PSY CH 89

Jooyoung shifted his gaze to the desk calendar. At the top, it read October—the month of Dohyun’s birthday.

“Uh…”

He noticed a circle drawn on Dohyun’s birthday. Beneath it, in his own handwriting, was written the engagement meeting. Of all days, the meeting with his brother’s in-laws overlapped with Dohyun’s birthday. Until Hangyeol mentioned it, Jooyoung had completely forgotten about Dohyun’s birthday—he only realized it now.

Wearing a troubled expression, he stared at the calendar until the sound of footsteps echoed from afar. Having run the pawnshop in his grandfather’s stead for over three months now, he could roughly tell whether someone was coming to the store just from the sound.

Sure enough, Sunwoo appeared behind the metal gate. Jooyoung put the calendar down.

“Hello, Jooyoung-ssi!”

Sunwoo walked briskly into the pawnshop with a bright smile.

“Wow, so this is what a pawnshop looks like…”

His face brimmed with curiosity as he looked around. He clearly hadn’t come for nothing, yet oddly, he was empty-handed.

When he reached the counter, he didn’t hesitate and got straight to the point.

“It’s nothing big—I just wanted to check on the market value of something.”

“Market value?”

“Yeah. Like, how much I could get if I loaned against it.”

“Did you bring the item?”

“Ah, no, not exactly…”

Sunwoo took out his phone and showed Jooyoung a picture of the item on the screen. It was a tablet PC, with detailed specs listed below.

“Do you have the warranty and original box?”

“Ah… I’m not sure…”

He trailed off mid-sentence, prompting Jooyoung to look at him questioningly. Sunwoo added, “Ah, it’s my little brother asking. I don’t really know the details.”

“If you have everything, I can offer up to 80%. If it’s just the item, I can only go as high as 70%.”

“Ah…”

He nodded thoughtfully, then flashed a cheerful smile and stepped back.

“I’ll ask my brother and come back next time.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks, take care!”

Many people came in just to ask how much they could get, so Sunwoo’s visit wasn’t particularly unusual. Losing interest quickly, Jooyoung turned his attention back to the calendar.

He couldn’t miss the engagement meeting. But ignoring Dohyun’s birthday felt wrong too…

He knew it was something he wouldn’t have thought twice about before. But ever since returning from Seoul, Jooyoung had felt himself gradually stabilizing.

Whenever he felt anxious without reason, he would recall the firm grip on his wrist and that determined voice—and it brought him peace.

Even Hangyeol had asked right away if something good had happened the moment they met. That overwhelming sense of anxiety felt like a distant memory now. These days, he was like calm waves—so long as no one tossed a stone, he felt he could stay peaceful.

On the other hand, Dohyun had seemed preoccupied lately. When Jooyoung asked if something was wrong, he always said no, but couldn’t quite hide his low mood.

Jooyoung, now uneasy in turn, tried to draw closer to him, and each time, Dohyun reacted shyly. It was clear he still liked Jooyoung—but what was that flicker of conflict that occasionally crossed his face? Was there something personal he didn’t know about?

“…”

Still staring at the calendar, Jooyoung picked up his phone.

***

As autumn deepened, fallen leaves started piling on the streets, and night came sooner each day.

Jooyoung absentmindedly squished his ice cream while staring up at the darkening sky. The chilly air quickly made his hands cold.

Scrape, scrape.

The irritating sound didn’t stop. Jooyoung paused mid-bite and turned slightly.

“…”

Dohyun wasn’t eating his ice cream. He just kept pushing and pulling his chair with his foot, staring at the floor. The grating sound came from the plastic chair scraping against the rough ground.

“Stop that.

Jooyoung pressed down on Dohyun’s thigh with his left hand to stop him. The annoying scrape and screech finally ceased.

“…”

Dohyun stopped his foot and looked at Jooyoung. His sharp gaze softened briefly, then he quickly looked away, fiddling with the ice cream in his hand instead.

“Is something wrong? Are you mad at me for something?”

Today especially, Dohyun seemed in a bad mood. Jooyoung had initially brushed it off, assuming there was some reason behind it, but at this point, he couldn’t ignore it.

“Hwang Dohyun.”

“…”

“Dohyun.”

Unable to ignore the repeated calls, Dohyun reluctantly met his eyes.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m not mad either.”

He said the words, but his curt tone still held unspoken irritation and dissatisfaction. Watching him quietly, Jooyoung took the ice cream from Dohyun’s hand and unwrapped it for him. Then he gave it back with a small nod of his chin.

“Sigh…”

Dohyun let out a hollow laugh.

It was because what Jooyoung was doing now was no different from how he used to comfort Dohyun when he sulked as a child. Giving him something sweet to eat, peering at his face, asking if he was upset.

Dohyun brought the neatly unwrapped ice cream to his mouth. The bland pear flavor lingered on his tongue.

“Do you want to have dinner together?”

Despite how tangled up his feelings had been all day, just hearing that made Dohyun’s heart flutter helplessly. Over something as trivial as having dinner together—how pathetic. He’d gone around asking people to find a place Jooyoung might like and had even planned a spot to go afterwards.

But the restaurant they went to on recommendation turned out to be mediocre, and there were so many couples that they felt out of place. Worse, the glass still had oil residue on it, so Jooyoung didn’t even touch his water. He hadn’t complained, and it was Jooyoung who had declined when Dohyun suggested they leave, saying it was fine. But knowing him well, Dohyun couldn’t help but feel bothered.

After the meal, when they stepped outside, Jooyoung looked around the darkening streets and suggested getting ice cream. Unlike Seoul, Maeyang only had one ice cream shop, so Dohyun wondered if they should go there. But Jooyoung led him to a convenience store instead. He couldn’t even begin to describe how disappointed he’d felt.

He was irritated that nothing had gone right. On top of that, while he himself had been so excited, Jooyoung looked completely unbothered, like he was just hanging out with some kid he knew.

A kid he knows…

“Someone I don’t know. I got it wrong.”

That’s what Jooyoung had said that day. But, mistaking someone for someone you know usually means the person looked similar to someone familiar. The man Jooyoung had chased after in the lobby gave off a clean, composed vibe. More than anything, his relaxed demeanor hinted at confidence and social status—things Dohyun didn’t have at all. He had only waited for Jooyoung at the hotel, and even dinner had been a disaster. He hadn’t done a single thing right.

“…”

Watching Jooyoung run after that man as if in a trance, Dohyun had realized it instinctively. That wasn’t just the face of someone seeing an acquaintance. He was sure that was the man who had left that mark on Jooyoung’s ring finger.

Maybe that’s why the man’s image was etched into his brain, refusing to fade. Just when he thought he’d forgotten, it would come back and scratch at his nerves.

What kind of person had Jooyoung dated for so long?

How old was he? What was his job? Did he accept Jooyoung’s personality and match him well? How did they meet, and why did they start dating? Where did they usually go on dates? It probably wasn’t somewhere chaotic like today. And…

How much had Bae Jooyoung loved that man?

Had they shared the same memories, the same feelings, like he wanted to share with Jooyoung?

“Dohyun-ah.”

Just then, Jooyoung called his name. His lips were moist from the ice cream.

“…”

Pulled from his thoughts, Dohyun slowly came back to himself.

“What are you doing for your birthday?”

His birthday. The topic that had been weighing on his mind came up. Dohyun began to fidget with the ice cream, trying to act distracted. Hangyeol and the others had been pestering him to pick a date, but he’d ignored them all because he didn’t know when Jooyoung might want to meet.

Despite how many times Jooyoung had ditched him before, he’d pathetically gotten his hopes up again. Just hearing the word birthday from Jooyoung’s mouth made his heart flutter helplessly.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Then come to Seoul with me.”

The sudden suggestion left Dohyun briefly speechless.

“…Seoul?”

“Yeah. I have my brother’s formal family meeting on your birthday.”

“…”

“While that’s happening, you can wait at a cafe or hotel, and we’ll meet up afterward.”

Jooyoung spoke casually as he squished the still-frozen ice cream in his hand. The fluttering in Dohyun’s chest immediately fizzled out, and a sigh escaped him.

He knew Jooyoung didn’t mean anything bad. From Jooyoung’s perspective, it made sense—he couldn’t skip the family event, so this was the best compromise. But still…

“Wanna wait here? You’re good at waiting, right?”

With a throbbing headache, the feelings from that day surged over him like a tidal wave. The chills, the trembling, the stubborn hope he couldn’t let go of.

At that moment, Dohyun felt like his entire body had turned to sand and was crumbling away—a deep, overwhelming emptiness.

“You want me to wait again…”

“Huh?”

“…Ha.”

A twisted laugh burst out. There’s no way to describe just how fucking awful it feels when someone casually throws a stone and it lands right on your wound.

“Go by yourself.”

“…”

“I’m not going to Seoul.”

“What?”

Scrape. Dohyun pushed back his chair and stood up. He tossed his half-eaten ice cream into the trash and walked straight out of the convenience store’s tent. Jooyoung, startled, quickly followed after him. But he kept walking. 

“Hwang Dohyun!”

Jooyoung grabbed his forearm.

“What’s wrong all of a sudden? Is it because you don’t want to go to Seoul?”

“…”

“We’ve always spent your birthday together. That’s why I—”

“Haah…”

Dohyun stopped walking and tilted his head toward the sky. He let out a deep sigh, then dropped his head and slowly rubbed the back of his neck.

“That was forever ago.”

He lightly shook off Jooyoung’s hand from his arm. Jooyoung stepped back, his face full of confusion.

“Fine. Let’s say it was a long time ago.”

“…”

“But we’re dating now. Isn’t it normal to spend your birthday with your boyfriend?”

“Oh, normal.”

Dohyun tilted his head, looking down at Jooyoung. A bitter smirk twisted his lips.

“It must’ve always been like that with your past boyfriends, huh?”

“What?”

Jooyoung, who had been trying to calm him down, slowly began to get angry at Dohyun’s sarcastic tone.

“Well, fuck that. I’ve never dated anyone, so I wouldn’t know. Unlike you.”

“Hwang Dohyun!”

Jooyoung couldn’t hold back anymore and raised his voice.