TYND 110

I’m worried about Rothy’s strong affection for his comrades.

When I go out alternating with Rothy, they approach one by one hesitantly and intimately ask things like “What’s the name of that flower?” They talk about flowers so much that I can tell Rothy really loves flowers. Thinking about it, I noticed many flowers along the path to the barracks.

I picked one flower of each type and gave them to Rothy as gifts.

Rothy smiled brightly and asked me the names of the flowers, but I didn’t know any except dandelions, so I just gave a curt answer asking what’s the point of knowing their names.

I decided to give up on the second living magic stone.

Today, for the first time in four years, a test subject who had survived over a week died. Rothy cried so much that his eyes became red, and Chi-chi is struggling to comfort him.

My abandonment came too late.

Because of an old man’s foolish attachment, countless children died.

May no one forgive me.

Since yesterday, Rothy has had a fever and is completely bedridden.

He’s a child who gets sick every few days, but this time he’s been particularly whiny.

But thinking about it now, it might not have been just whining.

Even when I changed the cold towel, he went, “Hooing-eeing,” and even when I fed him porridge, he went, “Hoo-eeing.”

In the past, he would have just blinked weakly and obediently eaten.

Come to think of it, Rothy is already fifteen years old. Is this what adolescence is like?

He might become even more whiny in the future. I should prepare myself. Raising a child is difficult.

The war seems like it will end soon.

I have committed too great a sin. Since my sins have burdened others with guilt, I will carry it all with me.

But what about Rothy?

I naturally planned to die with Rothy. Regardless of whether Rothy wanted to live or die.

But seeing Rothy actually wanting to live shakes my heart.

How did this child come to love the world?

Having only gone between the research lab, experimental lab, and bloody battlefields his whole life.

From those terrible scenes, he found beautiful specks faint as dust.

My head knows I must take Rothy with me, but my heart refuses Rothy’s death.

Thinking about the child’s future, I considered several people.

I absolutely cannot hand him over to Plant. Diam wouldn’t try to use the living magic stone, but he’s too weak. Romeri would widely publicize Rothy’s existence. That would expose my sins while creating new sinners. Ken’s mental state has been unstable lately, so no. Droid would immediately start making another living magic stone. What about Sen To Milina? But that princess is too young to take responsibility for a child.

Is Theon Dert Palsen the only option after all?

Rothy happens to like him too.

Though he seems to like him too much.

That man doesn’t even know of his existence, yet it’s been unwavering devotion for six years.

I investigated Theon.

I thought he was cold-blooded, but surprisingly his subordinates speak well of him.

There’s even a servant who followed him to the battlefield despite being told it was unnecessary.

House Palsen is a wealthy ducal family ruling the vast North and has traditionally had no desire for power. Securing an archmage probably won’t bring severe scrutiny from central nobles. If they agree to tribute magic stones from the North’s great mines to the imperial family, it should be sufficiently tolerated.

Plant will be wary, but the compassionate crown prince will handle that side.

One concern is that Theon is quite emotionally dried up.

I wonder if he can properly care for a sensitive child who tears up just seeing small dandelions blooming in a field.

It’s uncertain whether he’ll even take him to the North in the first place.

No… no.

He’ll definitely take Rothy.

After exchanging words with Rothy even a few times, there will be no way not to take him.

No matter how dried up a man’s heart may be.

I’m troubled about how to dispose of this research journal.

I hope it will be decoded while also hoping it won’t be. But they’ll probably decode it. Harie Girin, who succeeded the previous leader, is a very tenacious and stubborn person.

It might take about three years.

Whoever decodes this journal will surely understand what I’m trying to say.

The problem is, if Archduke Palsen became Rothy’s guardian as planned, he would check the decoded version first.

I don’t want Rothy to see this research journal.

By this time, Rothy will have somewhat accepted that Yolone Sirin was a great villain.

I don’t want to confuse the child.

I hope he doesn’t miss me or think of me.

So finally, I hope he completely forgets me later.

The reason I’m leaving this research journal is not to show Rothy, but to reveal how painful a life Rothy lived and how much of a sinner I am.

I’ll end the journal with this.

…I can’t put down the pen.

Rothy is examining the two ropes I prepared with Chi-chi, both looking with very bright, curious eyes. This time too, this child will say he wants to live… I will advise the child to stay close to Theon when I leave.

Once I put down this pen, this will be the last time with this child.

May you not forgive me.

For a sinner, I’ve had too much time to prepare for farewell.

Now I really must put down the pen.

Theon closed the last page and understood Harie’s words about there being ‘no room to continue the research.’

This wasn’t a living magic stone research journal.

Even though the author kept calling it a research journal until the end, he probably left without ever realizing it.

This was a Rothy child-rearing diary.

‘I really don’t want to show this.’

Harie Girin wanted to show this journal to Rothy. That’s why he handed over the decoded version in Rothy’s presence. Being a mage himself, he probably empathized with the mage Yolone Sirin’s position. His desire to say that your teacher wasn’t entirely vicious was clear.

But Theon was different.

He could understand that Yolone Sirin loved Rothy, but the method of that love was very harsh. He was a child abuser and serial killer that no words could disguise.

He didn’t want to show Rothy this decoded version.

But since Rothy already knew of the decoded version’s existence, there was no way to avoid showing it.

Just in time, Rothy, who had just washed and was fluffy, came over from the Grand Duchess’s bedroom to Theon’s bedroom. Rothy jumped onto the bed with Chi-chi in his arms.

“Theon, did you already finish reading it?”

“Yes.”

“You must have been so curious… But why do you look like that? Your brow is incredibly furrowed. That’s not your usual wrinkle. It’s almost level 6.”

“You’ve graded my brow wrinkles?”

“Yeah. When your brow is smooth, it’s level 0. When I was about to fall, it was level 3. Right now it’s level 6. This is the completely serious extreme anger wrinkle I see maybe once or twice a year.”

Theon found Rothy so adorable that his wrinkles reduced to about level 3.

Rothy wriggled into Theon’s embrace, sat facing him, and gently pressed and smoothed the wrinkles on his brow with his fingers.

Theon’s brow smoothed out cleanly as if there had never been any wrinkles.

“Did you not like the research journal’s contents?”

“I’d rather you not read it.”

“I understand. You’re worried I might recall when I was experimented on…?”

“……”

“I wasn’t planning to read it right away anyway. Right now my head is completely full with other magical theory work to think about the living magic stone experiment process. I’ll read it later when I’m an adult.”

“Alright.”

Theon didn’t tell him that this booklet was a child-rearing diary with not a single technical term about experimental processes appearing even once.

“Let’s sleep now. I’m so sleepy.”

Rothy rubbed his soft cheek against Theon’s shoulder. Theon stroked Rothy’s hair and nape, then patted his small back.

Squeak… the ferret, getting squished between them, poked out its head. The ferret naturally climbed up Theon’s arm, escaped from between them, and headed to its cradle.

It was currently in the cradle grooming its flattened fur, but when bedtime came, it would definitely crawl back onto the bed with a purr.

Theon embraced Rothy’s small body. Warm and soft.

The future Rothy had been firmer than this young body, but still quite soft.

‘Yolone Sirin probably didn’t hope for Rothy and me to have that kind of relationship.’

Yolone Sirin would have wanted Theon to become a guardian and patron, but probably never imagined he’d go one step further.

What could be done?

The future doesn’t always proceed in the direction one wants.

And two years later…

“You’re going to put that in there?”

“Yes.”

“You know what. I think it might be physically impossible… That’s too big and I’m too small. Let’s just do what we’ve been doing and kiss…”

“……”

Theon would come to painfully realize anew that the future doesn’t proceed only as one wishes.

These were difficulties he couldn’t even imagine yet.

Two years passed in an instant.

Fortunately, the emperor didn’t raise the adult age to twenty-one, and Rothy dissolved the trimule immediately when New Year’s Day, January 1st arrived.

The clock that Theon hadn’t used even once for two years melted away in the dissolving trimule.

“It’ll take time to completely melt. Go to sleep, Rothy.”

“I should sleep, but I’m too excited to fall asleep.”

“I see. Your heart is really pounding.”

Theon soothed and put to sleep Rothy, who was as excited as a child the night before a picnic.