TIN 147

His tone was as monotonous as if he were throwing away a useless object. So much so that for a moment, I couldn’t comprehend what he meant by ‘get rid of.’ Unlike his smiling face, he looked down at me without a shred of emotion.

“It’s a relief. It can still be done with just one pill.”

“……”

“If it gets any bigger, you’ll need surgery.”

Just a moment ago, he was pretending to worry that our child might be in danger. But there was no hint of sympathy or sadness in his voice as he said that. The same was true of the one word he added as if it were natural, with a chillingly cold face.

“You have to get rid of what you’ve been carrying around like a wart.”

I said that I didn’t know whose child it was, and that answer implied that it might be Joo Do-hwa’s child. He couldn’t not know that possibility, but he told me to get rid of the child without a moment’s hesitation. Was he sure it wasn’t his child, or did he not care even if it was his child?

“It’s for the best. Since you’re at risk of a miscarriage anyway.”

“Ah…”

My lower abdomen ached dully. It felt like someone was stabbing me with a needle. My fingertips, which had been cold since a while ago, were of no help even when placed on my stomach.

“…Ugh.”

“Hyung.”

Seeing me finally collapse and lower my upper body, Joo Do-hwa softened his voice. He bent down to match my eye level and whispered softly as if soothing a child.

“Just say the word.”

“……”

“Why are you making things difficult?”

The words that were handed over kindly gnawed at my nerves. The pheromones, which were as sweet as if my tongue would melt, were nothing short of openly seducing me. With eyes that were persistent as if observing, he casually suggested.

“Say it’s my child. Huh?”

Should I call this generous, or should I call it cruel? As if he would spare me if I just answered, even if it wasn’t his child. Joo Do-hwa, who said that, seemed to be giving me a chance.

‘We’re both extremely dominant… what are the chances of having a child?’

“……”

I swallowed a dry breath. He was making terrible noises about doing it until we had one. It seemed that what he wanted wasn’t a child, but my acknowledgment. That I would stay by his side because I had his child, that he wanted me to acknowledge that I belonged to him.

“…Do-hwa.”

At the small whisper, he blinked his eyes. I met his bright yellow eyes and curled up the corners of my lips. And I said clearly.

“This isn’t your child.”

“……”

The pheromones that had been flowing in the air stopped abruptly. In the heavy silence as if time had stopped, this was all I could say.

“Just get rid of it.”

＊ ＊ ＊

I had never once thought about having a child in my life. It wasn’t because I didn’t know I would develop as an Omega, but simply because I didn’t have the capacity to think that far. I had been spending my days just surviving, let alone living, so there was no way I could have such leisurely fantasies.

But I was pregnant. On my first heat cycle, on the day I first manifested as an Omega. A one-night stand with the only ultra-dominant alpha in the world created an unwanted life.

To be honest, I didn’t feel much of anything. Knowing there was a child in my stomach didn’t bring about any great change of heart. Nothing seemed different on the outside, and I didn’t feel anything in particular.

Only the occasional pain in my stomach was the sole sign that something was growing. The churning, queasy feeling was manageable as long as I didn’t put food in my mouth. Even that improved after filling my stomach at Seo-kyung’s house.

‘I can always get rid of it.’

Yeah, so do whatever you want. Whether you get rid of it or make another one, it doesn’t matter to me. The child in your stomach won’t change our relationship.

“…….”

Even after Joo Do-hwa left the room, I sat on the bed for a long time, staring blankly into space. My left hand was wrapped in bandages, and my right foot was in a plaster cast. I lay sprawled on the bed, doing nothing.

‘It’s a relief. They say it can still be taken care of with just one pill.’

The conversation I had with him kept replaying in my head, over and over. The moment he urged me to say just one word, to say it was his child, was vivid. And his reaction to my answer, that it wasn’t his child, so I should get rid of it.

‘You’ll regret it. I know your personality.’

I should have laughed at him. What do you know? You don’t even know I’m the Hyung you were looking for, or that this is your child, so what are you talking about? The reason I couldn’t was because of one word he whispered as if brainwashing me.

‘Hyung can’t die.’

I thought it was just the same old bullshit. That because there were so many eyes watching, I could be saved, so he was threatening me that I couldn’t die. That he would either tie me down or monitor me, so I wouldn’t even have a choice.

‘Try to hold on.’

But it was only after Joo Do-hwa left the room that I realized the true meaning of those words. The moment Joo Do-hwa, who didn’t put the handcuffs back on or assign a guard, turned his back and closed the door.

‘…’

I couldn’t die. In the room with only a bed, I couldn’t do anything with my hand on my stomach. I couldn’t bite my tongue, cut my wrists, bury my face in the pillow and hold my breath.

I felt so helpless that I couldn’t even express it. It wasn’t that I had lost the courage to approach death, but it was as if there was an obstacle on the path I was heading towards. The present felt much more complicated than the past, when I thought everything would end if I just disappeared.

It wasn’t just guilt. I had no intention of revering a tiny trace, not even visible on an ultrasound, as a life. I thought it would be okay to end the future that had fallen like a bolt of lightning just as quickly.

I was just curious. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, as soon as I realized what I was experiencing was morning sickness, someone who had walked the same path as me came to mind.

‘I only found out later. Ji-soo was also pregnant.’

Did that person want to have me?

Was my existence really a planned future for you?

If not, what was the reason for bringing me into the world and raising me?

New questions were added to the things I wanted to ask him. Why did you decide to give birth to me? Was I a blessing or a curse? Are the conclusions I’m drawing now really right?

‘Live.’

“…Live.”

I can’t say that.

“…”

I staggered to my feet and got out of bed. I thought I could walk somehow, like when I sprained my ankle, but my completely broken leg had no strength at all. Even with the hard cast on, I fell straight down as soon as I took a step.

“Ugh…”

Thud, I fell to the floor and clutched my throbbing leg, taking deep breaths for a long time. Just giving it that little bit of strength sent a terrible pain that made me break out in a cold sweat. It was impossible to bear this pain and walk without taking some kind of drug.

So instead of getting up, I crawled to the window. It would be nice to have crutches, but there was no way Joo Do-hwa, who was talking about wing cuts, would have prepared something like that.

The window wouldn’t open. Leaning against the wall on one foot, I looked at the window, which had been carefully sealed as if soldered, and couldn’t help but laugh. It was obvious without looking who had done this. Thorough, unnecessarily thorough.

“…….”

Nothing could be seen outside the window in the darkness. Not because the sun had set, but because it was actually an empty lot. The landscape of overgrown bushes instead of a well-landscaped garden told me that this was not the main house.

“This is…”

I slowly looked back and forth between the outside scenery and the inside of the room. The familiar ceiling, the familiar lighting, and the overall sense of déjà vu told me where this was.

‘There’s also my villa there.’

It was a villa. The place where I stayed when I was young, the place the child who took me out of the box brought me to play. The place where the child and I spent most of our time, the very place that existed only in my memory.

“…The ocean isn’t here.”

I could tell that it wasn’t the room I used just by looking out the window where the ocean wasn’t visible. Probably the opposite room, the dark outside only showed trees and grass.

‘Blame me.’

‘You can never go back anyway.’

He deliberately put me in this room. To prevent me, who had run away to the ocean, from even seeing it

You bastard. I didn’t bother to say such curses out loud. I was too lazy to even say it. So I just stood there with my forehead against the window when I heard the door open behind me with a click.

“I should have broken both of your legs.”

Someone who came inside said softly. When I turned around, I saw Joo Do-hwa with a tray holding a bowl and a glass of water in one hand. He glanced at me and put the tray on the bedside table next to the bed.

“You managed to crawl over there again.”

“…….”

I paused and looked around the ceiling. I was going to check if there were any CCTVs, but there was nothing visible. I carefully examined the spaces between the lights, but there seemed to be no place to install even a lens, let alone a camera light.

“Eat. You must be hungry.”

Even though he knew what I was doing, he calmly offered me food. He even added words of concern, saying that he had given me a nutritional supplement, but it would be better to eat a meal, so disgustingly worried.

“And this.”

Then he rummaged through his pocket and took out a small pill bottle. I couldn’t see the name because it was too far away, but Joo Do-hwa kindly told me what it was.

“The pill I mentioned earlier.”

“…….”

I pursed my lips tightly. The pill I mentioned earlier. It was obvious what it was.

‘It’s a relief. They say it can still be taken care of with just one pill.’

“It’s made by our pharmaceutical company. There are almost no side effects, and at most, a little stomachache.”

It was a pill to get rid of the child. I thought I would take it someday, but I didn’t expect it to come so soon.

I thought he would shove it directly into my mouth, but Joo Do-hwa put the pill bottle he had brought on the bedside table. Then he looks at me standing by the window with an extremely generous face. As if the choice was up to me.

“Take it when you’re comfortable.”