PUCKD Ch 44

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 2 years ago

The dorms are changing to 2 people per room. Maybe this is better… The training here is fun, but being alone in the dorm is hard

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 2 years ago

Mom sent a ton of Korean snacks and side dishes. About half the snacks were stolen, but no one is interested in the side dishes lol fools lol my mom’s braised quail eggs and shredded squid are the best, I’m gonna eat them all by myself~

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 2 years ago

My jersey number is 86. The front office told me to pick from the remaining numbers, and my Korean friend said that to not seem small in stature in a foreign country, a chubby number looks bigger than numbers like 7 or 11, so I chose it. Now, I like my back number so much that I feel good just seeing 86 written somewhere.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 2 years ago

But the back numbers of my Korean friends who told me that are 11 and 12 lol when I played with them, I was 13 lol

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 2 years ago

Someone asked me why 86 is in my ID, so I rambled on ^—^;;;

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 2 years ago

So XXing cold. Cold enough to make you curse. Taught my roommate some Korean curse words and learned some Swedish ones too. Tusen Också?? lol

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 2 years ago

It’s my birthday, so I had a long video call with my Korean friends for the first time in a while. Seeing them in their school uniforms felt a bit strange. Last year, I was wearing that uniform too.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 2 years ago

I have to work hard.

Finding Shin Hojae’s social media account was a coincidence.

He was curious about the Asian player in the CHL* and was searching around when he found a picture of uniform pants with the number 86 and an ice rink. It was the account of the 18-year-old Shin Hojae.

*Canadian Hockey League

It was a little later that he learned he had a past connection with him. Shin Hojae was the very player he had personally asked his grandfather to sponsor. It was when Junghyun was 15, and Shin Hojae was 9.

At that time, Junghyun had just been incorporated into Myungjung and was enjoying lavish support and benefits as a prospective heir.

The first chairman, Kwon Deukjung, had been sponsoring athletes for a long time. Thanks to that, Junghyun had the luxury of watching sports games, which he had never seen before, from the VIP seats.

It was the first time he had seen an ice hockey game played by kids. At that time, his grandfather had revealed that he was thinking of sponsoring one person from this team and had told Junghyun to choose one himself.

He had chosen Shin Hojae without much thought at the time. It was because his skills were so outstandingly superior.

It was a strange connection. To meet a player who was playing and studying hockey all the way in Canada thanks to him, again in this distant land. A strange sense of superiority and curiosity arose at the same time.

At the time, Junghyun’s life in America was very empty and boring, so it was a very natural progression for the time he spent on social media to gradually increase.

Creating an ID with the name 86 was also a very impulsive decision.

A private space with 0 followers and 1 following. Junghyun began to write replies there, all by himself.

86 @86_luck_number

(photo)(photo)(photo)(photo)

Pictures I took because I saw 86 while passing by. Two of them are mixed in with other numbers. Ever since I knew it was someone’s lucky number, I feel good for no reason when I find it. I wish you all the luck.

86 @86_luck_number

It’s not that cold where I am yet, but when I checked the weather app, Canada is very cold. I hope you don’t catch a cold. I wish you all the luck.

86 @86_luck_number

Speaking of Swedish curse words, I once heard a German friend at school curse. When I asked what it meant, he said it was just ‘shit’. Don’t you think Korean curse words are the harshest in the world? haha

86 @86_luck_number

(photo)

It’s your birthday. I was in a bad mood today, so I drank a lot and came home, so I checked too late. I rushed outside, but the only place open was the smallest deli, so I picked something that looked the most like a cake. It’s a cheap brownie, but it looks decent with a candle in it, right? Happy birthday. I wish you all the luck.

Shin Hojae probably didn’t even know this account existed. But it didn’t matter.

When he rambled on, and he replied in turn, it felt like they were having a conversation with a time lag.

Just that alone brought vitality to his bland daily life. Wasn’t this the reason why people in the old days had pen pals?

Junghyun would log onto social media as soon as he woke up in the morning and right before he went to sleep, and he would smile slightly whenever he saw the number 86 on the street. He would often take pictures of it too.

On the morning of a game, he would get so nervous himself that he would keep looking at the clock. If they lost, he would get upset and drink heavily, and if they won, he would feel good and buy drinks for people around him for no reason.

Someone told Junghyun that if he liked that player so much, he should try using his vast amount of money. With luck, he might even be able to meet him and go on a date.

But Junghyun hesitated. Firstly, he was afraid that if he did something unnecessary while in exile, it might harm his mother back in Korea, and secondly, he was happy enough with this relationship.

From a very young age that he could remember, Junghyun had been raised to become a perfect alpha.

Even if his mother starved and wore ragged clothes, she made sure Junghyun had a perfect meal and wore nice clothes every day.

The words Junghyun heard most from his mother at the time were, ‘You never know when your father might suddenly come looking for you, so you must always be prepared.’

From the age of 5, he had a perfectly tailored suit made every year, and if it became even a little short, the sleeves were extended and a new one was made. If there was even a speck of dirt on Junghyun’s shoes, his mother would kneel on the dirt floor herself and wipe the toe.

Seeing such a mother, people around them would shake their heads, saying she was crazy, but neither his mother nor Junghyun paid any mind to such words.

He believed that, just as his mother said, his rich father would come to find him and his mother someday. For that time, he had to become a son his father wouldn’t be ashamed of. A perfect alpha son.

He had grown up like that for 16 years.

So, Junghyun, who had been deprived of that goal, could be nothing.

His father wanted Junghyun not to have any interest in anything. It was because he shouldn’t be a threat to his brother who would become the heir.

Junghyun was not supposed to get very good grades in his studies, nor was he supposed to show any special talent for anything.

In this distant foreign land, all he could do was buy clothes and luxury goods he wouldn’t even wear, get drunk, and try not to pay attention to anything, and thus constantly confirm to his family that he was a ‘useless being’.

His mother still often asked if there were any signs of presentation, but if he said there were none, she would show a voice of relief.

He could understand her. She was sitting in the position she had longed for her entire life, and she would never want to give it up.

He always felt sorry for his mother. The guilt for her having dedicated her youth to a child who couldn’t become an alpha, the guilt for still not being an alpha and making his mother anxious. All these things always weighed heavily on Junghyun’s chest.

Shin Hojae was the complete opposite of him.

He was a dominant alpha who had presented at a young age, had a clear goal and talent, and was very close with his family. He had everything that he wanted but couldn’t have.

Seeing such a Shin Hojae playing as if his whole body would break during a game sometimes sparked a vague sense of jealousy.

If Junghyun had only seen the external image of Shin Hojae, his interest might have ended there.

But Junghyun knew his account.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 1 year ago

Starting today, I’m a second-division player. I defended my back number too haha My family was disappointed that they couldn’t celebrate with me. Everything here is really good, but it’s hard to be away from my family.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 1 year ago

Just working hard isn’t enough. I have to be good.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 6 months ago

I wasn’t in good condition today, so I made some mistakes… I got yelled at by the coach, and on top of that, I heard the audience curse at me with racist words, so I was really angry. Ah, at times like this, I just want to quit everything and go back to Korea.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 6 months ago

In the end, I was notified that I would be taken out of the starting lineup for the next game. My teammates comforted me, saying it was a shame, but I’m sure they were thinking of it as an opportunity for them to shine. I know because I was like that too. It’s hard to open up when you think of everyone as a competitor.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin 6 months ago

I didn’t tell my parents. If I tell them, it’ll just make them worry… I cried a little alone after hanging up the phone. I’m depressed.

Surprisingly, Shin Hojae was often depressed and lonely, alone in a strange land. Even the seemingly perfect him had times when he felt empty and lonely, just like him.

Shin Hojae, who has everything I don’t have, is just like me.

Perhaps it was because of his twisted personality, but thinking about that was strangely comforting.

86 @86_luck_number

When you live abroad alone for a long time, don’t you get really emotional out of nowhere? On those days, I lock myself in my room, drink my favorite alcohol, and watch a sad movie. Then you can cry until it feels like all the moisture in your body has drained out. That’s how you get the energy to live another day. I recommend it. I wish you all the luck.

Junghyun loved the vulnerability he possessed.

He was still a stranger who belonged nowhere, and he was still bound to Myungjung and his mother, but still, thinking of Shin Hojae, who was struggling together in the same foreign land and yet living diligently, somehow he could get through another day.

It was a short while after that that an imbalance occurred in that one-sided and comfortable relationship.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin

Recommend me some sad movies.

Lucky Shin @luck_86_shin

It’s a day where I want to cry until all the moisture in my body has drained out. You all have days like that, right?