TIN 151

A chill ran down my spine. I don’t know why I suddenly had a chilling premonition from that trivial reaction. My fingertips tingled and shrank as if electrified.

He looked at me for quite a while without saying anything. Even as he seemed to be lost in thought, his eyes never wavered. After blinking once, twice, a faint chuckle escaped his lips.

“Haa…”

The sunlight seeping in from behind cast a long shadow from his waist. My silhouette standing in front of the window was reflected as it was on the shaded hallway floor. Joo Do-hwa, looking back and forth between me, the window, and the shadow, opened his mouth.

“Why.”

“…”

“Trying to fall and die again?”

It was such a plain tone that the discomfort I had just felt seemed like a mistake. He seemed so indifferent that it felt like he would tell me to go ahead if I said yes. Just like when he asked me if I was going to jump when I was sitting on the windowsill not long after he bought me.

There was no need to answer. I silently clenched the windowsill and turned my head. It was to take in the sea one more time, but Joo Do-hwa, who had approached in the meantime, grabbed my arm.

“Let’s go to the room.”

I couldn’t shake off his hand. Because he lifted me up in the blink of an eye. The receding sea was calm and peaceful, as if it had never rained.

＊ ＊ ＊

I thought he would bring the abortion pills right away, but for some reason, Joo Do-hwa didn’t mention anything related to that. He just laid me down on the bed and told me to eat well, pushing food and water at me.

I wasn’t hungry, but I ate a few spoonfuls of rice porridge. I felt nauseous when the servant brought it, but it was bearable because Joo Do-hwa was by my side. The churning in my stomach, which felt like I was going to throw up, was much better by smelling his pheromones.

This really is Joo Do-hwa’s child.

It was amazing that such a tiny seed, not even visible to the naked eye, recognized its origin. I felt repulsion towards Kei’s pheromones, but I felt stability towards Joo Do-hwa’s pheromones. I realized once again how tenacious blood ties are. It was even cruel in a way that I was reacting to him regardless of my will.

‘Don’t starve. You have to think about your body.’

Perhaps Joo Do-hwa, who said that, also noticed. That this was his child and that I was lying. So, he deliberately poured out his pheromones and stroked my hair.

The next day, there were crutches in the room. I, who had fallen asleep in Joo Do-hwa’s pheromones, blinked blankly at the two crutches neatly placed next to the bed. It was probably brought by the servant, but it was obvious who had ordered it.

“…Crazy bastard.”

What kind of whim is it to bring crutches after breaking them with his own hands? He brought me to the room, saying I was wandering around, but does that mean I can wander around as much as I want today?

I forced myself to shake off the sleepiness from my head and got up to get the crutches. Whatever his intention was, I was in no position to be picky. There was a limit to crawling on the floor, so I had no choice but to use the things he brought.

I was going to see the Bada. The beautiful scenery that couldn’t be seen from this room’s window, only from the end of the hallway. I wouldn’t be able to drown myself anymore, but I could at least immerse myself in it for a while.

The crutches weren’t as comfortable as I thought. The first step seemed okay, but from the second step, my armpits and arms hurt. Still, it was better than moving while holding onto the wall, so I headed towards the door, one step at a time.

And when I grabbed the doorknob.

“…….”

Click. The doorknob, which had been turning smoothly, got caught on something. I felt the blood drain from my face and widened my eyes. The door, which had been open until yesterday, was now firmly locked and wouldn’t open.

＊ ＊ ＊

Thinking about it, it was strange that the door had been open in the first place. The guy who had even put handcuffs on me when I first opened my eyes wouldn’t just let me roam freely around the villa. Having welded the windows shut, it was only natural to lock me in the room.

Even knowing that, I couldn’t bear the betrayal that surged through me. It hadn’t been long since I had given up on life and resigned myself to my fate, but just locking one door made me feel like I had lost everything. The only way to breathe was to see the sea, but I couldn’t believe that the path had been blocked overnight.

If this was going to happen, why did he bring me the crutches?

There’s a limit to how much you can play with someone. Unless he intended to mock me, he couldn’t be doing such a psychopathic thing. He was the one who even brought fake medicine to make me get rid of the baby, so it was only natural that I had such suspicions.

Of course, what made me angriest was that I threw the crutches away in a fit of pique, only to pick them up again.

“Are you asleep?”

Around sunset, Joo Do-hwa came to the room. Overwhelmed by the encroaching helplessness, I was lying blankly on the bed. Even though I heard him coming in, I didn’t acknowledge him. I just closed my eyes as if I were asleep.

“You’re pretending to be asleep.”

Joo Do-hwa saw through such a pathetic act at a glance. But he didn’t point it out, and instead sat on the bed, laughing as if it were amusing.

“Have you tried using the crutches?”

“…….”

“I don’t know if they’re any good. I haven’t used them myself.”

The pheromones flowed out and soaked my entire body. The Alpha’s scent, deliberately softened, caressed me like a touch. Even as curses welled up in my throat, I was extremely annoyed that my stomach felt comfortable.

“Use them inside the room. Don’t crawl around unnecessarily, it’ll hurt your knees.”

As if it were a very generous act, he spouted annoying nonsense. The voice, heard from a close distance, felt like it was scratching the inside of me. Even the words that followed.

“There’s a window over there too.”

I almost burst out laughing. There’s no sea there. As soon as I had that thought, I slowly lifted my eyelids. Joo Do-hwa, who had been gazing down at me, stared into my eyes.

“…….”

“…….”

A moment of silence hung in the air. My face was reflected in his unusually bright eyes.

After a long while, Joo Do-hwa slowly reached out his hand towards my face.

“…!”

The fingertips, moving slowly, touched my eyelids. It was a light touch, like a feather brushing against me, but I reflexively shrugged my shoulders and squeezed my eyes shut. For a moment, I felt a sense of crisis that he might pluck out my eyeballs.

“…Ah.”

Joo Do-hwa sighed briefly at my reaction. I lowered my head and slyly opened one eye to look at him. Fortunately, the hand that had stopped in mid-air was soon withdrawn.

He still fixed his gaze on me and abruptly announced.

“I’m going back to the main house.”

“…What?”

The unexpected words struck my ears like a bolt of lightning. I couldn’t understand what I had just heard and stared blankly at him. Then, even more cruel words came out of his mouth.

“Hyung is coming too.”

“Why…”

Why me. How did I even get here? I have to leave the sea that I barely arrived at again.

“Why, you ask.”

Joo Do-hwa retorted briefly and smiled. Unlike his lips, which drew a gentle curve, his eyes didn’t smile at all. His lowered eyelashes cast a long shadow on his eyes.

“I found you, so I have to take you.”

It was as if it were obvious. As if he were taking his own belongings. Soon, he laughed as if the air was escaping, and warned me softly.

“Not a second time.”

There was no hint of a smile in his bright yellow eyes. I couldn’t say anything, and Joo Do-hwa got up from the bed and left the room. The sound of the door being locked shut echoed vividly beyond the closed door.

＊ ＊ ＊

Four days after that. I couldn’t take a single step out of the room. The employee brought food on time, but I could only eat less than half of it.

It was the same even when Joo Do-hwa was there. I barely managed to calm my stomach with his pheromones, but as soon as I made eye contact with him, my stomach churned again.

I didn’t get an ultrasound. I didn’t even think about asking when the gestational sac would be visible. Since the day I took the medicine he brought, he hadn’t mentioned anything about the baby to me either.

Meaningless days repeated themselves, and my throat gradually burned with an inexplicable thirst. I wandered around the room with an uneasy feeling, but only a desolate field of grass spread out outside the window.

That’s how September came. On the day the calendar turned and the season changed.

Joo Do-hwa took me inland.

＊ ＊ ＊

I took the train when I went to the sea, but I ended up riding in Joo Do-hwa’s car when I returned. The sedan, completely separated from the front seats, was similar to the one I used to ride when I went to parties with him. The back seat was by no means cramped, but it felt suffocating, as if I couldn’t move an inch.

The road to the sea was so arduous, but the return inland was instantaneous. Even though it took longer than the train, I watched the scenery pass by quickly and soon it was a garden. High iron bars, and a huge mansion like a prison. I had returned to this place that I never wanted to come back to.

It was just like when I left the villa with the baby. Just like when I was trapped in the unfamiliar inland, where there was no sea anywhere.

‘Don’t you want to go back?’

As I was held in Joo Do-hwa’s arms and entered, the baby’s words kept circling in my head. The words that he actually didn’t want to go back to the main house either, that the house was too boring, but that it would be fun if he was with Hyung.

‘Do you want to go back?’

“…”

I blankly looked around. From the moment I got in the car until now, everything felt like a distant dream. I didn’t even feel like I was being held in his arms.

‘Do you want to see the sea?’

“…Ha.”

The words that had risen to my throat scattered faintly. I wanted to see the sea, I wanted to go to the sea, but I couldn’t give the answer that I couldn’t give even back then this time either. Because the current Joo Do-hwa would never show the same reaction as the baby.

‘Okay. I’ll show you.’

I breathed out thinly. As the stairs got closer, a heavy feeling settled on my chest with a stuffy feeling. Still, there’s a painting here. If I endure while looking at that at least…

“…….”

My mind turned completely white. I thought I heard tinnitus in my dazed ears.

The stairs leading to the second floor. The large wall located in the middle of the hallway.

The painting was gone.