SURE 18

I wonder if he ate the tteokbokki. He didn’t seem like the type to not take credit for his good deeds, so the fact that there’s been no word from him must mean he was either too busy and forgot, or it didn’t taste good. I decided not to dwell on it, whatever the reason. Expecting something in return for a good deed only tires me out. No, was it even a good deed? What in the Republic of Korea is more important than a meal? I sucked in the filter.

“He probably switched to another shop.”

As I muttered while exhaling the smoke, Jinwoo waved his hand that was holding the cigarette.

“But why can’t I shake this uneasy feeling I got from that guy that day?”

“What about it.”

I flinched. I hoped that a disaster like Shin Taeyoon having told Seokhyun and Jinwoo about me hadn’t occurred. Jinwoo narrowed his eyes.

“I was there for about an hour more after you left, you know? During that time, Seokhyun really went all out trying to hit on him. But he just smiled and didn’t fall for it.”

“That’s because he’s not into guys. Besides, isn’t Seokhyun a bit loud?”

“Nah. That’s not it. Woon-ah, have you ever seen this hyung-nim be wrong? That guy is definitely into guys.”

Even if Shin Taeyoon had said something unnecessary in the bathroom, to me it was just an empty promise. I still wasn’t sure he was gay. Of course, it was also true that Jinwoo was good at spotting people who were into guys. Still, I shook my head. Whichever way Shin Taeyoon’s sexual identity leaned, the time for me to be interested in such things had passed.

‘Please, raise your standards in men. That way, you can gauge the timing to openly make a move.’

The long ash dangling from the cigarette dropped off with a plop. Right, that time has passed. How important could confirming his sexual identity be, when he had an attitude of expressing active interest while also taking a step back to enjoy my reaction?

The relationship between Shin Taeyoon and me was extremely ambiguous. That we met as business contacts and somehow ended up as neighbors was one thing. In fact, if I looked for it, connections overlapping through coincidence probably weren’t that rare. How big could the Seoul area be? Besides, our company and home are in the same district, so moving here is understandable.

To be honest, it would be cleaner and more comfortable to just sleep together once and be done with it. Even though I’ve been in countless relationships, I could never stand it when feelings deepened. A relationship where both parties are lightly satisfied and then part ways is incredibly difficult, more so than one might think. I’ve often seen cases where people change into something more sordid than beasts, crying that they’ll live or die because of you. I don’t even have to look far. Just remembering the day Yoon Sungjoon staged a protest in front of my house gave me a headache.

I was tired in many ways. There was no way I wouldn’t know that Shin Taeyoon was repeatedly mentioning tomorrow’s meeting because he wanted to connect with me emotionally. Telling me to raise my standards in men… How ridiculous.

He straddled the line precariously. He would even pretend not to hear what people said, relentlessly pushing forward to get what he wanted, then suddenly change direction and act affectionate. Now I wonder which side I’m supposed to play along with. And yet, I made tteokbokki with my own hands today and sent it over. Ugh, Shin Taeyoon is one thing, but what am I really doing? Think of something else, something else.

“…Is Yoon Sungjoon’s wedding next week?”

I asked suddenly while looking up at the dusky sky, and Jinwoo started coughing.

“Why is that bastard’s name coming up all of a sudden when we’re talking about a handsome guy?”

“I know, right.”

“Woon-ah. Don’t worry about that Yoon Sungjoon guy. Something fun is going to happen at the wedding. For your information, I’m going to go watch with Seokhyun that day.”

“Why, again.”

“Did you ever lend Yoon Sungjoon money?”

“No.”

The topic is veering off in a strange direction. I have never been financially entangled with Yoon Sungjoon or any of the men I’ve dated so far. And Yoon Sungjoon, although he’s now been identified as a pain in the ass, used to voluntarily pay a good portion of the dating expenses.

“A guy Yoon Sungjoon dated a few years ago, I heard he was a businessman too. Anyway, it seems that bastard borrowed fifty million won or something because he was short on his apartment deposit even after scraping everything together. But he supposedly didn’t pay it back even after moving out last year. I guess that guy heard the news of the wedding and got so pissed off he said he’d crash the ceremony. So Yoon Sungjoon has been contacting him again and it’s a whole mess.”

Just… one thing after another. To think there was still room to be more surprised. Why on earth does he live like that… At this point, I wonder if this was a breakup blessed by the heavens. Jinwoo chuckled, saying it was like I stepped in shit, and that he and Seokhyun would go enjoy the show on my behalf, each contributing fifty thousand won as a wedding gift for the viewing fee. Then a customer came in and he went back inside.

How Yoon Sungjoon lives is none of my business. It was actually a relief that bringing up Yoon Sungjoon stopped me from hearing Jinwoo’s reason for feeling uneasy about Shin Taeyoon. I smoked one more cigarette and went into the convenience store, grabbing a basket. My brain capacity was already maxed out for the day. To keep from thinking about anything, I put things in my basket as my hand landed on them. Since I was buying beer anyway, I decided to stock up and asked for a case stacked on one side. Jinwoo bustled about, saying, “Yes! Sir!”

The barcode scanner beeped endlessly over the products. Jinwoo skillfully packed the items I chose into a pay-by-volume garbage bag. I spent ninety-four thousand won at the convenience store on just alcohol and daily necessities.

“We should be rolling out the red carpet for our precious VIP customer.”

Even though I said it was fine, Jinwoo followed me out with the case of beer on his shoulder, loaded it into my trunk, and clasped his hands together smartly.

“Keep up the good work.”

“Hey, Woon-ah! I’ll film the story of that bastard’s wedding in a super vivid video and show you.”

“It’s fine. I’m not curious. I’m leaving.”

“Yeah, yeah! Go! Call me.”

I started the engine and looked at the work phone hanging on its mount. Even when I tapped the screen, Shin Taeyoon’s name wasn’t in the missed calls. A dry laugh escaped me the entire time I was turning the car around and pulling out.

How ridiculous. As if I was expecting something.

Saturday morning.

I want to sleep in a bit, but I don’t know why my eyes open so early on Saturdays. Since I was up, I tackled the overdue housework first. Just vacuuming and mopping with a wet cloth took over an hour. After putting the laundry that had finished in the meantime into the dryer, I put the plates I had used for last night’s beer snacks into the dishwasher. Really… the dishwasher is an innovative item in many ways. How much easier it makes work at the restaurant thanks to the dishwasher.

Around ten in the morning, I started to get hungry, so I sat down on the sofa in a half-lying position and opened a delivery app. I was trying to pick something to eat, but I somehow ended up in the snack food category and even looked at the recent reviews for the Jungwoon’s branch in this neighborhood. I scrolled past the half-hearted reviews from customers who had received free items for reviewing and browsed through last week’s reviews, then changed the address to check all the reviews for the 17 branches spread across Seoul. Fortunately, there were no complaints about the rice cakes.

In the process, I ended up picking a lunch menu instead of breakfast. I considered getting pho, but I didn’t want the smell of spices in the house, so my final choice ended up being McDonald’s. Even after finishing my order, I browsed the app. The minimum order amounts for each restaurant had gone up a lot. Ordering just a single portion meant the delivery fee was more than the food itself, which I understood as someone in the same industry, but from a consumer’s perspective, it would be quite a burden.

For us, a single portion of tteokbokki is four thousand won, so we set the minimum order amount at twelve thousand won, but we are continuously receiving complaints from franchise owners that this is also too low. It’s true that the skyrocketing cost of ingredients alone is hard to handle. On top of that, the app fees increase every year. Still, it’s right to keep it somewhat within the limits of what consumers are willing to pay, so we support a portion of the delivery fee every month, but no matter how much the head office strives for mutual growth, we can’t completely resolve every individual’s dissatisfaction.

Running a business is getting harder and harder. It’s not for nothing that self-employed people are crying for help. But what can you do? If a clear solution doesn’t emerge, the vicious cycle will continue, and we have to find a way within it. That’s why the alternative of a discount for takeout was created. Since we’re a snack shop, our prices are lower than other types of businesses, so we can’t offer a takeout discount, but the franchise owners attracted takeout customers by adding one or two extra free items at their discretion.

The delivery time was set for 70 minutes. They probably set it generously, so it would arrive in 30 to 40 minutes… I wondered if there were any chores I’d forgotten, then thought, “Oh, whatever,” and lay down, picking up the remote control.

As I was jiggling my body while laughing senselessly at a variety show I had missed, the wall-pad rang. I got up, thinking it had arrived already, but it wasn’t a delivery person. It was Shin Taeyoon, who looked for all the world like he was ready for work. No, he said he was pulling an all-nighter, so it would be more accurate to say he was just getting off work… I didn’t know why he had rung the bell, so I just stared blankly at the wall-pad.

Shin Taeyoon, seen through the screen, looked quite tired. It made sense. Traces of his work were evident, unconcealed by his impeccable hairstyle and pale white skin. Even though I knew he would go back to his own apartment if I didn’t answer, I couldn’t bring myself to reject a working man who had just finished an all-nighter.

My feet went to the front door without being told. When I unlocked and opened the front door, Shin Taeyoon handed me a McDonald’s shopping bag. Why was this in his hand….

“I ran into the delivery rider in the elevator. I took it, thinking I’d say hello.”

“Ah…”

I took the shopping bag and just looked at him. Shin Taeyoon looked so tired he could pass out the moment his head hit a pillow. His skin was paler than it had appeared on the screen.

“Mr. CEO, did you think I thought you were hitting on me?”

I can’t exactly smile back at his smiling face, and only a question mark pops into my head. What is he talking about… ah, the tteokbokki.

“…Ah, I didn’t give it to you with that kind of meaning. It was just because you said you couldn’t eat spicy food.”

Facing Shin Taeyoon in person made me feel awkward, so I found myself stammering. Shin Taeyoon looked down at the doorknob I was holding.

“At first, when I heard it was mine, I doubted my ears.”

Slowly, his eyes move from the doorknob to my hand.

“When I saw the tteokbokki that was a darker color all on its own, I started to laugh.”

He makes the inside of his cheek bulge with his tongue, then lets out a small laugh.

“I wondered… if you act this kindly to everyone.”

He raises his hand and knocks on the outside of the front door, tap, tap. Leaning his upper body forward slightly, Shin Taeyoon gazed intently at me.

“And I came to the conclusion that expressing this kind of sincerity through a text or phone call would be insufficient. And asking to meet at night to say hi, well, that would make me seem like a person of poor character, wouldn’t it?”

He points it all out softly, as if he knew I had been waiting for his call. I couldn’t say a word. I was just foolishly holding onto the front door. His gaze, slowly sweeping over my face, was excessively dark. The area around his irises, which I thought would be a light color because of his fair skin, was filled with bloodshot veins.

“This is thanks enough. You look very tired, so you should go in and rest.”

I pointed behind him, at his apartment. Shin Taeyoon slowly closed and opened his eyes. The hand he extended enveloped my entire hand that was holding the doorknob. Warmth covered my hand. I dropped my gaze to my hand, held by Shin Taeyoon.

“I should do that. To be honest, I barely made it home. There were no spots in the parking garage this morning, so I double-parked in front of your car. If you have to go out in the morning, just take my car.”

Well, it is Saturday today.

Shin Taeyoon’s hand, which was covering my entire hand, slides down slightly like the movement of a snake, making me let go of the doorknob. I thought the door would close, so I tried to block the bottom with my foot, but my slipper collided with his dress shoe that was already blocking it, making me hesitate. He pulled his car key out of his pocket with an expression that said, “As if I wouldn’t have propped this open in advance.” The car key was placed in my hand, which still had the imprint of the doorknob.

“See you later, then?”

As the dress shoe that had been propping open the front door moved away, the weight of the steel door shifted onto my slipper. I probably won’t be going out, so I was about to say I’d return the key, but I stopped when he turned back.

“Ah. I didn’t mention this.”

Shin Taeyoon snapped his fingers and smiled.

“The tteokbokki was delicious. I liked the soy sauce one much better. It’s the first time I’ve ever finished a whole dish of something called tteokbokki without leaving any behind.”

“……”

“See you later for real.”

He was close and yet distant as he moved away. He was about to press the code on his door lock, so I closed my front door. The car key, identical in shape to my own, and the McDonald’s shopping bag were held unsuitably in my hand and on my wrist. I was thirsty.

I went down to the underground parking garage and found the section where my car was parked. If I had parked next to a pillar, he could have double-parked and there would still be space for the car next to me to get out, but since I had parked in the middle spot, Shin Taeyoon’s car had to be moved for the next car to be able to leave.

By the afternoon, cars had left one by one, and there were quite a few empty spots. I got into the driver’s seat of Shin Taeyoon’s car, which was blocking my own. The inside of his car was exceptionally clean. Without even the common air freshener or figurines, the interior was so spotless you could believe it had just come from the factory, without a single speck of dust. It seems he takes very good care of his car.

The model is one step above my car, so it feels much more spacious and the body itself feels longer. Still, the gear shifter is in the same place, so I handled the gear shift attached behind the steering wheel with familiarity. I find the column shifter to be the most comfortable. Yeonsu’s car has a dial shifter, and after driving it once and experiencing the bizarre phenomenon of my hand wandering in the air, unable to find the gear, I never sat in the driver’s seat of that car again.

Since it was someone else’s car, and the car itself was quite expensive, I drove carefully. I drove around the parking garage twice, parked it in a spot that was easy to get out of, checked the distance between the cars on either side, and turned off the engine. It was just a trip around the parking garage at most, but maybe because I drove like a beginner for the first time in a while, my tense shoulders were sore.

Can he cover the maintenance costs with a team leader’s salary…? Then again, they did call him a golden parachute, so his family must be more than ordinary. I felt pathetic for making such a materialistic assessment of someone else’s car. But it is nice. I never thought my car was particularly small, but after driving that car for a bit, it’s definitely different. Could I… work hard for another ten years and upgrade?

I returned senselessly, took a long nap, and when I woke up, it was already seven in the evening. I should probably start getting ready to go out. I showered and, with just a towel wrapped around my waist, spread on some toner and lotion. When I go to work, I style my hair with wax and spray, so I usually take care to dry my hair with a part, but there seems to be no need for that tonight. I dried it roughly and opened the closet.

Ah… it’s all suits. Other than that, there’s nothing that could really be called casual wear. Shin Taeyoon said to come in comfortable clothes, but I can’t very well wear a tracksuit. Rummaging through the closet, I took out a black short-sleeved shirt and jeans I used to wear when I ran the business in the alley. The moment I saw the jeans, I burst out laughing, remembering the clones I saw in front of Minjae’s company. What was it he said he wears when he occasionally dresses up? Kodu? Kodyu? It was a name like that.

It’s still chilly at night, so I threw on a cardigan. Does this look appropriately comfortable and presentable? After dabbing perfume on my wrist and spreading it behind my ears, I suddenly stopped, wondering why I was even putting on perfume. On top of that, I was checking myself from head to toe in the mirror attached to the shoe cabinet.

Isn’t this, by all accounts, the attire of someone going on a date?