Over it, a cold yet tender hand continued to touch him. Calming his chaos, gently leading him toward a single choice.
“Why…”
Dohyun lowered his gaze and parted his trembling lips. He didn’t understand why this felt so pathetic.
“Why are you asking me to date you…”
Maybe it was because deep down, his instincts already knew that Bae Jooyoung had other motives.
“…Are you being serious?”
“Yeah.” Jooyoung answered without hesitation.
Dohyun felt like he was being swept away by a violent current. One part of him screamed to keep his senses, to not forget who Bae Jooyoung really was. But another part of him kept imagining the possibility of something else. He couldn’t take his eyes off Jooyoung, who was still wearing his coat.
Jooyoung came looking for him, demanding why he hadn’t answered his calls. Jooyoung was the one who, in his anxiety, came straight to him. There were valid reasons behind it all, but even so, there were things in Jooyoung’s behavior that defied easy explanation.
Expectation was slowly devouring reason.
“…You don’t even like me.”
“…”
“Then what’s the point of dating…!” It was his last, desperate attempt to hold on to reason. “Ha… fuck, there’s no reason for it!”
He stammered out the words, face twisted in frustration, only to regret them instantly. What if Jooyoung backed off, saying he understood? What if he took it all back like it never happened? Dohyun didn’t even know what he wanted anymore. He was just… lost. Completely and utterly confused.
That’s why he didn’t realize: the words he’d just said were as good as admitting he did like Jooyoung. He didn’t notice how strange it was to be demanding a reason from Jooyoung instead of from himself.
After a while, Jooyoung finally spoke.
“Because I’m lonely.”
At that unexpected answer, Dohyun stared at him in a daze.
“…What?”
“I’m scared. And lonely.”
Jooyoung rose to his knees and placed a hand on Dohyun’s shoulder. Slowly, his thumb traced along Dohyun’s tense jaw… and then, he folded into him, wrapping him in a soft embrace. The movement was as light as a feather.
“Can’t you be the one who keeps me from feeling alone?”
But for Dohyun, it crashed into him like a massive storm.