TGMND 140

As the traffic seemed unusually heavy, they decided to just walk home. It was about a 30-minute walk from the hospital to their house. Yeo-woon and Ji-gu held hands and walked in silence for a while. Ji-gu supported the cake box with his arm in a cast and followed Yeo-woon with his head bowed low.

Feeling threatened by the cars speeding along the wide main road, Yeo-woon led Ji-gu to the inside of the sidewalk. Christmas carols drifted from a distant store. Everyone in the world seemed to be smiling and rushing towards their loved ones. Everyone looked happy.

‘If I had lost you on a day like this, I would have been depressed from a month before Christmas for the rest of my life.’

Thank goodness. Yeo-woon’s heart still ached as if it was being squeezed tight. So Yeo-woon gripped Ji-gu’s hand even tighter. He was so grateful to the heavens just for Ji-gu being alive. The warmth of the hand in his was so precious.

“…Ji-gu.”

“Hyung.”

After being silent for a long time, they called out to each other simultaneously. They stopped walking and turned to look at each other’s faces. Ji-gu slowly blinked his wet eyes with his reddened nose buried in the scarf. The tears that had gathered on his eyelashes dropped again and seeped into the scarf.

Yeo-woon never dreamed that a man crying silently while walking down the street two days before Christmas could look so lovable. Ji-gu looked down, avoiding Yeo-woon’s wavering gaze.

“You go first, hyung.”

“No, you go first.”

“…Then should we say it at the same time?”

Yeo-woon nodded at his words. Ji-gu’s expression was excessively solemn, as if he was about to say something important. Facing his lover whose thoughts he couldn’t read, Yeo-woon spoke.

“I lost our couple ring.”

“Actually, I know you’re tired of me.”

“Huh?”

“…What?”

They both frowned in surprise at each other’s words.

“Tired?”

“What did you lose?”

Ji-gu looked down at Yeo-woon’s hand.

“What are you talking about? Why would I be tired of you?”

“…It really is gone.”

“Is that why you’re crying? Did I do something to make you misunderstand again?”

“Should I lend you my ring until you find yours?”

“I really don’t understand why you thought that.”

They both rambled on about their own concerns before finally meeting each other’s eyes. Even with his face a mess from tears, Ji-gu was at a loss for how to express his love for Yeo-woon standing before him. The feeling was mutual for Yeo-woon.

“Yoon Ji-gu.”

“…”

“I’ve never gotten tired of you. Really.”

Yeo-woon’s gentle voice was plain and unadorned, but also honest. At the sincerely approaching tone, the corners of Ji-gu’s eyes drooped. Unable to say anything, Ji-gu bit his lip hard, and then asked with thick tears hanging from his eyes.

“Who was that person whose hand you were holding in the emergency room earlier?”

“A stranger.”

“Why were you holding a stranger’s hand?”

“…I’m sorry. They said there was only one person who came in from a traffic accident, so I thought it was you. That’s why I held that man’s hand.”

“There’s more. …Actually, I… I saw the text message on your phone.”

“What message?”

Ji-gu hesitated for a moment before mumbling in a voice full of tears.

“Someone texted you, saying you should tell your lover. That if you didn’t, they’d get mad….”

“Tell my lover…?”

“And that night you fell asleep at my house, I secretly went through your pockets while undressing you. There was a note with someone else’s phone number. I tore it up and threw it away. I’m really, really sorry about that, but you shouldn’t do this to me either. Why are you getting other people’s numbers while dating me?”

“Ah.”

“There were also strange marks on your body. Who did that?”

Yeo-woon finally realized what Ji-gu was misunderstanding. He’s written another story in his head. If Ji-gu had approached Yeo-woon with his usual annoyed face and tried to talk by saying “What’s this?” this misunderstanding could have been cleared up in less than a minute.

“Still, can’t we…”

“…”

“Not break up?”

His voice was full of sorrow, as though he were on the verge of falling apart. With each blink of his eyes, the tears that had been shimmering with light fell in large drops. What had been lacking between Yoon Ji-gu and himself was communication. The absence of honest dialogue had blown things out of proportion.

However, he couldn’t blame only Ji-gu for this. If that were the case, he himself wasn’t entirely blameless either. For the sole reason that Ji-gu might get angry, he had hidden the fact that he lost the couple ring and subtly hid his hand in front of Ji-gu. As a result, he had indeed been somewhat avoiding him.

To stop Ji-gu’s tears, clearing up the misunderstanding was the first priority.

“Wasn’t there any mention of a date or the couple ring in the message?”

“…”

He seemed not to remember. With the phone battery dead, he couldn’t show it right away, but this was a misunderstanding that could be resolved through sufficient conversation even now.

“It’s a noona I know. It’s the place where I got our couple rings, and we’ve known each other since we were young, so the way of speaking… I can see why you might have misunderstood.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah, really. As for the note… I’m not sure. I think I might have just jotted down a callback number while working?”

At those words, Ji-gu shook his head slightly. Judging by his expression, he didn’t seem to believe it at all. It seemed my words felt like mere excuses to him.

“That’s not it.”

“Why?”

“I’ve become too familiar to you. So I’ve become a bother, right?”

“…Ji-gu.”

“You don’t need to make excuses. You’re tired of me, aren’t you…?”

“Yoon Ji-gu.”

“If that’s not it, then why have you been avoiding me all this time? I’m not oblivious. I’m quick to notice things. …I know when someone dislikes me. I’m used to that sort of thing.”

“Dislike you? Me?”

Ji-gu’s brow furrowed, hurt by his own words. He tried to suppress his tears that were about to burst out while choking up. Yeo-woon wanted to cover his mouth and threaten him to listen to his story first, but now wasn’t the time for that. It might even backfire.

“I’ll do better. I… So, can’t you not see other people?”

Yeo-woon took a deep breath to calm himself, and spoke to Ji-gu, who was still tightly gripping his hand while wiping his tears on his shoulder.

“Yoon Ji-gu.”

“If you’re going to lie, don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Listen anyway!”

“…”

“Who rushes to the emergency room in the middle of the night, paying double for a taxi, when they hear someone they dislike is hurt?”

“…You came because of me?”

“Your brother answered the phone and told me the hospital name.”

“Yoon Ji-hyeok?”

“…I came to get you.”

“…”

“I thought you were dead. That crazy bastard had the sheet covering even his head…”

Yeo-woon gritted his teeth. He didn’t know if that guy had received treatment by now, but he felt ashamed for having held such a person’s hand tightly. Ji-gu was a hundred, no, a thousand times more handsome and kind.

“So when you called out from behind earlier, I was so grateful.”

“Why?”

“Because you were safe.”

“…”

“Really, I’m so relieved…”

For a moment, a strange emotion flashed across Ji-gu’s face. His wavering gaze and reddened eyes. His black eyelashes clumped together in several strands, wet with tears. Every single part was beautiful without exception. As sincerely as he had expressed his hurt feelings, Yeo-woon conveyed his emotions without a single lie. The helplessness and despair Yeo-woon had felt when he thought Ji-gu might have died were unlike anything he had ever experienced.

Although he couldn’t say it out loud, he had even had the wicked and selfish thought that if there was a God, he wished the God would take the life of some other innocent person instead of reviving Ji-gu. Ji-gu’s gaze wavered as he watched Yeo-woon recalling the recent memory. His well-shaped lips parted slightly, and his hand brushed Yeo-woon’s cheek.

“Don’t cry.”

Despite having been crying himself all this time, his trembling hand awkwardly wiped Yeo-woon’s cheek. He stroked Yeo-woon’s eyes with his hand and then sniffled with his reddened nose as if he was more affected.

“Don’t, don’t cry.”

“Me?”

Yeo-woon only then noticed that tears had welled up in his own eyes as well.

“Then hyung… We’re not breaking up?”

“…Yeah.”

“You’re really not tired of me, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Really. You better not be lying.”

“Yeah.”

“…Do you love me?”

“Yeah…”

“Hic… Me too…”

Yeo-woon bit his lower lip, following Ji-gu. His heart fluttered. They say you become like the one you love, it seems even tears are contagious. How foolish…

***

“The cake is all squashed.”

It was supposed to be in the shape of Rudolph. Yeo-woon muttered in a gloomy tone.

Originally, the cake had been a cleanly frosted reindeer-shaped sheet, with white whipped cream spread evenly over it and delicate chocolate antlers placed elegantly on top. But now, one chocolate antler was buried deep in the cake, and the other had broken into two, lying haphazardly. And the strawberry, which was supposed to represent snow with a light dusting of powdered sugar, was supposed to be on top of the deer’s head looking like a Santa hat. Not all smeared with cream like this.

Perhaps because Yeo-woon had run around frantically in the chaos, and Ji-gu had stolen it and run away, the cake was in a terrible state. It was all crushed and mixed up in the box, with the deer’s eyes boldly stuck to the back of its head. Ji-gu licked the cream off his hand and grumbled.

“You don’t even eat this anyway. You don’t even like cream!”

That’s true. Thinking that he might have had to force himself to eat all of a cake he didn’t even like made tears well up in his eyes.

“But you like it. You eat it all…”

“Hmph, I guess you think I’m a pig.”

“…”

“Ah, why do you look like you’re about to cry again? Seriously, why did you even buy this when you don’t like cake? So annoying…”

Ji-gu’s own voice started to become teary towards the end. Ji-gu, whose eyes were red from crying all day whenever he had the chance, acted as if he hadn’t been doing the same. He stuck the candle that had been attached to the cake box into the mashed-up cake. When he struck the matches that came with it, there was a pop and the flame lit up. He put flame to the candle and then turned to look at Yeo-woon.

“But what are we supposed to do while blowing out candles on Christmas?”

“Huh? I don’t know either.”

“What, really?”

“…Should we make a wish?”

“A wish?”

Yoon Ji-gu asked Yeo-woon a question with an intrigued look. Yeo-woon nodded silently in response. Ji-gu then closed his eyes for about 3 seconds before opening them again.

“What did you wish for?”

“Hyung…”

“Huh?”

Ji-gu hesitated, his lips moving as if to say something, before shaking his head with a small gesture. 

“Never mind. I won’t tell. They say wishes don’t come true if you say them out loud.”

“Alright then.”

“What about you?”

“I’m not telling either.”

“Wow, how petty.”

It seemed Ji-gu wanted to know Yeo-woon’s wish even though he wouldn’t share his own. Yeo-woon smiled. It was strange how Ji-gu’s expressions, which revealed his emotions so plainly, appeared cute. Yoon Ji-gu lifted up the cat that kept headbutting his feet with one hand, forcefully bringing its front paws together. He mimicked making a wish using the cat’s front paws, then met Yeo-woon’s gaze. Together, they blew out the candles whose ends had melted and dripped. The cat, which had been struggling to escape from Yoon Ji-gu’s arms, was finally freed.

“Is your arm broken?”

“I think so.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No, it doesn’t hurt at all.”

“That’s good. When will they remove the cast?”

“…I can’t remember. I’m planning to call and ask tomorrow.”

Yeo-woon fiddled with his arm that had become rigid with the cast while using a silver fork to scoop appropriately-sized pieces of the damaged cake into Yoon Ji-gu’s mouth. Ji-gu ate diligently without any resistance, accepting each bite he was fed. While Yeo-woon hadn’t fed even his own younger sibling like this since they were very young, it was fascinating to see Yoon Ji-gu opening his mouth obediently like a baby bird. Yeo-woon scooped up a large amount of whipped cream and deliberately smeared it around Yoon Ji-gu’s mouth, pretending it was an accident. He looked down at Yeo-woon with sullen eyes.

“What are you…!”

Seizing the moment, Yeo-woon leaned in close and l1cked Yoon Ji-gu’s lips. Like a cat would do, he lightly l1cked his lips, causing Yoon Ji-gu to hold his breath.

“You didn’t even offer me a taste, so I wondered how delicious it was.”

“…Am I delicious?”

“Yes, sweet.”

When Yeo-woon planted a loud kiss on his lips, Yoon Ji-gu’s startled wide eyes soon softened like spring ice melting. With closed eyes, Yeo-woon pulled Yoon Ji-gu’s neck closer. It was a sugar-sweet kiss.

Finding his desperate attitude endearing, Yeo-woon parted his lips, and Yoon Ji-gu followed what he had learned, tilting his head and gently svcking on his lips. Their saliva mingled, dripped, and delved deeper. The kiss that started softly had somehow become an act of exploring each other. They entwined their t0ngues and svcked on each other’s lips as if competing.

As the kiss deepened, Yeo-woon suddenly realized he was half-lying slanted on the dining table. When he subtly checked with his knee, he found Yoon Ji-gu was thoroughly aroused.

‘Should we do it here?’

A moment’s hesitation crossed his mind. They had rarely done it anywhere besides the bed. Even then, it was only experiences like getting heated while showering in the bathroom or being unable to wait and stimulating each other at the front door.

“Ungh, haa…”

“…”

After a brief consideration, Yeo-woon dismissed all thoughts at Yoon Ji-gu’s m0aning. Who cares if Yoon Ji-gu was cute? It didn’t matter if their one-year-old cat was watching or if this was the kitchen. Besides, Yoon Bbosong was already neutered when his owner brought him home. It wasn’t like they were putting on a s3x show in front of hundreds of people.

Even after their long kiss ended, Yoon Ji-gu kept kissing various parts of Yeo-woon’s face while breathing heavily. He seemed feverish and unsure what to do. As Yeo-woon played with his reddened earlobes, he unbuckled Yoon Ji-gu’s pants, causing him to gasp sharply. Despite having done this many times before, he always acted like it was his first time in these situations.

However, he soon slipped his hands inside Yeo-woon’s clothes and half-removed his bottoms. When Yeo-woon shuddered as his exposed skin touched the cold glass, Yoon Ji-gu’s hands soothingly massaged his perineum. Yeo-woon grabbed the hair of the dazed Yoon Ji-gu and entwined their t0ngues. The sounds their movements created were so clear it was stimulating.

“Ungh…”

Yoon Ji-gu’s hand pressed hard around the muscles, trying to relieve the tension. One finger suddenly thrust inside. Due to the time that had passed since their last intimate moment, Yeo-woon’s insides were tightly closed, making it difficult to accommodate even a single finger. Yeo-woon looked around, thinking he needed something that could act as a lubricant. However, there was no way there was anything like that in the kitchen.

At that moment, Yoon Ji-gu grabbed his waist with one hand and swiftly reversed their positions.

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“Just wait.”

He made Yeo-woon lie face down on the table, and scooped up the cake cream he had been eating and smeared it downward… Wh-what is this? Yeo-woon was momentarily speechless at this perverted act that couldn’t even be imagined by a normal person. Yoon Ji-gu, who had been relying on the slippery whipped cream to add more fingers, started thrusting his fingers before suddenly collapsing onto the floor. Leaning against the table, Yeo-woon couldn’t even begin to fathom what he was doing, dumbly looking down below.

“Ah, hey!”

Even though he screamed in resentment, it was already too late. Trying to do everything with just one hand seemed to require all his strength; Yoon Ji-gu slightly furrowed his brow as he pushed his face between Yeo-woon’s buttocks.

Yoon Ji-gu’s grabbed the buttocks that fit in one hand and spread them apart, and put his t0ngue into the h0le that was between them and svcked it. The wet, hot t0ngue dug into the narrow gap. Yoon Ji-gu smiled secretly without Yeo-woon knowing. It was all sweet and hot. Every time his t0ngue moved as if tracing a shape, he liked the way Yeo-woon’s thighs trembled and gasped.

Despite usually not cursing, Yeo-woon muttered “Ah, sh1t…” while gripping the table’s edge tightly. Yoon Ji-gu pulled his mouth away from the moist h0le and inserted a finger instead. As the finger delved between his damp folds, it elicited lewd sounds with every thrust.

“It’s because we haven’t done this in a while.”

“I know, but you really seem like a pervert.”

“The guy who’s dating that pervert is even more perverted. You like hitting me, after all.”

“…Hey, that’s…”

Ji-gu wanted to thrust into him right then and there, but it was still too narrow to accept him. Yoon Ji-gu scooped up a large amount of cream with his hand and spread it inside and outside of the h0le. Then he stuck his t0ngue out and l1cked it all up. He put his finger in the h0le and slightly spread it open, and put his t0ngue in the gap that was created. The wet and hot feeling, as well as the slurping sound from below, made Yeo-woon’s head spin. It felt strange to have his most secret place exposed so openly and have it l1cked all the way inside.