SPGM Ch 1

The first thing the man who opened his eyes recognized was a pain that felt as if his skull had been split in two. The second thing he recognized was a gaze piercing him, so intense that even amidst the throbbing pain, he found it intriguing.

Who is staring at me like this? The man shifted his gaze, fixed on the unfamiliar ceiling, and faced the owner of the piercing eyes.

“…….”

For a moment, his breath stopped. The man truly felt that way. Two eyes, shining like those of a wild animal in a shadowed face, captured the man’s gaze. As if not permitting the intrusion of any impurity, the green eyes, creating an illusion of containing light, were pure substance itself.

The color situated beneath the sharp eyes was brilliant enough to steal anyone’s gaze. He even felt a pang of regret when the other man’s ashen hair momentarily veiled his eyes in the blowing breeze.

“…Hello.”

It was the man who surrendered to the strange probing that had gone on for who knows how long. Touching his throbbing head, the man sat up and smiled gently. The green-eyed man flinched at the sweet greeting. Unfazed, the man opened his mouth.

“Um, good morning?”

The surroundings, draped in deep darkness, could hardly be called morning, but the man with blinded eyes did not even recognize it. The light shining behind the green-eyed man felt like the sun’s light. The other man, with an unreadable expression, said to him,

“It’s evening.”

“Ah, really? Well then, good evening.”

“…….”

A strange light flickered in the green eyes that seemed to pierce the man’s face. Unconcerned with what it meant, the man blurted out what he had been wondering since he opened his eyes.

“By the way, who are you?”

The other man flinched noticeably and averted his gaze. Dissatisfied with the broken eye contact, the man abruptly moved his body into the other man’s field of vision. Their eyes met again. Staring intently at the flustered handsome man, he extended his voice.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“…….”

“You can talk, can’t you? You just spoke.”

The other man remained silent. Blinking his heavy eyelids, the waiting man smiled faintly. It was a gentle smile.

“It’s okay. If you don’t want to talk, I’ll talk first.”

Unaware of the tension in the other man’s jaw, he looked into the vividly shining green eyes and opened his mouth.

“My name is.”

“…….”

“Uh, my name is….”

Contrary to his bold start, his words suddenly trailed off. A puzzled breath escaped his parted lips. The other man, who had been facing him all along, also looked puzzled. Blinking blankly for a moment, the man laughed awkwardly, adding, It’s strange.

“What’s my name?”

“…What?”

The other man’s green eyes suddenly widened.

“I, I don’t remember my name.”

“…You don’t remember?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh, from where to where?”

“I don’t even know what you mean by ‘where’. I just don’t remember anything.”

What his name was. How old he was. Where he was born and what kind of job he had. He couldn’t remember anything at all. Moreover, not even realizing that he was in a state of memory loss, the man laughed with a vacant expression.

“Aha. No wonder my head has been hurting. I think I have amnesia.”

“Amnesia, you say…? Amnesia, amnesia….”

“Yeah. But since I know the definition of amnesia, I guess I’m not completely clueless. That’s a relief.”

He was quite composed for someone with amnesia. The man, endlessly repeating the word ‘amnesia,’ furrowed his brow. The green-eyed other man asked with suspicion in his eyes.

“Wait, are you sure you don’t remember? You’re too calm for someone who can’t remember anything.”

“Do I seem calm?”

The other man nodded.

“Very much so.”

“Is that so? Hmm, I guess so. It really seems that way.”

“…Why?”

When asked how that could be, the man, after a moment of thought, shrugged.

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe this is just how I am. I’m not particularly anxious or afraid that I’ve lost my memories, and it’s rather intriguing, so.”

It was as if he had become the protagonist in a movie or a player in a mystery game. Even he himself found his composure strange. What kind of person was he before he lost his memory?

“What do you think? Was I always like this? Or do you not know me either?”

“…I can’t not know you.”

A somewhat self-deprecating answer came back. Pulling his long legs towards him and burying his cheek in his knees, the man looked at the green eyes hidden by the ashen hair. The other man’s eyelids, heavy with thought, cast shadows over the brilliant color. A strange light flickered in those downcast green eyes, and a low voice followed.

“Jester.”

“Jester?”

The other man nodded at the puzzled look.

“Yes. Jester. That’s your name. You asked.”

“Ah, right. I did. …Jester. Jester.”

Jester. It wasn’t an unfamiliar name. Rather, it felt closer to being familiar. But for some reason, he felt uneasy.

Jester. Jester. Jester. Rolling his name around in his mouth, the man, Jester, tilted his head. He didn’t notice the other man’s green eyes darkening.

“Last name?”

“…No last name.”

“Really?”

Either born without one or abandoned it. It must be one of the two. Jester, readily accepting it, suddenly asked,

“But why don’t I remember? Did I have an accident?”

“…It was an accident.”

“What kind of accident?”

“…….”

Holding his breath for a moment, the other man answered in a low, husky voice.

“…You fell down the stairs.”

“Down the stairs?”

Puzzled, Jester touched his legs wrapped in the blanket. He had thought he might be frail, but he only felt a solid frame. They weren’t legs so weak that they would collapse from a tumble down the stairs. Even though he had no memory of himself, just by looking at his visible form, he could tell that it was a well-maintained body.

Of course, having a strong body doesn’t mean immunity to all accidents. But he didn’t think he had simply fallen down the stairs by mistake. It was an inexplicable conviction.

“Did you push me, by any chance?”

He asked half-jokingly, and

“…What?”

The other man was shaken.

“Oh, you’re flustered.”

“W-When did I?”

“And now you’re getting defensive.”

“…….”

In an instant, the man’s face turned pale. Jester, amused by the transparent reaction, laughed, his shoulders shaking.

“I’m kidding.”

“Joking with a cracked head….”

“Ah, it was cracked. No wonder it hurts.”

Jester, with his well-shaped eyebrows drooping, gently stroked the back of his bandaged head. Although his attitude was playful, there was a touch of pathos that swayed the other man’s heart, who cautiously asked,

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“Enough to lose my memories, so I guess so.”

“I’ll get you some painkillers. And about the accident, …it was my fault, but it wasn’t intentional.”

“It’s okay. It’s fine as long as I’m not dead. The medicine is fine too. But can I ask you something? I’m more curious than I am in pain right now.”

“…What are you curious about?”

The other man furrowed his brow. He seemed to be afraid of what would come out of Jester’s mouth. Jester’s eyes curved at the sight of him, unwilling yet unable to tear his gaze away.

“Your name, and our relationship.”

“…….”

He didn’t know how his question reached the other man. But one thing was certain: there was an unspoken emotion in those strangely shimmering green eyes. So Jester waited expectantly. He had a premonition that he and the man in front of him were not simply acquaintances. Just as he was starting to feel a slightly thrilled and heightened sense,

“Weather.”

The man spoke.

“Weather. That’s my name. No last name.”

“…Weather, Weather.”

Jester spoke the man’s name in a familiar tone, as if he had called it many times before. And just as he was overlaying the name onto the other man’s face,

“And we are.”

A low voice, with a metallic edge, struck his eardrums.

“Lovers.”

🎥

Four days after losing his memory. During that time, Jester learned quite a bit of information.

First, he had no family. Whether he was abandoned by his family at birth, abandoned after growing up to a certain extent, or whether he abandoned his family himself, the possibilities were various, but Weather, the sole provider of his memories, did not elaborate.

Judging by his grim expression, it seemed that it wasn’t a simple story. Not particularly interested, perhaps due to his memory loss, Jester lightly changed the subject.

Which led him to the second thing: Jester currently had no job. All his living expenses were covered by his lover, Weather, and he was a useless being living off him. He was a little taken aback when he heard it, but Jester couldn’t help but accept it. His current lifestyle of lounging in bed with the excuse of a cracked head suited him perfectly.

His generous lover, Weather, didn’t scold him for it. Rather, he volunteered to do everything for him, treating him preciously as if he were fragile glass. Jester became helplessly addicted to the affectionate care of the aesthetically pleasing, eye-catching man.

And thirdly, the mansion they were living in was located in a remote area far from the village, and the original owner was someone else. Weather explained that they were allowed to reside there in exchange for managing the mansion, adding that it was practically abandoned by the owner. The owner had not returned.

However, before leaving, the owner had strictly forbidden entry to certain areas, and Weather was faithfully adhering to this.

Indeed, Jester had seen closed-off rooms throughout the mansion in the past four days. All of them were locked, not only with security devices but also with palm-sized padlocks, which was very suspicious. There’s no reason to block off empty rooms, is there? If there were gold and silver treasures hidden, the owner wouldn’t have left the mansion to someone else, so the most likely assumption was that it was related to a crime.

Did they dispose of a body? Or was it a room where murder weapons were hidden?

He let his imagination run wild, but there was no smell of decaying corpses or the metallic scent of blood coming from beyond the tightly closed doors. Since asking Weather resulted in nothing but “I don’t know,” and it seemed unlikely he would allow him to break down the doors, Jester had no choice but to suppress his curiosity.

The only spaces allowed to Jester were his assigned room, the living room, the bathroom, and the kitchen. Moreover, Weather, despite being his lover, didn’t share a room with him. He often locked his door tightly, just like the closed-off owner’s room, and wouldn’t even allow Jester to enter.

Suspicious.

An old mansion located deep in the woods and an owner whose face he didn’t even know. Several rooms the owner wanted to hide, and Weather managing the mansion in his place. Even if you just listed the obvious facts, it wasn’t very ordinary. In fact, the most suspicious and intriguing thing Jester had learned was the existence of his lover, Weather.

“We are lovers.”

When he had abruptly said those words, Jester hadn’t doubted it one bit. Rather, he had thought it was natural. He had thought that unless they were blood relatives, it would be a loss in life to remain anything other than lovers with a man like Weather. Jester was certain that if he hadn’t become his lover, he would have at least had a physical relationship with him.

That’s how intensely captivating Weather was, enough to steal anyone’s gaze at first glance. His ashen hair was like a scene from a silent film, and his saturated green eyes were like a rare cosmic material. Looking into Weather’s eyes, something would seem to surface in his mind, only to disappear immediately, so Jester could only stare into them endlessly.

Every line that made up Weather drew Jester’s gaze. Among them, the most intense were his eyes, and then the strange scar that started at the tip of his left jaw.

Extending down to his neck, it resembled the spread of an electric current, and at a glance, it also looked like a red tree. It looked like a painting drawn on his skin, so it appeared more like a delicately engraved tattoo than something grotesque. He wondered what shape it continued in beneath his clothes.

Did he see it in detail before losing his memories? Could he have touched it? Thinking about it, Jester suddenly became curious.

How did they meet and become lovers?

“We met while traveling. I saw you for the first time at an old hotel in Cellstone.”

“Cellstone?”

Unable to contain his curiosity, Jester asked Weather, and he continued.

“It’s a small port town in the southern part of C District. I stayed there briefly for work, but the facilities were so old that I could hear the commotion at the 1st-floor counter even from the 4th floor. The bed was so uncomfortable that I barely managed to fall asleep at dawn, and then some guy started making a fuss, crying, in the morning.”

Weather continued speaking calmly, his hands busily moving. At some point, a meal had been perfectly set on the small table. Jester stared blankly at the appetizing stew and bread, and Weather placed the spoon directly into his hand. Scooping up some of the contents and bringing it to his lips, Jester immediately put the spoon down. Weather asked curiously,

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s too hot to eat right away. I’m letting it cool down a bit.”

“Hot?”

Weather shifted his gaze to the steaming bowl and let out a soft exclamation.

“Ah, I see.”

As if he had gained enlightenment, Weather pulled the spoon and bowl towards himself. Stirring the contents for a while to cool it down, Weather followed Jester’s actions and checked the temperature with his lips.

“It’s not hot anymore.”

Jester took a bite of the stew he was handed and nodded.

“It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“I understand how much you like it. I’ll cool it down beforehand from tomorrow.”

They were affectionate words. Smiling gently in return, Jester urged him to continue the story.

“Keep telling me, Weather. You can start from the part where you barely fell asleep and were woken up by the commotion.”

“Alright. Since I was interrupted after finally falling asleep, I was quite irritated. I felt like I needed to see who it was and grab them by the collar to feel satisfied, and that’s how I met you on the 1st floor.”

So the culprit who was crying and making a fuss in the morning was himself. Jester let out a hollow laugh.

“Oh dear. Why did he do that?”

“He realized that all his belongings had been stolen before he checked in. In other words, it was the outburst of a penniless man.”

Staring into space as if reminiscing, Weather smiled faintly.

“I had been determined to grab him by the collar before I left the room, but when I actually saw his face, that feeling completely disappeared.”

“Why?”

“He looked pitiful and pathetic.”

Weather met his gaze. Brushing away a breadcrumb from the corner of Jester’s mouth, he continued.

“So I brought you to my room.”

His busy hands stopped. Jester’s eyes took on a strange glint.

“Brought me to your room?”

“Yes.”

“A pitiful, penniless man? Even though you’d never met him before?”

“Yes.”

“And? What did you do after bringing him there?”

“After bringing him there….”

Jester stopped all movement and waited for the words to follow. What happened after he brought the pitiful and pathetic penniless man to his room? Waiting expectantly without hiding his interest, Weather replied,

“That’s all for today. The rest of the story is for another time.”

“What? How can you do that?”

Jester slammed the spoon into the bowl and protested sullenly. Weather chuckled and shrugged.

“It’s not fun if I tell you everything at once.”

“…Well, that’s true, but.”

A moderate amount of anticipation keeps the enjoyment alive. There’s also the enjoyment that comes from imagination, isn’t there? In the end, Jester decided to accept the pleasure of anticipation, putting aside his disappointment.

“Alright. Then, starting tomorrow, tell me our story little by little.”

“You’ll be disappointed if you get your hopes up too high.”

“It’s okay. I already like the introduction. Besides, it’s followed by the amnesia development. It’s a sufficiently interesting story.”

“Well, if you say so.”

That night, when their story officially began, Jester imagined himself rolling around passionately with Weather in a nameless, old hotel. He wasn’t sure if it was because he originally had a vivid imagination or if his body remembered, but it was an incredibly vivid imagination. So his anticipation couldn’t help but grow.

The next day, Jester, eagerly awaiting the continuation of the story with a fluttering heart, tasted disappointment. Nothing like what Jester had expected had happened to the two people in the story.

“Didn’t you say you wouldn’t be disappointed because you liked the introduction?”

“That’s what yesterday’s me said. Today’s me is different.”

“Then today’s disappointment can just stay with today.”

Weather, having cooled the stew, handed him the bowl. Jester checked the temperature by touching the spoon to his lips and scanned the contents. It was just the right temperature for him to eat.

“Did you cool this down for me on purpose?”

“Yes. You said you can’t eat hot food right away.”

Staring in wonder at Weather, who had swept away his disappointment with a single affectionate gesture, Jester nodded obediently.

“But why don’t you eat?”

Then, Jester suddenly realized that he had never seen Weather eat.

“That’s because I eat while I’m preparing the meal.”

“Why don’t we eat together?”

“It’s not that there’s any particular reason…. It’s just that I’m a light eater, and when I’m preparing a meal, the smell makes me lose my appetite quickly.”

“Really? I thought you were avoiding eating with me.”

When Jester said that, Weather frowned as if he had heard something strange.

“Why would you think that?”

“Why? Because you don’t eat with me.”

“So I’m asking why that leads to that kind of thinking.”

Weather truly looked like he couldn’t understand. Jester stared at him for a moment and then asked back,

“Why do you stay here until I finish eating?”

“That’s because I want to see you eat well.”

“Me too.”

Jester scraped up the remaining soup and emptied the bowl completely. Ta-da, he held up the clean plate and waved it in front of Weather’s eyes, and he smiled slightly.

“We’re lovers.”

Placing the empty bowl neatly on the table, Jester continued.

“I want to see you eat too. That way, I can know what Weather likes and dislikes. I’m also curious about your table manners. Whether you eat sloppily or elegantly,”

Weather cut him off.

“I don’t eat sloppily.”

“Really? That’s a little disappointing. I think it would be wild and cool. A primal charm, you know?”

“…Are you serious?”

“Yes. But actually, I think it suits Weather better to eat elegantly.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“What else? I want to eat with you. Eating has always been directly linked to survival, you know. By sharing a meal, you share the means of survival and observe the other person in their most honest and vulnerable state. It’s a good time to enhance stability and bonding between each other. Since you’re not allowing me such a noble and important time, wouldn’t it be natural for me to think you dislike me?”

As he spoke, his reasoning became exaggerated, but Weather didn’t seem to notice. Rather, he looked at Jester and the empty bowl alternately, as if he had gained enlightenment.

“I’ve never thought about it that deeply.”

“Then, have we never eaten together?”

He couldn’t believe that was the case, could he? When he sent a questioning gaze, Weather answered in a low, husky voice.

“…I’ve always just watched.”

“Oh my. Weather, you really were a cruel lover.”

To have only watched him eat. Wasn’t that surveillance disguised as care? Jester, letting out a hollow laugh without realizing it, opened his mouth at the thought that followed.

“But it seems I didn’t say anything like this before I lost my memory, did I?”

“No. Well, that’s right.”

“Really?”

As the ambiguous answer continued, the corners of Jester’s eyes crinkled softly. Weather’s gaze was tinged with curiosity.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“You know, Weather. I’ve been thinking.”

“Yes.”

“If I didn’t say anything before I lost my memory,”

Weather’s green eyes held no trace of red, but Jester somehow thought they resembled flames. Looking at the color that kept capturing his gaze, he said,

“It seems I must have liked you very much.”

Perhaps he had been willing to endure his dissatisfaction, to accommodate him in everything. He might have been weaker to Weather than he thought. Or perhaps he had wanted to avoid any possible discord. As Jester sorted out his thoughts, finding his own reasons,

“Weather?”

“…….”

He suddenly looked at Weather, who had frozen, all movement stopped. He looked like a robot that had run out of battery and shut down, or like he was in shock. What part of what he had just said was so shocking? Could it be that it was the first time he had heard a confession? They were lovers, weren’t they?

“Weather, why are you so surprised? Did I say something I shouldn’t have?”

“…No.”

“Is it the first time I’ve said something like this?”

“…….”

The scar starting from the tip of his jaw deepened in color. It was the correct answer.

“It seems we were a somewhat dry couple. Not even saying we liked each other.”

Sleeping in separate rooms, not eating together. Moreover, a relationship where they didn’t share expressions of affection to the point of being shocked by a simple “I like you.” Wasn’t this beyond plain, almost desolate?

“It seems we weren’t honest with each other before I lost my memory. Weather, perhaps my memory loss is an opportunity to further deepen our relationship.”

“…Opportunity?”

“Yes, Weather. This is an opportunity. I don’t know how I appeared to you before, but forget all of that. It seems I was putting on an act because I wanted to look good in front of you.”

“…An act?”

“Yes. But I’m not like that now. I don’t like hiding things. Yes, now that I’ve said it out loud, I understand. I like being honest. Whether it’s my feelings or actions. Even if it’s an unsightly side of me. So,”

Jester, after speaking at length, stated his main point.

“From now on, let’s eat together at every meal, and let’s share a room at night. When you wash my hair, you’ll wash yourself too. How about it?”

“No.”

Weather said in a firm tone. Jester furrowed his brow at the immediate refusal.

“Why?”

“Eating every meal together is fine. We’ll do that. But sharing a room and washing together is not okay.”

“So why not?”

“Because I don’t have the confidence to hold back.”

Jester pondered the meaning of the blunt answer for a moment before opening his mouth.

“Hold back what?”

He wasn’t so stupid as to not realize what he meant by holding back, and now, beyond being bewildered, Jester felt like he was being toyed with by Weather and let out a hollow laugh. Weather looked at him as if he were a naive child and spoke in a coaxing tone.

“You’re a patient right now, Jester. I don’t want to hurt you. Rather, I want to cherish you.”

“Weather, to be honest, the pain from my torn scalp subsided a long time ago. I’ve been pretending to be hurt because I like and am comfortable with you taking such good care of me.”

“That’s because you’ve been taking painkillers every day. It’s not that you’re not in pain because you’re all healed, it’s the medicine dulling the pain. You’re still a patient.”

To Weather, who was soothing him with a gentle smile, Jester retorted,

“Yes. It’s a good thing for me right now that the medicine is working incredibly well. Because I can’t feel the pain anyway. So that’s fine, Weather. What’s the problem? Moreover, why would us sharing a room and washing together hurt me? Ah, am I the bottom?”

“…Haah.”

This is driving me crazy. Letting out a long sigh along with a short curse, Weather covered his forehead with his hand. Seeing his troubled expression, Jester, whose tangled feelings had unravelled, smiled brightly.

“Huh? Weather, answer me.”

“What answer do you want to hear? That you’re the bottom? What if you are?”

“What else?”

Jester’s smile deepened.

“I’ve been bottoming all this time, so from now on, Weather can top. That would be fair, wouldn’t it?”

Since he would be the one lying down, there would be no risk of aggravating his torn scalp, and since he wouldn’t have to do anything, it wouldn’t hurt him either.

“How about it, Weather? Simple, right? I’ve solved everything you were worried about. So now you don’t have to worry needlessly.”

“No, Jester.”

Weather shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but my mind won’t change right now. We’ll still sleep in separate rooms and we won’t wash together.”

“Why?”

“Because I need time to prepare myself mentally. Because I gave you time to prepare yourself mentally. So it would only be fair if you gave me time too, wouldn’t it?”

“…Hmm.”

Oh no, I’ve been cornered. A hollow laugh escaped him because he was the one who brought up the word “fair” first. Jester had no choice but to nod.

“Alright, Weather. I’ll wait. Since you said you waited for me.”

“Thank you. We’ll eat together like you said. But—”

Weather, who had trailed off, suddenly pressed down firmly on the back of Jester’s hand. Jester’s gaze followed, landing on the back of Weather’s hand.

He hadn’t noticed before because it was always covered by long sleeves, but now he saw that Weather was wearing a half-glove covering the back of his hand. It wasn’t the kind you’d wear indoors, so he was puzzled, but then he remembered Weather’s scar. He was wearing the glove on his left hand. It seemed the scar extended to the back of his hand.

“I think I’ll have to go out tomorrow.”

“Out?”

Come to think of it, Weather hadn’t left the house once in three days. Even if he had a patient to care for, he could have at least taken a short walk, but he had been staying in the mansion the whole time, attending to Jester.

He wasn’t terminally ill, nor were his legs broken, so he should be able to get some fresh air soon, right? Even though being a lazy, unemployed person felt like his nature, being cooped up inside had made Jester’s body stiff, so he smiled gently.

“Sounds good. I’ll go with you.”

“No.”

But Weather shook his head firmly.

“Only I am going out tomorrow.”

“Why?”

It seemed like every time he said something, the answer was “no.” Was it his imagination?

“My head’s torn, not my legs. So why?”

“It’s not just because of your head. It’s because it’s dangerous outside.”

“What do you mean? Dangerous outside?”

“That is….”

After a moment of choosing his words, Weather explained the following: the C District where they were residing was under quarantine due to a plague outbreak, and communication with the outside world was cut off; not only the plague but also public sentiment had spiraled out of control. It was practically a lawless zone, so the rampant crimes were a natural consequence.

However, the mansion they were living in was relatively safe thanks to its location deep in a secluded forest. That’s why he couldn’t take Jester to the hospital when he was injured, Weather explained. It would be disastrous if some quack without a medical license tried to treat him, messed up his head, and couldn’t put it back together properly. Jester was speechless at Weather’s words about not being able to have his features misaligned.

“It’s that dangerous, and you’re going out?”

“We’re running low on food.”

“Is it even possible to get food in this situation?”

“Don’t worry about that. I know a black market dealer. With money, most things can be solved. Except for those doctors, that is. They’re all quacks here.”

Jester, who had been silently nodding, asked,

“Then wouldn’t it be alright for me to accompany you?”

“No. That wouldn’t be alright. You’re too fragile, it’s dangerous.”

“…Me?”

Jester blinked blankly. He didn’t look fragile at all. He was as sturdy as Weather, and even though it was subtle, he was slightly taller than Weather. Smiling brightly, he shook his head and refuted,

“I don’t think so.”

“What you see isn’t everything, Jester. You’re really fragile. Look at these slender wrists. They look like they’ll break.”

Weather grabbed Jester’s wrist tightly and shook it as if to demonstrate. From Jester’s perspective, their thicknesses were similar.

“Well, yours and mine are about the same.”

“Listen carefully, Jester. That’s proof that you’re sick. Your eyes are wrong. Your eyes, which can’t see properly, are telling you that you haven’t fully recovered.”

“Are you saying my eyes are messed up right now?”

When he asked in a puzzled voice, Weather nodded with a grave expression.

“Unfortunately, yes. It seems to be an aftereffect of the amnesia.”

“Then I should go to the hospital and get tested… no, no. You said there are only quacks outside.”

“Yes, Jester. Misaligned features are a big problem, but you might never open your eyes again.”

Weather let out a big sigh as he said this. Jester scratched his chin.

“But no matter how I look at it, I’m not weak. I even look quite handsome.”

“Unfortunately, Jester, you’re incredibly weak and unattractive. I have a duty to protect you from danger. Because I’m your lover.”

“That’s a touching sentiment, but…. But if my eyes aren’t normal, then the way I see you right now isn’t real either?”

At Jester’s words, Weather blinked slowly and asked back,

“What do I look like to you?”

“A handsome man with luxurious ashen hair and vivid green eyes that seem to concentrate light, captivating just by looking at them.”

Weather smiled faintly.

“Ah, that’s me. It seems your eyes only have problems when it comes to you.”

“…Really? That’s quite strange. Well, anyway. Isn’t it dangerous outside for you too?”

“Don’t worry about that. I can protect myself well enough, so it’s okay. I’m used to it now.”

So you just need to rest comfortably in the mansion.

Weather added with a benevolent expression. Jester had no choice but to nod.

The day, filled with various information, passed, and morning arrived. Jester, awakened by loud banging noises, headed to the first floor.

“Weather?”

“Ah, Jester.”

“What are you doing?”

Jester’s gaze went to Weather’s hand. More precisely, what he was holding in his hand: a hammer, chains, and a padlock. It was the same as the one hanging on the doorknob of the closed-off room in the mansion.

“Why are you holding those?”

“Ah, this.”

Weather lowered his eyes for a moment, then smiled gently and said,

“I’m worried because you’re alone in the mansion.”

What if something happens to you while I’m gone, even though this is a secluded forest? Weather muttered, fiddling with the heavy padlock.

“Wouldn’t it be better to just take me with you then?”

“No. That’s even more dangerous, so no.”

“Is that why you’re locking all the windows in the mansion right now?”

Jester crossed the living room and examined each of the tightly sealed windows one by one. It would be impossible to break those metal bars on his own without the help of a machine.

“I have to do this much to prevent intruders from coming in.”

“If it’s hard to open the doors, wouldn’t they break the glass and come in?”

“That’s impossible too. It’s all bulletproof glass.”

Jester looked away from the padlock and fixed his gaze on the thick glass.

“All bulletproof glass?”

“Yes. Be careful, Jester, you could break the bones in your hand if you knock on it carelessly.”

“Wow, that’s intense.”

Jester lowered his hand, which had been tapping on the window, and let out a hollow laugh.

“At this point, I’m really curious about the homeowner.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I think they must be extraordinary. I’d like to meet them someday and see what kind of person they are.”

“…Me too, Jester. If he ever returns, I’d like to introduce you to him.”

Weather whispered softly and sealed the last window. Soon, he quickly prepared breakfast. As Jester wished, they ate together.

Perhaps his claim of being a light eater wasn’t a lie, as Weather barely ate, consuming about a third of what Jester ate. It was amazing how he maintained such a sturdy physique despite eating so little. He finished his meal quickly and, as always, watched Jester.

“Jester, is there anything you want to eat?”

“Something I want to eat?”

“Yes. I think you’re probably tired of stew. If there’s anything you particularly want to eat, tell me. I’ll get it for you.”

Weather, who had just finished washing the dishes, asked while making a note on a shopping list. Something he wanted to eat. He hadn’t really thought about food until now, but after being asked, an image immediately came to mind.

“I have something in mind.”

“What is it?”

“Beer. And for snacks, hmm. Potato chips would be good.”

“Okay. How about for meals?”

“Would pizza be possible?”

“Something like that wouldn’t be difficult. Tell me if there’s anything else.”

“It’s okay. That’s all for now.”

“Really? Alright.”

While Weather, after meticulously taking notes, went to get a shopping basket, Jester quenched his thirst, which had arisen since he thought of beer, with water. I should drink a lot of beer tonight and drift off to sleep. Just as he stretched, feeling drowsy, Weather approached. Holding not a shopping basket, but a gas mask.

Jester, puzzled, asked,

“Why are you holding that?”

“It’s because… there’s something I foolishly didn’t think of…. I’m sorry, but Jester, please wear this for a moment. Because I locked all the doors, it’s difficult to ventilate.”

“Ventilate? Suddenly?”

The mansion didn’t smell enough to warrant ventilation. Thanks to the all-around housekeeper Weather, it was sufficiently pleasant, and the temperature and humidity were maintained at a suitable level for the patient, Jester. But why the sudden need for ventilation? And what reason was there to wear a gas mask just because he couldn’t ventilate?

“Why bother?”

“Jester, this is all for you. Just wear it without complaining.”

Weather urged him with a serious expression. Only after the bewildered Jester took the gas mask and put it on did he leave his spot with a relieved face. Jester followed him out of the kitchen.

Weather, who had gone into his room and come back out, was holding a heavy box in his arms. Somehow, it looked ominous at first glance. Jester’s eyes gleamed with interest as he strode towards him.

“What’s that?”

“Wait, no, Jester! It’ll be a disaster if you touch it!”

The flustered Weather backed away. Jester, smiling mischievously inside the gas mask, reached out persistently.

“If you avoid me, I get more curious.”

“No, I said don’t…! Ah…. Damn it.”

Where did such strength come from in a weak, frail person? Weather, whose wrist was grabbed by Jester, dropped the box. Thud, with a dull sound, something popped out of the scattered box. Weather, covering his forehead with his free hand, muttered a curse under his breath. Jester’s gaze remained fixed on the floor.

That is—

“A helmet and clothes.”

Scattered on the floor were a helmet and a jumper. Unlike the sleek, gleaming black helmet, the large, heavy flight jacket was so worn and tattered that it looked like rags. They were ordinary items that didn’t match Weather’s panicked reaction.

“Why can’t I touch this—”

“No, Jester. Don’t touch it!”

Weather strode over and grabbed Jester’s hand just as he was about to pick up the clothes. When Jester frowned slightly at the strong grip, Weather withdrew his hand, startled.

“Ah…! Damn it, I’m sorry. I didn’t control my strength.”

“It’s okay, this much is fine. But why can’t I touch this?”

It was only held for a brief moment. Jester stared intently at his wrist, where a red mark had quickly appeared, and asked. Weather looked at his white wrist with a pained expression and continued in a voice like a sigh.

“Because it smells.”

“It smells?”

He had put a gas mask on him and panicked about his hand touching the clothes just because of the smell? If he had to choose the most absurd thing that had happened since he lost his memory, Jester would definitely choose this moment.

“Just because of the smell?”

“Jester, this isn’t ‘just’ a smell.”

“How bad can a smell be…. Ugh.”

Jester, who had pulled down his gas mask while laughing dismissively, quickly covered his nose. Weather chuckled, watching his bewildered, wavering eyes with a calm gaze.

“See? I told you it wasn’t ‘just’ a smell.”

“…How can something smell like this?”

He could confidently say that it was worse than the smell of a sewer. Only then did Jester notice the footprints, mud, and traces of dried filth all over the jumper. Jester quietly put his gas mask back on and demanded an explanation from Weather.

“Sorry. I should have taken this outside first and then sealed the windows.”

“No. I’m more curious as to why you have this kind of thing in the first place.”

“That’s….”

Weather, hesitantly unlike himself, suddenly sighed. Then he began to put on the jumper he had picked up. Jester was aghast.

“Weather, what are you doing….”

“Listen carefully, Jester. This is my armor.”

Weather zipped the jumper all the way up to his neck and put on the relatively intact helmet. Even though it emitted a terrible stench, the oversized jumper made Weather’s physique look even more intimidating, and the black helmet, which completely hid his face, was strangely chilling.

“As I explained yesterday, it’s dangerous outside. It’s teeming with plague and criminals. You may not understand, but I have to do this to reduce the approach of others. The stench is a pretty effective defense mechanism.”

“For something like that, aren’t there too many footprints? Aren’t those marks from being hit?”

“There are people in the world whose sense of smell is paralyzed. Actually, so am I. I gradually got used to it and didn’t realize how bad it was, so I made a mistake….”

“You’ve been keeping that kind of thing in your room?”

“No, Jester. There’s a storage room in my room. If I put it in there, there’s no smell. You should know that, since you see me every day. Have you ever smelled a bad odor from me?”

“No.”

Jester immediately shook his head. Weather usually smelled fresh, not at all foul.

“See? The homeowner sealed the storage room in the mansion, and there are no storage facilities outside this mansion. And if I left it lying around carelessly, it would be affected by the temperature, so I had no choice but to put it in my room. As I said, fortunately, there’s a storage room in my room that completely blocks the air.”

Since he hadn’t been outside the mansion, he didn’t know if there were any storage facilities out there, but he had confirmed that the storage room in the mansion’s basement was sealed. Jester, who hadn’t experienced the situation outside, wondered if it was really necessary to go to such lengths, but it wasn’t entirely incomprehensible.

“I understand. I get it.”

“Thank you for understanding, Jester. Anyway, I should have taken it outside before you were shocked. My mistake.”

“But, Weather.”

Jester voiced a sudden question that came to mind.

“You said there’s a plague going around outside. Those clothes look like they’ve never been washed. Is that okay?”

“Ah, I always spray them with antibacterial spray before I come back home. Although it doesn’t get rid of the ingrained smell. Besides, we’ve been vaccinated, so it’s okay. You don’t have to worry.”

“We’ve been vaccinated?”

“Yes, Jester. We were lucky. We were able to get vaccinated secretly thanks to the homeowner. He’s actually a renowned doctor. He sent us a vaccine kit.”

So they were at least safe from the danger of the plague. Weather, sensing Jester’s next thought, shook his head.

“But as I said, there are more dangerous people outside than the plague. Of course, I’ll do anything to protect you, but as long as there’s even the slightest risk of you getting hurt, I won’t take you outside. Never.”

Jester, trying to read Weather’s expression, hidden by the helmet, said,

“Then do I have to stay here forever?”

“…….”

A brief silence hung in the air. Just like the moment he had said that the Jester before his memory loss must have liked him very much. Weather froze like a malfunctioning robot and said nothing. Jester kept his gaze fixed on him. Then, a calm voice flowed from him. His face, still hidden by the helmet, was unreadable.

“Do you hate staying here forever?”

Jester chuckled.

“I guess so? Staying in one place forever would be stifling.”

“Is that so?”

Weather bent down, picked up the scattered box, and headed for the front door. He opened the door with a creak, tossed the box outside, and looked back at Jester.

“Don’t worry, Jester. If you really want to, we can go anywhere.”

At that moment, Jester suddenly thought. Somehow, right now, Weather,

“It’s just not now.”

seemed to be smiling.

“I’ll be back, Jester. Rest comfortably.”

Click, he locked the door tightly and left the mansion.

🎥

Only old music flowed from the crudely shaped radio. The song, sung by a singer whose name, age, and origin he didn’t know, was excessively sweet. Jester, whispering along to the now-familiar chorus, turned the last page of the book.

Unlike the lyrics of the song, which whispered of beautiful love, the lovers in the novel met a tragic end. Whenever he read a novel with a happy ending, only melancholic songs seemed to play, but now, beautiful love songs kept playing. It was as if they were mocking the characters in the story.

The TV, which looked like it was several decades old, had a broken screen, there was no computer at all, and no mobile devices were in sight. The only way Jester, left alone in the mansion, could pass the time without Weather was by reading.

Thud, closing the second book, he got up from the sofa and scanned the bookshelf in the corner of the living room. Most of the books were related to love, ranging from classics to contemporary works. Jester suddenly wondered if this was Weather’s taste, or the extraordinary homeowner’s taste.

After reading several classic novels in a row, Jester chose a book with a relatively lighthearted title. This time, it wasn’t a novel, but an old romance comic book. The protagonist on the cover seemed to resemble him. According to Weather, his eyes were messed up, so the image reflected in the mirror might not be real, but still.

Would his eyes return to normal when his memory came back?

Jester stared intently at his outstretched hand and compared its size to the book. The comic book was significantly smaller than his palm, and the same was true for the regular novels. It was strange that what he saw so vividly might not be real. While he found it fascinating, it didn’t quite sink in, so Jester chuckled. He couldn’t rule out the possibility that Weather was lying.

From the moment he first opened his eyes and saw Weather, Jester had been drawn to him, but that didn’t mean he could completely trust him. That was because, while he accepted every word Weather spoke, he kept feeling an indescribable sense of dissonance.

What is it? What’s so dissonant? Himself, who had lost his memory? The existence of the secretive mansion? Or was it the man called Weather himself?

“We are lovers.”

“Lovers.”

The old hotel in Cellstone. Himself, penniless and causing a commotion, and Weather watching him. Himself, feeling Weather’s gaze and turning around. And then, as if he had never caused a commotion, he would have quietly stopped and met Weather’s gaze. Soon, Weather would have walked towards him, and when he passed by and headed to the counter, he would have felt a pang of regret at the broken eye contact.

‘It seems my companion caused a disturbance.’

But at the same time,

‘Could you put the room charge on my account and take my luggage up first?’

Weather would have filled him with joy.

‘I’ve been waiting. Let’s go to the room.’

He would have taken his wrist and led him away. He would have walked blankly, leaning on the force that pulled him, and ended up in a room he hadn’t even booked. And so, having started such an unexpected connection, they later became lovers. One of them would later lose their memory, but anyway.

“My imagination is working too well.”

The image of their first meeting was vividly drawn in his mind. Listening to Weather recount their story, he felt a familiar sensation. Even though he didn’t remember the past.

Perhaps because of this, although he was still full of questions about the chaotic outside world and the secretive mansion, he couldn’t help but accept the fact that he and Weather were lovers. Even though he couldn’t deny that his lover was also a somewhat suspicious man.

Well, it could just be an overreaction because he had no memory. Jester stretched out on the sofa and opened the comic book. For now, he didn’t remember anything, and even if there were a lot of suspicious things, his daily life with Weather was enjoyable.

Concluding his thoughts peacefully, Jester turned the first page.

🎥

“Jester, Jester. Wake up.”

He felt a hand gently shaking him. Jester curled up, avoiding the touch that was disturbing his deep sleep. As he buried his face in the crevice of the sofa, he heard a low chuckle. It was the voice of someone he had become all too familiar with.

“…Weather?”

“Yes, Jester. I’m back. Wake up now.”

Wake up and see what I bought. There was a hint of excitement in his amused voice. Jester, still curled up, turned his head and smiled languidly. He had recognized it with his sense of smell before even seeing it.

“Wow, pizza.”

The flat, large, square box flaunted its tempting form. A pleasant smell filled the mansion. Jester wriggled into an upright position, and Weather, pulling the heavy table with one hand, set out the pizza.

“I was wondering what to get, so I ended up getting the basic one. Is that okay?”

“Of course.”

Jester nodded and took a bite of the pizza. It was warm as if it had just come out of the oven, meaning he had probably just warmed it up. Only then did he realize that Weather had been back at the mansion for a while.

“When did you get back?”

“Not too long ago. Actually, I wanted to feed you as soon as I arrived, but you were sleeping so soundly. I thought the clothes would smell too, so I washed up and warmed it up right away. How is it? Is it good?”

Now that he mentioned it, Weather’s hair was wet. Jester stared blankly at his slightly darker ashen hair for a moment, then nodded.

“What can I say, Weather? It’s the best.”

“Really? That’s good.”

Weather smiled with satisfaction and plopped down on the sofa. When offered pizza, he shook his head and declined. Although he hadn’t shaken his head very hard, droplets of water flicked from his hair. Jester licked the droplet that landed on his lower lip.

Why are you eating that? Weather chided, roughly brushing back his dripping hair, and Jester grinned.

“I’m thirsty.”

“Should I get you a drink? Oh, there’s beer too, come to think of it.”

“No. I think I can just suck on Weather’s hair for now.”

Jester leaned his face against Weather’s shoulder and opened his mouth towards his wet hair. As he made an “ah” sound, the water droplets on Weather’s hair fell into Jester’s mouth. Weather, staring at him with a dumbfounded expression, burst out laughing.

“What are you doing, really.”

Weather’s green eyes shone vividly through his naturally disheveled hair. As always, he never got tired of looking at those eyes. Jester, feeling drowsy, quietly admired the gently curving lines and the subtle colors. Weather slowly calmed his laughter and tilted his head to the side. The yearning gazes finally met.

“Water won’t drip out just by looking at it.”

“It’s okay. My thirst has already been quenched.”

“You’re really strange, Jester.”

Chuckling again, Weather wiped the water from Jester’s cheek. Jester’s eyelashes fluttered at the cool touch against his skin. Opening his softly closed eyes, Jester suddenly spoke. You know, Weather.

“I think I understand now why you called it armor.”

Weather looked puzzled at the unexpected words.

“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

“The helmet and rags that Weather wears. You called them armor.”

“Ah, that.”

Weather recalled what had happened before he went out and nodded.

“I told you, didn’t I? The stench is a pretty effective defense mechanism.”

“That’s true, but I was wondering why you had to go to such lengths.”

“You were?”

“Yes. But now I truly understand. I think I know why Weather had to do that.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Jester pulled his face away from Weather’s shoulder and scanned his face. Weather, looking back at him with a strange expression, asked,

“Why do you think I had to?”

“Because if you hadn’t, everyone in the world would have looked at Weather. Everyone who passed by would turn around to look at Weather again.”

If the outside world were peaceful and safe, and everyone could walk the streets freely, Weather would have definitely captured the attention of everyone on the street. Just like how he was staring at him in a daze like this. And as much as he attracted attention at first glance, he would have been easily targeted by someone. Whether in a good way or a bad way.

“It’s tiring to stand out too much, you know. Besides, Weather has a great body. Even if you cover your face, they’ll look at your body, right?”

Am I right? When Jester asked with sparkling eyes, Weather frowned slightly. Because it was true.

“You have to wear something like that, even if it’s dirty, so that people won’t bother you as much.”

“That’s true.”

Although there were occasionally people with paralyzed senses of smell, most people were busy avoiding him because of the nauseating stench.

“To think that someone who has to go to such lengths is my lover.”

Jester whispered dreamily, staring at Weather’s face in a daze.

“This unattractive person is overwhelmed with gratitude.”

“Don’t say that, Jester. You’re handsome too.”

“If the image reflected in the mirror is real, I’m quite handsome too. So maybe that’s why. Weather, I actually can’t believe I’m unattractive.”

“Don’t do that, Jester. What does it matter if you’re unattractive, when your lover is me?”

Jester was the only one Weather showed his true face to. He hadn’t realized how precious that was until today, because of his memory loss. How lucky he was to have exclusive access to his face.

Yes, what did it matter if others thought he was unattractive? The way he saw himself was handsome enough. Besides, Weather was his lover. With him there, bringing him pizza even though he was just a loafer lazing around at home, what reason did he have to feel discouraged? Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to be proud of having snagged such a handsome man? The corners of Jester’s lips curved softly, filled with elation.

“That’s right, we’re lovers. Oh, speaking of which, tell me the story of how we became lovers.”

“Where did I leave off yesterday? Did I tell you about leaving the hotel?”

“You told me about getting on the train together.”

“Ah, right, that’s right. We got on the train together, and….”

The low voice, with a metallic edge, continued the paused story. Jester savored each word that Weather uttered, breaking them down and relishing them.

Before he knew it, the interior of a train, not the living room of the mansion, unfolded before his eyes.