PTK Ch 13
by soapaScrolling down, his hand suddenly stopped. His gaze was caught on a message box and wouldn’t move away.
Yes, good job:—)
He stroked each letter with his thumb. And then he realized it with agonizing clarity. It could never be the same as before. He could never go back to that time. Thinking so, a corner of his chest ached relentlessly.
“Cha Yiljoo, I’ll go again!”
The photographer checking the photos requested a retake. Cha Yiljoo immediately returned to the front of the camera. Even though the work continued far beyond the expected time, he didn’t show even a hint of the usual annoyance or boredom.
He was shooting the cover of a fashion magazine. Usually, an hour or two would have been enough. However, the shoot continued to drag on.
“Wait a minute.”
The photographer suddenly raised his hand. At the same time, the reflector was lowered. This time, he didn’t even check the results on the monitor. He just scratched his head for a while, as if choosing his words carefully.
“Your expression isn’t coming out well today. It feels like it’s almost there, but just not quite. Yiljoo, do you have something on your mind? You seem to be thinking too much. Let’s just focus one more time. Okay?”
“Okay.”
The photographer patted Cha Yiljoo’s shoulder and returned to his place. He tilted his head back slightly to release the tension. The back of his neck was stiff. He hadn’t slept poorly, nor was he sick anywhere, but his head felt heavy. The headache medicine he took in the morning was useless. Whenever and wherever the camera lights came on, only then did he completely forget reality. But for the past few days, it had been difficult.
Finally, the shoot ended after another hour. All the staff members looked exhausted. There was no energy in their voices as they said, “Good job.” Cha Yiljoo simply bowed briefly and headed straight to the dressing room. Most artists tended to do that, but because it was Cha Yiljoo, even that wasn’t ordinary.
Instead, Manager Han greeted each staff member individually. When he arrived at the dressing room later, Cha Yiljoo was removing his makeup. He lightly tapped Cha Yiljoo’s shoulder with the bottled water he was holding. Cha Yiljoo accepted it meekly and opened his eyes.
“Yiljoo, did something happen?”
“Why?”
“You don’t look well.”
“Not really.”
“Then are you sick somewhere?”
“Do I look like it?”
Fatigue was evident even in the way he smiled as if to say absolutely not.
“Why don’t you go to the hospital?”
“I told you I’m fine.”
“If you’re really fine, at least get a vitamin shot. You haven’t been eating properly lately, and you can’t concentrate either.”
“I’m just tired. Don’t worry too much, Manager. It’s more uncomfortable.”
He gently dismissed it and rose from his seat. The waiting staff helped him remove his outfit. Cha Yiljoo entrusted his body to others’ hands and stared blankly ahead. It was impossible to tell whether he was simply lost in thought or preoccupied with something else. It was impossible to know which part of him was unaffected.
Shaking his head, Manager Han asked for Cha Yiljoo’s opinion.
“The CEO told me to come in for a moment, should I tell him I’ll go next time?”
“Why bother?”
“Are you sure?”
Cha Yiljoo smiled at the worried Manager Han. It was a smile that seemed to scold him for being so fussy. Cha Yiljoo, quickly changed into his casual clothes, strode out of the dressing room.
“Let’s go.”
When they arrived at the CEO’s office, Simon Kim was hurrying to get ready to go out.
“I thought you weren’t coming because you didn’t contact me.”
He puts the coat he was about to wear back on the hanger. Cha Yiljoo sat down on the sofa on his own. He also tilted his head back to relax his tense body.
“Did the shoot finish well?”
“I got scolded a bit.”
“How come?”
“I couldn’t concentrate.”
“Why. Are you still thinking about that from before?”
“Well.”
“Just decide quickly. You see, the longer you drag out a problem, the further away you get from the right answer rather than closer to it. Timing is everything in this world.”
Cha Yiljoo smiled faintly with his eyes closed at the meaningful advice. Only Manager Han, sitting opposite, looked puzzled.
Simon Kim got straight to the point.
“I think it’s time for you to decide on your next project, so I called you in. Have you read all the works I picked out for you before?”
“Roughly.”
“How were they?”
“Well. They weren’t bad.”
“It’s not just about not being bad, you have to pick something you really like.”
He rebuked Cha Yiljoo’s indifferent attitude and turned his eyes to the other side.
“Manager Han, which work do you like?”
“Since his previous work was a movie, I think it would be good to try a spy genre drama this time. These days, there are many productions that are comparable to movies in terms of CG, action, editing, and even production budget. The story and characters are much more popular than the previous work, and the accessibility is incomparably higher, so I think it’s worth trying to broaden his range of activities.”
“That’s right, isn’t it? I told you. As I see it, there’s nothing better.”
“But didn’t Jung Euihyun also say he’s appearing in another company’s miniseries?”
“Yes. I heard Euihyun’s next project will be scheduled as a Monday-Tuesday drama.”
“Then the two works will likely be aired around the same time.”
“Is that a problem? Euihyun’s work is a Monday-Tuesday drama, and Yiljoo’s is a Wednesday-Thursday drama, so it shouldn’t matter. If there was one more actor, I wouldn’t mind filling up the weekend schedule as well, though.”
He jokingly reveals his ambition. Cha Yiljoo, who had been listening silently, chuckled and shook his head.
“Alright. I’ll check that one again as soon as I get back. If there’s nothing particularly objectionable, let’s go with that for my next project.”
It seemed like he wouldn’t handle it that way even if it were someone else’s business. As if that weren’t enough, just as Cha Yiljoo was about to get up, Simon Kim gestured for him to wait a moment. Then he took something out of the desk drawer.
“The critically acclaimed <Guilty> came out on DVD. Are you interested?”
“No need.”
“Then how about Euihyun’s work?”
As if he’d expected the immediate refusal, he held out the DVD of <Leaf Ring>. Cha Yiljoo looked at the case dangling in front of him and snatched it.
“That’s all you wanted to talk about, right?”
He asks pointedly, holding up the DVD. He was tired from the long shoot and just wanted to go home and rest. But Simon Kim looked at his wristwatch and said, “One more thing.”
“We have a company-wide dinner tonight. I think everyone’s gone to the second round after dinner by now. Euihyun said he’s joining soon too. Yiljoo, do you want to go?”
He asked, anticipating a refusal, but without much expectation. However, Cha Yiljoo, contrary to expectations, readily nodded.
“CEO, what are you doing here now?”
Jeers erupted as soon as they arrived at the second round venue.
“Isn’t it cool that the CEO is the last one to leave work? I even locked up myself, so instead of giving me a hard time like this, you should be cheering.”
Simon Kim responded nonchalantly as he looked for a place to sit. The employees deliberately gave the innermost seats to him and Cha Yiljoo.
Even though it was a company-wide dinner, the headcount wasn’t so large that everyone couldn’t fit in one room. The Korean office had only recently started its full operations, and even though they had recruited many people when they brought in Euihyun, it was still small compared to large agencies.
Of course, the small size had the advantage of not having much distance between the CEO and the regular employees. Also, because there were few members in each department, and most of them were hired through headhunting, there was little difference in experience. Titles existed only for convenience and didn’t imply a strict hierarchy. So horizontal exchange of opinions was possible at any time.
It wasn’t different when dealing with their artists. This was partly due to Cha Yiljoo’s inherent affability, but the staff also treated him comfortably as a colleague.
“I think this is the first time we’ve had a company dinner with Yiljoo.”
One employee offered a drink and opened the conversation.
“You’re right. I’ve only seen you at the office; this is the first time outside of work.”
“That’s because this is your first year working in Korea.”
Other staff members naturally added a word or two. Cha Yiljoo’s lips curled into a gentle smile.
“I didn’t intend to be so negligent, but I’ve been too remiss.”
“Well, then let’s have a drink first.”
Cha Yiljoo didn’t refuse the offered drink. He tilted the glass and slowly rolled his eyes. He scanned the faces sitting around the room, but Euihyun wasn’t there. He fixed his gaze for a moment on the empty seat. But after seeing an employee who had been away on business sit there, he looked away without regret.
He put down the empty glass and spoke first. Even conversations with strangers weren’t particularly difficult for Cha Yiljoo.
“How’s work? Isn’t it tough? I see you working late sometimes.”
“It would be a lie to say it’s not hard. But it’s rewarding to see the results of our work. It makes work worthwhile, so to speak. Honestly, before, despite being called the Korean branch, we were just providing secondary support for Yiljoo’s return and such. It feels like we’re finally doing proper work now.”
“Since the CEO compensates us well, I don’t think overtime is a big deal? Thanks to Yiljoo’s hard work, we received generous bonuses.”
“It can’t be because of me.”
“In a broad sense, it’s not wrong. You’re the one who brought Euihyun in, Yiljoo.”
Simon Kim, who was drinking one after another, subtly joined in. The staff, seemingly unaware of the inside story, all focused on Cha Yiljoo at once. Their eyes sparkled with keen interest.
“Really?”
“I happened to see Euihyun acting, and I couldn’t just leave him be. It would have been quite painful to give him to someone else.”
He replied casually, with a hint of playfulness. That alone didn’t seem to satisfy their curiosity. The staff began to ask openly.
“How do you know Euihyun? Were you close before?”
“I’ve been aware of him as an actor for a long time. Since before his debut, so it’s been a really long time.”
“That’s right. Unexpectedly, Euihyun’s acting career is longer, isn’t it?”
“So, were you impressed with Euihyun’s acting and kept an eye on him?”
Cha Yiljoo thought for a moment and smiled quietly.
“No. The first time I saw Euihyun’s acting, it wasn’t very special. It was somewhat rough, and there weren’t any particularly noticeable strengths. I saw him once and didn’t even remember his name.”
The staff responded with “Oh,” expressing their surprise. Simon Kim joined in and listened attentively to Cha Yiljoo’s story. He was inwardly intrigued because Cha Yiljoo had brushed it off when he’d asked previously.
“After that, there was no contact until I happened to meet him in a private setting. His face seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place him right away. It wasn’t until Euihyun told me his name that I remembered who he was and where I’d seen him. And after that, I had something to deliver to him, so I visited Euihyun’s filming set. When I saw him acting then, I was incredibly surprised. He seemed like a completely different person from the one I’d seen before. I wondered what had happened in the past few years; he had become formidable.”
He smiles, reminiscing about the past. Thinking about it again, if he hadn’t visited the filming set back then, he wouldn’t have taken an interest in Euihyun as an actor. He would have assumed Euihyun’s clumsy debut work was all he could do. If that were the case, the two of them might be in a completely different relationship now.
Simon Kim also chimed in, recalling that time.
“One day, Yiljoo barged into the office and told me to check out a drama. I wondered what was going on with him when he was busy enough taking care of himself. I decided to give it a shot and barely managed to watch it from the States, and at first, I wasn’t very impressed. A gentle-looking person playing a naive character is bound to have high synchronicity. But then, Euihyun completely changed his expression, and I knew, ‘This is it.’”
“What drama was it?”
“What was the title again?”
“It was <Monster>.”
The answer came from Cha Yiljoo. Most of the staff couldn’t recall the drama. They seemed to only know it as part of Euihyun’s filmography; none of them seemed to have actually seen it. Considering that it was an 8-episode series, aired at the end of the year, and ended without much buzz, it was a natural reaction. A few staff members belatedly searched for information about it and exclaimed that they definitely had to watch it.
It was around then.
“Did Euihyun arrive?”
A sharp voice cut through. Even though it wasn’t a loud voice, and even though no one around reacted immediately, Cha Yiljoo’s gaze flew straight to the door. He saw Euihyun bowing apologetically as he entered.
Simon Kim noticed him a beat later and waved his hand.
“Euihyun, your seat is here, here.”
He patted the seat next to him. Euihyun, who was about to sit at the end with his managers, hesitated with an embarrassed look. The employees moved slightly to the side to make room for him, making it impossible for him to refuse. He passed in front of them and repeatedly apologized, with a truly apologetic expression on his face.
After a while, he finally sat across from Cha Yiljoo. He carefully took off his coat and quietly exhaled. When his eyes met Cha Yiljoo’s, he just nodded silently. Cha Yiljoo simply smiled faintly.
The staff brought over glasses. Simon Kim mixed beer and soju half and half and handed it to Euihyun. He accepted it without refusal and drank it all at once. While wiping his wet lips, his eyes met Cha Yiljoo’s again. He kept his eyes fixed on Euihyun the whole time but didn’t say anything to him specifically.
He glanced around. They must have been having a conversation just now, but everyone had stopped talking and were just looking at Euihyun. Even Simon Kim was wearing a strange smile. Had they been talking about him? With so much attention focused on him, it was difficult to react in any way.
A staff member next to him throws Euihyun a lifeline.
“Where are you coming from?”
“I was at a script reading for my new project, and there was a company dinner there as well, so I just ate and left.”
“Oh, it’s not easy to double-dip. You’re a loyal guy, Euihyun.”
“Then did you see Min Ahyun?”
“Yes? Yes, of course…”
Several staff members exchanged meaningful smiles amongst themselves. Euihyun and other staff members were perplexed, not knowing what was going on.
“What’s going on?”
“What is it?”
“Euihyun’s casting this time. There’s a rumor that it was Min Ahyun’s recommendation.”
“Oh my, really?”
“Yes. Originally, another actor was supposed to play the role, but they had to drop out suddenly due to personal reasons. While they were looking for a replacement, Min Ahyun strongly recommended Euihyun.”
Playful cheers erupt at the unexpected romantic vibe. The female staff lean towards Euihyun and start asking him questions.
“How was it? Did you talk to Min Ahyun?”
“Didn’t she tell you why she recommended you?”
“Isn’t Min Ahyun pretty? It seems like she doesn’t age at all.”
He just smiled awkwardly at the repeated questions. His eyes met Cha Yiljoo’s again in the midst of it. Cha Yiljoo, who had been watching Euihyun expressionlessly, put down his empty glass and stretched his lips into a long smile. It was a smile whose meaning was impossible to gauge. After that, he continued to chat with the staff around him, but he didn’t speak to Euihyun separately. Euihyun also consciously turned his eyes to Simon Kim. Just then, he offered him a drink. He silently accepted the offered drink and greeted him.
“Thank you today.”
“For what?”
“You sent all sorts of things to the practice room.”
“Ah, that?”
Everyone’s eyes were curious at the somewhat cryptic conversation. A staff member from the public relations department, who must have actually prepared the snacks, explained instead.
“We sent coffee and dessert to the script practice room as per the CEO’s instructions.”
“I had dinner with another agency CEO the other day, and he said you have to take good care of your actor so they’re treated well wherever they go.”
Simon Kim boasted proudly. The listeners burst into laughter. Euihyun had an ambiguous expression.
“Why are you all laughing?”
“CEO, you don’t use the word ‘naejo’ like that.”
“Doesn’t it mean supporting someone to do a good job?”
“That’s true, but it’s a word used between married couples. When a wife supports her husband.”
Simon Kim finally realized the mistake and laughed heartily. He also explained that he didn’t mean it in any strange way. But the staff teased him playfully, asking if he had secretly gotten married or something. Amidst that boisterous atmosphere, only Cha Yiljoo quietly emptied his glass.
As is the case with most drinking parties, the topic of conversation kept changing. Each time, Euihyun listened to people’s stories and sipped his drink. Cha Yiljoo also chimed in with appropriate comments. He also occasionally watched Euihyun’s fingertips as he picked out only banana chips from the dried snacks. However, the two didn’t speak directly to each other.
As the atmosphere ripened, empty seats began to appear here and there. The smell of alcohol in the room became stronger, and the door opened and closed constantly. Euihyun also subtly got up from his seat. Simon Kim, with slurred speech, called out to him.
“Huh? Where are you going, Euihyun?”
“I’m just going to the restroom for a moment.”
He answered politely and carefully slipped through the sprawling people. Cha Yiljoo watched intently until he opened the door and went out. If Simon Kim hadn’t suddenly held out a bottle of alcohol, he would have continued doing so for a while longer.
“Yiljoo, you drink.”
“Alright.”
Cha Yiljoo obediently accepted the beer. He also filled Simon Kim’s glass. However, what he poured wasn’t beer, but whiskey. Simon Kim, unaware of this, gulped down a considerable amount of whiskey. And then he slumped over the table.
More time passed, but Euihyun didn’t appear. There were some people who left the dinner party without saying anything. If it were anyone else, he would have thought that’s what happened. But Euihyun wasn’t the type to do that. Unless something had happened that prevented him from returning quickly.
He suddenly got up. On the way out, he subtly showed a cigarette to Manager Han. Manager Han nodded, signaling him to go ahead. He left the noisy room and went outside the restaurant. He glanced around the hallway on the way, but Euihyun was nowhere to be seen.
The cold air pleasantly cooled his skin. His alcohol-soaked lungs took in plenty of fresh air. He took out a cigarette and put it between his dry lips. He lit it familiarly and took a deep drag. Puffy smoke rose into the darkened sky.
He was just about to tap off the white ash when he heard a thick gagging sound from somewhere.
“Ugh…”
He turned his head unconsciously. A familiar back came into view. It was Euihyun. He’d wondered where he’d gone, but he was patting the back of an employee who was throwing up in front of a street tree.
The sour smell of vomit drifted to where Cha Yiljoo was standing. Despite that, Euihyun quietly stayed by the employee’s side and asked, “Are you okay?” He quickly handed a bottle of water to the employee, who collapsed on the ground, exhausted.
He took another drag of his cigarette and observed a little longer. Euihyun patiently exchanged a few words with the employee, then put the employee’s arm around his shoulder and helped him up. Then he supported him and led him back into the restaurant. Cha Yiljoo, who had been silently watching the scene, threw the now-shortened butt into the trash can. He fiddled with his cigarettes, wondering whether to have another one.
“Watch your step.”
Euihyun’s voice was heard again soon after. Turning around, wondering if it could be him, he saw two figures walking out. It was Euihyun and his stylist, Jung Ijin. Jung Ijin already looked like she was having trouble standing. She looked unsteady even just standing there, and her legs buckled as soon as she took a step. Thanks to Euihyun quickly grabbing her, she barely avoided scraping her knees. Euihyun looked intently at the giggling Jung Ijin and asked if she could walk any further. Jung Ijin nodded repeatedly. He helped her up, minimizing physical contact, only holding her arm. Then he carefully guided her towards the road. As he passed the two slow figures and shifted his gaze, he saw a taxi already waiting.
He opened the back door and held the door frame with his hand. Jung Ijin, who was stumbling, eventually bumped her head on Euihyun’s hand. He properly seated her as she slumped over and carefully fastened her seatbelt.
“Please drive safely.”
He closed the door after repeatedly asking the driver. The taxi slowly picked up speed and merged into the passing traffic. Euihyun immediately took out his cell phone and checked something. It seemed like he was repeatedly checking the information on the taxi app. He slowly turned around, still not taking his eyes off the screen. He would probably continue to do so until Jung Ijin arrived home safely.
A smile spread across Cha Yiljoo’s lips. His gaze lingered unconsciously, and just watching him made him feel good. That’s what Jung Euihyun was like.
Euihyun, who was absentmindedly looking up, suddenly stopped. He seemed to have finally noticed Cha Yiljoo. Cha Yiljoo stared at him through the rising smoke. Euihyun, too, stood frozen in place, unable to take his eyes off Cha Yiljoo. He looked surprised. He seemed quite bewildered.
They had often run into each other like this before. No, whenever they were in the same space, he almost always made eye contact with Euihyun. But now, he felt something quite different. It was because Euihyun’s attitude had clearly changed. Before, the undisguised joy and happiness were visible in his eyes, but now, he couldn’t find any such emotion in his stiff face. Instead, he could only see awkwardness or extreme tension.
Was it natural?
“…”
“…”
The time they spent facing each other in silence grew longer. The psychological experience was more than double. It was Euihyun who couldn’t bear the awkward silence. He bowed his head towards Cha Yiljoo and quickly disappeared back inside the restaurant.
He threw his lit cigarette to the ground. Force went into the tips of his toes as he ground out the butt. Was it because of the smoking? He felt an unknown thirst, enough to make him furious.
He entered the restaurant as if fleeing. His heart pounded wildly. Cha Yiljoo’s expression, which he had met by chance, was vividly imprinted in his mind. His face had been stiff the whole time. It didn’t seem like he was drunk at all, considering the amount of alcohol he’d consumed.
They hadn’t exchanged a single word during the entire dinner, but he hadn’t openly expressed any discomfort. He even smiled faintly when their eyes met.
But whenever they were alone, he became undeniably awkward and embarrassed. At those moments, Cha Yiljoo didn’t feign composure either. He was clearly conscious of it too. How long would they have to endure this situation? His heart felt heavy with the indefinite suffering.
Dejected, he trudged along, looking only at the floor. Before long, someone called out, “Jung Euihyun,” acknowledging him. It was Manager Han.
“Have you seen Yiljoo by any chance?”
“He was outside.”
“Is that so?”
Manager Han nodded and strode in the direction Euihyun had come from. He seemed to be about to leave. He felt a sense of regret. He opened the closed door and entered the room.
The thick smell of alcohol stung his nose. The remaining people were dozing off, leaning against whatever they could. There was no one sober to be found.
He was hesitating, wondering if he should return to his original seat, when an employee, groping the floor as if searching for something, suddenly grabbed Euihyun.
“Have you seen my phone? I just got a new one.”
He complained, saying it was nowhere to be found. He was already so drunk that he couldn’t see an inch in front of him. His clothes were a mess from how much he had been sweeping across the table and floor.
“I’ll look for it. Please rest for a moment.”
“My phoooone…”
He seated the whining man on the sofa and went outside. He thoroughly scanned the dim hallway. He even went to the restroom and checked the floor, next to the toilet, under the sink, and everywhere. But the phone was nowhere to be found. Wondering if the man had gone outside, he slightly opened the entrance door.
Then he stopped abruptly. Manager Han and Cha Yiljoo were standing outside the entrance. As he was hurriedly turning around, their conversation reached his ears.
“Shouldn’t we go in and say goodbye?”
“Let’s just go. Everyone seems drunk.”
“Why suddenly?”
“I’m a bit uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable? Where?”
Cha Yiljoo didn’t answer. His heart suddenly pounded heavily. The surrounding noise faded, and his ears felt muffled.
What was he uncomfortable with? His body? Or the atmosphere? If it wasn’t either of those…
‘…What should I do? My schedule will probably end late today.’
‘I had a photoshoot. I’m on my way to drop Yiljoo off at home and stop by the company.’
That time a few days ago too.
‘Did you come to work out too, Euihyun?’
‘I’ll get going first. See you next time, Euihyun.’
‘Why? I thought you were going to work out?’
‘I changed my mind.’
That time too.
‘I resented you. I wondered if you didn’t care if I was ruined, if I was completely broken.’
And that time too.
Come to think of it, Cha Yiljoo had expressed discomfort quite often. He just hadn’t realized it because Cha Yiljoo didn’t completely ignore him. Or perhaps he had deliberately pretended not to know, wanting to avoid him. Maybe he wanted to believe that things were still okay, that their relationship wasn’t completely broken.
If he had considered Cha Yiljoo’s position, if he had had the mind to consider him first, he should have avoided him on his own. He had pushed Cha Yiljoo into an uncomfortable situation and continued to linger around him, using the excuse that it wasn’t his intention. A belated sense of guilt washed over him.
“Jung Euihyun?”
He flinched at being called so suddenly. Manager Han and Cha Yiljoo were looking back at him. His mind went blank for a moment. He hadn’t intended to, but he had completely overheard them.
Manager Han looked at his wristwatch and asked without suspicion.
“Are you leaving now?”
“No. Someone said they lost their phone, so…”
He quickly made an excuse. It wasn’t a false excuse either. Meanwhile, Cha Yiljoo turned his head to the other side, putting a cigarette in his mouth again. His sharp profile looked quite cold. It seemed like what he was uncomfortable with wasn’t anything else. Just because he acted like he was fine didn’t mean he actually was.
He was about to say goodbye and turn around, lest his gloom be revealed, when, unexpectedly, Manager Han offered a clue about the phone.
“Speaking of phones, I saw one on my way out. I don’t know if it’s the one you’re looking for, but I left it at the counter, so check it out.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“Why should Euihyun be thankful? And we’ll go in first.”
“Ah, yes. Have a good night.”
He bowed his head. Cha Yiljoo exhaled cigarette smoke and smiled faintly. He bowed to him again and went inside.
Fortunately, the phone Manager Han had left was the right one. He received it and headed to the room. As he opened the closed door, a woman stood right in front of him. It was Simon Kim’s executive assistant. They greeted each other as soon as their eyes met.
“I think we need to tidy up the room. If you don’t mind, could you help me?”
Indeed, if no one took care of them, they looked like they would spend the night there. Not only Simon Kim, but even Park Hanyoung was unconscious. He agreed without hesitation.
Simon Kim’s assistant immediately called the necessary number of designated drivers and taxis. When the cars arrived, she divided the people by their residential areas and put them in the taxis. She also handed the drivers notes with each person’s address, asking them to drop them off in the order they were seated. She also handed the designated drivers the car keys and received their account information for payment. Everything went smoothly.
After sending the employees off, only Simon Kim and Park Hanyoung, who had his arm slung around Simon Kim almost forcibly, remained. Both of them were completely asleep. Simon Kim’s assistant took a breath.
“The CEO’s car is waiting outside. Let’s take that car together…”
“No. I’ll take Manager home.”
“But still…”
“It’ll be quick by taxi. You don’t have to worry.”
He declined firmly. Simon Kim had a separate driver. No matter how spacious his car was, it was impossible for five adults to ride together. Moreover, it would be a waste of time to stop by each of their homes.
“Then will you do that?”
The assistant didn’t force the issue. The driver called by the assistant soon arrived at the room. The two of them quite expertly took Simon Kim away.
Only then did Euihyun approach the sleeping Park Hanyoung.
“Manager, you have to go home.”
He tried to shake his shoulder, but Park Hanyoung only let out deep, even breaths. He was used to being meticulously taken care of by him, but it was the first time he saw him so relaxed. His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, and his expression was peacefully softened. A bashful smile spread across Euihyun’s face.
His phone rang. It seemed like the taxi he had called had arrived. He pulled Park Hanyoung’s arm and carried him on his back. He also carefully picked up Park Hanyoung’s phone, which had been rolling around on the table. He gave the entire back seat of the taxi to Park Hanyoung and sat in the passenger seat. He finally breathed a sigh of relief after informing the driver of the destination once again. Beads of sweat had formed on his forehead.
He was just taking out a handkerchief to wipe his face when his phone suddenly vibrated. Euihyun checked the arrived message and tilted his head.
「I enjoyed myself after such a long time. Get home safe.」
Judging by the content alone, it seemed like it was from someone who had been at the dinner. But it wasn’t a registered number. He couldn’t even tell if it was from the drama team or a company employee. He searched his contact list just in case, but there were no similar numbers. He felt awkward asking who it was to someone who had thoughtfully sent him a message. Should he reply vaguely?
While he was pondering, he felt another vibration. This time, it wasn’t from Euihyun’s phone. He looked down at Park Hanyoung’s phone in a daze. The content of the message was displayed on the pop-up screen.
“…Oh.”
He hesitated as he was about to turn off the screen. A low exclamation escaped his lips without him realizing it. The message Park Hanyoung had received was identical to the one he had just received. That wasn’t the only reason he was surprised.
The sender’s name displayed on the message caught his eye. The three letters, Cha Yiljoo, clearly entered his sight. But the number was completely different from the one Euihyun knew. Suddenly, a wave of emotion surged in his quiet heart. What was going on?
A sudden, unknown sense of déjà vu washed over him. At the same time, an ominous premonition stiffened his neck.
‘Um, the message…’
‘It’s okay. It’s not even mine.’
Why was he suddenly reminded of the time he had coincidentally gotten a ride in Manager Han’s car?
‘It’s kind of for work. As you go about your business, you need to manage your contacts, whether they’re related to work or fellow artists. It’ll be convenient for you too, Jung Euihyun, to separate your professional and personal contacts. Well, it’s not very personable.’
The question wasn’t clearly formulated. Nevertheless, his intuition made a premature judgment. Cha Yiljoo was keeping his distance.
When they met, he didn’t avoid him, and they exchanged a word or two, but there was nothing special. He treated Euihyun the same as everyone else and never crossed the line. He was no longer even a friend to him.
He stared blankly at the message and then dropped his head. He gave up on replying and just gripped his innocent phone tightly. His tense fingertips turned white.
If this was what Cha Yiljoo wanted, he would gladly comply. He didn’t want to bother him or burden him any longer. It would be difficult now, but he would gradually adapt. He was now accustomed to being alone and resigned. So it was all okay.
He showered as soon as he got home. He took a can of beer from the refrigerator and sat on the sofa. The cold beer gave him a refreshing feeling.
He checked his phone out of habit. There was nothing particularly noticeable. Had Euihyun gone home by now? He thought about sending him a message and looked for his number. But he soon changed his mind. It felt strange to contact him now after not saying a word at the dinner party.
“…”
He scrolled through his recent calls meaninglessly. Even after scrolling for a while, Euihyun’s name wasn’t there. Just a few weeks ago, it had been all him. As the objective indicator showed, their relationship had been stagnant. After that day, Euihyun had thought about escaping whenever they met. And today too.
He quickly lost interest. He tossed aside his phone, which seemed to have forgotten how to ring. He took another sip of beer when the DVD placed on the table caught his eye. He had received it from Simon Kim when he went to the office.
He had wanted to watch it for a while. It was Euihyun’s work, and it was the piece that finally made the audience recognize him. But because of his schedule, he couldn’t even go to the premiere, let alone the theater. After the screening ended, he hadn’t had time to think about it because of various things with Euihyun.
Next to the DVD was the script he had promised to read again. If he had to sacrifice sleep, it would be much more productive to invest it in that. He wasn’t drunk, but his head felt quite heavy.
Nevertheless, he picked up the DVD without hesitation. He removed the thin disc and inserted it into the player. After waiting for a while, the movie started. Cha Yiljoo’s upper body leaned forward as Euihyun appeared.
A peaceful countryside scene unfolded. Euihyun walked out into the yard, scratching his messy hair. He swept the floor with a broom and moved the flowerpots to a sunny spot. Cha Yiljoo’s lips stretched into a long smile at the unfamiliar yet familiar sight.
The movie flowed relentlessly, reaching its climax. The main characters, who had barely reunited, disappeared into the room, and Euihyun was left alone in the yard. Following his gaze, the screen was filled with tangled and scattered shoes.
Euihyun picked up the woman’s shoe and pulled at his t-shirt. Then he gently wiped off the dirt and weeds stuck to the shoe. As the thin t-shirt pulled, the bones of his back were fully revealed. His sharply defined shoulder blades rippled smoothly with even small movements. Cha Yiljoo’s eyes rolled slowly and intensely.
Euihyun stood next to the now-clean woman’s shoe. Then he pulled back his mismatched foot. He gently placed the man’s shoe in that spot. A close-up of Euihyun’s face as he quietly looked down at the two shoes, finally paired, appeared. A faint smile mixed with lingering affection and resignation. Cha Yiljoo watched the scene, forgetting to even breathe.
The next moment, the screen switched to the confrontation scene between the main characters. He immediately picked up the remote control and pressed the rewind button. The screen quickly rewound and stopped at the scene where Euihyun was looking down at the two shoes. The scenes that had already passed appeared on the screen one after another. Cha Yiljoo persistently followed Euihyun’s every move.
The same scene played over and over again. If it were a videotape instead of a DVD, that section would have surely stretched out. Euihyun’s silent, unrequited love held Cha Yiljoo captive and wouldn’t let him go.
Was this how he loved? Was he someone who loved like this?
He had seen many sides of Euihyun until now. He also knew all of his hidden circumstances that no one else knew. Despite that, he could hardly imagine him in love. Even though the way he loved, shown on screen, was so like him.
‘Why are they making a fuss now? Euihyun was always like that, wasn’t he?’
‘Jung Euihyun was? I don’t really know.’
Perhaps it was because he was too used to it. His behavior, tone of voice, eyes, and smile. Because he had taken each and every one of them for granted from the beginning. Euihyun’s feelings might have started much earlier than he had imagined. So much so that he couldn’t even realize that was what Euihyun looked like when he was truly in love.
‘I believe that to act properly, you have to understand the character to the bone.’
‘I agree with that.’
His eyes, which had been focused on Euihyun, wavered slightly. The quiet love Euihyun expressed in the movie was exactly the same as how Cha Yiljoo had always seen him.
‘…I like you.’
The expression on Euihyun’s face from that day, when he had stepped back with a faint smile, overlapped with Euihyun’s face on screen. He felt a sense of overwhelming emotion.
“Where should I drop you off?”
He suddenly came to his senses. He hurriedly looked around. The taxi had already passed his destination by a long shot. He hadn’t even fallen asleep, but he hadn’t realized they had arrived. He must have been lost in thought without realizing it.
“I’m sorry. Could you drop me off up ahead?”
The taxi stopped after coming down the hill. He paid the fare and got out, and his stifled breath was released. Perhaps it was because of the alcohol, but the cool night air felt refreshing.
The alley, with the taxi gone, was immersed in deep darkness. The streetlights, sparsely placed, illuminated the cherry blossoms fluttering down one by one. The quiet surroundings created a tranquil atmosphere. He slowly walked beneath them.
His steps were slower than usual because he felt like he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep easily. He should have drunk more if he had known. Then he could have fallen asleep without thinking. Even if he thought and thought, nothing would change. He knew this clearly, but he kept thinking about it, which was frustrating.
Even though he had stalled as much as he could, he arrived in front of his villa all too soon. He entered the building and picked up the bills stuck in his mailbox. Euihyun, who was walking while checking his mail, stopped abruptly. He had spotted a flickering figure as the sensor light turned on.
“…?”
He wasn’t expecting anyone. It wasn’t early enough for someone to visit his house without notice. Then… His quiet heart began to race. He thought, ‘It can’t be,’ but a foolish hope crept in.
While he hesitated, the light went out. The surroundings became dim again. He took a deep breath and slowly started walking. As the light came back on, the other person also sensed his presence and looked towards the mailbox. Their eyes met as always. It was a face he definitely knew, but it took quite a while for him to fully register it in his mind.
“…Oh.”
A completely unexpected person was waiting for him in front of his door.
Why was he here?
A single question filled his mind. At the same time, he couldn’t think of anything else. His body was frozen stiff.
Looking at the surprised Euihyun, the other person smiled awkwardly.
“You’re here now?”
It was him. The one now buried and lost in the past.