TTRIA 1

To Jeff Lowell, ‘smell’ was a sense that was nothing but bothersome, despite being invisible to the eye. That which allowed one to know what something was without seeing it awakened a hunger he had painstakingly ignored, reminded him of the presence of mold on a cheap muffin, and made him realize the fatigue accumulated in his body through the tip of his nose.

There was a time he had wished for his sense of smell to disappear. If he could not smell, his daily life would have been much more comfortable and simple. He would have been able to ignore his starving stomach’s circumstances until the very end, he would have been able to pretend not to know about food going bad, and his concentration would not have been shaken by the smell of sweat soaked into his clothes.

Like this, ‘smell’ was a disrupter of daily life that would pop out in a novel form from within the familiar.

It was the same now. The young man who sat in the seat next to him, which had been empty all along, smelled of sweet pancakes. Thanks to that, the hunger he had been ignoring all afternoon revealed its presence. As he felt the movement of his contracting stomach, his energy dropped drastically.

Just how much did he stuff himself with for the smell to vibrate all over his body.

Jeff, who was looking at the young man with pure curiosity and a bit of annoyance, smiled brightly as their eyes met. He could see the other’s pale earlobe turn red. He had once heard people whispering that he was gay. He might be a naturally shy type, but perhaps the rumor was true. Jeff, who had received a fair amount of attention from the same sex throughout his life, turned his head away, thinking it was no big deal.

At that moment, a low laugh drifted from the opposite seat, which had been empty just like the one next to him. He could tell a man had appeared without needing to confirm it with his eyes. The scent that permeated the tip of his nose had already announced his presence. Jeff scoffed inwardly, propped his chin on his hand, and stared at the person across from him.

“Jeff, you really are quite a sinner.”

The young man, who had casually brushed back his brilliant blond hair, whispered slyly. A charming young man’s smile is bound to attract attention. Glances from both sides gathered on him. As if enjoying it, the young man smiled even more gently.

“Why don’t you go have a cup of tea, Hugo.”

Jeff said lightly. The young man across from him, Hugo, twinkled his green eyes.

“What’s with the sudden invitation for teatime?”

“It wasn’t an invitation to have it together, I’m recommending you have it leisurely by yourself. I was thinking it might wash off some of the greasy film on your tongue.”

“Greasy film?”

“It means your way of speaking makes my stomach churn.”

You think so too, right? Jeff looked at the person next to him as if seeking agreement. The startled young man could only stutter, unable to do anything. Hugo himself, however, opened his mouth with a smooth face completely unaffected.

“I think it’s because your stomach is empty. See, I told you to take care of your meals.”

Then, with a thud, he closed Jeff’s book, took it, and stood up.

“Give me my book back. I haven’t finished it yet.”

“You can just check it out. Let’s go, Jeff. While I’m washing the greasy film off my tongue, you should get something to eat.”

It was a shame that his reading was interrupted, but his hungry stomach was twisting to the point of pain. Jeff packed his bag and got up. While Hugo, who had grinned, hummed and checked out the book, a voice called out from behind, Lowell.

Jeff turned around. The fair-skinned young man from the next seat approached hesitantly. Although his face was familiar, Jeff did not know his name, so he offered a smile in place of a greeting.

“Yes.”

“This….”

The young man handed him something. It was a small, palm-sized box. When Jeff just stared at it, the young man muttered in a somewhat urgent voice.

“It’s nothing much. It’s just, …it seemed like you like books.”

“What is this?”

“It’s a paperweight. I collect them as a hobby… this is one of them, so you don’t need to feel burdened.”

He probably was not unaware that the words he added to lessen the burden were, in fact, adding to it. Jeff, letting out a laugh like a sigh, said.

“I’ll gratefully accept the thought. I don’t use paperweights.”

“You don’t have to use it. You can just keep it as a decoration….”

“Jeff?”

Hugo, who had finished checking out the book, approached. The startled young man ran off before Jeff could even hand the box back. He went back to the seat, but there was not even a trace of him left. Since he had even packed his bag and hidden, he could not leave the box behind. Jeff, who clicked his tongue, left the library, and Hugo, who was waiting in the hallway, showed interest.

“What’s all that about?”

“He says it’s a paperweight.”

“Why a paperweight all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know.”

He opened the lid of the pure white box. Inside was a hemispherical crystal paperweight. Jeff quietly stared at the shape submerged beneath the smooth surface. Hugo, who was looking down at it beside him, muttered softly.

“It’s a butterfly.”

As he said, a specimen of a butterfly with a shimmering blue light was trapped inside the crystal.

“How pitiful.”

Hugo continued, as if whispering.

“To be caught by a human. Unable to return to nature and trapped forever.”

He clicked his tongue as if he felt sorry for the creature that had been artificially preserved. To Jeff, who was just looking silently, he asked.

“By the way, it’s quite beautiful, do you happen to know what species it is?”

“I don’t know.”

Jeff closed the lid and pushed the box into his bag. I’m not sure, he said with a shrug of his shoulders, and narrowed eyes cast a glance at him.

“You really don’t know?”

“I said I don’t know.”

Jeff let out a short sigh. But Hugo, as if he had no intention of backing down, stared at Jeff with a strange smile.

“There’s no way.”

“Why are you so sure that I would know?”

“Why else.”

Hugo smiled leisurely and shook the book he was holding in his hand. His smooth fingertips lightly tapped the title on the cover, 『The World of Insects』.

“Because it’s the field you were exploring. You’re crazy about bugs, you are.”

The green-eyed smile deepened slightly.

“That kid must have given you something like this because he knew that, right? In fact, all the people who should know, know. That you’re a die-hard bug enthusiast.”

A bug enthusiast. Jeff furrowed his brow slightly.

“Are you really thinking of switching to being a biologist, no, an entomologist? Giving up the path of a humanities student?”

“You must have nothing better to do.”

Tsk, Jeff clicked his tongue, snatched the book from Hugo’s hand, and shoved it into his bag.

“Why are you so interested in what books other people read anyway.”

“Why do you think? It’s to figure out your interests because I want to get closer to you.”

“Is that so?”

Jeff, stopping in his tracks, turned back to Hugo.

“Is that what you did?”

“No.”

Hugo shrugged his shoulders and whispered playfully.

“I’m the type who believes in striking up a conversation first instead of scheming behind someone’s back.”

His smiling face was impeccably smooth. It was just as one would expect from a well-groomed child of the upper class.

“And the kind of person you would strike up a conversation with first would generally be my type.”

“Your type?”

Hugo, even after grasping the true meaning of the words, pretended not to know and smiled. That attitude was also a facet of a child of the upper class. Jeff started walking again and said nonchalantly.

“I don’t dislike hypocrisy.”

At that, Hugo looked at Jeff with a peculiar expression.

“It can be helpful. Especially if it’s hypocrisy that fills a hungry stomach.”

“Hypocrisy that fills a hungry stomach….”

Hugo, repeating Jeff’s words, added with the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“I’m a little hurt that you’re so sure it’s hypocrisy. I was being full of sincere goodwill, you know.”

“From the perspective of the one receiving, it doesn’t matter what it is. Whether it’s sincere goodwill or hypocrisy, as long as I can fill my stomach, that’s all that matters.”

“Wait a minute, the more I listen to this, the more it sounds like I’m on the losing end of this deal.”

Hugo, placing a hand on his chest, let out an exaggerated sigh. Jeff glanced at him and said.

“I won’t stop you from quitting the business, but I hope you’ll at least fill my stomach now before you do.”

“What? Haha!”

A burst of laughter erupted from Hugo’s mouth. A clear laugh echoed through the hallway. Gazes followed him from all around, but he paid them no mind. After a good laugh, Hugo shook his head and caught his breath.

“Ah, Jeff. You’re the first person to treat me like a wallet so openly.”

“You’re half responsible too. You were the one who volunteered to provide food aid in the first place.”

Jeff recalled his first meeting with Hugo Gray.

He was a well-known figure within the university. The young man with brilliant blond hair, unmixed with any impurities, and vivid green eyes was beautiful and charming, as if representing his ‘Gray’ background. He always wore high-end clothes and used an elegant demeanor and accent.

Judging by his appearance alone, he was by no means an easy person to approach, but thanks to his gentle nature and friendly, unpretentious attitude, he was always surrounded by people. Some art students even followed him around, referring to him as their muse, which sufficiently explained how great his popularity was.

“Hello. You’re Lowell, right?”

The moment he was scanning a bookshelf in the library, a clear voice flowed over lightly. That was his first meeting with Hugo.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. Rumor has it that the fastidious Professor Douglas adores you?”

The emotion Jeff felt when the famous person everyone knew appeared before him was annoyance. The fate of a poor person who catches the eye of an upper-class popular figure is always cliché. This type usually provoked the envy of those around them. Wanting to avoid being pestered by his peculiar followers at all costs, Jeff managed a smile and accepted the greeting.

“Hello. It’s a trivial rumor compared to yours.”

Then he turned away indifferently and took out the book he had his eye on. He had hoped he would leave, but instead, Hugo closed the distance and said.

“『A Study of Insignificant Creatures』? Wow, you read unusual books.”

A strange scent settled on the tip of his nose, where the smell of old books had been lingering. His mouth, which had opened to give a suitable reply, closed. When he turned his head to follow the trail of the scent, there was Hugo. Jeff, without realizing it, hardened his expression and looked at Hugo. He seemed taken aback by Jeff’s direct gaze and asked in a puzzled tone.

“What’s wrong? Did I perhaps do something rude….”

“…There’s a scent coming from you.”

Jeff asked in a low voice.

“What kind of scent is it?”

“Scent? Ah, are you talking about perfume? That’s strange. I didn’t put on any perfume….”

Tilting his head, Hugo sniffed the collar of his button-down shirt.

“Hmm, no. There is a very faint scent. It seems what I sprayed in the air for a test yesterday clung to my clothes.”

Then he added, his eyes widening.

“More importantly, Lowell, you have a sensitive sense of smell.”

“The scent coming from you is perfume?”

“Yes. Probably? It’s a new perfume my hyung sent me yesterday….”

Hugo, who had been answering casually, suddenly let out a small exclamation as if he remembered something.

“Ah, come to think of it. Lowell, you don’t know much about me, do you? Sorry. My introduction was late.”

He offered a handshake and smiled brightly.

“I’m Hugo Gray.”

“…I’m Jeff Lowell.”

“I know, Lowell. You’re quite famous.”

Hugo, after lightly releasing the handshake, continued.

“My family is in the perfumery business. My hyung is currently carrying on the family business as the fifth generation, and he’s a genius perfumer who surpasses our ancestors.”

“A perfumer?”

“Yes. What you’re smelling now is probably the lingering scent of a new perfume. I’d like to ask for your impression…, hmm. Seeing your expression, I think I know. It must not be to your taste.”

“Ah….”

Jeff, belatedly schooling his expression, put on a nonchalant smile.

“My apologies. The scent is charming. It’s just that it was a strangely familiar scent… I think I reacted a bit sensitively because I was surprised. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s alright. It wasn’t unpleasant. But more importantly….”

Hugo raised an eyebrow with interest.

“You said the scent was familiar? That’s a bit of a problem. It hasn’t even been released yet.”

“Don’t mind it. It’s more likely just my imagination that it’s familiar.”

In reality, it was closer to a ‘smell’ than a ‘scent’. Jeff shook off the scene from his old memory and fixed his gaze on the book in his hand.

『A Study of Insignificant Creatures』

As Hugo had said, it was not a book worth seeking out to read. It was not necessary unless one was a specialist; it belonged to a niche field, if you thought about it.

But for Jeff, it was different. For him, it was worth reading even if he had to give up sleep. The only reason he had worked to death to get into this school was because of the library. He spent all the time he could, outside of classes, in the library. There were various kinds of books here, including old tomes, and he thought he might find a clue to ‘that thing’ he was looking for.

“Is that so? Still, I should probably contact my hyung just in case.”

Hugo said, as if muttering to himself.

“My hyung has a strong pride in his scents, so he pursues unique fragrances. It’s impossible for <Vebreuk> to have a similar scent that you’ve smelled somewhere before.”

“<Vebreuk>?”

“Ah, <Vebreuk> is the brand name our family runs. Not to brag, but it’s quite famous. We received a Royal Warrant.”

“Ah, right. I think I’ve heard of it.”

It was a lie. There was no way he, in his situation, would know about expensive perfumery brands. Nevertheless, he chose to lie because he knew that ignorance could sometimes harm others. It was better to swallow truths that might crack the other person’s pride. As Jeff nodded with an elegant smile, Hugo spoke with a much friendlier expression.

“Lowell, are you by any chance interested in scents? If you’re okay with it, I’d like to give you a <Vebreuk> perfume as a gift.”

“Thank you. But I’ll just accept the thought. I’m actually not a fan of scents.”

“Ah, is that so? That’s a shame.”

Hugo clicked his tongue briefly.

“There was a scent I thought would suit you well. But since you seem to have a sensitive sense of smell, I guess it can’t be helped….”

He paused for a moment and looked at Jeff.

“Then how about we have a meal together? I’d like to talk with you a bit more.”

“I’m sorry, Gray. Right now, I was going to read….”

Growl. Before he could finish his refusal, his stomach rumbled. It was not a loud noise, but it was enough for Hugo, who was standing close by, to hear. Of all the times, why did it have to make a sound when he brought up a meal. Hunger always showed up without any tact and put Jeff in a difficult position.

“It seems like a meal takes precedence over reading, Lowell.”

Jeff nodded with a hollow laugh.

“That’s true.”

“I’d like to buy you a meal, are you going to refuse?”

“I was originally going to, but I can’t refuse now. I’m the shameless type.”

“That’s welcome news for someone luring another with food.”

Hugo, curving his eyes gently, led Jeff to his favorite café. What was meant to be a brief connection, ending after one meal, continued on because of Hugo.

He would seek out Jeff, undeterred even when Jeff showed his intention to refuse. If he had tried to provide material help with impure intentions, it would have been possible to ignore him. But since he only offered light meals and snacks at most, at some point, Jeff also began to accept them naturally.

He learned later that this side of Hugo was quite famous. A hobby or a kindness of a wealthy talent who could not pass by people in need.

In that respect, it was a natural course of events for Jeff to catch Hugo’s eye. In a university filled with dashing upper-class children and talented individuals, a person with a shabby appearance would have been easy to spot. It was a legitimate symbiotic relationship, so to speak. Allowing someone to be generous was a role that only the have-nots could provide. That was how the food aid began.

“Order more if it’s not enough, Jeff.”

“It’s fine. This is enough.”

Jeff, deflecting the pitying gaze, polished off the rest of his sandwich in one bite. Hugo, letting out a light laugh, put a cigarette to his lips. Click, a flame shot up from the wick of the pipe lighter engraved with his initials. Even though he was burning a filter and not a pipe, he always used a pipe lighter. There was no special reason, he said he simply liked it.

“Jeff.”

Hugo spoke to Jeff, who was tracing in his eyes the flame that had appeared and vanished in an instant.

“Have I ever told you about Collie?”

“Collie… you mean your hometown?”

“That’s right. My hometown.”

Hugo, who had fixed his gaze on empty space for a moment, murmured softly.

“…Collie. It’s an incredibly beautiful town.”

A look of nostalgia brushed over his face as he thought of his hometown. Seeing this, Jeff slowly lowered his gaze. Unlike Hugo, Jeff’s memories of his hometown were filled with nothing but pain. Jeff, feeling bitter, drank the cold tea to hide his stiffened lips. Just then, Hugo blew out a long stream of cigarette smoke and said.

“As you know, the weather here is quite fickle. But Collie is different.”

After holding his breath for a moment, Hugo’s voice continued calmly.

“The weather there is always sunny. Thanks to the fertile soil and climatic characteristics, all the hills of Collie are colorfully painted with jasmine and lavender, roses and mimosa, and orange trees.”

His profile, faintly visible through the cigarette smoke, seemed for some reason to be gazing at a distant place.

“Besides, all the raw materials used in <Vebreuk> are grown in Collie.”

“It sounds wonderful just hearing about it. To be honest, it’s hard for me to even imagine how beautiful it must be.”

“That’s right. You can’t perfectly picture that place with just your imagination. But if you go there, anyone would fall in love. Even you, who dislikes scents, would be captivated by the scents that exist there.”

“Yes. That might be so.”

Jasmine, lavender, roses, mimosa, and orange trees, was that what he said? Collie, if he went there, would all those scents be mixed together? Or would they emanate while each maintaining their unique quality?

Clink, Jeff, who had set down his empty teacup, raised his head. He gazed at the green eyes that had strangely deepened, perhaps due to his longing for his hometown, and opened his mouth.

“The scent that comes from you, it all comes from that place, right?”

“I suppose so?”

“Listening to you, Collie sounds like a sacred land of scents.”

Jeff, with his chin propped on his hand, continued to speak quietly.

“Since you grew up in a place like that, I suppose you would emanate such a scent. Even though I don’t prefer scents, I can’t deny the fact that yours is charming.”

“I’m honored, Jeff.”

Hugo’s gently smiling face was filled with pride for his hometown. Jeff tapped the rim of his teacup. He looked at the handsome young man whom everyone loved and muttered as if to himself.

“But why is it that your scent keeps feeling so familiar to me? I’ve never been to Collie, nor have I ever sprayed a <Vebreuk> perfume….”

In the first place, <Vebreuk> perfumes were not something a poor person like Jeff could easily obtain. The same was true even for the children of the wealthy upper class. That was why many tried to win Hugo’s favor. To obtain a <Vebreuk> perfume. Since he held kindness and gentleness as virtues, he had a disposition to give easily. But even Hugo did not readily share <Vebreuk> perfumes.

“Familiar. Familiar, you say….”

Hugo’s low voice repeated Jeff’s words like a parrot.

“Yes, now that I think about it, you said that when we first met too.”

Suddenly, his eyes narrowed.

“That you could sense a familiar scent from me. But you know what, Jeff?”

“What?”

When Jeff asked back indifferently, a faint smile brushed across Hugo’s lips.

“The perfume you smelled back then was never released. It was eventually scrapped. As I said, <Vebreuk> wants a unique perfume that has never been smelled anywhere else.”

“…I said something I shouldn’t have.”

“No, no. Jeff. It means it was actually helpful. I told you, didn’t I. <Vebreuk> does not want anything familiar. It always pursues a new, unique, and captivating scent. Your words back then were a great help to us. Thanks to them, we were able to create a scent even more charming than that.”

He added with a bright smile.

“It’s funny for me to say this with the name Gray but…. Jeff, to be honest, I think this. A perfectly unique scent cannot exist in this world.”

The young master of the perfumery family continued eloquently.

“Extracting the raw materials, synthesizing and combining them, there must be a limit to it all, don’t you think? The temperature and humidity, even the microscopic particles in the air. A scent is easily altered by numerous variables. But the majority of people don’t easily notice that change.”

“Well, that’s true.”

Jeff slowly agreed.

“But Jeff, you have a sensitive sense of smell. To the point where if you received professional training, you would have the makings of an outstanding perfumer.”

“It’s not to that extent.”

“No. It’s true, Jeff. Trust me. I’m someone who grew up watching a genius perfumer up close.”

Hugo’s eyes sparkled as he said that.

“You definitely have a talent. In my opinion… yes, I think that familiarity you mentioned might be you sensing some kind of essence that the raw materials possess. Perhaps that thing you felt familiarity with shares the same essence as what I have.”

“……”

“So, Jeff.”

Hugo leaned his body toward Jeff.

“Can I ask when, where, and from what you smelled that scent? To be honest, I’ve always been curious.”

The green gaze, not hiding its interest, examined Jeff’s complexion. Jeff, who had picked up his teacup to wet his dry lips, swallowed a breath. The cup had been empty for a while. Clink, Jeff set down the teacup and opened his mouth.

“It was when I was very young, so my memory is faint.”

“Still, there must be something you remember.”

“I don’t know. I just have the impression that it was strangely familiar.”

“Try to recall slowly, Jeff. Was it a scent given by a place? Or an object, or a person?”

Hugo asked again. Jeff, after pondering for a moment, opened his mouth.

“…A person. I don’t want to say more than that.”

When he answered so, Hugo’s face was somehow flushed. A peculiar light flickered in his green eyes.

“Jeff.”

Hugo whispered very quietly, yet clearly.

“How about you go to Collie?”

“What?”

Collie, all of a sudden. Jeff frowned at the out of the blue remark. Hugo, raising both hands as if he understood Jeff’s feelings, added.

“I know. It’s a sudden proposal. But Jeff, the reason I brought up Collie in the first place was because there was a reason. The conversation strayed for a moment, but since it seems Collie is the place that can resolve the question you have, it’s a good thing for me.”

Hugo looked at Jeff and said in a tone full of conviction.

“And you’ve been concerned about my scent all along. Haven’t you?”

Jeff did not deny it.

“As you described it, Collie is a sacred land of scents. If you go there, you might be able to find out the identity of the scent you feel familiarity with. Then your faint memories might become clearer.”

“Aha, so I should just drop everything and head straight to Collie?”

“Haha, Jeff. I know your financial situation well. Do you really think I was suggesting you just go on a trip to Collie?”

“If not that, then what is it. Don’t drag it out and just get to the point.”

With a bright smile, Hugo suddenly began to rummage through his bag. From inside the smooth leather bag, he took out a few documents.

“A letter of recommendation?”

Jeff narrowed his brow as he looked down at the documents.

“Why a letter of recommendation all of a sudden….”

“The Grays sponsor poor talents every year. Not only that, they also regularly provide free meals and daily necessities to the vagrants of Collie.”

“……”

Was the reason he could not pass by people in difficult situations because he grew up seeing such an environment? Jeff, looking at his own empty bowl, stared at Hugo without a word.

“Jeff, I would like you to become a private tutor at the mansion in Collie.”

“…A private tutor? Are you being serious?”

“Of course I’m serious, Jeff.”

Hugo’s voice was unwavering.

“We need a private tutor. Someone who will reside at the mansion and guide the talented individuals who haven’t seen the light because of poverty. The children educated within the fence of Gray will finally gain the courage to face the world with dignity.”

Pausing for a moment, Hugo looked at Jeff and smiled.

“Just like me.”

“Wait, what did you say?”

The words he ended with while Jeff was listening calmly were completely unexpected. As Jeff’s eyes widened in surprise, Hugo shrugged lightly.

“The poor young talent. That’s me. And I was fortunate enough to receive Gray’s grace and be adopted.”

“You’re… adopted?”

“That’s right. You wouldn’t know, but since I don’t resemble them in any way, rumors used to circulate that I was an illegitimate child. But in reality, far from being an illegitimate child, I’m a stranger who doesn’t share a single drop of blood with them.”

Hugo took a short breath and then whispered secretively.

“And now, you’re the only one who knows this fact.”

“…Wait, Hugo. To be honest, I’m a little taken aback. Why are you telling me this.”

It was true that he was the only person Jeff could call a friend, but they were not close enough to reveal all their personal circumstances to each other. Feeling burdened, Jeff pressed his hand to his throbbing forehead. Hugo, smiling somewhat bitterly and apologetically, said.

“The private tutor who educated me was a very kind person. He always treated the children with a gentle smile.”

A low voice continued softly.

“There were four other talented children who took lessons with me. We were all different in age, gender, appearance, and level of knowledge, but our teacher met each of our eyes one by one and treated us without discrimination.”

The story that followed was not the answer Jeff wanted, but Jeff silently listened to his words.

“If we followed the day’s lesson well, he would always pat our heads and praise us. If we couldn’t follow well, he would pat our heads even more gently.”

Hugo’s voice was low and soft. His gaze, fixed on the empty air, was deep, as if he were tracing an old memory with his fingertips.

“I even thought that if angels existed in this world, they would look like our teacher. Can you get a sense of what a good person he was? I really liked and followed him.”

Suddenly, Hugo turned to look at Jeff.

“I wanted to be him.”

That probably meant he wanted to become an adult like him. His childhood wish seemed to have been fully realized. Hugo already had the appearance of a good adult. Those who had been helped by him would understand a little of the young Hugo’s heart. Jeff, lowering his hand from his forehead and smiling faintly, said.

“Yes, I get the sense. He must have been a really good person.”

“That’s right, he was a really good person. But you know what, Jeff? You resemble him.”

Hugo added.

“Your light amber eyes and your atmosphere are strangely similar. I’m only saying this now, but that’s why I first approached you. I was drawn to you because you resembled my teacher. Though when we actually talked, your personality was the complete opposite. You’re kind to everyone, but you’re not the type to be easily approached, are you?”

Of course, I’m not saying you’re not kind. Hugo, who whispered playfully, smiled good-naturedly.

“Maybe that’s why, whenever I see you, I think it would be great if you became the tutor at the mansion. You’re smart, and you often help other students with their assignments. The rumor is that your explanations are easier to understand than the professor’s.”

To his words, Jeff replied with an indifferent expression.

“It’s for pocket money. It wasn’t an act of holy sacrifice or goodwill to help others in trouble.”

“That’s why I want to propose it to you. We need a private tutor, and as it happens, you’re smart and you need money.”

“But I’m a person who can’t arm myself with the kindness and gentleness of the teacher in your memories?”

“Of course, it’s true that I have special memories of being under a tutor armed with kindness and gentleness, but… well. Looking back, someone like you is just right, Jeff.”

“Someone like me is just right?”

Hugo, draping his upper body over the table and propping up his chin, smiled with a peculiar expression.

“Because when personal feelings become excessive, the center tends to collapse.”

Jeff looked at Hugo without a word.

“I’ll tell you in advance, Jeff. The children there are very cunning. Because they’ve experienced rock bottom, they’ll do anything to receive attention and affection. I was like that too.”

Meeting his gaze fully, Hugo slowly continued.

“Sharing a piece of the bread I have with hungry children is a noble deed, isn’t it? But the children who have experienced the taste of bread will remember the one who shared it every time they get hungry. They’ll get greedier. They’ll stop at nothing to get another piece of bread from him, to look good to him. I, who had shared the bread out of a purely human heart, swept up in a moment of pity, would gradually start to feel burdened. I have nothing more to give, and in fact, I don’t even want to give any more. But they swarm like a hive of bees and buzz around me….”

Hugo, who had been humming ‘buzz buzz’ while twirling his fingertip, stopped his movement. He let his gaze drift as if looking at empty space.

“Ah, how tormenting that must be. It’s not an easy thing to handle, no matter how much of a saint one might be.”

“……”

The ridicule and pity hidden within the placid tone blocked Jeff’s words. What was the target of it? The teacher who had cast his affection rashly? Or the deprived children?

Jeff looked at the handsome young man before him with calm eyes. There were moments when he felt a strange sense of incongruity from Hugo, who always had a gentle face, just like today. It was similar to a sense of unease he had felt sometime before.

“In the end, the teacher was replaced before long.”

Hugo continued nonchalantly.

“If there’s one lesson I learned from that, it’s that it’s better for the teacher to be someone with a business-like attitude. So that they wouldn’t even dare to hope for affection.”

“Were you perhaps hurt by what happened back then?”

At the low question, Hugo was lost in thought for a moment.

“Um, well. It was probably closer to disappointment than hurt…. Anyway, my point is that what we need is not a nanny, but literally a teacher who will be in charge of basic education. A sense of duty for the given task is enough. There’s no need to go as far as to soothe the children’s hearts.”

“Yes. I understand.”

In any case, Jeff also agreed with his words to a certain extent. Especially on the point that one should not lightly show emotions one cannot take full responsibility for. Jeff, who nodded, looked at the letter of recommendation. The edges of the paper were faded, as if it had been written a long time ago.

“In that sense, Jeff.”

And there was Hugo’s scent.

“You are the perfect person.”

It was the scent of a deeply buried memory and a symbol of unease.

Thud, Jeff kicked away his roommate’s things that had invaded his territory and put down his bag. The time was already midnight. His roommate, who had gotten in through a donation admission, seemed to be breaking curfew again today. It was a fortunate thing for Jeff. Thanks to him, he could use the two-person room like a one-person room. The habit of making a mess of the space and the poor lifestyle of coming back steeped in alcohol and drugs were annoying, but he could tolerate that much.

“Still, it would be nice if he didn’t come back before I leave, if possible.”

Since he had a journey ahead of him, he wanted to avoid facing someone who was not in their right mind.

Hugo’s proposal was sudden, but making the decision was not difficult. Just as he said, Jeff needed money, and thankfully, he also had sufficient ability to teach children. It was something he had experienced all throughout his time at the orphanage.

When he accepted the proposal, Hugo looked very happy. He seemed to have a unique sense of mission for nurturing talent. Perhaps it was because he himself had been a beneficiary. Since he was able to get a new chance at life within the sturdy fence of Gray, maybe he thought he had to earn his keep as well. He might have been feeling a new sense of emotion at being able to select and send a teacher himself.

Despite it being a long journey, his luggage was simple. It was said that everything needed for daily life, including clothes, would be prepared at the mansion. There was no news more welcome to a poor university student. In fact, even without the mansion’s consideration, Jeff’s luggage would not have even half-filled the shabby leather duffel bag. What he owned was just that light.

It did not seem like he would fall asleep easily, but he had to get at least a little bit of shut-eye. Just as he was setting his alarm, a box suddenly came into Jeff’s view. A presence in a corner of the desk, hidden in the darkness, that seemed to have just revealed itself. It was the paperweight he had received at the library a few weeks ago.

“Ah….”

A short sigh like a breath escaped him. Jeff picked up the box and sat on the edge of the bed. It was an item he had meant to return but ultimately could not. That was because he had not been able to find the young man anywhere in the school since that day. He was only able to find out the reason after asking the well-connected Hugo about the young man’s whereabouts.

The young man was dead.

The very next dawn after he gifted him the paperweight, he was found as a cold corpse in an alley downtown. His body, which had been assaulted with a blunt weapon, was said to be no different from a rag. The damage to the back of his head was particularly severe, and the discovery of a trace that seemed to have rummaged through his brain shocked the area. Jeff, who remembered the hand that had awkwardly handed over the gift while smelling of sweet pancakes, mourned the deceased with a heavy heart.

The fortunate thing was that the culprit was arrested not long after the incident occurred. The culprit was a vagrant with mental problems. He, who had committed the brutal murder, was sentenced to be hanged.

“……”

As he looked at the box, the young man’s face kept coming to mind. He knew his face, but not his name. He also knew that he was always watching him from a step behind, but he never made a point of acknowledging it. That day in the library when he sat in the empty seat next to him. That moment became the first and last courage the young man had offered.

If he had known he would see his name in the newspaper, he should have asked for it at least once. While acknowledging the familiar scent that wafted very faintly beyond the pancake smell that had awakened his hunger. To him, who exuded a faint but similar scent to Hugo, asking if he also sprayed <Vebreuk> perfume. If he had spoken to him lightly, what kind of expression would the young man have shown in his reply? Would he have smiled? Or would he have run away like that day?

But now it was a meaningless fantasy. Jeff fidgeted with the box the young man had given him. Clink, when he opened the lid, the paperweight he faced was exactly as he had first seen it. The crystal, reflecting the light, shone brilliantly. It seemed as if the blue butterfly trapped inside was also twinkling along with it. Looking at it, he was suddenly reminded of Hugo’s words.

“…You’re crazy about bugs.”

It was an undeniable fact. However, he had not expected that this side of him was noticeable to others. Was his appearance of being cooped up in the library, poring over books related to bugs, considered to be in the realm of a preference to them?

To the extent that they would give a gift made from a dead butterfly.

Jeff stared blankly at the paperweight. As Hugo had guessed, he knew the identity of the butterfly trapped inside the paperweight. This butterfly, with its beautiful metallic blue light, was one of the Lycaenidae.

Why did he not say anything, even though he knew? Was it a rebellion against the attitude that seemed to know everything? Was he afraid of being dug into?

Jeff, letting out a long sigh, took the paperweight out of the box. As he did, something suddenly fluttered and landed on the bed. It was a torn piece of paper. Jeff, holding the paperweight in one hand, looked down at the scrap of paper. It looked like a passage torn from a book.

Even though he had checked the box several times, he had never thought that something might be hidden under the paperweight. Jeff narrowed his eyes and picked up the paper. The texture felt rough, as if it would crumble at his fingertips. A piece of paper that had turned yellow with the passage of time. Why was something like this hidden under the paperweight? The moment he was wondering, the sentence written on the paper came into his sight.

“…What is this.”

「………be revealed, so the one who has questions must follow the …. …will be revealed.」

It was a message left behind by the dead young man.