SPM 5.1

Drive 14 (2)

In fact, Della Bailey’s existence was nothing to him. Absolutely nothing.

She was not the only one screaming and cheering toward him during games. Most of them were girls, and cheerleaders were always included among them. So Della Bailey wasn’t particularly special either.

If it weren’t for Ian’s existence, he probably wouldn’t have even remembered her name. There were too many people who stared at him walking down the street, handed him water during games or practice, or hovered around trying to greet him. No different from pebbles on the roadside.

That day was the same.

The day they had to do indoor basic fitness training in the gymnasium because of sudden heavy rain.

Though he thought there were quite a few cheerleaders pestering him, Terrence’s attention was solely on Ian. More precisely, on Ian who had been having slight difficulty controlling his pheromones since the afternoon.

He needed to finish practice quickly and get him home fast. Since he seemed unwell, he needed to let him rest properly. He hoped it would end soon. He seemed to have only such thoughts.

He had been annoyed since the coach called him saying he needed to discuss something with the captain, making the end time late, but what made him most furious was something else. It was his friends playfully covering Ian, who was curled up asleep on the gymnasium bleacher steps, with jackets.

The guys seemed to have done it to tease him while also protecting Ian, whose pheromones were leaking out a bit, but either way, it was equally irritating. Terrence irritably swept those things away and lifted Ian as if waking him up.

Drake Arnold’s pheromones felt quite intense and aggressive, but he had no time to care about such things then. That guy, one year younger, had been looking at him unfavorably for a while, and what was urgent now was getting Ian, who was starting to emit rich pheromones, home quickly.

But had all these things somehow stimulated his patience?

“…Call me Terry.”

“……”

“There’s no one who calls me that anymore.”

The first kiss was good enough to die for, heartbreaking, and maddeningly sweet, but left him full of regret.

If he had known he would lose him like that, he wouldn’t have kissed him so hastily. He tormented himself with such thoughts hundreds, no thousands of times. ……He really suffered the entire time.

To make matters worse, perhaps responding to Ian’s heat cycle pheromones, he experienced a rut cycle for the first time in his life.

Seeing his younger brother suddenly go into rut, Bradley Hunt went wild with rage. He interrogated him about who the culprit was who caused such a thing, but Terrence remained stubbornly silent. Even if it was clearly due to Omega pheromones, who could be certain without evidence?

So he just made excuses that he seemed to have gone into rut because he wasn’t feeling well, took strong medicine, and shut himself in his room. However, perhaps because it was his first time and severe, it took too long before he could come outside.

He suffered under the blankets, thinking of Ian the whole time. Despite being in such a troublesome situation, Terrence was extremely happy that he liked Ian sincerely enough to respond to his heat cycle pheromones. Because it felt like his body was proving his heart, he could endure even the time of suffering.

However, what he couldn’t understand at all was what happened after that.

Ian began avoiding him.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that after that day, only questions and regret circled in Terrence’s mind the entire time.

‘What did I do wrong?’

‘Was I too hasty after all?’

‘Was it just that you got swept up in the atmosphere naturally because of the heat cycle, but you actually didn’t want to kiss? Were you upset?’

‘What exactly is the problem…?’

He wanted to have a conversation about the unsolvable problem, but Ian only avoided him. When he barely managed to bring it up after enduring for long, it was only a request to please leave him alone.

After that terrible incident happened, it became even clearer.

Regret. Only the fact that only regret was thickly pooled. Only violent regret intense enough to writhe in excruciating pain.

*

‘Terrence. When you’re next to me, other kids keep staring.’

Terrence quietly looked down at the trembling eyes that couldn’t quite meet his. But now he couldn’t even hug him when seeing such a face.

‘I don’t want to be the center of rumors anymore. I want to live quietly. Just… I want to stay quiet and graduate quietly. Please.’

Just yesterday he had felt proud that he could protect Ian by being someone who received everyone’s attention, but now the situation had completely changed.

After that accident on stage, Terrence had no choice but to comply with Ian’s request to please leave him alone, as he extremely avoided people’s gazes.

‘I should have protected him so this wouldn’t happen.’

His heart was torn to shreds and regret kept piling up on top of regret, but he couldn’t completely distance himself or just leave him alone. Lloyd Jones had already become nothing short of a desert that threatened Ian moment by moment.

Harrison, whom he met in front of Ian’s hospital room, made a bitter expression seeing Terrence standing with his head bowed and a shameful face. Then he gently patted his shoulder, saying he knew he had tried hard, but for Terrence, that wasn’t enough.

It would have been better if he could have properly prevented Ian from getting caught up in such danger from the very beginning. Not frantically rescuing someone already in danger, but preventing anything from happening at all. Then wouldn’t they have been looking at each other with affectionate smiles like before, sometimes laughing and chatting among the football team guys while peacefully chewing pretzels?

It was desperately frustrating to the point of headaches, but he couldn’t just stay still like a defeated loser.

‘Hunt. You’ve done everything you could. From now on, it’s an adult fight, so stay put.’

Though he knew Harrison was having a fierce battle with Drake Arnold’s side lawyers, there was nothing Terrence could do as he said. No matter how close to adults they were legally as soon-to-be seniors, they were still at an age where independence was impossible without parental or guardian consent.

They were awkwardly straddling a very ambiguous section. Minors who had voting rights but couldn’t buy alcohol or cigarettes, that is, whose bodies seemed like adults but were still legally thoroughly protected.

Especially regarding such legal battles, Terrence, whose every statement went through Bradley’s management, was utterly powerless.

That’s probably why he became even more determined.

From the moment he met Ian and fell in love, Terrence had decided he would no longer settle for where he was. He absolutely had to become a professional player and quickly achieve complete independence from his family, both physically and financially.

Now that he didn’t have Ian either, all he had left was time. Terrence devoted his final year solely to studying and athletics. At the same time, he circled around Ian from a very great distance.

The reason he stayed long after service at the church he usually just attended formally was also because of Ian.

“Whoa, that’s dangerous…!”

“Eek…”

“Give it here. I’ll carry it for you.”

Ian said as he took the large glass bottle the child was holding.

Even that sight seemed somehow precarious, and his body almost jumped forward to carry it instead, but Terrence regained his reason and hid behind a tree in the distance, continuing to watch Ian.

It had been a while since Ian started coming to church every Sunday following Dylan Burns.

To be honest, he felt jealous. Although he was close to being a Sunday Christian, unlike Terrence who always attended service with his siblings according to family tradition, Ian was the son of Harrison Bailey, who was particularly famous for being free-spirited in Greenwood Hill, and had never even stepped foot in a church, Ian had even mentioned that his experience selling charity cookies following Dylan Burns was his first time participating in a religious event, so he wondered how Dylan Burns had managed to bring such a person here.

And these days, Ian was really immersed in volunteer work to the extent that his skill seemed remarkable.

‘Why do you bring him every Sunday?’

Curious, he grabbed Dylan Burns after Latin class and asked, only to get an incredulous expression and mockery in return.

‘What’s it to you, exactly?’

Dylan Burns already looked down on Alphas, but at some point he had come to excessively dislike Terrence. Though he didn’t know the reason, he had never been pleased with that guy occupying a place by Ian’s side either, so it was mutual.

However, right now he was disappointed by his answer, so Terrence lifted his chin with a shameless expression and looked at Dylan boldly like someone receiving change.

‘What. Do you think I’ll get Ian into some great danger at church? Worried he’ll meet Alphas or have drinking parties together?’

The cynical voice shot back. At the question mocking what dangerous things he was worried about happening in the heart of the perfect Bible Belt, in such a pure and conservative neighborhood full of local youth who still maintained premarital purity, and even in a church where the majority of congregants were upper-class people who cared frantically about others’ opinions, Terrence was at a loss for words.

His words weren’t wrong. Even thinking about it carefully, wasn’t it the place most distant from debauchery, pleasure, and indulgence in the world? Whatever the inner thoughts of individual believers might be, it was a modest and safe place that maintained a fairly decent appearance of piety.

‘It’s because Sunday school lacks assistant teachers, so they asked for help, so stop worrying?’

‘…Why are you making the kid work?’

When he pressed, Dylan Burns fearlessly kicked Terrence’s thigh.

‘Kid? Is he your kid?’

Though he wasn’t quite paper doll level like Ian, his body was practically no different, so it didn’t deliver any impact.

Rather, his own knee probably hurt more. Terrence snorted at his thigh that wasn’t even ticklish. As expected, Dylan rubbed his knee with an annoyed face, probably because he hurt more. While doing so, he answered irritably.

‘Don’t you know that helping others is the best way to heal your own wounds? Well, since your brain is only filled with muscle, you wouldn’t know.’

‘Then is your brain only filled with straw?’

Since he was treating him like a muscle head despite taking the same AP classes, he treated him like a scarecrow in return, making Dylan’s face turn even more red and blue. But Dylan soon regained his usual arrogance.

‘Get lost. Don’t interfere and just watch. I won’t stop you from watching from a distance.’

It was something only someone who already knew he was constantly circling around Ian like a guard could say.

‘At least he smiles well when he’s with the kids.’

‘……’

‘That’s enough, you idiot.’

Throwing up his middle finger and turning away, Dylan left Terrence unable to respond. Because there was nothing wrong with what he said.

Thanks to this, Terrence also ended up circling around inside the church every Sunday like someone bored.

And after several days of circling around without going home, ignoring family members who looked at him strangely asking why he was doing things he’d never done before, it must have caught the eye of someone, because he eventually got caught by the young parish pastor and ended up winning the weekly parking lot cleaning volunteer service.

Sometimes while raking leaves with a broom, he had no idea why he was doing this here, but he was satisfied because he could circle around Ian’s side somewhat legitimately.

It was probably most absurd when he started with parking lot cleaning and gradually developed to eventually taking charge of parking guidance.

It was even ridiculous when his guidance counselor was very proud seeing his consistent church volunteer work throughout the year. When the teacher admired what a wonderful thing he had done and suggested writing it down on college applications as local community service and leadership, even he felt guilty. He couldn’t possibly say that he had ended up like this while trying to watch his unrequited love target like a stalker.

Anyway, Terrence secretly circled around Ian both at school and on weekends. Just being able to secretly see laughter gradually returning to his face over time was satisfying enough.

And as time passed and passed, when ‘Enchanted Garden’ prom posters started appearing on corridor walls from February, he gradually became anxious.

“Enchanted Garden… Which guys from student council came up with such a theme?”

David, standing next to Terrence, grumbled while looking at the poster, asking if there were only childish guys in student council. He even complained that if it had been the honor committee guys he belonged to, such a theme wouldn’t have even come up as an opinion.

But Terrence wasn’t in the mood to judge whether the poster text saying “Invited to a Night of Magic and Wonder” was childish or not. It felt like cold water had suddenly been poured into his head.

While he stood frozen in front of the prom poster with his hands in his pockets, other guys coming out of the locker room joined in the commotion. Seeing the theme, Tyler shouted excitedly.

“Wow, this is something, magic. I should take out my elder wand after a long time?”

“This crazy guy is at it again…”

“Why do you even have such a wand at home?”

“He bought it when he went to Universal Studios last time.”

Then, true to being athletic guys, they looked at each other with horror, asking why he was acting like that at his age, saying it was disgusting.

But that was brief, noticing Terrence frozen in front of the poster, everyone looked around and nudged each other with their elbows. They were telling each other to ask first.

Among them, David, who was closest to Terrence, took charge with a slightly nervous expression.

“Who… Ugh! H-how are you going to handle it?”

He had clearly intended to ask who he was going with, but when Rob, who was relatively quick-witted, struck his solar plexus from the side, David immediately softened his question like making a U-turn. Terrence pretended not to notice the football team guys’ ridiculous show and answered indifferently.

“I have to attend.”

Then Tyler, who still had zero sense, stopped talking excitedly about wands and asked cheerfully.

“Who are you going with?”

“……”

“……”

For a moment, an incredibly cold silence settled among the six or seven large male students. Everyone knew well that Terrence and Ian had grown completely distant. Someone even stepped on Tyler’s shoe, unable to bear it anymore.

Terrence answered easily with a calm and matter-of-fact tone, as if Tyler’s agonized screams while clutching his foot didn’t matter at all.

“With Ian.”

Then David, flustered, shouted as if asking.

“Didn’t you guys break up?”

The question seemed to have just popped out from being too absurd and curious, but what swept between them momentarily wasn’t silence but a terrible beating. Everyone looked at Terrence with pitying eyes while mercilessly striking David with their limbs, who had clearly hurt him. Even Tyler, who was clueless, was among those hitting him. David, making “ugh, argh” sounds while being beaten, protested as if wronged.

“No, but that’s true! Why is everyone pretending not to know?”

“You bastard David, you son of a bitch. You have no fucking compassion.”

“Did you want to say that so openly?”

“Do you want to see the captain cry?”

“If Terrence’s morale drops and we lose this game, will you take responsibility?”

Had he looked quite gloomy all this time, even though he’d never shed a tear?

The group beating was miserable. Watching this, Terrence didn’t stop them and just corrected the facts. Wouldn’t it be problematic if some guy misunderstood and offered Ian a ticket asking to go together? Just imagining someone suggesting Ian as a prom partner made him feel murderous.

“We didn’t break up.”

“……”

“We’re just taking some time.”

Then all the guys who had been beating David began sending even more sorrowful looks toward Terrence with one heart. It was a gaze full of sympathy, as if looking at a poor patient living in dreams without recognizing reality.

“…Yeah, captain…”

“It’s been quite a long time, but well, yeah. You could think of it that way…”

Some guy muttered from behind, “We call that breaking up,” but he couldn’t move to punish him because big David had his arm on Terrence’s shoulder and Tyler was hugging him comfortingly from behind.

“Well… Good luck, friend.”

“Yeah. Everything will work out.”

True to being athletic guys, they were being positive and encouraging anyway, but how superficial it seemed. Terrence snorted and made an excuse that wasn’t an excuse.

“So I won’t let any guy who asks Ian to be his partner off the hook. Know that I’ll chase them to the ends of hell.”

When Terrence glared, everyone shook their heads with incredulous faces and raised both hands in surrender.

“Don’t worry.”

David’s assurance was true.

At least among the football team Alphas here, there wouldn’t be any crazy bastard bold enough to propose partnership to Ian. Everyone knew that after that incident, Terrence had been chasing away Alphas approaching Ian from behind like a mad dog, so they wouldn’t dare.

Throughout senior year, Terrence had been glaring and showing his massive forearms threateningly to every Alpha approaching Ian. If he had gone a little further, he could have been reported for school bullying without excuse.

Leaving behind the guys patting his shoulder as if to say “do well,” Terrence fell into deep thought.

How could he go to prom with Ian?

‘I’ve never been to parties like that.’

Since he had said that before, he really wanted to go together, but he couldn’t even take him to the common homecoming party.

During last year’s junior homecoming, it was before they became close since Ian had just transferred, and during senior year, he didn’t dare try. Not only did Ian distance himself from Terrence since only about summer vacation had passed since the accident, but he was also very internally unstable.

Of course, Terrence could see that Ian was trying his best to act normal. To others’ eyes, nothing would have seemed different from before to now, but he couldn’t fool Terrence, who always observed Ian keenly from close range.

At the time, Ian avoided crowded places, and especially when there were people who obviously looked like Alphas, he would take detours or hide himself. From such small actions, he knew too well that trauma still remained deeply in him, so he couldn’t dare ask to go to parties together. And as he expected, Ian didn’t even come out of his house during last homecoming week.

With another opportunity to go to parties together passing by, only prom remained.

‘He seems much better now…’

Terrence fell into thought while secretly watching Ian playing with clay with children through the window, holding a long broom.

The Sunday school children liked Ian so much that they bickered to claim his hands while also lightly grasping his clothes with their other hands, circling around Ian. There were children constantly tapping his arms and pouring out questions, and children placing origami on his knees.

Ian didn’t lose his characteristic gentle smile and accepted each one, laughing “haha” with the children. Seeing that comfortable appearance, today was indeed the day.

He had been looking for opportunities lately, and since there were no other students around, he strongly felt now was the right time.

When the place Terrence had been sweeping for a long time became so shiny from sweeping again and again, all the children returned home with their guardians, and Ian, who remained, began cleaning up with Dylan.

Terrence carefully approached so they wouldn’t be startled and politely knocked on the already open door. Both people’s gazes immediately reached him.

“…Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Had there ever been such a tense moment? He became anxious enough to recall the feeling when he first became close with Ian, sweating in his palms.

“……”

When Ian couldn’t answer and just stared at him blankly, Dylan, who was collecting clay pieces nearby, sighed deeply and stood up.

“I’ll go get some fresh air outside.”

“Talk slowly,” he added slightly to Ian, making Terrence grateful for Dylan Burns’ existence, which he had found disagreeable all along. Of course, when he passed by his side with his nose in the air and an annoyed face giving him a look, that feeling almost disappeared like smoke again.

Terrence slowly approached Ian, taking his hands out of his pockets. And he spoke in the most awkward tone in the world.

“…Have you been well?”

He had no idea how he had stood in front of him before. Even his arms and legs hanging straight down felt awkward. Why were his hands attached here, why were his legs touching the ground, and how stupidly was his face smiling? With countless thoughts, Terrence wanted to turn to dust and disappear from Earth.

But Ian, whether knowing his thoughts or not, fidgeted awkwardly and answered.

“Huh? Oh… Yeah. I’ve been… well.”

“……”

“…How about you?”

“…Me too.”

Could there be such a foolish and awkward conversation in the world?

Watching him fidget with his fingers without properly looking at him, Terrence gathered courage again.

“Prom… I want to go together.”

“……”

“Will you go with me?”

Before Ian knew it, Terrence was holding a single flower wrapped in translucent paper, waving it toward Ian.

The ranunculus that had been making Terrence’s coat pocket damp every day as he carried it around for days, waiting for the right opportunity.

He had always thought the white flower with a slight pink tinge at the tips resembled Ian. But he hadn’t expected that circling around like an idiot would mean having to prepare a fresh flower every day.

He would have liked to ask while presenting a large bouquet of about a hundred flowers, but knowing Ian would find it burdensome, it was regrettable that it had to be just one modest flower.

As Terrence kept his arm extended with the flower without lowering it, Ian carefully accepted the ranunculus.

It was a good sign. Terrence didn’t want to give Ian too many choices or time to think. If Ian followed his heart that had started to distance itself, he would obviously refuse. So he quickly added,

“Graduation is coming soon, Ian.”

“Yeah…”

“There’s really not much time left for us to spend together… I want to make memories. You said before, right? That you’d never been to a party. That you were curious about it.”

“…You remembered.”

“Yeah.”

I haven’t forgotten anything about you.

“I haven’t been to a party with anyone either, except when I was little.”

Those tiresome events with the opposite sex. There was a time when he found this period disgusting, when everyone would excitedly watch each other’s reactions and test the waters. But now Terrence was more nervous than anyone, watching Ian’s reactions as if he had never looked down on those people. His one and only love in this world.

Even though he was learning for the first time that love could make a person so unseemly, the fact that he didn’t want to let this go must mean his feelings were utterly sincere.

For Ian’s heart, Terrence would be willing to become anything. If he could win back even a handful of Ian’s feelings, he would be willing to kneel, but if he did that, Ian, who disliked being burdened, would probably run away. This sensitive herbivore-like love of his required very careful boundaries. If he showed even a little greed and tried to get closer, Ian would quickly flee.

“After graduation, it’ll be hard to see each other. I’d like you to be in my last memory.”

But if he had known this would sound different to Ian, he wouldn’t have asked like this.

Terrence was gradually preparing for independence.

Surely Ian would go to Harvard as he had always said, or if not there, to an Ivy League school. But the university Terrence had to choose was completely different.

Ivy League football teams ranked low in college leagues. To aim for the professional draft in his senior year, he had to go to a Big Ten school. So for a better future, they would have to be apart, albeit briefly. This was the fastest and best choice to become professionally independent and continue being with Ian.

However, those words, the word “last,” had certainly moved Ian’s heart.

“Okay.”

He nodded as soon as he heard that word.

“Let’s go together. For the last time.”

The fact that he nodded happily at the long-awaited acceptance was something he regretted the entire time.

*

Terrence prepared with unprecedented enthusiasm and excitement.

As soon as his partner accepted, he immediately bought prom tickets for both Ian and himself, reserved a limousine far too early, and ordered boutonnieres with ranunculus resembling Ian. Even though prom was still more than a month away.

Not only that, he had a new tuxedo custom-made at the famous designer’s tailor shop his father frequented, and slyly ordered Ian’s tie and handkerchief in the same fabric. While it was true that Terrence had taken care of everything himself since Ian wasn’t familiar with this culture, he wanted them to look like a matching set so anyone could tell they were a couple.

Thus, on the day of the prom party, when he went to pick Ian up at Bailey House in a chauffeur-driven limousine, what he found was Ian with a shy face, sparkling more than usual.

Even when he got out of the car and knocked on the front door while adjusting his outfit, he hadn’t expected to see Ian like this. Like Terrence, Ian was also wearing a proper custom formal suit.

He didn’t know a suit would look so good on that slender body, so he stood there with a stupid expression, unable to say anything. Ian smiled awkwardly and looked down at his outfit.

“It’s… a bit awkward, isn’t it?”

“No?”

No, it’s not. Not at all. He firmly denied it at the speed of light before Ian could even finish speaking.

“It looks great on you. You’re the most beautiful in the world.”

“Ah…”

“Like an angel.”

Terrence said seriously while personally attaching the handkerchief and boutonniere. Perhaps because he was so serious, Ian blushed as if embarrassed.

As he was naturally tying a bow tie identical to his own, Harrison, who had been watching them from inside the entrance, came running out in a hurry.

“Since you changed ties, let’s take just one more photo.”

Before Terrence arrived, they had apparently already taken many photos with the Harrison couple and even the young brother, as everyone was dressed quite formally for being at home.

Harrison positioned Ian in the most beautiful spot in the garden and took several photos before gesturing to Terrence as well. Terrence quickly approached Ian’s side and put his arm around his thin shoulders. Ian hesitated a bit at the approaching touch but didn’t refuse.

“Yes. We need to record lots of memories like this.”

Harrison Bailey, murmuring with a pleased smile, couldn’t have been more grateful.

“That’s enough now, Dad…”

When Ian, who had been flinching awkwardly, tried to stop his father with an embarrassed face, Terrence tactfully intervened and took Ian’s hand.

“Shall we go now?”

“…Yeah.”

Holding hands after so long seemed unfamiliar, but Ian was a bit surprised yet didn’t forcibly pull his hand away. Perhaps it felt strange to be distant since they were prom partners. But Terrence was elated to hold hands after so long. His steps naturally became lighter.

When they arrived by limousine in front of an upscale hotel in Nashville, the party atmosphere was already evident from the entrance. Boys and girls in dresses and tuxedos were lined up on the lawn adorned with flower paths and fountains. Feeling the hand he was holding grow a bit cold, Terrence rubbed Ian’s hand just before opening the car door and asked.

“…Are you okay?”

For a moment, slightly moist eyes met his in the limousine where only the two of them were present.

It had been a long time since they looked into each other’s eyes from such a close distance. Terrence gazed steadily into the blue-tinged gray eyes and waited for Ian’s answer.

Actually, he had timed everything to move together with his friends like David and Tyler, who had been close with Ian at today’s party, and had even begged Dylan Burns, who hated each other like self-loathing, to hang out together today in case Ian felt awkward.

But despite all that, Terrence could have thrown it all away if necessary. He wouldn’t have minded being alone together in a corner of the party venue like outsiders.

He didn’t even need to take official photos. He just wanted to spend the day everyone considered an important life event, the day they said decorated the finale of high school memories, with Ian at prom.

As he waited with a calm face, Ian, who had been thinking for a long time as if pondering, turned his face. Then he looked at other students dressed up glamorously through the window, made a determined expression, and shook his head.

“I’m fine. Let’s go.”

As the limousine door opened and Terrence appeared holding Ian’s hand, cheers could be heard from somewhere.

“Wow!”

“For human victory Terrence, let’s all cheer!”

“Wooooo!”

At the cheers celebrating the achievement of his persistence and tenacity, Terrence clenched his jaw firmly. He wanted to beat up the guys right away but endured it for Ian, who was flustered beside him.

However, Ian soon seemed to get used to it and even smiled slightly. It was a good start.

What followed wasn’t as bad as he expected. The football team guys warmly welcomed Ian back like before, and Dylan Burns also carefully looked after him by Ian’s side.

True to the theme of “Enchanted Garden,” they took dozens of group photos posing as the photographer directed at a photo zone decorated with various vine plants, silk, and glittering stardust, then went inside and sat at round tables covered with silver tablecloths in the hotel banquet hall.

Constant noisy joy burst out from the male students in tuxedos surrounding the table.

“Ian, it’s so good that you’re back.”

“Right. Why didn’t you come to our table all this time? I really missed you!”

“The sandwiches didn’t taste as good without you.”

“You bring packed lunches. Made by hotel chefs.”

“Shut up, Tyler. Be quiet.”

Looking at the boys laughing innocently among themselves like guys who had sold their sense somewhere at a flea market for 2 dollars, Ian spoke calmly with a smile without being flustered.

“I was concentrating a bit because of college prep.”

Then sounds of admiration crossed the table as if honor students were indeed different.

The topic naturally led to post-graduation careers. With college admission results and being at a time when they had to choose their futures, everyone was chattering excitedly.

While chatting excitedly and enjoying the dinner courses served in order, the banquet hall lighting gradually dimmed and soft spotlights shone on the stage.

When the vice principal, who was newly appointed last year, went up to the small platform, silence gradually settled over the banquet hall. The vice principal in an elegant two-piece suit began speaking into the microphone with a warm smile.

— Good evening, everyone. I sincerely welcome you to Lloyd Jones School’s 20XX Prom Night.

Terrence clapped halfheartedly while looking at Ian sitting next to him rather than at the platform. Such formal proceedings weren’t his concern. Only Ian enjoying today was what he wanted to capture completely with his eyes before graduation.

— Tonight is more than just a celebration, it’s a place to celebrate the time you’ve walked together and the new journey that will unfold ahead. And from now on, we’ll continue a very special tradition. That’s right, the moment our beloved Lloyd Jones students have been waiting for. It’s time to announce today’s Prom King and Queen!

Excited cheers erupted not only from students but also from parents who came to prom. The sound of forks and spoons tapping glass cups noisily filled the round tables.

— First, please give warm applause to all the wonderful candidates. Thanks to you all, this year has shone even brighter.

The lighting softly changed and candidates’ names began appearing one by one on the stage screen. Terrence frowned. His name had appeared first on the screen.

Of course, Terrence knew he had received quite a few votes during the earlier free voting for candidates. But after that, with college announcements and daily worries about how to ask Ian to be his partner, he had completely forgotten. Then and now, he wasn’t the type to enjoy such flashy events, so just being nominated was extremely bothersome.

— Now, I’ll finally announce it.

With the jingling drum sound from the speakers, the vice principal opened the envelope, took out the card inside, and paused slightly.

— The 20XX Lloyd Jones Prom King is…

And soon.

— Terrence Hunt!

“Damn…”

A curse naturally slipped from his mouth.

Loud music along with applause and cheers erupted. From the moment his name was called, Terrence couldn’t keep sitting still. The guys at the same table were making a crazy fuss, lifting him up and pushing his back.

“Wow, crazy. Congratulations, Terrence!”

“Hey, captain! What are you doing? Get up!”

“Terrence! They’re calling you from the front!”

With several big guys joining forces to lift him up, Terrence stood up from his seat with an annoyed face. Of course, he didn’t forget Ian while doing so. He squeezed the white hand he had been subtly holding tightly, and only then did the blue gaze that had been blank turn toward Terrence’s face.

“Ian.”

“…Yeah?”

“…I’ll be back.”

He wasn’t sure if it reached him properly because the noise was so loud, but Ian clearly understood. The dazed gaze regained focus. Ian quickly pulled his hand from his grip and lightly pushed Terrence’s back.

“Oh, hurry up and go up.”

Only then did Terrence stride up to the stage without being able to unfurrow his brow.

— Now I’ll announce the Prom Queen.

Whether Terrence stood on stage with a sullen face, rebelliously shifting his weight to one leg, the vice principal’s announcement continued, and with the call “Sophia Bennett!” a female student in an elegant dress stood up with a bright smile.

After that, everything proceeded in an instant. In front of the two people standing at the center of the stage, the vice principal received a crown and tiara that someone had brought on a velvet cushion. And first, he carefully lifted the crown and placed it on Terrence’s head.

But Terrence couldn’t even properly register that ridiculous crown being placed on his head. Because from the darkness outside the stage, Ian had carefully gotten up from the table where he’d been sitting and quietly left.

“…?”

For a moment, all he could see was his angel’s retreating figure.

Whether the tiara was placed on the head of some girl named Sophia or whatever, and whether the vice principal spoke brightly into the microphone saying “Let’s give another big round of applause to our prom queen and king!” Terrence could neither see nor hear anything.

“Ian!”

Terrence immediately jumped down from the stage.

And leaving behind everyone who was murmuring in confusion, he carelessly threw off his crown and tossed it to David, who was crouching with his phone trying to take photos below the stage, then ran. He ran like his life depended on it.

As if dodging the opposing team’s defense, he weaved between tables and disappeared from the banquet hall in an instant, leaving today’s prom king behind as everyone was swept up in confusion and commotion.

However, among them, there was someone who clicked their tongue in disapproval rather than being flustered…

“Ugh, that guy really…”

David, who had ended up holding the king’s crown, sighed toward the door where Terrence had disappeared and slowly stood up. Then he lifted the crown high with his right hand and shouted theatrically in a playful voice,

“I’ve usurped the throne!”

This crown is mine now, he grinned shamelessly and boldly went up on stage. The flustered vice principal quickly regained composure and smoothly continued with his remarks.

“Oh, today’s prom king has changed. Now everyone, let’s give another round of applause!”

Since David had also been one of the strong candidates whose name appeared on the screen earlier as a finalist, the proceedings continued smoothly.

The prom queen, who had looked bewildered, gracefully stepped with the good-naturedly laughing David in their first dance, opening the dance party, and thus Terrence became a legend at Lloyd Jones.

As an icon of pure love who kicked off his crown the moment he was crowned prom king.

*

“Ian!!”

How many people here could be faster on their feet than him anyway? It was instantaneous for Terrence to catch Ian, who had fled from the banquet hall.

When he caught up in that instant and grabbed the slender shoulders, turning them around so Ian fell right into his grasp, what Terrence confirmed were Ian’s thoroughly wet eyes.

He couldn’t help but be flustered and surprised.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Did someone say something to you while I was gone?”

What on earth had happened in that short time while he was up on the platform? He had to know immediately why Ian had to leave with such a pained expression.

Terrence held Ian’s shoulders with both hands and turned him this way and that to examine him. He frantically checked in case Ian might be hurt or injured somewhere.

But Ian broke away from Terrence’s worried touch and shook his head vigorously.

“No, it’s not that.”

“What?”

“It’s not that, Terrence. Just, just I’m fine.”

“Does a fine person’s face look like this?”

“I just came out because I wanted to get some fresh air for a moment…”

“If you’re going to make excuses like that, you shouldn’t have been crying.”

Terrence murmured in a regretful voice and wiped away the tears spread across Ian’s face. The matching light purple silk handkerchief was instantly soaked.

“Why were you crying? What’s wrong…?”

At the careful question, Ian drooped the ends of his eyebrows even more pitifully and murmured,

“I’m sorry…”

Then he pushed Terrence’s back in the opposite direction again.

“I really just came out for a moment and was going to go back in. I saw other kids coming and going, so I thought it was okay… But why did you come out? Go back in quickly…! I don’t know the procedures well, but isn’t it wrong for the prom king to come out like this?”

Toward Ian, who had suddenly become flustered, Terrence firmly shook his head.

“I don’t need that stuff.”

Standing on a platform and showing off victory was only meaningful on the field. Someone might criticize him for being rude or ignoring tradition, but Terrence had never once wanted such a popularity contest first place, not before and not now.

“I told you. I wanted to come here to make memories with you.”

“…”

“Everything else can go to hell. None of it matters.”

What would any of it mean if you weren’t there? He wanted to add that, but it felt too risky.

Revealing his inner feelings to Ian, who had been avoiding him all this time, would probably be too much of a burden. If he wasn’t careful, Ian might run away again like a quick herbivore and hide in a burrow, so he swallowed all the words he wanted to say.

Instead, he suggested something else.

“…Shall we walk a bit?”

When he politely extended his hand, Ian hesitantly placed his hand on top of it. The tears that had flowed so mournfully had already dried.

Terrence led Ian to the quiet back of the hotel.

Befitting a prestigious private school in an affluent area, choosing a luxurious high-end hotel as the prom venue would come in handy like this. The walking path behind the hotel, where darkness hung low, was lit by small streetlights and enveloped them in a tranquil atmosphere.

There, like breathing in fresh air, Terrence took a deep breath. He could feel Ian also taking a big breath next to him. And what followed was an unexpected confession.

“…I thought I had gotten much better and returned to how I was before, but I guess that wasn’t the case. Being among so many people was a bit difficult…”

I knew it. Since he had been showing gentle smiles between David and Tyler, he thought Ian was completely fine now, but he was too hasty.

“…I’m sorry.”

Was wanting to spend time together just greed after all? Terrence offered an apology with a self-reproaching heart.

“…For suggesting we go together for no reason.”

Then Ian shook his head vigorously with wide eyes.

“No! Thank you for bringing me. When you said you invited me, Dad was so grateful too.”

“But you…”

I didn’t know you’d be struggling to the point of crying. As Terrence hung his head low, Ian first squeezed his hand tightly.

“I can’t keep hiding forever either. Because you had courage, I could have courage too.”

“……”

“The tears earlier were just…”

Ian raised his other hand with an awkward face and brushed the back of his neck.

“I was a bit stuffy and couldn’t breathe, and just… I just felt like I didn’t fit in such a sparkling space. That’s all it was.”

Hearing those words, Terrence made a bewildered expression. Like he had suddenly become a fool, he really couldn’t understand anything.

Ian was like the brightest light in the world, his angel. Though decorated tackily, Ian blended amazingly into this space decorated splendidly like the theme of an enchanted garden.

Star-shaped lights shining brilliantly in the darkness, layers of draped silk and a garden sparkling in all colors with glitter dust scattered over blooming flowers. If Ian didn’t fit this place, then who would fit?

But Ian, who had stopped walking in the dark garden, was looking up at Terrence as if he were the one sparkling with light.

“Thank you for being here.”

“……”

“I was really grateful, Terrence.”

If I had known that was the last farewell, I wouldn’t have just nodded. But Terrence was so mesmerized by Ian that he couldn’t even think such thoughts. Ian reaching out to him like a pitiful protagonist with the dim streetlight as a spotlight was so beautiful that he stared blankly without any thoughts.

Ian said with a shy face.

“It’s a bit late, but… shall we dance?”

Was the walking path right behind the banquet hall where they had stayed? The calm, slow song the DJ was playing was flowing into the garden.

So there was no time to hesitate. Terrence took the outstretched hand as if bewitched. Forever, whenever and wherever it reached out to him, the hand of his angel that he could never refuse.

He held one hand and placed the other on Ian’s waist. And slowly moving his feet, he moved slowly in place. A once-popular song spread gently from afar and covered them.

Forever, always… could we stay this close?

Listening to the lyrics the singer quietly murmured, Terrence pulled the person in his arms closer. Whether intoxicated by the music, the light body was obediently drawn into his embrace.

You’re my, my, my lover.

If only the yearning cry singing that you are my lover could be an eternal, unchanging truth at this moment, there would be nothing more to wish for.

Terrence closed his eyes, overlapping his face above Ian’s head, which was gently leaning against his shoulder and chest.

Repeating to himself that only you, only you are always my lover.

A gentle breeze arose between them as they swayed softly to the music in the darkness where no one existed.

* * *

Like that.

Like that, he thought he could hold hands with Ian, who had now recovered from his wounds, and move forward again.

Really, Terrence had prepared everything perfectly. So they could get away from the things that tormented them and start anew in a new place.

They were young. That meant there were countless days ahead, so he had prepared and planned everything so they could spend each upcoming day together.

Terrence irritably folded the University of Michigan enrollment confirmation he had looked at countless times, stuffed it into his pocket, and ran madly again while wearing his graduation cap. But no matter how much he ran through the graduation venue and its surroundings, passing between students in dark green graduation caps, parents, and external guests like family members, he couldn’t find Ian.

Even when he went up to the podium to receive his diploma in turn, not only Ian’s face but not even his name was called, making him feel something was strange.

No, if it was Ian, he might not want to come forward in front of everyone. Just as he tried to move again, denying that Ian had intentionally been absent, someone grabbed him strongly.

“Terrence! Why do you keep running around?”

It was Bradley, very formally dressed for his younger brother’s graduation ceremony.

Even though the only person he couldn’t refuse was looking at him with a stern face, Terrence shook his head violently and muttered.

“Just a moment, brother. Just let me go for a moment.”

“What exactly are you looking for? Graduation is over, and our whole family is here!”

Only then did he notice the people standing behind Bradley. His younger brother Cedric, Mrs. Virginia who had looked after him for a long time, and even his father, whom he hadn’t seen in so long that he almost forgot his face and who naturally never attended such occasions, and even his aunts. Like other students, all his relatives and guests were gathered.

“Come here quickly. Father is waiting.”

Regardless of how pathetic he thought his father was, Bradley, who treated Richard Hunt very affectionately and respectfully in public like he had oil on him, politely escorted his aunts while busily pulling Terrence’s arm.

“My brother graduating summa cum laude from Lloyd Jones. I’m really proud.”

Bradley patted Terrence’s shoulder with a slightly overwhelmed face, watching the golden stole and gold cord on his dark graduation gown sparkle and sway in the lighting.

But Terrence wasn’t happy about that congratulation at all. A golden stole? This should have been draped over Ian’s graduation gown. His grades, which had been just decent, became excellent like this because he was with Ian…

He wouldn’t have lived this diligently without him. It was also Ian who taught him how to improve the quality of assignments. Because he learned so much from Ian’s efficient study methods, he could achieve such grades.

Ian had worked much harder than him and had much better grades too. Moreover, the church service that the principal so proudly mentioned was service he did simply to be by Ian’s side, completely fake service without a grain of sincerity.

“This isn’t, this isn’t right.”

“What?”

“It’s not mine, brother.”

“Haha, what’s not yours? Of course it’s yours. Valedictorian like me. Truly fitting attire for someone who will bring more honor to our family. Did you see, Aunt? The kid is so modest.”

“Yes. You raised your younger brother very well, Bradley.”

“Thank you.”

Bradley patted Terrence’s shoulder and showed a truly proud expression.

But as they took several photos, Terrence kept looking around and couldn’t focus on the guests, so Bradley sighed and whispered sternly to his younger brother.

“Why are you being so rude to the guests? Who are you looking for?”

“Ian, I don’t see Ian.”

Terrence was distracted and just answered the question. He muttered absentmindedly while keeping his gaze elsewhere, not expecting his brother to understand.

That’s why he didn’t expect this reaction. As soon as Bradley heard the name Terrence mentioned, he scowled with displeasure.

“That Omega again? I thought you two weren’t meeting anymore.”

At the fact that Bradley knew Ian, Terrence finally turned his attention to his brother.

“After you went through rut because of him last year, I thought you had come to your senses since you weren’t meeting anymore. I thought you had clearly understood the lesson I kept telling you.”

“…?”

“But you went to prom with that Omega too? And there are even rumors that you abandoned your prom king position to chase after him. Did you think about how much everyone would have gossiped about you if the Burkholder boy hadn’t immediately taken the crown? Lloyd Jones’s prom king isn’t just a simple popularity contest! It’s an incredibly honorable moment that students participate in earnestly and the school decides on! To throw cold water on such an occasion. I nearly fainted when I heard you disrespectfully and arrogantly ignored everyone’s feelings and ran out. Thank goodness David had the wit to handle it, seriously.”

Like someone who had been holding back to give this lecture, Bradley turned his back on his family and scolded Terrence in a low voice.

“Ian Bailey, was it? Since you were keeping your distance at school too, I thought he had also taken my advice to heart, but to run away from that place with you. No matter how immature he is, I didn’t think he’d be this out of his mind. What an embarrassment. Even if Bailey is like that by nature, you at least shouldn’t have acted that way, Terrence. How hard have I been teaching and warning you all this time…”

Bradley’s grumbling couldn’t continue. Because Terrence had violently grabbed his brother’s shoulders, which had become smaller than his own.

“What did you say?”

The perfect formal suit wrinkled in Terrence’s large grip.

“How do you know him? What advice did you give Ian?”

Perhaps sensing rebellion in his younger brother’s blazing eyes and unusual behavior, Bradley looked around and firmly but politely shook off his brother’s arm. Then he brushed off his arms and sleeves with displeasure and said,

“Why wouldn’t I know? Do you think the news about the return of the Bailey family’s eldest son, who’s been the talk of the town, wouldn’t reach my ears? As a politician, one must keep up with local news.”

“…Brother. You know that’s not what I’m asking.”

“Besides, how could I not know when I met that Omega directly?”

Bradley’s thick index finger pressed against Terrence’s chest while pretending to adjust the golden sash draped over his shoulders.

“Still, that kid seems smarter than you. The way he understood immediately when I warned him and kept his distance, and how he’s left so quickly now.”

“…”

“He wasn’t visible today, so I suppose he received his diploma early and left? Considering he got involved in that strange incident last year, it’s wise. The world might seem sympathetic to victims, but it’s absolutely not. People just remember him as an Omega involved in scandal.”

“…What exactly did you say about us?”

“What would there be? I told him to keep his distance from you if he had any sense. You need to come to your senses too, Terrence. Did you think I wouldn’t know that your rut was because of that child’s heat? If you were emotionally affected to that degree, keeping away is right. What would happen if you young kids who haven’t even graduated high school kept hanging around together and got pregnant! That would be the real family disgrace.”

At those words, Terrence understood the entire situation and at the same time completely gave up, as if sinking to the bottom of a dark sea.

So that’s how it was.

Terrence’s choice had been correct. Disappointment in himself and his family flooded over him to a sickening degree. Especially toward himself, he felt not just disappointment but disgust. Everything surrounding him had hurt Ian, and he hadn’t even known it.

It was also instantaneous when Terrence roughly pushed Bradley away to create distance.

“Brother, I’m leaving.”

“…Terrence?”

“Thank you for raising me when everyone else abandoned me.”

“…”

“But I think I’ve repaid that debt sufficiently by living as you told me to until today.”

Terrence removed the golden sash and cord from his shoulders and thrust them into Bradley’s arms.

“I’ve done enough. Now you live your own life too.”

“What is this…?”

“The family name you hold so honorably, you can have it all. I don’t need it anymore. I’m going to abandon everything and leave.”

Terrence held out the University of Michigan enrollment confirmation he had been carefully carrying to show Ian. After quickly scanning the document his brother handed him, Bradley looked stunned as if he’d been hit, then his face became desperate.

“Then, then. University of Tennessee is… your football scholarship is…?”

“I refused all of that from the beginning.”

It was natural for him, who had always been confident and calm, to be frustrated. How much had he been selling Terrence’s name to the local dignitaries, acting as if he had already become the ace of the Volunteers team?

At first, he had simply wanted his brother’s proud success, but somewhere along the way it had become corrupted into greed and expectations that it would become a major pillar in his political career recovery. Or perhaps it was slightly twisted love that came crashing down in an instant.

The University of Michigan Wolverines were also a traditional football powerhouse and a prestigious football school in the Big Ten. Moreover, the university itself was called the public Ivy, being among the top-tier prestigious universities, so there was nothing for Terrence to be ashamed of to his family.

Most importantly, the reason he chose this university was that it was far from Tennessee, beyond the reach of Congressman Bradley Hunt’s influence. To prevent unhealthy expectations from growing further, to completely destroy them, this was the only method left.

Both he and his brother needed to be alone.

Terrence carefully removed his graduation gown and cap. And to his brother, who stood there with a bewildered expression unable to say anything, to the guardian who had been selfish but was the only one in this house who had cared for him, he gave a final embrace.

“Take care, brother.”

“…”

“Goodbye.”

And so he left, abandoning everything.

Because Greenwood Hill without Ian held no meaning at all.