TTRIA 15

What did the children look like when they discovered the wound? They flared their nostrils as if they had found prey, and their glistening eyes could not look away. That must be because the children are ‘that existence’ with ‘that scent’. Like Hugo, like their uncle, Alan Walker. Because they are ‘bugs’ wearing human skin.

Wayne Gray, who raises young ‘bugs’ under the pretext of a sponsorship program. No, in this case, should I see it as the Gray family? They are creating <Vivlook> with the scent produced by the ‘bugs’ as a motif. Perhaps they are even directly utilizing the ‘bugs’ scent. For instance, hair, skin oil, or perhaps blood. Since he is a genius perfumer, wouldn’t he somehow utilize it as a raw material?

If they have to obtain the scent through the ‘bugs’ like that, they would have had to fill their stomachs as well. By using people under the name of private tutors as sacrifices.

“Ha, hahaha… right. That’s why the hints were like that.”

“Do not overlook even minor changes.”

“Alright, Jeff. Then I will give you just one piece of advice. …Be careful.”

In the end, the test was just a pretense of a game. It was a food hunt by the young ‘bugs’ who took advantage of my desperate heart. They were probably planning to slowly tighten the noose around my neck, using the harmlessness of being children as a shield.

“Vile bastard.”

Hugo, who had whispered so fondly about his memories of his private tutor, was disgusting. What did he say again? That I caught his eye because of a similar atmosphere? He probably had me marked as a sacrifice from then on. That was why the edge of the recommendation letter was faded. Because it must have been written a long time ago.

My blood boiled.

It was anger at having become prey, and at the same time, it was elation that the existence I had been searching for so desperately was real. As expected, I had not seen it wrong. I was not crazy. My mother was not wrong. No one believed me, but it was real. So close by….

The proof of the full moon was no longer necessary. It was already a certain fact. That those with ‘that scent’ are all ‘bugs’ wearing human skin. That the Gray family mansion, beloved by everyone in Colley, is in fact a den of ‘bugs’.

And if, they are the ones who did that to Alan Walker. If they used Alan Walker knowing he was a ‘bug’. Even if he was a being with another side, if they are the ones who sullied my uncle, who was my mother’s proud younger brother….

Jeff will never forgive the Grays. Before I become food for the young bugs, I will be the one to bring down the Grays first.

From the moment he headed into the forest, the watcher no longer followed him. Jeff stopped in front of the annex. The back of a man was visible at the 2nd-floor window where the curtains fluttered. The white shirt with its generous fit looked just like the sheet that had wrapped his body last night. His gaze slid along the wavering fabric. The man did not turn around even after noticing the presence. There was no need to be careful with someone who was aware yet feigned ignorance.

Jeff opened the door without hesitation and stepped inside. As he climbed the stairs shrouded in thick darkness, the silhouette of the man perched on the 2nd-floor window sill became clearer. He was holding a violin. But what caught his eye before that were the wounds left on the fingertips holding the bow.

“Sleepwalking again?”

The man with Wayne’s face spoke with a gentle smile. That smile was truly like Wayne Gray’s, but his terribly trembling fingertips and deep gashes proved his identity. Nevertheless, he was still pretending to be composed, imitating Wayne’s expression like someone who wanted to deny everything.

“Even if it is sleepwalking, aren’t you coming a bit too often.”

He whispered with a troubled smile.

“I would appreciate it if you would go back. It is too lat….”

“Who are you?”

A single, casually thrown-out word sank into the air. The man’s smile shattered in an instant. The smooth corners of his mouth convulsed uneasily, and the expression that had drawn soft lines collapsed. He must have realized it too. The fact that he could no longer pretend not to know.

That Jeff knew he was not Wayne Gray. Not enough time had passed to pretend not to know about the events of the early morning.

The man erased his smile and faced Jeff. His face, hardened stiffly, threw a fierce gaze. Jeff smirked faintly. No matter how much he revealed his guard and glared with sharp eyes, he could not hide his trembling fingertips. He seemed to want to resist fiercely, but that unstable, shaking figure was ultimately nothing more than a sad portrait destined to collapse.

“I know you are not Wayne Gray.”

“……”

“Wayne Gray’s fingertips are the very definition of elegant.”

Jeff’s gaze lingered on the tattered fingertips.

“There is no way a person who handles scents would abuse his hands until the flesh is torn. The smell of blood would interfere with his work.”

He rummaged through his pocket and tossed out the bandages and ointment he had brought in advance. The moment the small objects hit the floor, the man’s shoulders flinched.

“If you were the Wayne Gray that everyone reveres, the wounds on those fingertips should have been wrapped in bandages long ago. Most importantly.”

“……”

“You would not have appeared in such a state at dawn.”

At the words that followed, the man’s eyes became fierce. The edges of the pupils that held blue jewels began to turn red. It was as if he was holding back tears of blood. Jeff suppressed his complicated feelings and opened his mouth.

“Why are you in a place like this?”

“……”

“Why is the mansion hiding your existence?”

“……”

“Why were you in that state every full moon?”

No answer came back. However, the welling moisture took the place of that silence. That which had been precariously pooled finally formed a drop and flowed down. It welled up as soon as it fell and fell again, unable to bear the weight.

The man just shed tears like that without a sound. He had brought bandages to treat the wounds, but he had not known he would need a handkerchief to wipe away tears. Jeff could only twitch his fingertips and take in the man’s tears with his eyes.

A crying child could at least be soothed and comforted, but what was the way to stop the tears of a man full of警戒심? For some reason, he felt a stuffiness in his chest. Just then, when he could not hold back a rising sigh. Suddenly, the violin case came into Jeff’s view.

“……”

Ah, right. Perhaps that name from back then was….

“Cecil.”

As he whispered softly, the man’s eyes wavered. Jeff realized. The meaning held in the parting lips. It was an answer to him calling his name.

“Cecil Gray.”

“……”

I see. It was not a predecessor’s, it was your name. The name of the man hidden by the mansion existed only as an engraving on a mere violin case.

“…Cecil. Cecil Gray.”

Jeff slowly savored the name.

“It is a pretty name. Better than Wayne Gray.”

It really was. Despite having the same face, the name Cecil suited the man before him better than Wayne.

“On the day of the full moon, I saw the name written on the violin case when I snuck into the annex. That is how I came to know your name.”

The tears had already stopped. Cecil met his gaze quietly with a face that revealed no emotion. Jeff, who had carefully taken a step closer, continued.

“I am sorry for intruding without permission. I naturally assumed it was Wayne’s space. Because I have many questions for the master of the house.”

“If you are thinking of digging up information about Wayne from me….”

At that moment, ‘Cecil’, who had been silent until now, spoke for the first time.

“It is a useless effort. I will not tell you anything.”

The blue pupils sank coolly. Jeff slowly opened his mouth.

“Why? Because you are Wayne Gray’s brother?”

He closed his mouth again. Jeff took another step forward.

“Is there any need to protect a human who intentionally hides his own twin’s existence, shoves him away in an annex, and even abuses him, just because he is a brother?”

Cecil’s gaze wavered. An agitated voice burst out from between his tightly bitten lips.

“Do not speak carelessly without knowing anything…!”

“What do you mean, I don’t know. It is not like I made things up, it is all true. The fact that the mansion is erasing your existence, the fact that you live in the annex and not the main building. The fact that you were suffering, struggling in pain.”

He added without a hint of hesitation while meeting the blue eyes.

“Abuse does not necessarily mean only physical violence. Ignoring a wounded person, neglecting a sick person, that is also abuse. You have experienced both, haven’t you.”

As soon as those words reached him, Cecil’s face distorted. As if the suppressed emotions were cracking, he shot a sharp gaze and gritted his teeth.

“I was not neglected.”

It was a firm denial. But his ragged breathing clearly revealed his agitation.

“Being stuck in this place is all my own will. It was all a decision I made because I wanted it.”

“Is that so? Then was being sick also your will?”

“……”

It seemed as though he was filled with resentment but could not bring himself to speak. To Jeff, he looked like a wounded young animal. Cecil had the same face as Wayne but was a completely different person. Was that why? Jeff did not hate him. Rather, he was just curious. Why a man this beautiful was like this. Why he was imitating Wayne and hiding in his shadow.

Jeff continued speaking as if to corner him.

“Was it your will to be collapsed like a corpse with a raging fever?”

“…Stop.”

“To have broken down, weeping sorrowfully.”

“…Stop it, stop it.”

“To have been writhing in pain, scratching your body as if you were going mad.”

“Stop it, stop talking! Shut that mouth…!”

His eyes, red and bloodshot, wavered. But Jeff did not stop.

“Was it all your will to look as if you had been violated, …ugh!”

He had thought it might be a sensitive point. As expected, before his words could finish, Cecil rushed at him. Thud! Cecil, who had climbed on top of the fallen Jeff, clamped both hands over his neck and mouth. He pressed down with ruthless force.

“Guk, keub…!”

“I, I told you to stop, stop it…!”

Cecil shouted sharply.

“I told you, to shut your mouth!”

He struggled, thrashing his body, but it only added to the force of the hands pressing down. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Cecil, putting his weight into it, whispered with his eyes glinting like a madman’s. It felt as if his face, pressed down so hard, would be crushed at any moment. He tried with all his might to pull the hands away, but it was useless. His head rang. He could not breathe. Jeff suddenly felt his vision flip. Just as his consciousness was fading,

“Stop, stop, st, …Ah. Ah, ahh!”

Cecil, who suddenly came to his senses, tore his hands away as if he was having a fit. He stumbled backward as if collapsing and shook his head. It seemed he did not want to believe what he had done, but the warmth of another person left in his hands was terribly vivid.

“No, no, it is not…. No….”

“Guk, heok, keok…! Cough!”

The blocked breath rushed in all at once. It was terribly painful. Jeff curled his convulsing, bucking body as tightly as he could and breathed out as if he were retching. If it had been even a second later, he might have died just like that. Ptui. Jeff, who had spit out saliva mixed with blood, laboriously pushed his upper body up. When he rubbed his eyes, where the capillaries had burst, and lifted his head, he saw a terrified Cecil. Their gazes tangled.

“…So, sorry, I am sorry. I am sorry, I, I did not mean to do this…. I did not mean to hurt you….”

“……”

Tears were flowing from his bloodshot eyes. He stood frozen, not knowing what to do with his two hands, and cried out, crushed by a sense of guilt. Blood dripped from his palms. It was because he had bitten them with his teeth.

“I am sorry, I am sorry…. I, I really did not mean to kill you….”

“…I know.”

A hoarse voice flowed from Jeff’s mouth. Swoosh. He wiped around his mouth and continued, looking at the blood smeared on the back of his hand.

“If you really intended to kill me, you would have choked my neck. Not just stupidly press on my mouth and neck like that.”

Cecil swallowed his breath.

“You just, did not want to hear my words.”

Jeff added with difficulty.

“So you wanted to stop me.”

“……”

Drip, drip. The sound of liquid falling was loud. It was the sound of blood and tears flowing from Cecil’s palms and eyes. Jeff, who was caressing his stinging neck, looked at Cecil. Was he going crazy from the pain? When he faced the perpetrator’s face, which was in a worse state than the victim’s, a hollow laugh somehow burst out.

“…I am sorry.”

Cecil, who saw that sight, whispered helplessly.

“I am sorry, for hurting you….”

“If you are sorry, then tell me about yourself.”

“……”

“I am not asking about Wayne. Cecil, tell me your story. I have been asking about you all along.”

Cecil’s lips trembled minutely.

“…I, I am….”

“……”

“…I am.”

Cecil, who wiped away his endlessly flowing tears, finally opened his mouth. Believing that answering was the only path to atonement, he suppressed his ragged breathing and let out a long story.

“I was born as Wayne’s, …Wayne’s twin. With a face so identical that even the doctor was surprised.”

His voice trembled. Nevertheless, he continued speaking quietly and calmly.

“But only the shell was the same, Wayne and I were completely different beings. He showed sensitivity to smells as soon as he was born, and his cognitive and developmental states were also superior. Compared to him, my development was slow and I was lacking. There was nothing… nothing that was better than Wayne.”

Jeff silently made eye contact, concentrating on his story.

“The one the Grays needed was only ‘Wayne’. They did not need a ‘dunce’ with Wayne’s face. Originally, I was supposed to have died.”

Cecil, who paused to catch his breath, clenched his finely trembling fingertips.

“The reason I can be alive like this, …is all thanks to Wayne.”

Long ago, on that day, it was when a servant was about to suffocate the useless shell. Wayne, who rarely cried, burst into tears. For a moment, if a hand touched Cecil, he would cry as if having a fit, and when the hand was removed, he would stop crying as if nothing had happened. As if he was desperately trying to say not to harm his other half. That is how Cecil was able to survive. But officially, the only child of the Gray family was Wayne.

“The reason I could wear the same clothes as Wayne, eat the same food, and receive the same education…. was because Wayne wanted me. He was the only one who recognized my ‘usefulness’. So I was able, once again, to gain a life.”

“Usefulness?”

Jeff did not hide his puzzled feelings. However, he only moved his lips but did not explain what his ‘usefulness’ was in the end. Jeff suddenly looked at the violins hanging on the wall. It must have been Wayne who noticed that Cecil had a talent for the instrument. But that was just a simple ‘talent’, not the ‘usefulness’ that the Grays needed. Something that the Grays would feel was ‘useful’….

“……”

Scent.

It must be the ‘fragrance’ that Cecil possessed. Jeff slowly inhaled the scent spreading through the air. The scent that came from ‘them’ was also flowing from Cecil. If there was just one difference.

“Wayne gave me a life. Since it is a life he gave me, I just have to live as he wishes.”

“……”

It was that it presented an extremely subtle, and pitifully beautiful sensation. Jeff looked at the man who held the fragrance and opened his mouth.

“What is the life that Wayne forces on you?”

At that, Cecil furrowed his brow.

“He did not force it.”

“You said you just have to live as Wayne Gray wishes.”

Jeff met his eyes steadily and continued calmly.

“That means that Wayne has an image he wants for you, doesn’t it? To have a desired picture for another person’s life. Making that known is also hypocrisy and a form of coercion, isn’t it?”

His gaze wavered for a moment, then he soon threw a strong look.

“It is not coercion because I wanted it too.”

“Is that not just what you want to think?”

“No.”

“Is that so? Let us say that is the case for now.”

“……”

A faint sigh escaped from the mouth of Cecil, who was frowning as if he was at a loss for words. Jeff chuckled, crossed his arms, and asked.

“Do you always stay here alone?”

“…Yes.”

“The servants?”

“There are none.”

“Why? You could have them stay on the 1st floor.”

“Because I do not like having people around.”

Cecil murmured softly.

“I am comfortable alone.”

Jeff nodded lightly and opened his mouth again.

“Then what about meals?”

“They bring it when it is time.”

“I see. Then what do you do during the day? Do you stay in the annex during the day too?”

“I just read books or….”

Cecil paused for a beat and added.

“I mostly practice the violin. When Ego comes, we take a walk in the annex forest.”

In the end, it meant he spent his time just hovering around the annex. Had he ever stepped outside the mansion?

“Come to think of it, I do not see Ego.”

“His home is not the annex. He was here because he came to see me.”

At those words, Jeff asked with a subtle expression.

“Were you not that fellow’s master?”

Cecil shook his head.

“No. His master is not me. It is Wayne.”

“I assumed you were the master since he only listens to his master’s words. He follows you well, doesn’t he.”

“That is….”

Cecil trailed off with a bitter smile. Jeff naturally changed the subject.

“Your violin playing is excellent, by the way. Did you learn it on your own?”

“No. I received lessons from a teacher. Though I have been practicing alone ever since I turned seventeen.”

“Why?”