SURE 19

Ah, how embarrassing. I shivered, my body covered in goosebumps. I grabbed Shin Taeyoon’s car key, my wallet, and my phone, and headed out. The time was a bit ambiguous, so I thought I might run into him in front of the elevator if I was lucky, but the door to the apartment across from mine didn’t open. I wasn’t confident I could be in the elevator alone with him, so this was for the best. As soon as I got on the elevator that arrived at the 15th floor, I quickly pressed the close button.

The night air is cold. The hem of my loosely draped cardigan fluttered in the chilly wind that brushed past me. The atmosphere of the restaurant alley on a Friday night and a Saturday night is quite different. If Fridays are for office workers swarming around as if to drink themselves to death, Saturdays are for people of various age groups wandering the streets. There are especially a lot of couples.

I arrived at the skewer place first, and there was a line to get in. It was a good thing I made a reservation in advance. The part-timer I had seen before was gone, and a different part-timer checked the reservation list and guided me to a corner seat at the bar. There was only one private room, but they said it was booked up long ago, so I had no choice but to reserve a spot at the bar, which turned out to be a stroke of genius. The bar seat, marked with a reservation sign, was in a spot where the counter bent into an ‘L’ shape and met the wall, so the space was narrow. It was a space that would be completely filled if two men sat side-by-side. Behind us was a plate-glass window, so I could see the people waiting.

“Oh? You’re here again. Welcome.”

The owner recognized me, even though it was only my second visit, and greeted me warmly.

“Hello. I’ll order when my companion arrives.”

“Okay! Take your time.”

7:50. Had Shin Taeyoon left his apartment? Calling him would feel like I was rushing him, so I quietly waited, chewing on the puffed corn that came as a basic snack.

…Ah, wait a minute. When did I put on a watch?

Five minutes after that, Shin Taeyoon, who appeared without a sound, pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. A cool scent of shower cologne wafted from him. With the ends of his hair still not fully dry and left to hang down however they pleased, he was dressed in a large gray hoodie and jogger pants that looked like a set, making him look just like a college student.

…He really dressed comfortably. In comparison, my own simple outfit looked like I had put in an effort. At least the smell of perfume would be masked by the food smells that filled the skewer place.

“I was almost late.”

Because the space was narrow, Shin Taeyoon’s shoulder and my shoulder brushed against each other. The proximity was as close as our touching shoulders, so his words sounded like a whisper. He leaned his upper body back, came in close towards me, glanced at the wall, and then went back. Was he trying to see what was there?

“You’re wearing perfume?”

Damn it, that wasn’t it.

“It’s a habit.”

“Creed Aventus?”

He guessed the name of the perfume in one go. It’s a popular perfume, so it’s not strange that he would recognize it, but….

“…Yes.”

“It suits you, Mr. CEO. Ah, I’m hungry. It’s only been 20 minutes since I woke up, so I’m not in my right mind right now. What’s good here?”

As he held up the menu and looked at it, I noticed his face was slightly swollen. If he woke up 20 minutes ago, it meant he rushed out as soon as he washed up. So that’s why his complexion is still pale. Not only that, but maybe it was just my imagination, but he didn’t seem to be in good condition. Is it because I’ve only ever seen him in a perfectly tailored suit? If his condition was bad enough to be this noticeable, one would think he’d postpone or cancel the appointment….

……No. How well do I even know Shin Taeyoon? Let’s not jump to conclusions. It could be that I’m overreacting, so I didn’t ask if he was okay. However, the fact that the restaurant was so noisy did bother me a little. If I had known, I would have looked for another restaurant with a private room.

“Should I just go ahead and order?”

“Yes, excellent idea.”

Shin Taeyoon put down the menu, rested his elbow on the bar, and propped up his chin. His direct gaze was burdensome. I couldn’t even avoid his eyes as they leisurely scanned me from the top of my head, as if admiring me.

“We’ll have the assorted set with an extra green onion and chicken thigh skewer, and please give us two draft beers first.”

“Okay!”

“Beer is okay, right?”

Shin Taeyoon’s lips curled up slightly as he nodded.

“Is it okay if I openly look at you for a moment?”

“…You mean me?”

“Yes. The version of you I’ve met recently is all so refreshing. A few days ago in the parking garage, and this morning too, right? You’re very eye-catching right now, too.”

“In what way, exactly.”

“Well, in a big way, from your relaxed appearance, to how you’re trying to endure it somehow even while making a ‘this is so awkward’ face?”

He’s not wrong, but I wish he’d stop staring. And the awkwardness comes from the fact that we’re sitting side by side as if we’re neighborhood friends after only ever meeting in suits and talking about work. It has no other meaning. I pushed the dish of puffed corn towards him. A gesture to eat this instead. Shin Taeyoon listlessly poked at the puffed corn but didn’t eat any. I placed his car key on the bar.

“I moved your car to another spot.”

“Ah, thank you. No wonder I didn’t get a call to move my car. You’re very thoughtful, with the tteokbokki yesterday and all?”

“It’s not that I’m thoughtful. Anyone would have moved it.”

“They might have moved the car, but they wouldn’t have made you soy sauce tteokbokki.”

“Please, it was no big deal to me, so please don’t attach too much meaning to it.”

“Should I? But I want to attach meaning to it. I told you, it’s the first time I’ve ever finished all the tteokbokki. I don’t normally like rice cakes themselves. Because they’re a lump of carbohydrates. Plus, tteokbokki is high in sugar.”

So. Is he trying to convey his profound impression that I made him clean his plate of a wicked food that combines carbohydrates and sugar? If I made it for him a second time, he’d probably hang a banner on the Shinyoon F&B building. And this is from a man whose company has already signed an agreement with the company run by the person who made him that tteokbokki. Just how good of an impression did one dish of tteokbokki leave that it’s not ending with breakfast and is continuing into the night?

“It’s one of the characteristics of Koreans. We can’t stand to see someone work while skipping a meal. That was the only reason, so please stop making assumptions. And I wanted to ask you something too. Why did you send your employee all the way to our main branch? You could have just had it delivered to your office.”

Just then, the part-timer came and set down two glasses of draft beer in iced mugs. Shin Taeyoon picked up his glass of beer, clinked it lightly against mine with a thud, and set it back down.

“Are you asking because you don’t know, or are you asking to confirm?”

“……”

“Why else would I send him? It was to score points with you, of course.”

I was at a loss for words. I took two gulps of the bubbling beer and set it down, and it was half gone. A burning sensation, as if it had caught fire, spread down my esophagus where the cold beer had traveled. Just as I had done, Shin Taeyoon pushed the dish of puffed corn towards me. The texture of the corn kernels breaking between my teeth was dry.

“Did you send him with the certainty that I would be there?”

“No. Who would calculate that far and send someone like a spy? I just sent him to get some fresh air and clear his head. Instead, I told him to wear his employee ID properly around his neck. I figured that way, even if you weren’t there, the main branch manager would recognize him and say a word or two. But as luck would have it, you were there, right?”

“……”

“Just as you dismissed the soy sauce tteokbokki as no big deal, it’s the same for me. There was no big deal reason for sending him there. But I’m satisfied because it seems like I scored some points.”

Shin Taeyoon is definitely the foxy type. If you keep talking to him, you get drawn in by him even when you’re trying not to. A lavish spread of the assorted set and the additional skewers was placed between us.

Shin Taeyoon drank his draft beer after checking that the foam had subsided. His hair, which had dried in the meantime, softly brushed against his forehead. Under the dark amber lighting, Shin Taeyoon wore a languid expression. His long eyelashes were beautifully curled up as if he had used an eyelash curler, casting a shadow. It’s a bit out of the blue, but his face is really pretty. That’s probably why I stared at him so intently during our first meeting, not even realizing it was rude.

“You must not like beer foam.”

“It’s not so much that I dislike it, it’s just a matter of preference. Go ahead and eat.”

Instead of holding the skewer and biting into it, he used chopsticks to remove all the contents of the skewer onto his small plate and chewed and swallowed each piece slowly. It’s his first meal at this hour, so he must be very hungry, but he doesn’t eat hastily. I watched him and drank my beer. Maybe because I was in front of Shin Taeyoon, I didn’t have much of an appetite.

When Shin Taeyoon had finished three skewers and was drinking the rest of his beer, I placed an additional order. When I requested one glass with no foam, he gathered the empty skewers on a napkin, rolled them up, and gave a light smile.

“See, I told you you’re kind, Mr. CEO. I doubt you’re like this only to me.”

“Let’s just call it a habit.”

“In your past relationships, didn’t the endings always suck?”

“I’m not sure.”

My last relationship was worse than sucky, it was trashy. If Yoon Sungjoon hadn’t made a scene in front of my house, my involvement with Shin Taeyoon might have been a little less messy. We wouldn’t be sitting side by side discussing a topic like this, either.

It was better when he was trying to scout me at the Korean formal-course restaurant. I finished my beer. Shin Taeyoon held a skewer like a cigarette and unconsciously made a motion of flicking ash, then tilted his head.

“When you date someone who’s naturally kind, you tend to get a certain misconception…. You come to believe that this kindness will last indefinitely, just for you. Trusting in that one thing, you treat them poorly, and when it’s time to break up, you’re so steeped in a sense of betrayal that you think you’re the main character in a drama.”

For a criticism, his tone was calm. Is that so? I agree to a certain extent. All my relationships revealed their true colors around the time they ended. There’s no such thing as a pair whose personalities and tastes match one hundred percent. Even in the simple act of two well-matched people sharing an emotional connection, impurities accumulated.

The expiration date of a relationship is foretold when these impurities, instead of being cleared out in time, are left to pile up and overflow. When even the trivial things that didn’t bother you during the good times start to overflow, breaking up becomes the natural course of action.

“You speak as if you’ve been in a relationship like that.”

Shin Taeyoon opened the wad of tissues, put the skewer he was holding inside, and rolled it up again. He tapped the three small seasoning shakers on the bar.

“I have. It was disgustingly not fun.”

“I’m probably a disgustingly not fun person, too.”

At my indirect rejection, Shin Taeyoon, who had been observing the appearance of the seasoning shakers, turned his gaze to me.

“We haven’t even had any fun yet, don’t you think you’re being a little too overconfident?”

“Mr. Shin.”

“Yes.”

It was a topic that was bound to come up at some point, and although I think it’s a little early, I judged that there would be no better time than now. Perhaps I had been preparing for today’s meeting and mulling over him for the past few days for the sake of this topic.

“I have no intention of dating.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m tired of people.”

“Because of that whiner?”

Whiner… a nickname that suits Yoon Sungjoon quite well. A bitter smile hung on my lips.

To be honest, it’s not so much that I don’t like Shin Taeyoon; rather, he’s a bother, like a paper cut, which makes me want to keep my distance even more. Why is that? Is it simply because Shin Taeyoon is a business contact? Or is it because our personalities don’t match? Because he’s not my type?

Realistically, I don’t know how or for what reason you’ve singled me out as a potential romantic partner, but not only am I not the type of person to catch fire instantly, I’m also genuinely fed up with emotionally draining relationships. It’s also true that work is more important than dating. The dismantled skewer on the small plate felt like me.

“I can’t say it’s not that at all… And you may not know this, Mr. Shin, but we consider our collaboration with Shinyoon F&B to be quite important. Depending on the success or failure of the collaboration menu, the scale of our company could change. In a situation like this, would it be right for me, the CEO, to be blinded by a romance?”

Shin Taeyoon, who had checked the beer foam with a glance, took another skewer and stripped the meat off it.

“That’s a really lame excuse, don’t you think?”

Even though I told the truth, my heart sank at Shin Taeyoon’s blunt assessment that it was lame. With just one word from him, it became a flimsy excuse.

“It’s not an excuse, it’s the truth.”

“No, it’s an excuse. What large corporation throws away people and spends hundreds of millions on a project that’s going to fail? Especially at a point where, even being generous, you’re the secondary party on the contract. Do you think it’s common for a large corporation to become the secondary party in a deal with a small to medium-sized enterprise? This can only be interpreted as JW Food looking down on our company. You’re not in a position to do that, are you?”

“……”

“Which way should I take it? Or should I give you another chance?”

Leaving the dismantled skewer as it was, Shin Taeyoon was seeing right through me. Without touching the beer whose foam had settled. My mouth was dry, and I gulped down the remaining beer in one go. ‘Not in a position to do that.’ Those words snapped me to my senses. It was a scathing criticism that forced me to face reality as it was.

Even though I knew it well, my stomach churned. I felt as if everything I had worked for up to this point was being negated. I steadfastly met his gaze and suppressed the self-deprecating laugh that threatened to erupt.

Shin Taeyoon’s methods were still wrong. I had tolerated his scouting offer, but his criticism just now was a verbal assault that he should not have made, at least not in front of me. Even more so if he saw me as a potential romantic partner and not as a subordinate.

The company was me. It was the culmination of my youth and my short life, all melted into one. Even when I hurt my hands and got burned countless times while running the business, I endured, promising myself a future like today.