TYND 87
by Cherry“Can you tell me apart from my master?”
“You were the archmage who suddenly dropped to his knees to look at the dandelions.”
“……”
“You were the archmage who held a young mountain hare that barely escaped a wildfire and wept.”
“……”
“You were the archmage who tossed healing potions to a nameless soldier and rushed back to the camp.”
“You were the archmage who sometimes stood still after a battle, just staring silently at the sky.”
“……”
“I know. Now I can tell the difference.”
It was more a ‘finally’ than ‘now’. Why hadn’t he realised sooner? Split personality? No, that was just Rothy.
The Yolone Sirin who made him frown by standing around dazed instead of helping with post-battle cleanup was a boy who could only steal a moment to lose himself in the sky because he couldn’t even look around outside combat.
That irritating bastard who kept hovering nearby when the troops gathered after battles was a lonely boy who wanted to exchange even a single word with those he’d formed one-sided bonds with.
Theon had repeatedly given the boy the cold shoulder when he needed help most.
What if he’d noticed sooner?
To be fair, neither him nor anyone else had the luxury of giving their attention to another during the war. That was why everyone had overlooked the odd things about the old archmage. Some laughed them off behind his back while some clicked their tongues and walked away in contempt.
If only they’d paid a bit more attention, things might’ve turned out differently.
“You really don’t hate me…?”
“Not even a little, Rothy.”
His voice cracked. Steadying his voice, he decided he shouldn’t show him losing control in front of Rothy.
“I like you. If anything, I’ve come to like you even more.”
“……”
Rothy blinked in disbelief… then seeing the sincerity in Theon’s face, he murmured softly.
“Master… was wrong.”
“Your master was wrong about many things.”
“It seems like it… I thought Master… was always right…”
“That man did many cruel things to you.”
“But I’m not trying to defend or anything… you know that right? I think my master only said those things during the war because he was worried I’d get close to you. I liked you too much… He said you wouldn’t help me, you’d cast me aside, and you’d hate me. He had to say that so I wouldn’t make advances on you…”
Even while claiming he wasn’t defending the man, he clung to excuses for that cruel man with everything he had.
“And even after the war ended… the reason he told me not to reveal the truth… I can see it now when I look at you, Theon.”
Rothy reached out and placed that small hand with the frail, thin wrist on Theon’s cheek.
“Because once you know the truth, you’d feel guilty like this…”
“……”
“Master liked you too. Chungnip, Zey, Xeon, and Ultje… Even though he always cursed at Dierm, he actually liked him too… He just didn’t want any of you to feel guilty.”
“That’s a very generous interpretation.”
“Think about it, Theon…. Master… he died leaving behind a will saying he’d carry all the sins himself, didn’t he…?”
“Master let me live. He could’ve put a noose around my neck, but……”
“Nothing killing you isn’t something that deserves praise.”
Theon wanted to give in to Rothy all the time, but not on this. Rothy needed to break free from his master. Only when he acknowledged that Yolone Sirin was a bad person would his world open up anew.
“I… don’t really know… I just… don’t want you to be too sad or guilty… and I don’t want you to be consumed by hatred either…”
“Very well. I understand what you mean.”
Theon had checked the time while they talked. It was time for Rothy to sleep, so he laid him down on the bed. Rothy however, stretched his hands towards him with a sleepy whine like a child fighting sleep.
“Do you really understand…? What I’m trying to say…”
“Yes.”
“Then was I trying to say…?”
“That you’re very loveable.”
Rothy cocked his head to the side.
“I don’t think you understand…”
Rothy’s thin arms that were wrapped loosely around Theon gradually lost its strength. Unable to fight sleep any longer, his eyelids fell shut. Theon watched his eyelashes flutter slightly like he was trying to force them open before saying gently,
“Sleep now. We’ll talk again tomorrow.”
“Mmhm…”
Came an answer that was practically sleep talk. He wondered if Rothy would remember any of this come morning. Theon laid Rothy’s arms neatly by his sides and pulled the blanket up to his chest.
Scree…
Chi-chi wriggled in under the blanket and Theon gave its small head a stroke as well.
“Thank you for staying by Rothy’s side.”
Scree—
It sounded like it was asking why he’d say something so obvious. What a relief that at least this small creature was there by Rothy’s side…… In the end, Theon stayed by the bed well into the night, unable to make himself leave.
***
“Rothy.”
Theon touched the small shoulder of Rothy who was lying face down.
Rothy… I understand how you feel, but you mustn’t skip your meals.”
“……”
“You need to eat well to become an adult.”
The small frame flinched at the mention of ‘adult’. Theon waited and continued to stroke Rothy’s shoulder and back. The boy, who’d been sniffling with his face buried in the pillow, squirmed a little before turning his head slightly. His eyes were red, with large tears clinging at the corners, his lips formed an upside-down triangle, and a small nut had appeared on his chin.
Rothy was so adorable and loveable that a laugh almost escaped Theon, but he knew he absolutely couldn’t in this situation, so he deliberately forced his face to stay serious.
“I understand your grief. I feel bitter towards His Imperial Majesty as well.”
“Riiight? That’s right. hnnnng~”
Rothy held back his whining and threw himself at Theon. Since it was an uncomfortable position for both, Theon put his hands under Rothy’s armpits, lifted him up, and held him in his arms. Wrinkles formed on the bridge of his nose at the feather-light weight. Rothy then wriggled into a comfortable position and buried his face completely in Theon’s chest.
Theon began patting the boy’s small back.
Rothy had been in low spirits all day since hearing the news that morning. He’d managed to eat breakfast only because the news came just after the meal, but he skipped lunch, refused any snacks, and now he was about to skip dinner too. He just lay in bed, sniffling, doing nothing except cuddling with Chi-chi.
Rather than scold Rothy or force him to eat, Theon tried to empathise with his sadness and despair. But missing two meals in a row was something he couldn’t allow.
“You’ve to eat plenty to grow quickly. If you keep starving yourself like this, your body will stay small. That’d make His Imperial Majesty think ‘seventeen-year-olds are really still a child’.”
This was what had crushed Rothy’s spirit the entire day.
| [Today’s Brief Update from the Imperial Capital! Emperor Dierm Is Raising the Age of Adulthood to Eighteen!] Well, seventeen did feel rather young. Excluding the special circumstances of the Human-Demon War, life expectancy had increased significantly. And this editor supports the change. But will today’s seventeen-year-old boys and girls agree? I’m half excited and half worried about what impact this policy will have 🙂 |
This brief news item had appeared in the morning paper they’d been reading together after breakfast. Theon already knew about the policy change ahead of time, but Rothy was learning about it for the first time.
Clatter
He was so shocked even dropped the necklace he was about to put on Chi-chi. Then his eyes welled up instantly with tears as he looked up at Theon. When he nodded in affirmation, despair filled Rothy’s pale face.
Last year, Rothy had made his dazzling debut in the North on the ninth day of the fourth month. They’d chosen that meaningful date as Rothy’s birthday, and now only five days remained to that day. He’d been counting down the days, looking forward to turning seventeen and becoming an adult, only to have the age of adulthood raised all of a sudden.
For Rothy, it was devastating and despairing news. He hadn’t left the bed since. Now he lifted his face from where it’d been buried against Theon’s chest.
“I was really looking forward to turning seventeen… why did Dierm decide that without even getting the consent of all sixteen-year-olds…?”
“That’s right. He’s a terrible emperor. Practically a tyrant.”
“Hnnnngg…”
Since Theon had beaten him to criticising Dierm, Rothy made a face that said he was being too harsh and nestled against Theon again. Still holding Rothy, Theon stepped off the bed and walked to the table where dinner had been set.
Screeeing!
Chi-chi, worn out from comforting Rothy all day, quickly scrambled up Theon’s leg and climbed onto him. When Theon lifted the tray cover, steam rose up in thick curls. As delicious smells wafted up, Chi-chi left Rothy’s wellbeing to Theon and dug into its own meal. The weasel knew exactly which food was his, served in his dedicated bowl.
Theon sat down with Rothy still in his arms. He then tore off a small piece of warm, soft bread, dipped it into the soup, and brought it to Rothy’s lips. The boy looked at the bread with mournful eyes, then opened his mouth slightly. When Theon placed the bread inside, he closed his small lips and chewed quietly.
He kept going, feeding Rothy roasted vegetables, meat, and water with gentle patience. After a few bites, Rothy seemed to recover some energy and started squirming to get down from Theon’s lap. He didn’t want to let him go, but Rothy wriggled insistently, so he had no choice. Rothy sat down across from him, face slightly flushed, and picked up his fork and spoon.
“You know, Theon… I’m sorry for being childish… I must have gone mad for a moment.”
“That wasn’t childish enough for me. Can you indulge me a bit more?”
“What’re you talking about… I’ve been acting like a child all day, haven’t I? It’s embarrassing. I’m not usually like that…”
It’d been over a year since Rothy arrived at the Falsen estate.
“I’m quiet, well-behaved, and obedient… Just think of me as a stone…”
The boy who used to pretend to be a stone, trying to exist quietly without being noticed, had become much more prone to acting childishly. To Theon, that was a very satisfying development. It meant Rothy had become that much more comfortable here.
Theon used to be someone who frowned when children acted childishly, but now he’d become someone who thought children should act like children.
If he knew this thought, Rothy would say ‘I’m not a child’.