TWYW C21

At Yuhyeon’s response, where not a single word was wrong, Gyeoul was about to bite his lip again but then opened his mouth.

“Then… I’ll be good.”

When Yuhyeon didn’t respond to the words he had uttered with great resolve, Gyeoul anxiously picked at the skin of his thumbnail.

“Lee Gyeoul.”

“Yes….”

“Do you like me?”

Gyeoul, with a face that looked as if he had received a shock, couldn’t easily answer Yuhyeon’s question. Gyeoul had known for a while that his feelings for Yuhyeon were not ordinary, but he had been avoiding it, not wanting to face what those feelings were. However, with just one question from Yuhyeon, Gyeoul came to fully realize his own emotions.

“Wh-Why. Am I not allowed to like you?”

“Yeah, you’re not.”

“Is it because I’m a guy?”

“If I say so, will you stop liking me?”

“No.”

Gyeoul answered without a moment’s hesitation.

“So you’re saying you like me?”

Even though Gyeoul hadn’t given a clear answer, Yuhyeon had already noticed his feelings. But that didn’t make it any easier for him to answer. Gyeoul just opened and closed his mouth, looking at him with trembling eyes.

“Never mind. Don’t answer. Just like that, don’t answer.”

At Yuhyeon’s incomprehensible words, Gyeoul scraped his lower lip with his teeth. Then, Yuhyeon’s hand came up and once again pulled his lip free.

“Fix that habit first.”

At the gentle touch of Yuhyeon’s hand on his lip, Gyeoul rubbed his reddened ear.

“Let’s go for now.”

He, who Gyeoul thought would tease him for his embarrassed face, just turned and walked away normally. It was really time for Gyeoul to go to his part-time job and he might be late, so he quietly followed behind Yuhyeon. He got into Yuhyeon’s car, which was in the school parking lot, and while sneaking glances at his side profile as he drove smoothly, he cautiously asked a question.

“Um… is it okay for me to stay by your side?”

“By my side? Who said you can’t be by my side?”

A nervous worry crept in that Yuhyeon might have become uncomfortable with Gyeoul, who liked him, even though he hadn’t confessed.

“Then, can I call you every day?”

“No. Only when you have a reason.”

“What about coming to see you every day?”

“How would you know where I am.”

“At your house?”

At Gyeoul’s absurd answer, Yuhyeon let out a chuckle.

“Showing up in front of my house is cheating.”

Actually, Gyeoul had really been planning to do that. Now that he was conscious of liking him, he had no intention of quietly harboring a one-sided love.

“Then what am I allowed to do?”

“Not liking me.”

“Why can’t I like you? Is it because I’m a guy?”

“Are we going back to the first question?”

“Ah… no….”

Gyeoul couldn’t bring himself to talk to him anymore and had to get out of Yuhyeon’s car, which had stopped in front of the café, and take his reluctant steps. While working, Gyeoul couldn’t get Yuhyeon’s thoughts out of his head. He hadn’t even formally confessed to him, but he already felt like he had been brutally rejected. The owner even looked at Gyeoul with a worried expression.

Having never liked someone before, Gyeoul didn’t know how to convey his feelings to Yuhyeon. Moreover, how could he bring it up to someone who told him not to say he liked him. Was this why they said first loves don’t come true? The worry on Gyeoul’s face only deepened.

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Since admitting to himself that he liked Yuhyeon, there hadn’t been a single day Gyeoul didn’t think of him. Yuhyeon’s face constantly roamed through his mind, and Gyeoul couldn’t even sleep soundly these days. Just as children want to do things even more when they’re told not to, Gyeoul’s feelings for Yuhyeon grew larger day by day, contrary to Yuhyeon’s words telling him not to like him. Not that Gyeoul had taken any action.

He hadn’t seen Yuhyeon since that day. Even on the day he had tutoring at his family’s home, Gyeoul didn’t see him. It wasn’t like he saw Yuhyeon often, but it even made him wonder if he was deliberately avoiding him. Liking someone was a first-time experience, so the feelings Gyeoul was experiencing were unfamiliar, and he didn’t know what to do. It would be nice to talk to someone about his worries, but there was no one around Gyeoul with whom he could share such stories.

Then, Gyeoul’s eyes met the owner’s as he was coming out of the café staff break room. They didn’t usually share personal stories, but since they saw each other every day, he was the closest person Gyeoul had.

“Sir.”

“Yeah?”

Taking advantage of a moment with no customers, Gyeoul cautiously approached the owner.

“I have something to ask you.”

“Yeah. What is it? Feel free to ask.”

The owner replied with a friendly smile.

“I’ve developed feelings for someone… and I’m not sure what to do.”

At Gyeoul’s direct question, who didn’t know how to beat around the bush, the owner looked at him with a slightly surprised expression. Since he wasn’t going to spread rumors, Gyeoul just asked the question that had been on his mind.

“Are you really Gyeoul?”

“What?”

“Wow, I can’t believe I’m getting a question like this from you. I should mark this on a calendar or something.”

He really looked like he was about to write it on a calendar. The owner smiled cheerfully before turning serious again to address Gyeoul’s question.

“Do you have any points of contact with the person you like?”

“Um… we take the same class.”

“Anything else?”

“We’re in the same club. And I’m also tutoring their younger brother.”

“Do you contact each other often?”

“No.”

“Still, you have more points of contact than I thought.”

Listing them out, it seemed like Gyeoul had quite a few opportunities to see his face. However, besides the liberal arts lecture, the club meetings weren’t regular, and Yuhyeon lived away from his family home, so meeting him was rare. In conclusion, he saw his face about once a week at most. And that frequency was far from enough for Gyeoul. Moreover, once the first semester ended and vacation started, he would really be unable to see his face even more.

“Do you have any mutual acquaintances?”

At the owner’s question, one person came to mind: Seungwon. But he didn’t particularly want to ask for his help. Besides, he didn’t know what kind of prejudice Seungwon might have about liking a man.

“See each other often, contact each other often, eat together, I think that’s the very first step.”

“But he told me to only contact him when I have a reason.”

“Really? Then you can just create a reason.”

At the owner’s lighthearted words, Gyeoul couldn’t help but nod. Lately, he hadn’t had any particular reason to contact Yuhyeon, so he had just been staring at the only photo they had taken together until it felt worn out.

“Ask to eat together or something. Wouldn’t it be good to spend time together often first?”

“Ah… you’re right. Thank you, sir. Why didn’t I think of that.”

“It’s been a long time since my love cells died, so I don’t know if I can be of help, but I’m always open for a consultation.”

“Thank you….”

It was the first time Gyeoul had ever consulted with someone. And on top of that, the consultation was because of someone he liked. Lately, Gyeoul felt utterly unfamiliar with himself.

“Try asking him to come visit the café. I’ll give him free drinks too.”

Gyeoul was grateful for the owner’s proactive help, but it was still too much for him to introduce Yuhyeon as the person he liked. The owner would naturally assume the person he liked was a woman, wouldn’t he? But he was worried about the owner’s expression if he were to introduce a man as the person Gyeoul liked. He didn’t want to ruin the relationship with the owner, who could be called his only acquaintance. Gyeoul replied that he understood, but he didn’t think he could deliberately call him to the café.

After finishing his part-time job and returning home, Gyeoul lay on his bed and stared intently at his phone. The owner had definitely said that reasons could be made, but it was difficult to bring himself to contact Yuhyeon first. If he were to contact him, he planned to ask him to eat together, but he was afraid of being rejected.

If he were to ask back, “Why would you and I eat together,” Gyeoul would be quite hurt. He himself had never hesitated to speak harshly to Yuhyeon, yet the mere thought of being rejected by him made his heart feel heavy. In the end, Gyeoul fell asleep without being able to contact Yuhyeon.

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Gyeoul, who hadn’t let go of his phone since last night, climbed the stairs to the place where he always took a break after his lectures and sat on the bench. He looked down at the campus spread out below his feet and fell into a sentimental mood, wondering if Yuhyeon was somewhere out there. Lately, whenever he had free time, Gyeoul would get lost in thoughts of Yuhyeon, and he had only recently realized how painful it was to like someone.

And on top of that, he was told not to like him. But Gyeoul didn’t want to listen to Yuhyeon’s words nicely. After all, if their hearts were to face each other in the end, wouldn’t that be the happy ending that Gyeoul liked?

Gyeoul hardened his resolve, picked up his phone, and pressed the number he had recently saved in his contact list, changing the name from “Psycho” to “Old Man.” After a few rings, the voice Gyeoul had longed to hear flowed out.