PTK Ch 11
by soapa“It’s probably like that. Magazine readers, not newspaper subscribers, are the ones interested in behind-the-scenes stories. Just in case, we’ve prepared a list of anticipated questions. Pick it up from the secretary when you leave. It’s not a press conference, so there’s no need to be nervous at all. Just think of it as attending a media screening, and it’ll feel easier. Can we count on you?”
At that point, Simon Kim was looking only at Euihyun. Cha Yiljoo didn’t seem worried in the slightest. Reluctantly, Euihyun nodded.
Simon Kim wore an utterly satisfied expression.
“Alright, that’s all for business. The managers have some additional matters to discuss, so please stay a bit longer. You two can go now.”
Euihyun flinched as he stood. Without the managers, he’d be alone with Cha Yiljoo. Even if it was just to the elevator, the thought made his vision darken.
“Yiljoo.”
Manager Han called out to Cha Yiljoo. Something came flying in a long arc. It was car keys. Cha Yiljoo deftly caught them. Watching, Park Hanyoung suddenly made a request.
“Yiljoo, if it’s not too much trouble, could you drop Euihyun off at home?”
Since I drove him here. He added the reason. Before Cha Yiljoo could respond, Euihyun frantically waved his hands.
“No, I…”
“Please, I’m asking you.”
Park Hanyoung insisted again. A blatant gaze landed on Euihyun’s cheek. His face felt like it was burning.
“Sure, I’ll do it.”
Cha Yiljoo agreed readily and left the office first. The three people seated on the sofa turned their attention to the dawdling Euihyun. Simon Kim even asked outright, “Got something to say?” With no choice, Euihyun bowed and headed out. Park Hanyoung mouthed silently, “I’ll call you.” With that image as his last, Euihyun quietly closed the door.
Cha Yiljoo was receiving the prepared question list from the secretary. He abruptly handed one sheet to Euihyun, who stood at a distance.
“…Thank you.”
“No big deal.”
Cha Yiljoo smiled as if it was nothing. Unconsciously, Euihyun stared at him blankly. Could this really be a dream? The vain hope swelled fiercely, overtaking his mind. Otherwise, how could he act like this, as if he’d completely forgotten what happened just days ago?
Euihyun had been certain he’d be shunned. At the very least, he’d expected Cha Yiljoo to suppress his discomfort. He hadn’t dared hope for an attitude like this, not even out of shamelessness. The way Cha Yiljoo acted as if nothing had happened was more surprising than pleasing. It didn’t feel real.
Cha Yiljoo soon met his eyes and said, “Shall we go?” His characteristic smile hung on his face. Only then did Euihyun realize he’d been staring intently. Startled, he looked away. Unfazed by Euihyun’s overreaction, Cha Yiljoo walked down the hallway first. Euihyun, inwardly groaning, took reluctant steps to follow.
Once the secretary’s office door closed, it was just the two of them. The walk to the elevator felt twice as long as usual.
Following Cha Yiljoo’s back, it was like facing a solid wall. There was no noticeable change, yet it wasn’t entirely the same as before. The emotional distance had grown incomparably vast. Being with him used to feel warm, even in winter, even without conversation, but now the air was icy, fragile, as if it might shatter any moment.
After walking ahead for a while, Cha Yiljoo suddenly spoke.
“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen your movie yet, Euihyun.”
He gazed at a frame on the wall. It was where Euihyun’s photo hung. Though he muttered as if to himself, his gaze quietly landed on Euihyun, who followed behind.
Was this the right moment? Since that day, Euihyun had resolved to apologize if he ever saw Cha Yiljoo again. He wanted to say sorry for deceiving him all this time and for ruining their relationship with his selfishness. He didn’t expect forgiveness or reconciliation.
Even if the timing wasn’t ideal, who knew when another chance would come? Taking a low breath, Euihyun cautiously began.
“That day…”
“Let’s not talk about the past.”
Cha Yiljoo turned his back again, drawing a line. He didn’t seem angry. His tone remained polite, his voice as gentle as ever.
But his firm refusal to continue the conversation left no room for further words.
“Straight home?”
He asked while pressing the elevator button. His casual tone made it seem like he’d forgotten their prior exchange. Euihyun instinctively said, “Yes,” then hurriedly corrected himself.
“…No, I have a prior engagement. So, you don’t need to worry about me.”
The lie was obvious.
“Really?”
Cha Yiljoo turned slowly, as if verifying the truth. Unable to meet his gaze, Euihyun fixated on the lit elevator button. “Can’t be helped,” a faint murmur reached his ears. When he looked up, Cha Yiljoo was staring at the floor indicator, not him.
The elevator arrived soon. Cha Yiljoo stepped inside without hesitation. Their eyes met through the closing doors. Smiling easily, Cha Yiljoo said, “See you tomorrow.”
“Oh, yeah.”
Euihyun bowed dazedly. The doors closed completely. Left outside, Euihyun blankly watched the floor numbers change from 3 to 2, then 1.
Cha Yiljoo hadn’t changed since Director Yoon’s birthday, their first meeting. He no longer asked if Euihyun had eaten, what he’d do next, or suggested grabbing a drink, but he was kind and polite, as he was with others.
“I’m sorry. Please pretend you didn’t hear anything.”
Had he decided to act as if it never happened, to forget it entirely? If so, should Euihyun treat him the same way? He wasn’t sure.
Confirming the elevator reached the basement, he took out his phone. Finding a number, he pressed the call button. Soon, the awaited voice answered.
“Yes, it’s me. I was wondering if you had time.”
Surprised by the sudden call, the other’s response dragged on. Listening quietly, Euihyun finally pressed the elevator button.
“I’ll come to you.”
Euihyun arrived at a cable broadcasting station to meet Jang Daewoong. He’d recently become a regular panelist on a show, and today was a recording day.
Instead of going to the waiting room, Euihyun entered the first-floor café. Scanning the simple menu, he ordered two cups of black tea.
The small station was nearly empty. Only a few staff passed by, and no celebrities or broadcasters were in sight. It was Euihyun’s first time here. As a lifestyle channel, it wasn’t surprising. At a glance, it could pass for a regular office building.
While playing the diligent observer, his tea was ready. Right then, Jang Daewoong emerged from the studio. Spotting Euihyun, he waved enthusiastically and approached.
“Wait long?”
“No. Just got here.”
“Lunch? If you haven’t eaten, wanna grab something?”
“I’m fine, but… haven’t you eaten?”
“Not hungry. Ate bits and pieces during the shoot. If we’re talking, let’s go to my car. Gotta head back in a bit.”
“The recording’s not done? Then I can come back later…”
Having come all this way, he rigidly suggested postponing. Jang Daewoong snatched his share of the drink from Euihyun’s hand.
“It’s lunch break anyway. I’ve got about an hour, so let’s kill time together.”
Before Euihyun could protest, he strode toward the parking lot. Euihyun followed silently.
Jang Daewoong put Euihyun in the back seat of his car. He turned on the heater, switched off the dashcam, and only then sat beside him. The windows were darkly tinted, and only cars surrounded them, yet he took precautions.
Euihyun sipped the cooled tea. Jang Daewoong, wetting his lips, gauged Euihyun’s mood. It was their first time meeting like this. To be precise, they rarely made separate plans. Euihyun usually showed up at Jang Daewoong’s place unprompted.
It could’ve been like that today. It wasn’t a closing day, so why couldn’t he wait until evening? Jang Daewoong was curious.
“What’s up? You came all the way here.”
“Just wanted to see you, hyung.”
“Whoa, gotten all charming since we last met?”
“I keep saying I’ll visit, but I haven’t even called much. So…”
The excuse sounded plausible. Jang Daewoong smirked and stared at Euihyun. When the conversation paused, Euihyun met his eyes. Jang Daewoong peered at him as if seeing through everything. The prolonged scrutiny must’ve been too much, as Euihyun finally looked away.
“How you holding up? With him.”
“Doing alright.”
“No big issues?”
“…….”
He couldn’t answer the next question. Jang Daewoong raised an eyebrow and asked, “What?”
“Something happen?”
Again, Euihyun pressed his lips shut. His hand, holding the cup, nervously scratched the holder. A bad premonition flashed through Jang Daewoong’s mind.
“Did you tell him?”
Asking half-doubtfully, he saw Euihyun smile faintly. He didn’t try to deny it. Jang Daewoong swallowed hard, eyes widening. He covered his shocked mouth.
When and how did this guy? Euihyun wasn’t the type to confess first. Had he been found out? That seemed more plausible. But it was the worst-case scenario. Thinking further, he couldn’t guess more. A glance at Euihyun showed no intent to elaborate.
Jang Daewoong sighed deeply, frowning. He had countless questions but cut to the chase.
“What’d he say?”
“He’s not interested in that kind of relationship with me…”
It was the expected outcome. That’s why Jang Daewoong hadn’t given Euihyun false hope or encouraged him. Still, hearing it confirmed, he couldn’t hide his heavy heart.
Silence fell for a moment. Jang Daewoong couldn’t find suitable comfort. Euihyun hadn’t come seeking consolation either. He wanted advice from someone who’d understand his pain best, on what to do. That was certain, yet his guarded heart unraveled on its own. Exhaling a long sigh, Euihyun spilled the regrets he’d kept inside, disjointedly.
“I regret it. I should’ve held back. Keeping him in the dark, staying friends like before, would’ve been so much better. Now, even if I want to take it back, I can’t, and it’s so frustrating. We’ll never go back to how it was. I feel like I’ve caused him unnecessary trouble… I don’t know how to face him going forward.”
“What’d Cha Yiljoo say?”
Euihyun shook his head firmly.
“He’s kind on the surface.”
“On the surface?”
“…He acts like nothing happened, but I can tell he’s uncomfortable around me. Not that he’s upset, though.”
Even Euihyun couldn’t articulate that vague feeling. Listening quietly, Jang Daewoong asked for clarification.
“No anger or resentment?”
“No.”
“He didn’t suggest hooking up or anything?”
Though just a question, Euihyun recoiled in shock. His reaction alone gave the answer, and Jang Daewoong pursed his lips.
“That’s something, at least. Even straight guys, knowing someone’s into them, might casually propose it. They’re curious too, full of it. Doesn’t matter if they’re trash or gentlemanly—guys with dicks all have the same interests.”
“He’s not like that.”
“Who doesn’t know? I’m just asking, just in case. He doesn’t outright ignore or show dislike, but avoids meeting. Sounds like he’s confused too. Getting confessed to out of nowhere by someone he never saw that way—why wouldn’t he be? Could be he’s minding his image or reputation. And, Euihyun, whether a guy’s ‘that type’ doesn’t matter when it comes to sex. It’s instinct. Not saying it’s true, but if someone you like asks to sleep together, could you say no? If you’re lucky, it stays distant and ends. If not, you get dragged around like an idiot, giving your body while never being seen as a real partner—pathetic.”
It’s not unheard of. It’s a common story. But Euihyun had never imagined it. Cha Yiljoo demanding his body? Impossible. Not when he viewed a man loving a man as shameful.
The conversation stalled again. Jang Daewoong turned to the window, sighing repeatedly. Euihyun, picking at the innocent holder, simply endured the passing time.
“What’re you gonna do?”
“…Sort it out.”
“Never see him again?”
“That’s tough with work.”
Euihyun lowered his head. It was a dead-end he couldn’t escape. Unable to bear the frustration, Jang Daewoong vented.
“Keep running into him for work, no chance for a better relationship, can’t go back to being friends. What is this? How do you live with that awkwardness?”
“…….”
Euihyun only smiled faintly instead of answering. Jang Daewoong’s scolding followed.
“Don’t laugh. Is this a laughing matter? Sort it out? Easier said than done. You’ll keep crossing paths whether you want to or not—how do you cut him off? If he was a jerk, maybe, but how do you ditch a guy with no flaws?”
Every word from Jang Daewoong was spot-on. But this feeling had to belong to someone. Talking about Cha Yiljoo, even thinking of him now…
Euihyun, with a hurried “anyway,” cut the conversation short.
“It’s come to this, so I hope you won’t worry about it anymore, hyung.”
“Euihyun.”
“It’ll be fine.”
“…….”
“I’ll be okay soon.”
He put on a brave front with such a fragile expression. Knowing it was self-assurance, Jang Daewoong let it slide. For Euihyun’s sake, to keep him from blaming himself more, it felt necessary.
“If it gets tough, come by anytime.”
“Yeah, hyung. Don’t you need to head back?”
“Guess so. Since it’s come to this, grit your teeth and make bank.”
At the somewhat rough encouragement, Euihyun chuckled and said, “Yeah.” Jang Daewoong patted his shoulder.
“Got your car?”
“No. Stopped by after the agency. I’ll take the bus.”
“An actor on a bus?”
“Came that way too. I like it.”
Jang Daewoong was appalled.
“What’s that? Does your manager know?”
“I’m not a kid. No need to report that…”
“Guys like you need a bit of celebrity syndrome. Don’t want your commute broadcasted? Take a taxi.”
Grumbling, he booked one on an app. A taxi was secured quickly.
“Don’t beat yourself up too much. Feelings don’t stay hidden forever, and it’s better than getting caught by mistake. Deceiving him until your feelings fade isn’t fair either.”
Euihyun nodded with a bitter smile. He knew it wasn’t comforting. Jang Daewoong’s shoulders slumped.
“I wish you’d cry, Euihyun. Wounds that don’t show fester inside.”
Still, Euihyun offered no real response. Defeated, he stared at the cooled tea. Feeling like he was making things worse, Jang Daewoong decided to let him go.
“Let’s go. Get home safe.”
“Yeah, hyung.”
They stepped out and parted ways. After a few steps, Euihyun paused and looked back. He saw Jang Daewoong running, likely late. Watching him disappear into the building, Euihyun turned.
The called taxi waited at the entrance. The driver was engrossed in a personal call the whole ride. Euihyun gazed out the window at the passing scenery. Nothing looked different, yet everything felt changed in just days.
A vibration startled him. Checking his phone, he saw a message from Park Hanyoung asking if he got home. Though still out, he replied he was home to avoid worry. A reply to rest well came back.
“…….”
He stared at the quiet phone before pocketing it. Normally, he’d have sent Cha Yiljoo a courtesy message. But anything—any intent—that might trouble Cha Yiljoo was better avoided. No matter how much he pretended to be fine or unaffected, unreciprocated feelings would burden him. If they grew distant, so be it. It was his doing.
He looked far off deliberately. Winter was over, but his eyes stung today.
🎥
“Been waiting long?”
Park Hanyoung looked surprised. Euihyun started to say no, then scratched his ear, caught in his indefensible state. He was fully dressed—coat, shoes, ready to go. He’d clearly prepped thoroughly after the call to head out.
Imagining him waiting obediently at the door, an untraceable smile arose. It was like watching a big dog, wasn’t it?
“It’s warmed up today, not too cold.”
At Park Hanyoung’s tip, Euihyun set down the scarf he’d been fiddling with. Locking up quickly, he boarded the waiting van. The rustle woke Jung Yijin, dozing in the front. With a groggy voice, she said, “Hi, oppa,” and fumbled for a while, intending to move to the back.
“No, keep sleeping.”
Euihyun sat her back down, circled the van, and took the seat behind the driver. Even half-asleep, Jung Yijin mumbled, “Sorry.” In a sleep-heavy voice, she sporadically shared how she’d met friends yesterday and drank enough to suffer a hangover. She chattered eagerly, but Euihyun barely caught it, feeling apologetic. Soon, she nodded off, head drooping, still clutching his outfit dearly.
She seemed like a little sister. A smile spread across Euihyun’s face. Park Hanyoung, glancing back, wore an even warmer grin.
The van, carrying the group, headed to a regular shop. Contracted by the agency, Cha Yiljoo would likely be there too. They’d inevitably cross paths.
Euihyun’s mood sank preemptively. Meeting Cha Yiljoo was always welcome and pleasant. But since that day, that moment, thinking of him brought only tension and burden. No matter how much he acted calm or unaffected, he couldn’t ignore the awkward atmosphere. Thinking Cha Yiljoo felt the same made it harder to bear.
“You look frozen. Nervous?”
Park Hanyoung turned, noting Euihyun’s pale face. Rubbing his face, Euihyun brushed it off.
“No. Maybe I didn’t sleep well.”
“Don’t overthink it. It’s freer than an interview, so relax. Reviewed the expected questions?”
“Yeah, I checked them.”
“Not all will be like that, but tricky questions might come up. If it’s hard to answer, just smile and move on. Being too stiff makes others uncomfortable and the mood rigid. Got it?”
Nodding at the steady advice, Euihyun tapped his face to loosen his tense expression. Perhaps woken by the sound, Jung Yijin, eyes still closed, rummaged through her bag. She pulled something out and offered it.
“Oppa, want this?”
What she offered was a grain tea brewed at home. A sweet, nutty aroma quickly filled the van. Even if it wasn’t to his taste, Euihyun reached to accept it, but the vehicle jolted heavily, causing the contents to spill. At his exclamation, Park Hanyoung whipped around. Kim Munseong, the driver, glanced through the rearview mirror. Jung Yijin, whose eyes had widened, soon looked crestfallen.
“Oh no, what do I do?”
“Are you okay?”
The person whose clothes were ruined remained calm, while the others couldn’t hide their dismay.
“It’s fine. I’m changing soon anyway.”
Euihyun wiped the stain with tissues Jung Yijin hurriedly offered. To spare her embarrassment, he even took a sip of the spilled grain tea. He didn’t forget to thank her for it. Had he been more careful, this wouldn’t have happened.
Was he really nervous? He stared at his cold hands.
The interview itself wasn’t particularly daunting. The concern was having to sit side by side with Cha Yiljoo throughout and the certainty that the problematic ad would come up. He could manage responses, but could they truly ignore each other? He wasn’t confident.
While worrying, they arrived at the shop. Gathering outfits and other items, they entered. A staff member at the counter guided them to their assigned spots.
Following behind, Euihyun noticed a restroom.
“I’ll go wash my hands.”
“Okay.”
Sending Park Hanyoung and Jung Yijin ahead, he headed to the restroom. Opening the door without hesitation, he froze. A man with a familiar presence stood at the sink. The scent that soon reached him resembled someone he knew. His breath caught for a moment.
The man at the sink, sensing someone at the door, looked up. Bad premonitions never missed. Through the mirror, Cha Yiljoo’s steady gaze met his. Euihyun bowed reflexively. Cha Yiljoo, with a gentle smile, returned a light nod, then focused on drying his hands.
Entering or turning back both felt awkward. The sticky residue of the grain tea on his hands was also bothersome.
Ultimately, Euihyun chose the less embarrassing option. He stepped inside and approached the sink. Even as Euihyun stood beside him, Cha Yiljoo showed no particular awareness. Euihyun, too, quietly turned on the water and washed his hands.
“…….”
“…….”
For a while, no words passed between them. Each second dragged like a minute. Euihyun only hoped the brief silence didn’t feel long to Cha Yiljoo.
Cha Yiljoo, turning off the water first, walked behind Euihyun. At that moment, Euihyun was still scrubbing the stain on his clothes. Despite trying not to, all his senses focused on his back. Swallowing quietly to avoid betraying his covert attention, he made water sounds repeatedly, but it didn’t ease his nerves. No noise seemed capable of masking his breathing.
Cha Yiljoo pulled a paper towel to dry his hands. Though not looking at the mirror, Euihyun sensed his every movement. His heart raced with unwarranted tension.
“I was so caught up that I didn’t get to mention earlier, but…”
Cha Yiljoo’s voice broke the silence unexpectedly. Euihyun looked up dazedly, meeting his eyes through the mirror. Unaware of his own embarrassment, he stared at Cha Yiljoo’s face.
It was only after a moment that he regained his senses. What was he talking about? Flustered, Euihyun couldn’t process what Cha Yiljoo had said. More precisely, he couldn’t grasp its intent.
To the silent Euihyun, Cha Yiljoo asked again.
“What do you think we should do, Euihyun?”
“…Pardon?”
It was still hard to understand. Water from the faucet rushed fiercely into the drain. All his attention was on Cha Yiljoo, and he forgot to turn it off.
Cha Yiljoo, looking directly at Euihyun in the mirror, elaborated further. He wasn’t smiling at all.
“I’ve been thinking about it since then, but I’m still not sure.”
“…….”
Was he asking about their relationship? The nuance suggested so. But Euihyun wasn’t certain. Cha Yiljoo’s words were vague, and it felt presumptuous to assume. Perhaps Euihyun’s mind, stuck on that day, was misinterpreting and deluding itself.
“Looking back slowly, I even felt some resentment. Did you think it was fine to ruin everything, to let it all fall apart, Euihyun?”
At that, Euihyun turned to face Cha Yiljoo. The voice in his ears sounded unusually sharp, unlike him.
Cha Yiljoo gazed at Euihyun without a hint of wavering. The habitual smile on his face had completely vanished.
Thump, thump. His heart suddenly raced. His neck grew cold. Was he being scolded for recklessly confessing and ruining their relationship? If so, he had no defense. It was something he deserved to bear.
As he hesitated, unable to respond, the door swung open. A staff member, entering casually, looked between the two men facing off. He seemed startled not by who they were but by the tense atmosphere, out of place in a restroom.
Had he noticed the outsider’s gaze? Cha Yiljoo, expressionless until then, gave a slight smile.
“I mean today’s interview. They say to keep it casual, unbound by formalities, but it’s not easy to do that in front of reporters. I’m worried about saying something wrong. You’re the only one on my side, Euihyun. Shouldn’t we at least coordinate our responses?”
“…Oh.”
His heart kept pounding relentlessly. Cha Yiljoo, seamlessly shifting to another topic, felt unfamiliar. The staff, who’d been eyeing them hesitantly, tactfully left. Cha Yiljoo didn’t linger either.
“Let’s talk more later. I’ll go prepare.”
“Okay.”
All Euihyun could do was nod quietly. Cha Yiljoo left, and the door closed again. Only then did he realize the faucet was still running. The water was too cold, and his fingertips were faintly flushed.
He stared into the mirror. A flustered man stared back dumbly. Had he overthought it? Cha Yiljoo was just concerned about the interview, but Euihyun might have arbitrarily tied his gaze, expression, gestures, and tone to one conclusion.
Still, he’d seemed so serious. Was the lingering doubt due to Euihyun’s arrogance, assuming Cha Yiljoo would deeply consider their relationship?
“Let’s not talk about the past.”
No, there was no reason to revisit that now. Shaking his head, he cast off distractions and regrets. Drying his hands, he left the restroom.
Cha Yiljoo was already robed, seated, and discussing with his team as if nothing had happened. His demeanor looked calmer.
“Come in. Want to sit here?”
The assigned designer approached Euihyun, who stood blankly. A beat late, he greeted and took the offered seat—next to Cha Yiljoo.
Park Hanyoung and Jung Yijin, who’d been resting, came up behind him. They listened earnestly to the designer’s style suggestions. Euihyun tried to focus, but nothing registered.
It was the same during full styling. The designer’s questions were overshadowed by Cha Yiljoo’s voice from beside him, which rang clearer, causing distress. His gentle tone, calm and friendly manner, even his soft laughter—though not directed at Euihyun, all his senses reacted on their own.
“You two haven’t said a word to each other today, have you?”
The designer suddenly raised the question, looking between Cha Yiljoo and Euihyun with curiosity. This drew everyone’s attention to them. Was it that obvious? Unlike Euihyun, frozen with embarrassment, Cha Yiljoo smiled easily and said, “Have we?”
“Yeah. Did you know Euihyun was here?”
“Of course. We met in the restroom earlier. Seems like Euihyun’s nervous again.”
“Oppa, still? Want me to hold your hand?”
Jung Yijin jumped in. Before he could agree, she grabbed his hand, then flinched at its unexpected coldness. Fussing that he might be sick or had poor circulation, she vigorously rubbed his hand. Park Hanyoung asked a staff member for hot tea. Saying it was from washing in cold water didn’t help. The commotion stirred the otherwise stiff atmosphere.
Feeling a blatant gaze, Euihyun turned. His eyes met Cha Yiljoo’s. Asking “You okay?” without hesitation, Cha Yiljoo smiled silently when Euihyun nodded, then returned to his designer’s conversation.
Despite Euihyun’s resolve, Cha Yiljoo remained unchanged. He smiled as before and initiated conversation. Yet, a sense of unease persisted. He was consistent yet somehow not.
The interview took place at a large suburban café. The atmosphere was generally relaxed. Tables were spaced out for views, and refreshments were set up on one side. There was no moderator. As briefed, they could converse freely.
“Please take your seats, if you would.”
At Manager Han’s request, the reporters settled in. The chaotic air calmed. Cha Yiljoo and Euihyun were guided to a small table at the front. Cha Yiljoo sat, crossing his long legs without hesitation. At a press conference, it might’ve been an issue, but here, it just seemed carefree. His casual attire and informal greeting added to the relaxed vibe.
“Seeing you all outside the agency feels extra nice. Maybe it’s just me, but the drive here felt less like commuting and more like a road trip. If I could get some fresh air, eat good food, and work in between like this every day, my efficiency would skyrocket.”
Opening with a joke, he earned nods of agreement. Light laughter broke out.
“Think of this as catching up with friends, and I’m ready to be grilled. Feel free to ask anything you’ve been curious about. I hope this is an open, honest time.”
Some reporters cheered mischievously. Gradually, eyes turned to Euihyun. He lacked Cha Yiljoo’s confidence. Standing abruptly, he bowed formally.
“Hello. I’m Jung Euihyun.”
His stiff, rookie-like demeanor drew amused smiles. Raising his head, he locked eyes with Kim Jihee. He gave a slight smile to her enthusiastic wave and sat back down.
As expected, magazine reporters outnumbered newspaper ones, heightening his nerves. Even a casual joke could end up in print. Being his first such event, he felt lost on how to proceed. Managers and staff had already retreated. The conversation was up to the two of them. How to steer it? He regretted not aligning with Cha Yiljoo, even briefly. His mouth dried with growing anxiety.
Then, Cha Yiljoo asked a reporter about their well-being, seemingly acquainted.
“New school year started, right? How’s your son adjusting? I think you said he’s starting this year.”
“Oh, that kid? Don’t get me started. He calls twelve times a day begging me to pick him up. Thinks school’s a kindergarten—cries and throws fits if something doesn’t suit him, saying he’ll go home.”
“Being in a new environment can make even adults nervous. More rules to follow, a bigger world—it’s probably overwhelming. I hear it’s rarer to adjust right away.”
“That’s what they say. My mom says I used to wet myself at school all the time. Just hope he gets used to it soon. How about you, Yiljoo? How’s life?”
The question naturally looped back. Cha Yiljoo answered casually.
“The film I shot in China is wrapping up, so I’m looking at next projects in between.”
“That movie’s got a huge budget and blockbuster scale, I heard. Already shot that much?”
“Just my parts. My role’s so small this time, it’s almost embarrassing to be credited.”
“Oh? ‘This time’ suggests the film’s eyeing a series? Bigger role for you in the sequel?”
“We’ll see.”
Another reporter joined subtly.
“So, you’re on a break now? Not dating?”
The playful question drew laughter from all sides. Even the watching managers chuckled. Amid the banter, only Euihyun froze in shock. Cha Yiljoo, unfazed, grinned.
“Gotta date.”
Mischievous cheers erupted from the reporters. Euihyun couldn’t help staring at Cha Yiljoo. Focused on the reporters, he seemed unaware of Euihyun’s gaze.
“When I can focus on someone, that’s when I’ll date. Right now, I’m barely managing myself. Thankfully, there’s still plenty of work coming my way. Been shooting contracted editorials and ads these past few days.”
Boos followed his elaboration. Euihyun’s churning emotions settled abruptly. He clamped his mouth shut. He hated himself for being swayed by such things.
“Speaking of, you know the ad you shot with Euihyun in the U.S. is launching big, right?”
“How could I not?”
Cha Yiljoo glanced at Euihyun. A melancholic expression flickered in his softly curved eyes. Even in this free setting, it was a public event. Euihyun felt he needed to pull himself together.
“The photos turned out great.”
“Our side said it’s too much for public spaces. Only male models, fully clothed, but it’s on another level.”
“Shows how open-minded our country’s become. Back then, even ads like that—how could they run? Force it, and you’d get reported, fined, sometimes even suspended. By old standards, it’d be grounds for shutting down.”
Frank opinions poured out. Euihyun’s head dropped lower. His exposed ears burned red. Despite his resolve, he couldn’t control his physiological response.
Then a reporter asked how Euihyun got cast, demanding details. Again, Cha Yiljoo answered.
“It was around the agency’s anniversary, so we were both in the U.S. The ad shoot was already scheduled, and I planned to grab a meal with Euihyun after. That’s why he came to the studio. The set was in chaos—everyone was on edge. One model got into a car accident en route, so a no-show was inevitable. To proceed, we had to exclude that model or find a replacement. The client wouldn’t allow changing the composition, and finding a substitute wasn’t easy. Sure, there are plenty of pros, but contracts and schedules aren’t guaranteed. Even if conditions aligned, you couldn’t fly someone from Paris or Milan to New York in two hours. Postponing wasn’t an option either—the shoot was barely agreed upon for that day.”
It was a well-known behind-the-scenes story. The reporters were hooked on what followed. Cha Yiljoo recalled it calmly.
“The crew kept clashing, unable to agree, so I made a suggestion. ‘He’s not a pro model, but he’s an actor with excellent emotional expression. He might produce better results than just anyone.’ That piqued their curiosity. I showed them an editorial we’d done together before. The concepts were different, so they weren’t fully convinced, but they got interested fast. It didn’t take long to finalize. Looking back, Euihyun’s involvement changed a lot. The original concept was blatantly sensual—costumes too.”
That was news to Euihyun. He only remembered standing clueless before a group debating him intensely. To think that tiny scrap of fabric was really meant as a costume. He sighed in belated relief that it changed.
“The costume changed? What was the original like?”
Fresh intrigue sparked inevitable curiosity. Euihyun’s head dropped again. Describing it would make them imagine it, right? Yeah, anyone would.
Cha Yiljoo hummed, searching his memory. Failing to specify the costume, he passed the question to Euihyun.
“Yeah, what was it like, Euihyun?”
His tone felt oddly familiar. Looking at Cha Yiljoo, he saw him watching Euihyun with a smiling face. The reporters’ eyes shifted to Euihyun. Groaning with a troubled expression, Euihyun reluctantly spoke.
“About the size of a palm…”
He trailed off, faltering. The reporters leaned in at his faint voice. Recalling the fabric scrap on the mannequin made his face burn. Describing it himself was even more mortifying.
Cha Yiljoo, waiting quietly, interjected softly.
“Yeah, about palm-sized—let’s leave it there. For Euihyun’s image.”
“No, why? You got us all curious!”
“If I explain, you’ll imagine it.”
He gently deflected without ruining the mood. The reporters, egging him on, didn’t press further. They couldn’t keep probing after repeated dismissals.
Seizing the moment, Kim Jihee raised her hand. Cha Yiljoo acknowledged her question with eye contact.
“You’ve been that brand’s model since last year, right?”
“Yes.”
“It’s known for leaning heavily into sexual concepts, including homosexuality. Looking at past ads, your expressiveness is striking. What do you think about homosexuality in real life?”
It had come. The question was plainly listed in Simon Kim’s guide. Cha Yiljoo hummed, pondering. Though Euihyun knew his likely response, his heart raced anxiously.
“Shameless.”
He didn’t expect Cha Yiljoo to say that in such a public setting. And Euihyun’s prediction held true.
“Just as men and women meet with good feelings, families care for each other, or people cherish animals, I think homosexuality is a form of love. Being different doesn’t mean being wrong. If two people are happy, isn’t that fine?”
It was a safe, inoffensive answer. As if expecting it, Kim Jihee suddenly smirked mischievously.
“What if you were the target?”
“I’d respectfully decline.”
He laughed, adding, “Please edit this part out.” His charm made the reporters chuckle. The atmosphere couldn’t have been better—except for one person, Euihyun.
A heavy lead weight seemed to settle in his chest. His lungs felt crushed, making it hard to breathe steadily. Though Cha Yiljoo’s answer wasn’t aimed at Euihyun, maintaining composure was tough.
“What about you, Jung Euihyun?”
“…Pardon?”
The sudden question jolted his heart. He couldn’t tell what it was building on.
“You said it was almost your first modeling gig. An incredible opportunity, not something just anyone gets, came out of nowhere, right?”
“Oh, I was flustered and lacked confidence at first. So I declined, but…”
Mid-sentence, he looked at Cha Yiljoo. Their eyes met as expected. Cha Yiljoo’s smile lingered. Hoping not to seem evasive, Euihyun faced forward.
That day was undeniably a stroke of luck. But without Cha Yiljoo, Euihyun would’ve refused. He wasn’t keen, but Cha Yiljoo wanted it, asked for it, so he agreed. Naturally, he couldn’t reveal that.
“Next thing I knew, I was in front of the camera.”
His vague dodge sounded like a joke, drawing soft laughter. He wished they’d move on, but the reporters pounced eagerly.
“You said you lacked confidence. Were you hesitant? Even for a big brand, that concept would be daunting for someone with little modeling experience.”
“At first, I couldn’t grasp what we were shooting. I’d never seen that brand’s ads. Thanks to the crew and Cha Yiljoo’s help, it turned out as well as it did.”
“So Cha Yiljoo’s lead got us this sexy photo?”
They twisted his response mischievously. He tried to deny it, but the reporters were already roaring with laughter. Cha Yiljoo, beside him, chuckled too, showing no displeasure. It wasn’t a mistake, yet Euihyun felt mortified.
Then a reporter shifted the topic, saying, “By the way.”
“You once named Im Suhyun as your ideal type, Jung Euihyun. Still the same?”
It was from last year’s awards ceremony. He’d never mentioned Im Suhyun himself, but denying it now felt pointless.
“Oh, yeah.”
“What about her specifically?”
“Well… she’s beautiful.”
Not even knowing what the actress Im Suhyun looked like, he bluffed. Kim Jihee, seeing through it, teased.
“Are you openly admitting to looks-based preference? If not, tell us in detail about your ideal woman.”
He sensed Cha Yiljoo’s gaze. Looking at Kim Jihee straight ahead, he couldn’t be sure, but it felt like it. It could just be his arrogance.
This time, Euihyun honestly shared his usual ideal type.
“Someone kind, who works hard at their job. I’d admire them, you could say.”
An interview wasn’t a confessional. It didn’t demand or expect full truth. Yet, defining his ideal type as a “woman” in front of Cha Yiljoo, who knew his orientation, felt preemptively embarrassing. He couldn’t bring himself to look at him.
The question shifted abruptly to Cha Yiljoo. The topic still lingered on Euihyun’s ideal type.
“What do you think, Cha Yiljoo? Jung Euihyun just shared his ideal type. Does he really admire such women?”
“Well, to me… it sounds a bit too tailored for an interview.”
Laughter erupted predictably at his candid response. Euihyun couldn’t join in. He felt as if he were in an entirely different world. Was it his guilty conscience? The weight of guilt intensified, amplifying his shame.
Would he think it’s pathetic? Seeing me, someone who likes men, shamelessly lying.
The interview was filled with trivial stories one wouldn’t typically hear or discuss. For Euihyun, the two hours that felt like an eternity passed in a flash.
As the reporters began packing up, Euihyun followed Park Hanyoung out. Manager Han was on a call, reporting work matters. The van pulled up in front of the waiting pair. Park Hanyoung opened the door himself, explaining.
“We need to wrap up here and treat the reporters to a meal. You two, take this van and head back first.”
Euihyun glanced at Cha Yiljoo with a troubled expression. Cha Yiljoo merely smiled nonchalantly and said, “Sure.” The two stylists boarded first, followed by Cha Yiljoo. Park Hanyoung added, “Call when you arrive.” With no choice, Euihyun nodded and was about to climb in when a voice called from behind.
“Actor Jung!”
It was Kim Jihee. Rushing over, she thrust something into his arms.
“…What’s this?”
“Your birthday was recently, right? I forgot until I was on my way here. Sorry, my head’s been a mess lately. It’s not much, but it’s my sincerity, so keep it.”
What Kim Jihee forcefully handed over was a bouquet. It was excessively vibrant and lush, likely sourced from who-knows-where. Holding it blocked nearly his entire view. Flustered, he couldn’t immediately say thanks.
“Let’s grab a meal later. I’ll treat to apologize.”
“Uh, well…”
“Call me.”
She mimed a phone gesture and darted back into the café before he could respond. Euihyun was left standing with the massive bouquet. Park Hanyoung, suppressing a laugh, urged, “Get in.” Careful not to crush even a single flower, Euihyun climbed into the van and sat. Cha Yiljoo observed him obliquely.
With everyone aboard, the van’s doors closed, and it set off. The two stylists, chattering in the back, poked their heads forward.
“That woman earlier was so bold.”
“Right? That reporter seems into you, oppa.”
“No, it’s not like that.”
Euihyun hurriedly corrected their assumptions. How to explain his relationship with Kim Jihee? It didn’t seem necessary to delve into details, so he chose his words. Before he could, Cha Yiljoo interjected.
“She’s right. Kim Jihee clearly has a soft spot for Euihyun.”
“Well, that’s…”
Euihyun opened his mouth to protest but closed it again. He wasn’t unaware of what Cha Yiljoo meant. Even if Cha Yiljoo misunderstood his bond with Kim Jihee, there was no need to clarify. He probably wasn’t curious anyway.
“That’s?”
“…Pardon?”
“Didn’t you just start to say something?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
He smiled faintly and shook his head. Cha Yiljoo only said, “Is that so?” and didn’t press further. An awkward air hung between them.
Their conversation stopped there. Cha Yiljoo leaned deep into his seat and closed his eyes quietly. The stylists continued their chatter in the back, and Kim Munseong, as always, focused solely on driving. Euihyun couldn’t talk alone in that setting. Adjusting the giant bouquet from Kim Jihee, he gazed out the window.
After a while, Kim Munseong drew their attention.
“Home?”
Their eyes met through the rearview mirror. The question applied to both Cha Yiljoo and Euihyun. Glancing aside, Euihyun saw Cha Yiljoo had opened his eyes.
“To the agency first. My car’s there.”
Kim Munseong said, “Got it,” but kept watching the mirror, as if waiting for Euihyun’s answer. Euihyun hesitated. Going straight home would mean a long detour for everyone. He couldn’t impose that.
“I’ll go to the agency too…”
“Alright, then. I can drop you off, Euihyun.”
Cha Yiljoo added casually. Their eyes met instantly. He shouldn’t show it, but he couldn’t hide his dazed expression.
“Let’s do that, Euihyun.”
With a faint smile, Cha Yiljoo pressed his point. Taking it as decided, the van soon veered toward the agency.
They arrived at the office building shortly. The stylists gathered clothes and headed inside. Kim Munseong drove off to wash and refuel the van. Suddenly, only Cha Yiljoo and Euihyun remained in the parking lot.
Cha Yiljoo said, “Let’s go,” and opened his car door. The parked sedan’s lights flicked on. About to slide into the driver’s seat without hesitation, Cha Yiljoo paused. Euihyun stood rooted to the spot.
“Get in, Euihyun.”
“Uh, I…”
“……?”
“You go ahead, Yiljoo.”
It was at least a 40-minute drive home. Already uneasy, Euihyun didn’t want to owe him. Being alone with him in the car felt daunting. Even if Cha Yiljoo didn’t mind, Euihyun wasn’t sure he could stay composed. Showing any agitation would leave him stewing in regret.
Cha Yiljoo stared intently at the reluctant Euihyun. A similar moment had happened before. The cold gaze from then tightened around Euihyun again. Holding steady was tough. His eyes gradually drifted from Cha Yiljoo to the ground. A soft chuckle sounded.
“What? Another prior engagement?”
Euihyun looked at Cha Yiljoo, caught off guard. There was no edge in his tone. But perhaps it was his imagination—it sounded like sarcasm. The single syllable “another” gave the same words a different nuance.
Was he too transparent? It wasn’t surprising. Making his discomfort obvious without even a proper excuse. No creativity, no quick wit.
Cha Yiljoo continued to watch Euihyun silently. Unable to meet his gaze, Euihyun lowered his head, afraid his wavering eyes would betray him.
“Alright, then.”
He gave up on accompanying Euihyun without resistance. It was what Euihyun wanted, yet it didn’t feel relieving.
“I’ll go first.”
Cha Yiljoo smiled brightly and said goodbye. He climbed into the driver’s seat. With a click, the door closed, and the engine started. The sedan traced a smooth curve out of the parking area. Euihyun watched, dazed, then bowed belatedly. Cha Yiljoo’s sedan vanished from sight quickly.
A sigh escaped him. Being so conscious was pathetic enough, let alone being seen through. He felt truly ashamed in front of Cha Yiljoo.
After a long pause, he took heavy steps. Leaving the building, he headed toward the main road. Even if he’d take a taxi, he wanted to walk for a bit.
How much time passed? A sharp noise pierced his ears. A car horn. The blaring klaxon sent the area into sudden chaos. Euihyun paused and looked back. It seemed drivers were arguing on a one-way street.
About to look away, he froze. An unexpected shape caught his eye. Parked at the road’s edge was unmistakably Cha Yiljoo’s car. That sparked confusion. Hadn’t he left? His heart pounded inexplicably.
Was it a mistake? The moment Euihyun recognized and focused on Cha Yiljoo’s sedan, its still wheels began to move. It honked unhesitatingly at two cars blocking the way head-to-head. When the path finally cleared, it sped off down the road.
It must be a mistake. Resigning himself, Euihyun resumed walking. And so, the two drifted further apart in their respective directions.