TWYW C24

“Lee Gyeoul.”

“No, I’m not drunk…”

“I get it, so lie down.”

“I said I’m not drunk…”

Yuhyeon forcefully laid Gyeoul down, who kept repeating that he wasn’t drunk, and covered him with a blanket. Gyeoul pouted with lips full of dissatisfaction and looked into the eyes of Yuhyeon, who was tucking him in meticulously.

“Sunbae, I’m really not drunk.”

“I get it, so shut your mouth.”

“…”

“And don’t curse at me with your eyes.”

“How did he know…”

Yuhyeon let out a small laugh and told him to rest before turning off the lights in the room, closing the door, and leaving. The room was then enveloped in pitch-black darkness. The streetlights from outside might have seeped through the window, but the curtains must have been drawn, because all Gyeoul could see was blackness. Ever since being locked up for a whole day in a space with no light as a child, Gyeoul could only fall asleep peacefully if there was at least a small light on. Unexpectedly trapped in the dark, Gyeoul panicked and his body froze solid.

Gyeoul wanted to call Yuhyeon back, but his breathing became increasingly rapid and he was so out of breath that he couldn’t even properly utter the two words, “Sunbae.” And soon, the clattering sound of a lock being turned reached his ears. Gyeoul’s heart pounded unpleasantly as if it would burst. His mind was screaming that he had to get out of the room, but his body wouldn’t move.

He barely managed to sit up from his lying position, and as he took a step to get out of bed, his foot got tangled in the blanket, and he fell off the bed. Feeling like the tangled blanket was grabbing and pulling at his ankle, Gyeoul struggled to get free from it. At that moment, the door opened and the light in the room turned on. Yuhyeon approached Gyeoul and put his hands under both of Gyeoul’s arms to help him up. However, Gyeoul, who had lost all his strength, couldn’t support himself and was about to collapse again, so Yuhyeon lifted him up and sat him on the bed.

“Why are you like this.”

“…”

“Lee Gyeoul, breathe.”

At the gentle hand caressing his back, Gyeoul finally let out a big breath. However, Gyeoul’s face still showed that his anxiety had not subsided.

“N-no… the, the light… the light was o-off…”

“Were you scared because I turned off the light in the room?”

Yuhyeon easily understood Gyeoul’s stuttering words. As Gyeoul focused on Yuhyeon’s gentle touch on his back, his unpleasantly racing heartbeat gradually returned to normal.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were scared of it.”

“N-no… it-it’s not like that… w-why is Sunbae apologizing…”

“Because I turned off the light.”

“N-no… i-it’s fine, don’t apologize. Take it back quickly.”

Yuhyeon let out a small laugh at the sight of Gyeoul, who was pouting and urging him to quickly take back his apology.

“Are you hurt anywhere? I heard a loud thud.”

“No, quickly… take it back…”

Yuhyeon lightly ignored Gyeoul’s words and pulled up the cuff of his pants, revealing a red mark on his knee.

“You’re bruised.”

As Yuhyeon gently rubbed the reddened knee with a careful touch, Gyeoul pulled his pant leg back down.

“Hey, are you a pervert? Why, why, did you suddenly lift up my pants.”

“Anyone who saw would think I was trying to take them off.”

After chiding him, Yuhyeon left the room again and came back in with an ointment in his hand. As if intending to apply it himself, Yuhyeon sat on the edge of the bed and tried to pull up Gyeoul’s pant leg again.

“I-I’ll do it.”

Yuhyeon obediently handed the ointment to Gyeoul. Gyeoul pulled his pant leg up to his knee and rubbed the ointment on the bruise.

“Lee Gyeoul, how come you don’t have any hair on your legs.”

“Don’t look…”

“You say don’t look, but I’ve already seen everything.”

As if embarrassed, Gyeoul quickly applied the ointment and pulled his pant leg back down to hide his leg.

“Are you really a pervert, or what.”

“I’d feel less wronged if I were called a pervert after actually taking off your pants.”

“Hey, why do you keep talking about taking off my pants. I’m, I’m not taking them off.”

“Who said anything about taking them off? Seeing you talk nonsense, you’re still drunk.”

“I’m not drunk. I’m not angry, and I don’t want to hit anyone, so I’m not drunk.”

Yuhyeon tilted his head and stared at Gyeoul as if he had heard something strange.

“Lee Gyeoul, people don’t normally get angry or hit people just because they’re drunk.”

“N-no… but they definitely did…”

“Who did.”

“What?”

“Who gets angry and hits people when they drink like that.”

“N-no… it’s nothing…”

“You don’t have to say if you don’t want to, but hitting someone because you’re drunk isn’t normal. You know that, right?”

Is that so. I didn’t really know.

Gyeoul couldn’t bring himself to answer honestly. For Gyeoul, who had become all too accustomed to it as just a part of his normal daily life, it fell within the category of normal.

“Lee Gyeoul, answer me.”

“…I d-don’t… n-no, I know. Yes, I know… I get it…”

At the words Gyeoul mumbled out, Yuhyeon rubbed his brow.

“I don’t want to care, but I keep finding myself caring.”

“…”

“Get some sleep. Your face is still red.”

“The… the light…”

“Yeah, I won’t turn it off.”

Yuhyeon turned on a small lamp that was on the nightstand next to the bed and turned to leave. Gyeoul’s eyelids, weighed down by the alcohol, kept drooping, and he eventually couldn’t fight it anymore and fell asleep. He didn’t know how long he had been asleep, but when he opened his eyes again, Yuhyeon was lying next to him. Gyeoul turned his body to the side and carefully studied Yuhyeon’s face, whose eyes were closed. His gaze followed along the long eyelashes, past the high nose bridge that contributed to his Western features, and stopped on his moderately red lips. Gyeoul couldn’t take his eyes off those lips and wet his own with the tip of his tongue. This was the first time he had ever stared at Yuhyeon’s face for so long.

The sound of Gyeoul’s pounding heart seemed to echo in the room at the fact that the first thing he saw upon waking was Yuhyeon. Gyeoul himself couldn’t find the answer as to when he had started to become so absorbed by Yuhyeon. The desire to shout ‘I like you’ to Yuhyeon kept trying to climb up his throat.

“Are you done looking now?”

Yuhyeon, who had opened his eyes at some point, spoke in his usual soft, low voice.

“I wasn’t look… no, I’m not done looking yet.”

Gyeoul thought, what’s the point of hiding his feelings now, and decided to reveal them honestly. Yuhyeon’s eyebrows shot up, as if Gyeoul’s answer was unexpected, but then his deep-set eyes curved pleasantly. At his smiling eyes, Gyeoul had to bite his lips, feeling as if the words of confession stuck in his throat would pop out.

“Are you sober now?”

“Huh? Yes…”

Gyeoul, barely coming to his senses at Yuhyeon’s question, answered.

“What about the others?”

“The others? They left a while ago.”

“Already?”

“Already? The sun’s rising outside right now.”

“What?”

Surprised, Gyeoul sat up. He picked up his phone, which must have been placed on the nightstand by Yuhyeon, and checked the time.

Me, sleeping out.

Gyeoul, who had never once spent a night away from home, kicked off the blanket with a flustered look and got up from his spot. Fortunately, there were no messages from home. Gyeoul didn’t know how his foster parents would react if they found out, but he didn’t have a good feeling about it.

“Sunbae, I’m leaving.”

“Let’s go, I’ll take you.”

“N-no, it’s okay.”

“Really?”

“Uh… no…”

Yuhyeon grabbed his car keys first and headed for the door. Gyeoul glanced once at the neatly cleaned living room and followed Yuhyeon outside. He got into the now quite familiar car and naturally fastened his seatbelt. Yuhyeon’s car left the parking lot and drove smoothly on the road towards Gyeoul’s house. Gyeoul stole glances at Yuhyeon’s side profile as he drove, and soon began to stare at him openly, as if he had no intention of hiding it.

“You’re going to burn a hole through my face.”

“It won’t get holes from something like this.”

“What is it you want to say.”

Yuhyeon, who had already noticed Gyeoul’s constantly twitching lips, asked.

“You know…”

“Yes. What is it.”

“Sunbae, is it still, not okay for me to like you?”

“That’s a sudden question.”

“Just answer me.”

“Yeah. It’s not okay.”

Fuck.

“Don’t curse again.”

“You tell me not to like you, you tell me not to curse, what am I allowed to do? And I was cursing in my head.”

Gyeoul’s pouting lips expressed his full dissatisfaction. Yuhyeon just let a smile spread across his lips and didn’t give any answer. Yuhyeon’s car stopped in front of Gyeoul’s house. When Gyeoul didn’t get out right away, Yuhyeon looked at him with a slightly puzzled expression. Gyeoul, as if he had finally made up his mind, nodded once and pulled Yuhyeon’s face towards him with both hands. He pressed his own lips against Yuhyeon’s, the lips that had been catching his eye ever since he woke up in bed, and then pulled away with a peck.

“Sunbae, goodbye.”

Without a moment to check Yuhyeon’s expression, Gyeoul turned around, quickly got out of the car, and entered his house as if he were running away. Gyeoul pressed down hard on his chest, his heart pounding as if he had just run a hundred-meter dash.

He didn’t say not to kiss him. It’s fine. Yeah. It’s fine.

Gyeoul, who returned home around the time he would normally wake up in his bed, climbed the second-floor stairs with quieter steps than ever. Fortunately, the living room was peacefully illuminated only by the bright sunlight streaming through the window. Gyeoul entered his room, went straight into the bathroom, threw off his clothes, stepped into the shower booth, and turned on the cold water over his head. Too embarrassed to face his own reflection in the mirror, he doused his flushed face and body with cold water.

Am I still half-asleep? What did I just do.

Standing under the cold water, Gyeoul carefully placed a hand on his lips. As if he could still feel Yuhyeon’s soft lips, he recalled how he had run away from the car without even being able to properly look Yuhyeon in the eye.

He’s not mad, is he? What if he is? Should I apologize right now?

Gyeoul, at a loss with his emotions constantly riding a rollercoaster, stood under the water flowing from the showerhead for a long time. Just before his body grew cold, Gyeoul turned off the water, stepped out of the shower booth, changed his clothes, and sat on the edge of his bed. He thought about whether he should call him, but it seemed like he would look ridiculous contacting him just to say he kissed him.

Well, it’s not like you need permission to kiss someone. Yeah, well, it can happen.

Gyeoul sat at his desk, trying hard to rationalize his actions. It was still a little early to go to his part-time job, so he took out the unfinished short story manuscript to work on his assignment in advance. However, Gyeoul couldn’t concentrate easily, as the recurring thought of Yuhyeon’s lips noisily stirred his mind. In the end, he couldn’t write more than a few letters of the novel before it was time for his part-time job, and he had to leave the house and head to the cafe.

“Gyeoul, are you hot?”

The boss asked, seeing Gyeoul’s face, which had been flushed all day. Even while working, the incident with Yuhyeon kept popping into his mind, making him blush dozens of times.

“…It’s a little hot today.”

Gyeoul couldn’t confess what happened with Yuhyeon, so he just mumbled that it was because the weather was hot.

He didn’t even know how he got through his part-time job. After finishing work, Gyeoul got off at the bus stop in front of his house and walked home along the darkened street. Gyeoul was working on his assignment, trying to continue the novel he had only written a few letters of in the morning, when he heard the door open and turned around.

“Are you studying?”

“I was doing my assignment.”

Gyeoul subtly pushed the paper he was writing the novel on to the side and turned completely towards his mother.

“Mrs. Loum called to have dinner next week.”

“…Is Father going too?”

“Of course, their whole family will be there too, so you have to do really well, Gyeoul.”

What on earth do I have to do well? Is she worried I’ll go and flip the dinner table or something?

Gyeoul, who had heard the same words a few days ago, couldn’t quite understand what his mother meant. However, only after repeating a soulless response that he understood and would do well did his mother go back down to the first floor. Gyeoul let out a deep sigh and laid his body, which had become tired in an instant from a single conversation with his mother, on the bed.