SPM 3.5

Drive 10 (2)

“And we’re really not getting married…”

Of course, Terrence acts like a married husband every day, but that’s how all cohabiting couples are, so it’s nothing new.

Rather, Terrence, who was born in the Bible Belt region as a typical Southern man and raised with Christian family education in a white neighborhood where the Baptist denomination was dominant, belonged to those with firm beliefs and conservative values about the sanctity of marriage, just like all the Hunt family men.

Richard J Hunt, who stirred up America at the time, was the same. When he fell in love with a waitress just a few years older than his eldest son, didn’t he immediately divorce his first wife and marry Terrence’s mother? The fact that he made such a grand affair out of what could have been just a married man’s fling was proof that he carried the Hunt family blood thickly.

According to his beliefs and values, if he found someone to love, marriage was the right thing to do. Even if that marriage wouldn’t last long.

So Terrence too, of course he sometimes brings up marriage casually like a warning that makes Ian’s heart drop, but he’s absolutely not someone who would propose as a joke.

And what’s this nonsense about a ring? They’re together all day to the point where he knows what Terrence is doing every minute and second, so if Terrence had bought a ring, wouldn’t he have been the first to notice? But purchasing a ring at a Tiffany store was completely new information. He couldn’t help but hold his forehead, wondering if this is how rumors spread.

The fortunate thing was that his face didn’t show up properly in the photo circulating on social media.

Maybe because too many diverse people live on such vast land, there are so many outlaws on social media and even web platforms who absolutely don’t consider others’ portrait rights or human rights. Ian clicked his tongue in disapproval, even forgetting that he too was a citizen of this country with dual nationality.

Resolving to cover his face thoroughly when going out with Terrence in the future, Ian put away his phone. The number at the top of the screen had just changed to 3.

“Phew…”

As his deeply breathing chest settled down, his neat knuckles knocked on the door. Knock knock—

“Come in.”

With permission from inside the general manager’s office, Ian carefully turned the door handle.

As soon as he opened the door, what he found was the general manager standing in front of his desk, looking at a tablet PC with a serious expression. When Ian entered, he looked up and spoke indifferently.

“Are you our quarterback’s fiancé?”

At those words, Ian’s resolution to make a good first impression became meaningless as he immediately held his forehead.

“My goodness… where on earth did you hear that?”

When he asked while collapsing into the chair the general manager pointed to, he turned around the screen he had been intently looking at to show him.

Unsurprisingly, the screen displayed the free board of the famous sports community that Ian had just checked. At the top of the board, the post about Terrence and his lover, which had the highest recent view count, was flashing with a “Best” tag.

The reason such an important person as the Wolves’ general manager could immediately recognize Ian from a photo where his face wasn’t even properly visible was actually simple. He had been informed beforehand. And by none other than Terrence himself.

It happened during his rut, when Ian had briefly fallen asleep as if fainting.

As soon as he answered the phone, Terrence declared out of the blue that Song Ian, his bonded partner and a Wolves organization employee, wanted to take rut leave to fulfill his responsibilities as a bonded partner.

“Terrence said that?”

“Yeah. It was quite shocking at the time.”

It was essentially the same move as when he had notified the coach about the bonding last time. When asked why he spoke to the general manager instead of the coach this time, Terrence apparently replied that the representative executive who could handle matters for both players and front office staff belonging to the organization would be either the president or the general manager. Hearing up to that point, Ian couldn’t help but hold his forehead once again.

Of course, since he couldn’t be absent without notice, he would have had to report to the company eventually, but there was no need for it to be embarrassingly revealed like this. Especially over such a shameful matter as a partner’s duties during rut.

His flushed face wouldn’t cool down, so Ian flapped the document folder he was holding like a fan to create a breeze.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, these are medical certificates and confirmations from the hospital. There are also documents confirming the legal guardian registration for the bonded partner, but since it’s still too early for the court proceedings to be finalized, I’ll submit those again later.”

The general manager’s expression remained serious as he received the brown document envelope and examined its contents.

Finally, he spoke.

“Hmm. So it really was true.”

“What exactly are you referring to?”

“That the Wolves’ Terrence Hunt performed a ‘one-sided bonding.’ That the target was you, our organization’s employee. And that you two have even completed legal guardian registration. Whatever. Everything. All of it.”

This was the reaction of someone who had been half-suspicious of the numerous rumors despite hearing the story from Terrence.

It was the attitude Ian had expected. Even he thought it was absurd.

“Hmm, bonding triggered by a heat cycle.”

The general manager muttered while looking at Ian over the slightly lowered documents. In the subtly tense atmosphere, Ian unconsciously swallowed dry saliva.

“So, was this an incident that occurred within the organization?”

“…Yes.”

Even though he hadn’t committed any crime, his head gradually turned toward the floor as if he had.

“Hunter’s lawyer isn’t trying to sue you, Ian?”

Only then did Ian realize what situation the general manager, who was responsible for the players, was imagining, and he waved his hands dismissively.

“Of course not…!”

That is, a situation where they suspected intentionality on his part.

If they had seen how that guy acted like this bonding was an opportunity and tormented him, they would never have such suspicions…!

Ian felt wronged, but he wasn’t unaware of how others might imagine and construct the story based only on objective facts on paper. So to help the general manager understand, he earnestly explained the incident briefly in order.

“Ah… So you two already knew each other. High school classmates?”

“Yes. That’s right.”

“That’s fortunate.”

The general manager said casually while neatly organizing the bonding-related documents again.

“There almost would have been a fight among the organization’s executives. If the bonding between you two had been simply an accident between an Alpha and Omega who met by chance, the executives who had opposed hiring Omega employees regardless of whether laws changed would have risen up.”

Ian’s blood seemed to drain at his coldly objective hypothesis. Because of him, the company almost got entangled and the situation almost escalated.

Thinking about that aspect, perhaps it was great fortune that Terrence was the first to discover him on that day when his heat cycle struck. Ian secretly let out a sigh of relief and made an excuse that wasn’t really an excuse.

“Let me say once again that it was truly an exceptional accident. And since I had high-concentration hormone disruptors and suppressants surgically inserted into my body after that day’s incident, you won’t need to worry about any recurrence at all. I promise.”

In this country, modest and humble persuasion and arguments that beat around the bush don’t work very well. Since they highly value and trust confident assertions even with weak evidence, Ian also looked directly into the general manager’s sharp eyes and declared firmly.

“Yes, that’s how it should be.”

The bundle of documents lightly settled onto the desk with a thud.

“Were these documents from the hospital also shared with the medical team?”

“Yes. Before coming here, I stopped by the medical team and reported to Felicia Pearson, who’s in charge of the player. Since it’s the player’s privacy, we agreed that she would keep it confidential while explaining the situation only to trustworthy team members.”

He had just finished giving the same explanation to her, who was among the closest to him in the organization and knew a bit about Ian’s pheromone issues, and had handed over all of Terrence’s latest health examination data.

Felicia had received the materials with wide-open eyes. Although she couldn’t hide her curiosity about the relationship between Ian and Terrence, she didn’t pry further when Ian explained gloomily and matter-of-factly.

‘Okay, leave it to me.’

He had been comforted by her actions of not asking in detail and gently patting Ian’s drooping shoulders.

She probably understood that there were circumstances he couldn’t talk about. Especially when she said she would keep it as secret as possible and only discuss this content with trustworthy people, that probably wasn’t just comfort. He had that much faith in Felicia, who had an Omega son herself.

Apparently judging that there would be no particular problems after hearing Ian’s explanation, the general manager leaned back loosely in his leather chair. Seeing his relaxed posture, Ian also felt his tense body relax.

“Hmm, this is a somewhat personal question, but from my position of having to manage players, it’s necessary for the future. If it’s difficult to answer, you don’t have to.”

“No, please ask.”

“Then can I assume that you two are lovers, that your hearts are aligned?”

Since you’ve even completed guardian registration? Adding that, the general manager crossed his index fingers and waved them back and forth.

“…Probably, well. Yes.”

Explaining his developed relationship with Terrence to others was still embarrassing and awkward. Ian nodded, wondering how much longer he’d have to endure this unfamiliar situation before it became natural.

“Then mutual bonding is just a matter of time. I’m counting on you for Terrence. That’s what I want to say representing the organization. You understand what I mean, don’t you?”

Taking responsibility for the bonded partner’s health was the duty and responsibility of the bonding target.

Ian had no disagreement with the general manager’s warning words that pinpointed this precisely while holding the phone receiver between his chin and shoulder.

“Of course.”

“Good. I’m leaving it to you. Don’t forget that our organization’s fate for next season is in your hands.”

“…Yes.”

“If you ever change your mind and want to make it public, let me know. If we package it as a love story or something, it would probably be effective news that would attract public attention and then some.”

At the general manager’s joke-like remark thrown out before the executive office door closed, Ian forced a smile and turned around.

“Attracting attention…”

That was what Ian found most difficult.

* * *

Though Ian was born with an introverted disposition, he hadn’t always found people’s attention difficult.

He wasn’t the type to be casually friendly with strangers or to cheerfully express his opinions and lead conversations in gatherings of many people, but Ian was also just an ordinary person who got by reasonably well while maintaining appropriate boundaries in social life.

He knew how to properly greet the person sitting next to him in class, could approach strangers when necessary, and though a bit nervous, could present in front of groups without much difficulty. Really just that kind of ordinary, common student you’d find anywhere.

But everything changed because of that day’s incident. Because of that day when he first went on stage with his friends.

Certainly, until that morning, everything had been the same as usual.

Filming Dylan yawning while driving from various angles to help with his vlog, dragging the leisurely-walking Dylan despite being late to arrive at the history classroom and set up the tripod, it was all the same routine they’d always done recently.

Ian turned on the camera on behalf of Dylan, who was still taking things out of his bag.

This cute camera, much smaller than his palm, was something Dylan had recently purchased when he started filming videos in earnest, and though small, it was capable. It could capture movement more specifically than phone cameras and had the technology to sharply capture subjects even with changes in light and darkness, plus it had unique color tones and visual beauty that Dylan loved using.

That meant Ian, who had promised to actively help with filming in exchange for rides to and from school, was also familiar with it.

‘He probably needed something to immerse himself in.’

After coldly leaving Terrence behind in the dusty storage room full of cleaning supplies, Ian’s life had become even more subdued.

Was it because he spent a lot of time alone? Perhaps. Though he was living school life the same as usual, most of his time was spent alone except for commuting with Dylan and having lunch together about twice a week.

He had directly asked Terrence to leave him alone for a while, and Terrence had silently accepted Ian’s rejection. A few messages had come after that, but when Ian didn’t reply, even those had stopped coming long ago. Occasionally when he felt someone’s gaze and turned around, he thought he saw Terrence watching him from the opposite side of the classroom or from afar, but he didn’t bother to acknowledge it.

So essentially all the excuses Ian had given became meaningless, and now Ian was thoroughly choosing to be alone except for commuting with Dylan once or twice a week to help with his filming.

Even the classmates who greeted him in passing couldn’t fill Terrence’s empty space.

The difference between acquaintances and friends became even more pronounced when facing loneliness. It was desolate days like losing the light that had accompanied him on dark desert night roads.

*

After class ended. The hallway filled with metal lockers on both sides was more bustling with students than ever.

Ian stopped turning his locker dial and slowly looked around. Most of the faces passing by were generally filled with laughter.

“……”

Was it joy about the upcoming summer vacation? And about half of it was probably due to the excited mood of seniors approaching graduation. Among all these people, it seemed like he was the only one sunk in melancholy. Ian opened his locker door feeling a bit awkward.

He was taking out supplementary materials for the next class and putting them in his bag when he heard a familiar voice.

“Ian, wait! Help me out.”

At Dylan’s urgent voice, Ian turned around while holding his locker door.

“Huh?”

“Take this quickly.”

Dylan gestured toward the tripod he was struggling to hold between his face and shoulder. It was because he was holding a paper box full of various cumbersome things in both hands.

“What’s all this…?”

Ian quickly took the tripod from Dylan’s neck first and asked. He noticed the expensive camera still attached to the tripod since it hadn’t been separated yet.

“Why do you have so much stuff?”

“Kylie said she doesn’t need it anymore and told me to take it.”

“Ah…”

“It’s materials she was using, and I’m going to donate them to grandma’s church. They have a craft class that does this kind of thing there.”

“Right. The kids will love it.”

Ian recalled the children’s classroom he had visited once or twice following Dylan. The various art classes operated with support from the community and church were quite popular programs for children in low-income areas.

Anyway, Dylan was also subtly diligent despite looking like he’d solve everything with money when it came to materials. Not only did he carefully take care of donated items like this, but he also consistently attended church following his grandmother and did volunteer work, even though he complained it was hard every time.

It was probably enjoyable to help with filming because he was a friend who, while acting like he’d look down on the whole world and live his own way, also had such caring aspects. Ian smiled while taking some of Dylan’s load.

“Are you putting all this in the locker?”

“You know. I need to load it in the car but don’t have time. I’m going to stuff it in here for now and take it when I go home later.”

“That makes sense.”

Ian nodded, thinking about the concert that would take place in the afternoon.

With the closing ceremony and 12th grade graduation approaching, the school was bustling daily with various events like farewell parties. The concert to be held in the auditorium this afternoon was part of that. It was time for the orchestra and the choir that the two belonged to to fill the stage.

The two struggled for a while in front of the narrow, long metal locker. They were playing Tetris, trying to fit things in while avoiding existing books and belongings.

“……”

He felt an unknown gaze.

They say human field of vision is 180 degrees for both eyes. Strangely, he felt something odd from behind, so Ian unconsciously turned his head sharply in that direction.

“What is it…”

But all he could see were students busily passing through the hallway. With so many people around, there was no way to confirm that strange sensation.

“What’s there?”

When Ian kept turning his head back and forth while holding his locker door wide open, Dylan asked with a puzzled face.

“…No.”

He definitely felt like someone was staring intently at him. Was it just his imagination?

“…I just feel like someone keeps looking at me.”

“What? Which person?”

At Ian’s subdued voice, Dylan also turned around with the last bag he was stuffing in, looking around. Of course, what he found was the same scene Ian had seen.

“No. I guess I was just mistaken.”

Ian deflected while putting in the last bag with exquisite skill.

“Hmm… That’s unsettling…”

Dylan showed a suspicious look while closing and locking the locker door, but Ian just shrugged his shoulders.

It was because he had felt such subtle gazes several times recently. Even then, he had looked around in surprise but couldn’t find anything.

“Maybe it’s not just ‘nothing’…”

He had occasionally discovered Terrence persistently watching him from one side of classrooms where they took the same classes, so it wasn’t exactly ‘nothing’… Could it have been Terrence this time too?

As soon as their eyes met, he would smile awkwardly with an embarrassed face and give a brief greeting, then wouldn’t look toward Terrence again afterward.

“Hm? What did you say?”

“No, nothing. Let’s hurry. The bell’s going to ring.”

“Right. Let’s meet at the practice room this afternoon.”

“Yeah. See you later.”

Ian parted with Dylan and hurriedly quickened his pace.

Was it because he felt like he’d be late? The classroom for his next class was also far away. He was hurrying along while adjusting the books in his arms when he felt a touch that came with a soft “thud.”

“…?”

He couldn’t help but be startled. He had been sensitive lately with thoughts that he kept feeling gazes. Ian jumped and turned around like lightning.

“…Ian, it’s me.”

“Terrence…”

The moment he said the name, what burst out with it, was it a sigh of relief, or a sigh from his surprised heart?

“You startled me.”

“…Sorry for startling you. It looked like this was about to fall.”

Only then did Ian see what was in Terrence’s hand. It was the folded tripod with Dylan’s camera still attached to the top.

“Ah…”

Only then did Ian realize that when he was organizing Dylan’s things earlier, he had carelessly stuffed this into the side pocket of his backpack. And then both of them were so distracted that neither properly kept track of the camera’s whereabouts.

“It looked like your hands were full. It was hanging precariously and looked like it was about to fall.”

Terrence explained while gesturing to Ian’s books. The gesture of naturally taking and carrying some of the books in Ian’s hands while handing over the camera was no different from any time when they used to spend time together intimately. If only Ian’s uncomfortable feelings weren’t there.

“…Thanks.”

They awkwardly started walking again.

He couldn’t bring himself to act coldly and ask for the books back, or tell him not to walk so close and to keep some distance.

‘Well, it’s nice…’

Exactly the same as before when Ian didn’t know anything. It was uncomfortable yet so nice that it was hard to refuse.

He had been disappointed and hurt, keeping his distance to sort out his feelings, but human hearts don’t get cut cleanly like slicing radishes. Besides, their destination was the same. It was a class they had chosen together while making their schedules, so forcing distance seemed ridiculous.

Walking side by side, he carefully glanced over and immediately made eye contact. The rich brown-green color, like a fertile wheat field just turning brown, seemed especially warm today.

At Terrence’s direct gaze that had been openly looking at him, Ian awkwardly smiled, hunched his shoulders, and turned his gaze away.

Was the gaze he’d been feeling lately really Terrence’s?

If that were the case, it would be nice. Just that imagination made his heart race.

Maybe what he heard that day was some kind of misunderstanding… Would he answer if asked after his feelings were sorted out?

The thought that arose with “what if” cautiously raised its head above the soil of doubt like a sprout of hope. At the same time, an oblivious blush asserted its presence on his face again.

“Today… ahem, today’s the first performance, right?”

As if Terrence was also nervous like Ian had been, Ian slowly nodded at the voice that asked while clearing his briefly caught throat.

“Yeah. There’s a senior farewell concert before graduation…”

“I know. It’s in the main auditorium. I’ll come watch later.”

“Ah… okay.”

Since it was an event that more than half the school from freshmen to seniors would attend, it wouldn’t be strange for Terrence to come watch with his friends.

“I was originally going to buy flowers.”

“What?”

Ian’s eyes widened to the size of plates. If he had still been holding books in his arms like before, he might have dropped them all.

“It’s your first performance. Being on stage, you said it was the first time since childhood school plays.”

How did he remember all such trivial information? Even Ian who had said it couldn’t gauge when or during what conversation that had come up.

“Wh-what flowers? That’s ridiculous. Don’t do that. It is my first time on stage since childhood, but this isn’t my stage. I’m not the protagonist.”

Today’s protagonists were the 12th graders facing graduation, so he couldn’t understand why he should receive flowers. He couldn’t comprehend it at all and shook his head relentlessly in bewilderment, making Terrence smile faintly.

At that, Ian momentarily forgot his shock and was left dazed. It had been so long since he’d seen Terrence’s smile.

When was it that he stopped seeing that…? Before, he used to see it every day as if it were his own, and they’d smile back at each other… Such sentimental thoughts briefly crossed his mind.

“Right. I thought you’d react like this.”

The gently blooming smile disappeared again without a trace along with a small chuckle.

“So I bought chocolate instead.”

Either way. He was just going to stand on the concert stage as a choir member and sing three or four songs, so he couldn’t understand why he should receive a gift from Terrence.

But Terrence’s will to give Ian something was firm, and while Ian was troubled not knowing where or how to start objecting and refusing, his kind explanation continued.

“Don’t feel burdened. It doesn’t mean much. Just eat it and relax.”

“Ah…”

So that’s what it meant. He must have been consistently concerned about Ian, who didn’t enjoy being in front of people, going on stage.

As Ian was nodding after finally understanding the meaning of the chocolate, large fingers slowly approached.

Even though his fingers hadn’t touched yet, his chest trembled and his body naturally shrank. His eyes probably shook helplessly too.

“Why, why…”

The hand that had paused briefly swept very lightly and carefully near Ian’s cheekbone, like a feather tickling. At the intimate contact that came after such a long time, he tensed up unnecessarily and his eyes squeezed shut.

“…Eyelash.”

Along with the murmured words, the approaching finger had somehow become a clenched fist that disappeared into his pocket.

“Ah, eyelash… That was, um. It was stuck there.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for removing it…”

How embarrassing. He had acted overly defensive because the second kiss from last time came to mind unnecessarily.

Feeling awkward, Ian didn’t know what to do and bustled about unnecessarily while retrieving his books from Terrence’s hands. They had almost reached the classroom.

“Thanks for carrying them too…”

“What, for something like this. I’ll bring the chocolate to the choir practice room later. It’s open, right?”

Terrence asked toward him while entering through the classroom door.

“…Yeah. I think they said they’d keep it open continuously because it’ll be busy today for the performance.”

“Okay. I’ll stop by later.”

Unable to watch Terrence endlessly trying to get close like before while he kept pushing away and hiding, Ian hurriedly found his seat and sat down. If he faced that guy even a little longer, his expression seemed like it would crumble.

Whether good or bad, he was suddenly scared that all these unidentifiable intense emotions buried deep in his chest might burst out in some way.

Beep—

The class bell that rang just then somehow seemed like a warning signal. He seemed to have had that thought while sitting down and opening his bag zipper.

And that prediction was completely right.

*

When Ian arrived at the choir practice room and was changing into black formal uniform-style choir outfits with other male members, Dylan finally arrived with a tired face and plopped his bag down next to Ian.

“You’re here?”

“Yeah… I’m dying of exhaustion. Why are there so many small tasks today?”

Was his schedule quite tight? Ian nodded and listened while holding up a light blue tie, as Dylan muttered about how hard it had been while taking off his school uniform. The tie with Lloyd Jones’s symbolic color and school emblem embroidery swayed in Ian’s hands, slightly wrinkled.

Though he wasn’t ignorant of how to tie a necktie, his hands kept fumbling and the shape became strange, so he was retying it several times. It must have looked quite clumsy, because Dylan, who had already changed clothes despite arriving late, clicked his tongue from beside him.

“You’re not even a child…”

“No, I usually know how to tie it well…”

“Right. It’s not like you’re tying it for the first time, so why are you acting like a little kid? Aren’t you nervous?”

When he pinpointed the word precisely, Ian let out an “Ah…” then bit his lips and nodded. Only then did he understand what state he was in.

“Yeah. Uh… I guess I really am. I think I’m nervous, Dylan.”

“You said it’s your first time on stage. That’s understandable.”

Dylan sat Ian down in a folding chair, went behind him to tie his necktie, and patted his shoulders.

“But when you actually get up there, you’ll find it’s ridiculously no big deal compared to how nervous you were.”

“Right… That’s how it should be.”

You’re right that it’s my first time on stage. Yeah, I guess that’s why. He murmured in agreement, pretending to accept his friend’s encouragement, but he knew well that his nervousness wasn’t only because of that.

The person who would be watching only him and no one else wouldn’t disappear from his mind.

“Alright, everyone! Have you all changed into choir uniforms?”

When the music teacher conducting the choir shouted and asked from behind the curtain, Morgan, the choir leader who looked around, shouted back that they had.

“Then let’s move to practice the performance formation. We’ve cleared the area with the tiered platform.”

Only then did the male and female students who had been touching their appearance while looking in mirrors busily leave the practice room.

Ian, who had been helping Morgan fold the curtain that had been made into a makeshift changing room, also followed behind Dylan, weaving like a maze between music stands and chairs.

“Everyone remembers their position well, right? Maintain about one and a half spans distance from the person next to you. Yes. There, second row, could the whole group move one step to the right? Good.”

About 50 people standing on the tiered platform carefully moved and took their positions.

“Everyone remember the people in front, behind, and beside you and check your spacing. So you won’t be flustered when standing on stage later. Morgan the leader is the center, so use him as reference when moving.”

Watching the music teacher’s baton point to Morgan, Ian once more familiarized himself with the people around him. Indeed, unlike when they practiced sitting down daily, standing on the tiered platform brought tension as if really standing on stage. As proof, he sweated so much that he secretly took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped it away countless times.

“The entry order starts from the back, the third row. Once you’ve learned your positions, let’s rehearse from entrance to exit.”

Unexpectedly, there were many things to learn on stage, so time was delayed. When they returned to the practice room, the water bottle that had been cold was now lukewarm.

Ian grabbed the water bottle that had been placed on the music stand with his name on it and gulped it down. Perhaps because it had become lukewarm, unlike the refreshing taste from before, it tasted somewhat stale, but his throat was too parched to be picky.

As he sat down in his chair while holding the finished plastic bottle, he felt something crumple with a crinkling sound, so Ian jumped up.

“What is this…?”

It seemed like he had been too distracted to notice and had sat on something. When he stood up to check…

To Ian

The name written on the pink sticky note was definitely his own. It was a terrifyingly familiar handwriting, and the slightly crumpled, flat small box was…

“Chocolate?”

Dylan, who was sitting next to him, stuck his head forward and asked.

Although only his name was written on the note, unless he was an idiot, he could immediately tell who had left it. When Ian slowly nodded with an embarrassed face, Dylan gestured for him to open it quickly.

“Wow… Look at that box, pink and gold and so splendid. My goodness! Jean de Pardues Chocolatier? This is the brand my grandmother saves up to eat by herself… Who gave you such luxurious Valentine’s Day chocolate-like stuff?”

As Dylan clicked his tongue while looking at the heart-shaped chocolates, Ian’s cheeks burned red with embarrassment.

“Um, well. Just.”

Unable to explain that Terrence had left it, Ian suddenly pushed the box toward Dylan and asked.

“Want some?”

“Thanks. I was actually tired and wanted something sweet.”

When Dylan picked up one of the delicately decorated chocolates, Ian also carefully picked one up and put it in his mouth.

It was sweet. So soft and sweet it made his tongue tingle.

While savoring the heart that melted like silk in his mouth and disappeared like a dream, Ian blushed again.

‘I bought chocolate for you. I’m looking forward to the stage.’

Even with his eyes closed, Terrence’s smile flickered before him – the smile of someone who had been looking forward to properly celebrating Ian’s first stage performance.

This wasn’t even his solo recital, just a concert arranged to celebrate the end of the semester and the graduates. What should he do about the person who said he’d come with a bouquet to congratulate him for a performance where the entire choir would rush out together and sing?

‘There’s no way I’d miss your first stage. I’ll sit in the front row and listen.’

It had always been like that. As soon as he heard that Ian had started choir following Dylan as part of group activities, he had said that.

Ian had been horrified and disgusted, but he still insisted he would definitely do that. He persisted, saying he wanted to be the first to hear Ian sing. Then he playfully hugged Ian from behind as he tried to escape, lightly lifting his body up and down like coaxing him. The dazzling, innocent past version of the two of them filled Ian’s mind completely.

‘Will he really come…?’

Even though their relationship had become like this, would he really come and happily watch his performance?

Would he smile like before…?

Even though he knew that the feelings he had harbored alone, the emotions only he had been tender about, were all lies, his expectations were gradually growing due to Terrence’s kind attitude. Just thinking about it made his fingertips cold and slightly trembling.

Ian clutched the small but eye-catching colorful chocolate box tightly. As he was just looking at it, reluctant to eat it all, Dylan pointed his camera with suspicious eyes, so Ian was startled and hurriedly stuffed it into his bag.

“Give me the camera. I’ll film for you.”

“It’s fine. Just leave it here like before. We’ll have to go on stage soon anyway.”

As Dylan shrugged while placing the pencil case-sized folded tripod back on his music stand, Ian also nodded. Soon after, Morgan, who had heard news from the staff, shouted to the choir members.

“The orchestra has two songs left. Let’s move to the auditorium waiting room.”

All the students dressed in dresses and suits stood up and hurriedly moved.

After passing several corridors and arriving at the auditorium, Dylan, who was entering the waiting area behind the stage, touched Ian’s shoulder with worried eyes.

“Are you hot? Your face is red.”

“Um… Is it?”

Ian answered nonchalantly. It wasn’t surprising since his face often turned red when he was embarrassed, flustered, nervous, or for reasons even he didn’t understand.

Moreover, though he was facing the stage, he had been thinking about Terrence too much since receiving the chocolate earlier. Because of that, he could already feel his skin heating up and burning, so it was natural that others could see it too.

But while they were giving each other final checks of their appearance behind the stage, Dylan frowned and whispered again, unable to bear it.

“Really. You’re kind of hot right now.”

The hand that was folding Ian’s white dress shirt collar so the tie knot wouldn’t show lightly touched near his chin.

“Look at this. I can feel heat radiating from here.”

At those words, Ian quietly put the back of his hand to his neck.

“Really…?”

Since he was holding a new water bottle from the ice box, he couldn’t properly gauge the temperature.

From the stage glowing with lights, string instrument sounds were reaching their climax.

Staff students running around busily in the dark backstage area, whispering that they should get ready to enter soon from behind the heavy curtains; fellow choir members with tense faces like Ian, opening and closing plastic bottle caps several times to moisten their dry throats or clear their voices; finally, the music teacher giving sharp looks toward the students while handling his baton. Ian’s eyes and ears circled dizzily among them.

The tightly stretched air like violin sounds that rang faster and higher. Nerves tensely wound from fear of making mistakes in this first experience. In the midst of all this, he had no presence of mind to calmly assess his own condition.

“I’m not really sure…”

It did seem a bit hot, but maybe it was just from being nervous.

Thump, thump, thump. Ian’s heart had been beating faster than usual, like a drum, for a while now. But it seemed the other friends around him were experiencing the same thing, clutching their chests and muttering… Even as Ian tilted his head in confusion, Dylan still looked worried.

“Did you take your suppressants today?”

“Yeah, of course.”

He had been faithfully taking Professor Lambert’s custom suppressants, which he’d been dragged to San Francisco by Harrison to get prescribed right after his last heat cycle ended.

“I took them this morning before coming to school.”

“Then is it a cold…? Or are you really nervous and running a fever? But do people actually get fevers from being nervous?”

“I wonder…?”

Dylan was deep in thought trying to find the cause of the fever, but before he could find an exact answer, they heard someone calling them.

The orchestra’s performance ended to thunderous applause, followed by the emcee’s announcement introducing the choir as the next act while the orchestra hurriedly exited. In the end, Ian and Dylan had no choice but to quickly close their mouths and line up to enter the stage filled with hot lights shining down on them.

A moment of silence where everyone stood in their positions and not even breathing could be heard.

Countless eyes watching them from the darkness below the stage. Even though the stage lights were too bright and the audience seats were pitch black, making it impossible to see people’s faces clearly, he could feel it through his skin, through his entire body. The serious-faced audience members sat together with their mouths tightly shut, waiting for the singing to begin.

And then…

‘Terrence…’

The intense gaze from the front row looking at Ian captivated him.

Tap tap. If it weren’t for the music teacher tapping her thin conductor’s baton to gather the choir’s attention, Ian probably would have been staring at Terrence’s face for quite a while.

Soon, as the conductor’s baton cut through the air, the piano prelude began, followed by the song.

I am not yours, not lost in you

Not lost, although I long to be

Lost as a candle lit at noon.

Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

The song with lyrics from Sara Teasdale’s poem begins with words identical to its title.

Ian felt like he somehow understood her feelings.

The determination to not lose oneself, to remain completely oneself rather than belonging to him, to stand alone proudly even if lonely – it felt similar to his own resolve.

The first song finally ended safely amid the tension.

Ian secretly let out a quiet “Haah…” sigh, then as soon as the brief applause ended, began the second, more cheerful song following the conductor’s lead. That too passed safely, and when they started the third song.

That’s when Ian clearly felt something was wrong.

His body, which he thought was running a fever from nervousness, was getting hotter and hotter, heating up beyond his control. He tried to endure it somehow, but it was impossible.

Then finally, while singing along to the chorus melody of the third song, Ian’s Omega pheromones lost control and burst out, spreading everywhere.

“…!”

He could feel Dylan next to him startle and signal him with his eyes, but he couldn’t show any reaction. There were hundreds of people watching them on stage.

But despite his deliberately expressionless face, Ian’s intensely concentrated Omega pheromones spread fiercely, and soon murmuring began to spread not only among the choir members but also from the audience.

The gradually growing noise and commotion from the audience behind them was impossible to ignore. The music teacher, sensing something suspicious, raised her eyebrows, but as a Beta like most people gathered here, it was difficult for her to detect what was happening.

Unable to grasp exactly what was going on, she continued waving her conductor’s baton with a puzzled expression, and Ian finally squeezed his eyes shut and tried his best to contain the pheromones spreading without control, but it was impossible.

The pheromones couldn’t be controlled.

He wanted to hide somewhere immediately, but couldn’t. Thinking that running away now would draw even more attention, he barely managed to endure and move his lips to sing.

Finally, with only the last verse remaining, as he was finishing the song with a sigh of relief, someone shouted loudly,

“Wow, someone’s gone into heat!”

Starting with that exclamation that was heard clearly, perfectly timed with the end of the choir performance, explosive laughter and jeers erupted from the audience.

“Holy shit, that smell is killer!”

“Hey, fucking amazing!! Whose heat is it? Who the hell is it!”

“Whoever it is, stop hiding and just say it! I’ll fuck you properly!”

“Hey! There! The singing kid!”

“Isn’t it that one?”

Mocking shouts of “Hey! Fuck the O!” followed by whistles from all directions, along with all sorts of obscene harassment and dirty talk.

Only then did the faculty members who grasped the situation try to restrain the students making obscene gestures brazenly, the jeering audience, and the alphas waving their jackets like flags overhead, but it was already too late. It was impossible to calm the murmuring of students who had realized what was happening from all the omega-mocking comments.

The ground beneath Ian’s feet felt like it was collapsing. If Dylan hadn’t been holding him tightly from the side, he might have collapsed right there on stage.

Violent excitement and curiosity, spiteful mockery and slight disgust, plus all sorts of lustful harassment seemed to pour down on him. His jet-black hair was already out of his mind from the rising heat and pheromones.

“Crazy, I want to fuck him so bad!!”

As soon as those terrible words like a scream burst from the audience, a fight began with people clumping together like shadows.

High-pitched screams rang out, and Alphas, even more excited by the sudden scene of violence, shouted. Curses and the sounds of punches became entangled like the roar of a wrestling arena, making ears ring. It was complete chaos.

“Morgan! Morgan! What are you doing? Get them off stage quickly!”

Dylan, firmly gripping Ian’s arm, urged the conductor in a grinding voice, and Morgan, finally coming to her senses, quickly led the choir members behind the stage.

“Gasp…!”

As soon as they got behind the heavy curtain, Dylan barely caught Ian as he was about to collapse and helped him walk.

“Just a little more. Just hold on a little more…!”

“Ah…, huh. Huh…”

“It’s still okay. Everyone still doesn’t know. I’ll take you to the infirmary, to the infirmary, so Ian, please just hold on a little longer.”

There were no Alphas among the choir members. But that didn’t mean they could feel safe.

“Ugh, okay.”

Ian was barely holding onto his gradually losing sanity as Dylan whispered while supporting him by sliding his shoulder under Ian’s arm.

“Damn it. I should have checked when you looked strange earlier…!”

“Ugh…”

“Why did your heat suddenly break out? Ian, it’s okay. Just hold on a little longer.”

Among the murmuring choir members, Dylan took off his jacket and threw it over Ian’s head.

“Kids, what on earth is going on?”

The music teacher, who roughly understood the situation but didn’t know exactly who had what problem, was calming the students from a distance.

“Wait a moment. I’ll call the teacher.”

And the moment Dylan stepped toward the music teacher.

“Ian…!”