RFL Ch 5

“What’s the point of living like that?”

“Ha…”

Sometimes, Song Jaeyi was like a child throwing a tantrum in front of a toy he wanted. No matter how much Sooin tried to distract or appease him, it was useless. He would lie down and whine until he got the answer he wanted. Knowing the pattern all too well, Sooin decided to give him a perfunctory answer.

“It’s good to get along, at least superficially. It’s better to be on good terms.”

He muttered, opening his textbook. Another question immediately followed.

“What’s so good about getting on his good side?”

“It’s not about getting on his good side, it’s about anyone. It’s more beneficial than openly being enemies. For grades, for jobs.”

“Is that all you gain from acting two-faced and living a fake life?”

Now it was clear he wasn’t asking a question, but picking a fight. Sooin often forgot that Jaeyi wouldn’t stop unless he was put in his place. He chuckled and looked at Song Jaeyi.

“Well… Isn’t it better than someone who’s just bluntly honest with no social skills?”

“…”

“Making everyone uncomfortable while you’re the only one who feels good. Isn’t that also a kind of sociopathy?”

“Are you talking about me?”

Jaeyi’s long, dark eyes narrowed. Having perfectly understood the insult, his pink lips pouted. Sooin smiled faintly and tapped the back of Jaeyi’s hand.

“Really? If it’s about you, Hyung will teach you. How to be two-faced. Or in other words, how to have social skills.”

“…I have no social skills?”

“Being honest is good, but you should be more tactful.”

“…How?”

“Well. I’ll teach you if you pay me enough.”

The professor entered just then, forcing him to lower his voice. His whispered words sounded like a wicked wolf tempting an innocent child, especially since Song Jaeyi quickly recoiled.

The words “I’m so annoyed” were written all over his pale face. For some reason, Song Jaeyi’s provocations always ended like this. Jaeyi was always the one who started the fight, but he was also the one who ended up frowning. It must be because of his feelings. He acted like he didn’t care, but he was a softie.

Sooin decided to push it a little further.

“Jaeyi, you said you hate two-faced people.”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you always following your two-faced Hyung around? Are you interested in me?”

Screech, the sound of a chair scraping against the floor echoed loudly through the classroom. All eyes turned to Song Jaeyi, who had abruptly stood up, pushing his chair back forcefully. Even the professor was startled, his eyes wide.

Song Jaeyi wasn’t one for excuses. This time too, he simply stared at Sooin with a slightly furrowed, reddened face before leaving the classroom. Even his footsteps were loud as he left. I thought the floor was going to break… someone murmured.

With the target of their attention gone, all eyes turned to Sooin. On behalf of the childish giant, Sooin smiled apologetically.

“I’m sorry.”

Only then did the professor begin taking attendance.

❤︎₊ ⊹

Professor Kwak announced that the midterm exam for “Hotel Banquet Planning” would be replaced by a group project presentation. Attendance was only worth 20%, and there were no other assignments. This meant the group project grade would essentially be their entire grade.

The weekend before the momentous presentation, Sooin’s team gathered at a 24-hour cafe. Located right in front of the station, it was busy even late at night. The staff behind the counter looked exhausted.

So Sooin ordered an Americano. He didn’t usually drink caffeine this late, and his empty stomach churned, but he couldn’t help it. He had just finished cleaning the smoothie blenders with an expression similar to the cafe staff’s.

“Wow! This is the first time the four of us have gathered outside of school, isn’t it?”

Yiso cheerfully launched her attack as soon as they sat down. It seemed she’d decided to become the sniper herself. Pyo Hyungyeon, unusually quiet, gave an awkward laugh.

Sooin smiled faintly and took out the presentation script. The proactive Yiso opened the PowerPoint slides on her tablet. He pushed both towards Pyo Hyungyeon. Everyone else had already memorized the content.

“Jaeyi will present this part, then Yiso, and I’ll present the rest.”

“Okay.”

“It would be good for your cooperation score if you could present this part, Sunbae. We’ll handle most of the questions.”

“Got it. Hey, you guys did a great job. I did read the script you sent yesterday.”

Pyo Hyungyeon was smiling a lot today. He boasted needlessly, praising their work as if seeking validation. It was unnatural, but no one pointed it out. It was much better than his usual nonsensical ramblings that silenced everyone.

“Sunbae, why don’t you read this part? I’ll explain anything you don’t understand.”

“Oh! I can speed-read, I’ll be done in no time.”

“Okay. While you read, we’ll review the potential questions.”

“Sure.”

Pyo Hyungyeon, unusually enthusiastic today, hunched over the script and read. A focused murmur followed. Yiso’s eyes widened at his serious expression, which resembled a student preparing for the September mock exam.

“Sunbae, are you feeling okay…?”

Even at Yiso’s question, now a full-fledged sniper, Pyo Hyungyeon remained steadfast. No, why? His plain, simple reply was very unlike him.

Just then, Song Jaeyi gently touched Sooin’s wrist. Sooin looked over, and Jaeyi whispered.

“Did you actually strangle him?”

His narrowed eyes, filled with genuine suspicion, were absurd. Sooin chuckled silently and rested his chin on the table. Under the table, he gently pressed down on Song Jaeyi’s large foot and extended his middle finger towards Jaeyi’s face.

At first, Song Jaeyi just stared blankly at Sooin, as if asking what he was doing. He didn’t seem to understand Sooin’s intentions at all, so Sooin rubbed his middle finger against Jaeyi’s other eyebrow.

“Then, Jaeyi, shall we start with your questions?”

He asked with a bright smile. Song Jaeyi finally chuckled, seemingly noticing the conspicuously positioned middle finger. He let out a low laugh and murmured.

“I really should learn how to do that, even if I have to pay…”

Sooin couldn’t help but chuckle at the low murmur. Yiso looked at him at the sound of his uncontainable laughter. Her eyes widened and blinked rapidly, as if asking what was going on.

“It’s nothing. Yiso, do you want to ask your questions first?”

Sooin casually retracted his middle finger as if he’d been about to touch his nose and smiled. He handed her the list of anticipated questions to distract her, and Yiso easily moved on.

“Okay, I’ll ask the first question! Everyone, get ready!”

The meeting, which began with her enthusiastic declaration, continued for quite a while. By the time they arrived at the after-party venue, it was almost midnight.

Sooin drank ice water, pushing the menu towards the others. Midnight felt like early evening compared to the days when he’d stayed up until sunrise, but his mind kept drifting. He pressed the back of his hand against his heavy eyelids.

Ever since his presentation, his stamina seemed to have decreased; he felt tired more easily these days. Or maybe it’s because of my age. Even his self-deprecating chuckle lacked energy.

“Honestly, the project was a bit difficult, but I hope the finals go just as smoothly!”

“If Kim Sooin helps us again… it wouldn’t be a loss.”

“Awesome!”

Yiso’s cheerful exclamation quieted down a bit, noticing Sooin’s unusually subdued expression.

This was the downside of always smiling. Sooin quickly forced a smile, widening his eyes and curving his lips upwards, but Yiso fidgeted apologetically.

“Ah, Sooin Sunbae… were you… a little frustrated? Because I wasn’t getting it?”

“No. I also hope the finals go this smoothly.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

With these kinds of questions, speed was more important than the quality of the answer. He had to answer as if he’d often thought the same thing. At his warm, sincere smile, Yiso quickly regained her cheerful expression.

No, I was just worried and sorry because you’ve been looking so tired lately… Her following words didn’t fully register. His decreased stamina seemed to be affecting his concentration as well.

Still, it wasn’t a complete lie. The group, which had initially seemed like a disaster, now had a decent dynamic.

For one, Yiso could chatter away even without anyone responding. Thanks to her, he didn’t have to put in any effort to keep the conversation going. Even today, he could quietly empty his glass while pretending to listen. He occasionally picked at the snacks and smiled at appropriate times. That was enough to create a convivial atmosphere. Of course, Pyo Hyungyeon’s contribution, chattering away and reacting to everything, couldn’t be ignored.

Pyo Hyungyeon was acting like a paid audience member today. He laughed loudly and clapped at everything anyone said. Sooin didn’t know if it was a forced effort due to their conversation by the bushes, or if he was just drunk from excitement at finally having the drinking party he’d been looking forward to. His voice kept getting louder. Sooin wouldn’t be surprised if his right ear, the one closer to Pyo Hyungyeon, went deaf.

In stark contrast, Song Jaeyi sat motionless like a stone pillar. He barely touched his drink and only spoke when Yiso forced him to by waving his arm and demanding a reaction.

Still, today, Song Jaeyi accepted the drink Pyo Hyungyeon offered with both hands. Sooin was secretly impressed. Oh, what progress. He was watching with that thought in mind when he made eye contact. Song Jaeyi, his hands still politely raised, glared at him. What are you looking at? His defiant gaze was still as arrogant as ever.

“Jaeyi, you worked hard too. We had some, uh, misunderstandings and difficulties! Let’s get along better from now on.”

Despite everything, Pyo Hyungyeon seemed to like the unusually subdued Song Jaeyi. He’d probably dragged Jaeyi, who usually skipped department events, to the freshman orientation and pestered him with the three-shot penalty because he wanted to become closer to him. It just hadn’t gone as planned because of Jaeyi’s unexpected defiance.

In that context, today’s after-party was a good opportunity. It was a chance to gloss over past issues, praise each other for their hard work, acknowledge their mistakes and move on, just like the saying, “After the rain, the earth hardens.” That kind of talk, leading to closer relationships, was the only positive function of drinking parties.

Song Jaeyi downed the drink he’d accepted with both hands in one gulp. Pyo Hyungyeon, delighted by his hoobae’s immediate compliance, slapped him hard on the back.

“This kid, the more I see him, the more I like him.”

That kind of premature familiarity should be reserved for someone who can act cute and call you ‘Sunbae-nim’… Sooin clicked his tongue inwardly. Their newly established harmony still felt precarious at times.

Song Jaeyi openly frowned at the hard slap on his back. He looked like he was barely holding back from cursing. His narrowed eyes, about to glare at Pyo Hyungyeon, suddenly shifted direction, landing on the innocent Sooin.

Sooin’s eyes widened. What, me? Why? he mouthed, and Song Jaeyi’s expression softened. His previously cold features relaxed, his gaze slightly arrogant. He casually shifted his gaze, as if showing off, and muttered.

“I’m not your brat, am I?”

His voice was relatively gentle. Even his expression, usually icy when saying things like this, remained above freezing today. It wasn’t quite the same as a normal person’s joke, but for Song Jaeyi, this was warm enough to be considered an attempt at humor.

“Ah, this crazy bastard.”

Even Pyo Hyungyeon burst out laughing without any hesitation or awkwardness. All this time, it was just a joke, and I didn’t even realize! He seemed at a loss for words, overwhelmed by the refreshing and joyful realization. He slapped Song Jaeyi on the back a few more times and poured him another drink.

Song Jaeyi stared down at the overflowing soju glass. His gentle eyes instantly sharpened, glaring at the glass as if it were his enemy. Then, just as Pyo Hyungyeon was about to propose another toast, his expression changed again.

“Hey, let’s all make a toast. You’ve all worked really hard.”

At the Sunbae’s suggestion, who hadn’t done any work, their glasses gathered in the center of the table. As the overflowing alcohol dripped down his fingers, Song Jaeyi frowned again. But Pyo Hyungyeon, caught up in the moment, didn’t notice.

“To our group’s A+!”

With a loud cheer, their glasses clinked. The soju, which had only been dripping slightly, now overflowed, thanks to Pyo Hyungyeon deliberately clashing his glass against the others. Sooin chuckled and emptied his glass.

He made eye contact with Song Jaeyi again over the rim of his empty glass. Jaeyi had also erased his frown, a faint smile playing on his lips, his eyebrows slightly raised, as if saying:

See?

Was he that bothered by the social skills comment? Sooin chuckled inwardly and nodded. Yeah, you’re so great. Even at this reaction, which felt like being forced to accept a bow, Song Jaeyi didn’t let his smug expression falter.

The after-party started in earnest from then on. Pyo Hyungyeon, who had been subtly unnatural, was now completely relaxed and back to his usual self, and Yiso, fueled by alcohol, was quite boisterous. She’d stomp her foot whenever someone didn’t finish their drink in one gulp.

“No holding back! No sipping! No cushions! If you can’t down it in one shot, you’ll never get married!”

Matching her energy, Sooin quickly felt dizzy. The aftereffects of playing knight several times for Song Jaeyi, who clearly hated alcohol, caught up with him. It had been a long time since he’d been this drunk.

He excused himself, feigning a phone call. Even though he hadn’t drunk nearly as much as his usual limit, he was already feeling the effects.

The buildings seemed to spin, so Sooin sat down on the nearest chair. He only realized it was a convenience store patio table after he’d plopped down.

The rational part of his brain reminded him that he should buy something before sitting down. He knew, but his feet wouldn’t move. His body felt heavy and hot. Sooin stared blankly at the round table.

The light blue plastic table looked cool. It seemed like it would soothe his burning cheeks if he leaned against it. But his experience working at a convenience store held him back. Images of customers dirtying the patio tables in all sorts of unimaginable ways flashed through his mind. Ah, but something cool… As if in answer to his murmured words, someone spoke.

“Ice cream.”

Sooin followed the shadow cast over him and looked up. Song Jaeyi was standing right in front of him.

“Buy me some ice cream. You can at least keep this small promise.”

Perhaps it was the yellow light of the streetlamp, but Jaeyi’s face, which usually reminded Sooin of a marble statue, looked gentle. Sooin stared at him for a moment, then pulled out his card without hesitation. He needed something cold anyway.

“Then get me one too.”

It was a two-birds-one-stone opportunity: getting something cold without having to move and settling an old score. There was no reason to miss it.

At his quick action, Song Jaeyi chuckled and let out a sigh, as if he was about to refuse out of spite, but he snatched the card anyway. His tall figure quickly disappeared into the convenience store.

It didn’t take long for Song Jaeyi to return. He must have had a specific ice cream in mind because he was back in the blink of an eye, sitting down across from Sooin. He unceremoniously tossed an ice cream bar onto the blue table.

“I got you a Ssang Ssang Bar. Is that okay?”

“…Ssang…”

“Don’t you like it?”

Who in the world would like something with two “Ssangs” in its name? Sooin closed his eyes and chuckled. He was so tired that even the movement of his body from laughing irritated him slightly.

Haha, ah, seriously… He muttered irately, but he couldn’t help but laugh. To think he would be reunited with this ice cream bar, smiling. It was truly unexpected.

The colorful packaging alone was enough to evoke memories. His childhood, when the number of snacks they could buy was limited. He vividly remembered the days when he’d buy the same ice cream as Suye and share it with her. That chocolate ice cream bar was special.

Sometimes, it was a silent apology after a squabble with Suye, and sometimes, it was a treat their parents would periodically buy for their grown-up children. It was a symbol of family memories.

That’s why Sooin had erased its existence from his life three years ago. He’d stopped buying it, and if he happened to eat ice cream with others, he’d meticulously avoid the familiar packaging. He didn’t want to be reminded of Suye’s absence and feel sad.

Despite his efforts, their unexpected reunion began with a “Ssang.” His laughter continued, amused and bewildered.

“Ha, seriously… Ssang is a curse word.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.”

Song Jaeyi didn’t seem to care. He tore open his ice cream and started eating. He took a large bite, like he was eating meat, and the wide ice cream bar disappeared in three or four bites.

“I should have bought you one sooner. You’re enjoying it…”

“Why aren’t you eating yours, Hyung? You asked me to buy it for you.”

“I’m too tired to even move a finger.”

“…Because of your part-time job?”

“Yeah.”

“…What are you even trying to do with all that money, Hyung?”

Song Jaeyi asked, carefully placing the two wooden sticks back inside the wrapper. His eyes, focused on tidying up, briefly flickered towards Sooin, more specifically, towards the expensive watch on his wrist.

The honest answer wasn’t difficult.

His parents had passed away three years ago, and his younger sister was in a coma. The car accident had been entirely the other driver’s fault, but they had to rely on insurance until the compensation was settled. They couldn’t even receive coverage for the most burdensome expense, the caregiving fees.

Fortunately, they could cover the initial hospital bills with his parents’ inheritance, but they couldn’t last long with the prolonged trial. If he hadn’t been working so many part-time jobs, he would have had to sell all their belongings and the house.

Sooin wanted to keep his father’s watch and their house. It was a difficult task for a college student who suddenly became alone, but he gritted his teeth and persevered. He endured countless hours, determined to return to their familiar home with Suye and reminisce about the past when she woke up.

But no one was truly curious about another person’s circumstances. It was just a casual question. So Sooin gave a casual laugh.

“Me? I’m collecting luxury goods.”

“…”

He thought it would work since Jaeyi seemed to recognize the watch, but his reaction was cold. Since he’d been caught, Sooin decided to double down on the bluff.

“I’m going to put all my money into shitcoins and try to make a killing. You need seeds to grow money.”

“…You’re lying, right?”

“If I hit it big, I’ll become a landlord and live off rent, and open a shop as a hobby. Something like that.”

Song Jaeyi didn’t believe him at all. His handsome features were twisted in distaste, as if he’d swallowed something unpleasant.

“If you want to make that much money, why aren’t you working with me again?”

“What, the boyfriend-for-hire thing?”

“Yes, I think the pay is quite good.”

Considering the extra pay, it was a tempting offer. They’d already slept together, so why not continue the fake boyfriend gig? He’d been tempted by that thought a few times.

But not like this.

“…Back then, I did it because I thought we wouldn’t see each other again.”

The one-night stand had been easier because of that. A one-time thing, or a few times at most. It had been a gamble he could take because he thought they could disappear from each other’s lives at any time.

“Now it’s a bit…”

“What’s the difference?”

“Jaeyi, what if you fall for me? That would be a problem.”

Sooin chuckled playfully and peeled open the ice cream wrapper. Thanks to the cool night air, the ice cream was still frozen solid. His teeth ached as he took a bite.

The taste of memories filled his mouth, sweet and familiar. It wasn’t as sad as he’d expected, even though he was eating both halves by himself.

“Oh, seriously, what are you talking about? That’s not going to happen.”

Seeing Song Jaeyi’s flustered reaction was amusing. He was definitely entertaining to watch.

“And what if you fall for me? Why don’t you consider the opposite?”

Song Jaeyi leaned forward, resting his arms on the plastic table. His arrogant face, now closer, raised an eyebrow, as if challenging Sooin to refute him. But Sooin had no intention of arguing.

“You’re right, maybe I’ll fall for you.”

“…”

“That’s why I can’t be your fake boyfriend.”

Sooin smiled brightly and tidied up the empty ice cream wrapper, placing it neatly next to the one Song Jaeyi had folded.

Song Jaeyi watched him with a serious expression. His brow was furrowed, but it wasn’t simply a frown. He seemed to be deep in thought.

His jelly-like lips twitched a few times, contrasting with his serious gaze. After a moment of contemplation, he finally spoke.

“But why wouldn’t that be okay?”

The unexpected question caught him off guard. It wasn’t a question he could casually deflect like he usually did. His heart pounded in his chest, and he was momentarily speechless.

Sooin quickly plastered a smile back on his face, ignoring the cascade of reasons flooding his mind, and resorted to a trick.

“Jaeyi, no matter how much you try to seduce me, Hyung won’t fall for it.”

“Oh, what are you talking about? I’m not trying to seduce you…”

“Let’s go inside. I’ll find something there.”

When faced with a difficult question, it was best to either make the other person even more uncomfortable or change the subject. That usually worked with most people.

“Why would I try to seduce someone like you, Hyung?”

But he’d forgotten. Song Jaeyi wasn’t most people.

“Hyung, you’re two-faced, you don’t keep your promises, and you’re promiscuous. Why would I seduce someone like that?”

He’d just stood up, using the trash as an excuse. He’d only taken one step towards the trash can when the harsh accusations were thrown at him. Sooin stopped, carefully holding the light trash.

…Promiscuous?

What the hell kind of Korean education did he receive?

As he stared at Jaeyi with a wry smile, Jaeyi turned his back. Sooin could almost see the word “annoyed” written on his back.

❤︎₊ ⊹

Geonhui quit his job at the cafe. He left a card in Sooin’s locker that read, “Thanks for the life lesson, Hyung. Make sure you get everything back.” The aftermath of a one-week relationship was long indeed.

Sooin unfolded the card and taped it to the inside of his locker. And every time he read the curse, he decided to wish Geonhui well. After all, everyone said that after a clunker leaves, a luxury car arrives. He often pondered this undeliverable comfort.

The new hire was a twenty-year-old alpha male. He said his hobby was surfing, and his sun-kissed body was toned. He could easily lift the 10kg and 15kg syrup containers.

But he seemed to have no head for the job. He’d been mixing up the ade recipes all week, and he still confused vanilla lattes with cafe lattes.

Despite that, he was quick-witted when it came to getting his way. He’d subtly rub against Sooin’s shoulder and act cute whenever he made a mistake.

“Ah, I’m so sorry. As a token of apology, how about I buy you dinner?”

His blatant flirting only made Sooin laugh. As Sooin sighed, a long-time coworker whispered behind him.

“Oppa, you should get a good luck charm. They say it can ward off unwanted attention.”

Fighting. He didn’t even have the energy to chuckle at the quiet encouragement. He simply shook his head.

Sooin had always had more than enough stamina. He was always a top contender in school sports competitions, and until a few months ago, he could easily wake up early in the morning even after working 15-hour days. He’d never felt physically inferior even when sleeping with alphas. Except for Song Jaeyi.

But lately, he was really struggling. He tired easily, and his limbs felt heavy. It wasn’t just a dull ache, but a heightened sensitivity, as if all his senses were on edge. An unpleasant, subtle energy crawled beneath his skin all day long. Especially when he was working at the cafe. More specifically, when he was working with the new hire.

It was probably due to stress and overwork, Sooin thought. He’d increased his hours during exam season and had to train the clueless new hire, so it was understandable.

The only comfort was that it would all end eventually. He only had two exams left, including the group project presentation, and the new hire would eventually become proficient. The overwork… that would probably continue for a while, but summer break was just around the corner. If he maintained his grades, he would receive the scholarship without a hitch, and next semester would be a little easier.

Just a little longer. Sooin gathered the shards of the third glass the new hire had broken that day, summoning his patience.

“Hyung, I’m really sorry…”

“It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay at all. “Third” only applied to today; he’d broken seven glasses in the past week. And they’d just finished closing, where Sooin had done all the work while the new hire mostly caused trouble. All that was left was the final cleanup.

But he hadn’t dropped the glass while washing dishes or bumped into it while turning off the lights. He’d broken it somehow. Sooin couldn’t even comprehend how that was possible.

“I’ll vacuum, so you can go ahead.”

Sooin forced a smile, suppressing his rising irritation. The sensitive energy that had been crawling beneath his skin all day was screaming, raising his blood pressure as if begging to be released.

Then, the new hire’s embarrassed expression shifted. The vacant look he’d seen every time he explained the recipes reappeared.

Even when explaining a simple, one-line recipe, the new hire would often look at him with a confused “Huh?” As if he’d been lost in thought, or genuinely bewildered. Every time, Sooin felt like he was about to explode. He wanted to yell at him, asking him what part he didn’t understand, and give him a piece of his mind, just like he’d done with Song Jaeyi.

Why was he making that face again? Did he not even understand that he’d broken the glass himself? Sooin was dumbfounded.

The new hire approached him, his confused expression unchanged. He furrowed his brow and asked in a deep voice,

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

He stopped uncomfortably close. Sooin felt like his nose would touch his neck as he leaned closer. He could feel his breath.

“Doing what?”

Sooin leaned back and asked, too bewildered by the sudden accusation to even be flustered. At his calm question, the new hire looked exasperated.

“The pheromones.”

“Pheromones?”

His second question was anything but calm. His voice rose involuntarily. Despite Sooin’s surprised reaction, the new hire didn’t back down. He closed the distance as Sooin retreated, and murmured in a lower voice.

“Even if all the staff are betas, this is too much, Hyung…”

Only then did Sooin realize. So, all this time, the sleazy moves…

“Wait, wait. Me? I, so… I’ve been releasing pheromones?”

Sooin took two steps back and lightly pushed the new hire’s shoulder. He held up his hands as if telling him to stop, and the new hire frowned. The look on his face, as if asking if Sooin was serious, added insult to injury.

His mind was sluggish, but the last vestiges of his reason managed to move his lips.

“I didn’t know. It wasn’t intentional. I… I still don’t know much about that kind of thing.”

“You’re saying you weren’t trying to seduce me?”

“…I really didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

How pathetic did a person become when confronted with their own ignorance? At Sooin’s mortified apology, the new hire scoffed.

“At your age, you can’t even control your pheromones? Is there something wrong with you?”

It was an irrefutable statement. Sooin silently nodded, and the new hire, looking utterly dumbfounded, stormed out of the cafe. Sooin stood alone in the empty cafe for a while before finally vacuuming. The whirring sound seemed to echo in his head.

That night, Sooin spread out all the pamphlets he’d received from the hospital. The crisp papers, untouched since he’d received them, covered his desk.

<Heat Cycles in Recessive Omegas>, <Proper Suppressant Dosage and Cycle>, <Contraceptives for Alphas and Omegas>, <Managing Suppressant Side Effects>, and so on. Among the countless titles, he found one with a particularly cute font.

Omegas and Alphas Can Be Friends Too!

—Pheromone Control Edition—

Fluffy cloud borders surrounded the illustration of two children holding hands. Unlike the other pamphlets, this colorful one resembled a picture book. Sooin flipped the small cover, mesmerized.

On the first page, there was a boy with his arms outstretched. Squiggly lines, presumably representing pheromones, extended from him in all directions. The surrounding children, touched by the jagged lines, were startled and ran away, crying or angry. It was a scene of chaos caused by the boy, who didn’t respect his own or others’ bodies, releasing his pheromones uncontrollably.

After just one page, Sooin was speechless. He lay down on the floor and stared at the ceiling, thinking that if he were to get a good luck charm, it should be one to ward off embarrassment, not romance.

❤︎₊ ⊹

The doctor recognized Sooin immediately.

Even though it had been months since Sooin had been rushed to the emergency room, he greeted him with a cheerful, “Oh! You finally came!” Sooin hesitated, wondering if the doctor had mistaken him for someone else, but the doctor replied that it was hard to forget someone who presented at twenty-six.

“I thought you were going to a local clinic since you hadn’t come back after that day. But…”

He looked at Sooin with an expression of disappointment, as if he couldn’t believe Sooin hadn’t gone to any hospital. Sooin fidgeted guiltily. A reprimand followed.

“Didn’t you even watch the video lectures? I told you they explain the basic pheromone control methods.”

“…You said most adults learn naturally.”

“That’s usually the case, but special circumstances are different. Like when a heat cycle is approaching, or when you’re experiencing extreme emotional fluctuations. In your case, it could also be due to your overworked body giving up. Anyway, you have to be extra careful with control during those times. You’re already far behind those who learned from a young age!”

Being scolded was a rather unfamiliar experience for Sooin, who was usually treated as a model student and an upright young man.

It was especially rare for him to genuinely reflect on his actions instead of just pretending to agree. He almost sighed involuntarily and lowered his head further, and the doctor’s tone softened slightly.

“Didn’t anyone mention your pheromones during the day?”

“…No, not yet.”

“Then it’s definitely due to fatigue. You haven’t been taking suppressants either, have you?”

“…No.”

“Even if you’re a recessive omega, you’ll have a heat cycle every three to four months. I think I even marked the approximate date for you.”

“…I’m sorry.”

The doctor’s slightly softened tone hardened again. Sooin’s gaze fell to the floor.

“Take the medication. If you experience any side effects or it doesn’t suit you, come back and we’ll change it.”

“Yes.”

The consequences of putting off his hospital visit due to his busy schedule were harsh. Sooin stood up, feeling chastised, and bowed. Just as he was about to leave the examination room, the doctor added some advice.

“If it’s too difficult, it might be better to expose yourself to alpha pheromones.”

“It gets better just from exposure?”

At his hopeful question, the doctor’s eyes hardened. His cold gaze seemed to say, You idiot.

“I meant having intercourse.”

“Ah, yes…”

“Make sure you use proper contraception.”

The doctor said, looking as if he couldn’t believe he had to explain contraception. Sooin forced a smile and said, “It’s okay,” before quickly escaping the hospital. He stopped by the pharmacy and received a bag full of medication.

He had one exam left, and the group project presentation was the next day. Sooin took the heavy bag and headed to school. No matter how stupid he felt, he had to study.

Sooin had never been stupid in his life. He’d always been meticulous, ever since he was born.

His grades were always at the top throughout elementary, middle, and high school. He always received job offers whenever he worked part-time, and he rarely missed out on scholarships at Korea University. People always came to him with questions they didn’t know the answers to and sought his advice when they had problems. Even those who badmouthed him behind his back and called him a whore would come to him when they were in trouble.

So he’d thought he was a smart person. He might be easy, or even trash, as some people said, but he hadn’t thought he was stupid.

He was wrong.

He’d been busy and tired lately, but he thought he was managing his schedule efficiently. Despite the fatigue, he felt a sense of accomplishment. His finances, his grades, the group project. He was even a little smug, seeing his relationships improving. There were days when he felt encouraged and proud, thinking that this time, it might really be the third glass.

All the while, he hadn’t given a single thought to his secondary gender, which had changed after 26 years.

He hadn’t opened the pamphlets, ignored the strange scents he sometimes smelled, dismissed the new hire’s advances, and brushed off his increasing fatigue. He didn’t even know when his heat cycle was. Even though he might get a fever during an exam, the group project, or even at work.

If someone else had made such mistakes, Sooin would have probably clicked his tongue. He would have thought, How could someone be so foolish? Because a smart person would never do that.

“Idiot…”

Sooin sighed and stood in front of the kiosk. He didn’t have much of an appetite, and time was precious with an exam in two hours, but he had to eat something to take the strong medication. He had to force down even the student cafeteria omurice he was so tired of.

Sooin ate with his notes open next to him. He chewed the familiar-tasting rice and reread the parts he’d already memorized several times. He was so engrossed that he didn’t notice someone approaching.

“You’ll get indigestion if you eat like that.”

Large hands gently massaged his stiff shoulders. Startled by the sudden touch and low voice, Sooin looked up irritably, putting his notes away.

Song Jaeyi, wearing a rare smile, sat down across from him. He looked different than usual, wearing a black jacket over his white t-shirt.

“Going on a blind date?”

It seemed his father really was trying to force him into marriage. Sooin asked more seriously, half-joking. But Song Jaeyi simply replied in his usual blunt manner.

“No. I have a presentation today.”

“You don’t have to dress up that much for it.”

“Really?”

Song Jaeyi effortlessly devoured a few pieces of tonkatsu, just like he’d eaten the Ssang Ssang Bar. It’s like watching a circus act, Sooin thought, impressed.

“Well, dress like that tomorrow too.”

“Why?”

He was about to say that Pyo Hyungyeon’s reaction would be amusing, but he stopped himself. He shouldn’t teach the socially awkward Song Jaeyi the joy of teasing his sunbae.

“Because you might fall for me?”

It seemed like Jaeyi already knew that. Sooin simply smiled, his eyes crinkling.

“When are you actually going on that blind date?”

“Why don’t you answer my question first?”

“Do all chaebol families arrange marriages through blind dates? Aren’t you still too young for that?”

“Why wouldn’t it be okay if you liked me?”

At first glance, it seemed like a battle between a spear and a shield. But Sooin knew the true nature of this fight. It was a clash between a socialized person and someone who lived life on his own terms. Therefore, the loser was predetermined. A normal person could never win against a wild card.

“Why? Do you want Hyung to like you?”

He couldn’t just lose gracefully. Sooin rested his chin on his hand.

Song Jaeyi frowned. His furrowed brows and puffed cheeks clearly showed his frustration at not being able to immediately retort with his mouth full of food. He had to admit, it was a rather cute reaction.

The thought of giving him the middle finger again, like he’d done at the study cafe, made him smile. He was having fun for the first time in a while.

Still, he held back, like the mature adult he was. He didn’t want Jaeyi to get so flustered that he spat out his food. As he smiled and returned to his notes, a question suddenly popped into Sooin’s mind. Something he’d been wondering about since his hospital visit that morning.

“Oh, but have you ever smelled my pheromones?”

As soon as he asked, Song Jaeyi choked, covering his mouth. He coughed for a while before finally swallowing the water. Sooin’s lips parted slightly at the commotion. Why? he asked softly, and a delayed answer came.

“Why would you ask something like that?”

“…Just curious?”

“Curious about what? Do you want me to tell you what they smell like?”

Sooin was taken aback by his agitated tone. He wondered why Jaeyi was so upset, then he remembered their night together. The night with the particularly strong scent was etched in his memory.

“Um… No, it’s not that. I’m not very good at controlling them, so sometimes they leak without me realizing it. The doctor asked if any alphas had mentioned smelling my pheromones during the day.”

At Sooin’s calm explanation, Song Jaeyi gradually calmed down. His flushed face cooled, replaced by an embarrassed and annoyed expression. He shoved another piece of tonkatsu into his mouth and grumbled.

“Not since that night.”

“…Oh, okay. That’s good.”

“Did another alpha tell you your pheromones were leaking?”

“Something like that.”

Song Jaeyi’s eyebrows shot up, and he suddenly started clearing his tray. He stood up, clattering his dishes, and headed towards the dish return. Sooin, who had finished eating a while ago and had been waiting for him, was dumbfounded.

It seemed the socially adept one always lost. Sooin slowly tidied up, feeling absurd.

After returning his tray, he leisurely drank some water. He looked around just in case, but Song Jaeyi was nowhere to be seen. He’d really just left. He’s anything but normal. Sooin murmured and turned to leave the cafeteria when he suddenly stopped. His eyes widened as he saw Song Jaeyi standing by the exit.

Despite all the fuss, he hadn’t left the student cafeteria. He was just standing there, as if waiting for someone. Even though, being the socially inept person he was, he probably didn’t have any friends to wait for.

As Sooin chuckled and approached him, Song Jaeyi complained.

“Why did you take so long? I was waiting for you.”

Then why were you waiting…? Sooin shook his head, exasperated. Despite his reaction, Song Jaeyi silently walked alongside him. They left the cafeteria and walked towards the annex library.

“Were you alone with him?”

“With who?”

“The alpha who smelled your pheromones.”

“Ah… yeah, when we were closing the cafe.”

“…Are you crazy? Releasing your pheromones when you’re alone with an alpha is the same as saying you want to have sex.”

Aren’t you crazy, getting upset about sex on campus? Sooin smiled serenely and squeezed Song Jaeyi’s wrist. Even at this signal to be quiet, Song Jaeyi glared at him. Sooin, baffled by his accusatory gaze, retorted.

“Then were you asking me to sleep with you in that alleyway?”

He lowered his voice, maintaining his smile. Song Jaeyi immediately reacted to the low, quiet question.

“I was angry back then, and I thought you were an alpha…”

“I didn’t think you were that easy.”

Sooin turned away before Jaeyi could finish his excuse. Hyung has an exam, so I have to go. At his firm words, Song Jaeyi protested again. His voice, more emotional and irritated than usual, made Sooin’s mood lighten. The unpleasant feelings from the hospital visit that morning gradually disappeared, and a smile naturally spread across his lips.

❤︎₊ ⊹

He’d finished his last exam, except for the presentation tomorrow. The questions were more difficult than he’d expected, but they were on topics he was confident about. He thought he’d get a decent grade.

Having cleared another hurdle, the self-loathing from that morning had faded considerably. Self-blame wasn’t really Sooin’s forte.

Dwelling on the past and regretting things was too painful. And most importantly, it was pointless. He couldn’t turn back time or change the outcome. Having already learned his lesson the hard way, Sooin decided to move on. He just had to finish the group project presentation tomorrow and learn how to control his pheromones.

“I wasn’t asking you to sleep with me in the alleyway.”

“Oh, shit… You scared me.”

But it seemed Song Jaeyi hadn’t let go of his resentment. As they walked down the path past the shuttle bus stop, the sudden appearance and muttering startled him. He almost punched Jaeyi.

“I wasn’t being rude. It wasn’t like that.”

Rude. So it seemed Jaeyi had misunderstood, thinking he was being rude, ignorant, and inconsiderate, like Pyo Hyungyeon. Sooin chuckled softly, wondering how long Jaeyi had been waiting for him near the main gate.

“I know, I was teasing you.”

“…Hyung, you’re really mean.”

Sooin laughed out loud and teased him again.

“What am I supposed to do? You waited for me all this time, but Hyung has to go to work.”

He had a short closing shift at the cafe today. He was covering for his coworker, the one who had suggested the good luck charm, who had to leave two hours early. Others avoided short, two-hour night shifts, but Sooin had readily accepted. The hourly rate for night shifts was quite good, and he planned to go to the cafe early and study for his certification exam.

“I wasn’t waiting for you to play with me. You misunderstood and left. Why do you always say what you want and leave, Hyung?”

It was a proud moment, being acknowledged by the master of non-sequiturs. Suddenly, a pop song blared loudly. For a moment, Sooin thought it was a fanfare.

The loud music, which made even passersby turn their heads, was coming from Song Jaeyi’s phone. Annoyed as if he’d been interrupted during an important conversation, Song Jaeyi frantically searched his jacket pocket. The name “Pyo Youngyeon” appeared on the large screen. Sooin didn’t know if it was a typo for “Pyo Hyungyeon,” if that’s how he actually knew him, or if he knew it was a mistake but hadn’t bothered to correct it. Any reason seemed plausible with Song Jaeyi.

Sooin found himself focusing on the call, wanting to ask Jaeyi about it after he hung up.

“What.”

Song Jaeyi, who had answered the much older sunbae’s call so casually, gradually grew serious. Yes. He repeated the low answer several times. Sooin, who had been anticipating the end of the call to ask a playful question, blinked, also growing serious.

“So you’re saying Yiso is in the hospital right now.”

At those words, his smile vanished. With an expressionless face, Sooin fumbled for his phone, turning it on after having it off for the exam.

As soon as the home screen appeared, his phone vibrated repeatedly. Missed calls and messages poured in.

Misfortune always arrived silently. It had been the same three years ago, the day he’d heard about the accident.

“Yes, I understand.”

“…”

“I should be the one to go. But… Sunbae, I have to hang up now.”

Song Jaeyi’s words echoed faintly in his ears. Strange. Everything sounded muffled.

All sounds except for Song Jaeyi’s voice, so close to him, were erased. He couldn’t hear the cars passing by or the footsteps around him.

It was as if the whole world was filled with water. He felt like he would float away if he didn’t hold on.

“Hyung. Can you hear me?”

His body, which felt like it was drifting into an unknown world, was grabbed firmly. Song Jaeyi, holding his arms with considerable force, made eye contact. His eyes, which usually seemed to look down at Sooin, looked serious.

“It’s nothing serious. Appendicitis? It’s a simple surgery, and her parents are there, so he said not to worry.”

“…Oh.”

“But you have the presentation tomorrow. That’s why they called you so much, asking what to do.”

“Oh… That’s good.”

His voice sounded strained, as if his throat was constricted. It sounded unfamiliar, like someone else’s voice, echoing from afar. His ears felt clogged.

Sooin instinctively tapped his ear. As he hit the side of his head against his wrist, his arm was suddenly grabbed. Song Jaeyi, his eyes wide with an expression Sooin had never seen before, said sharply,

“Breathe. Slowly.”

Only then did Sooin realize he was short of breath. He gasped, a strange, ragged breath that almost turned into a wheeze.

The muted noises rushed back in a loud wave. His inner ears, his ribs, his solar plexus all ached. A high-pitched ringing filled his ears.

Sooin roughly shook off Jaeyi’s hand and ran. He retraced his steps and blindly rushed into the nearest building, overwhelmed by nausea.

He wasn’t even sure if he’d entered the right restroom. His vision was blurry, and his hands were cold. His stiff fingertips, clutching the white porcelain, were as pale as the sink itself.

He’d just vomited half his stomach contents when someone patted his back. A strong, clumsy force, just like when Jaeyi had grabbed his arm and wrist. Sooin squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the dull vibrations resonating through his body.

Even after his stomach was empty, the nausea wouldn’t stop. As he moaned from the cramping pain in his empty stomach, Song Jaeyi said he would call an ambulance. As soon as he heard those words, the nausea miraculously subsided.

Sooin stood up, his face pale, and rinsed his mouth with cold water. Song Jaeyi stayed by his side as he rinsed and washed his face. Their eyes occasionally met through the mirror.

As the running water stopped, Song Jaeyi handed him several paper towels. They were thick enough to be used as hand towels. Sooin pressed them against his face, which was soaked with sweat and tears from the vomiting.

He threw away the damp paper towels and cleared his throat. The inside of his throat felt rough and raw. He coughed, then stepped out of the restroom. He could feel Song Jaeyi’s persistent gaze on him.

Sooin knew how strange his behavior must have seemed to others. But it wasn’t as big a deal as they might think. Things that were forced in and crammed down would sometimes cause problems. It was just that he hadn’t organized himself well, and things had overflowed.

He couldn’t explain it like that, though.

“Thanks. I think the omurice went bad.”

Sooin stopped and gave an embarrassed smile. Song Jaeyi simply looked at him, meeting his eyes. Sooin thought he was about to question him, Does that even make sense?

“I told you you’d get indigestion if you ate like that.”

But contrary to his expectations, there were no questions. Song Jaeyi let out a long, slow sigh, then asked,

“Are you working today?”

“Yeah, at 8.”

You’re going to work even after throwing up everything? He expected another outburst, but it didn’t come. Song Jaeyi narrowed his eyes and murmured softly,

“I’ll give you a ride. Come on.”

His gentle reaction was more difficult to handle than his usual outbursts. Sooin stammered, flustered.

“Oh? Ah, it’s okay.”

“Let’s go.”

His voice was quiet as he repeated the offer. As if he wouldn’t say it a third time.