UPLB Ch 1

‘Be quiet.’

Choi Sungbin leaned back on the grimy-smelling sofa and looked around the noisy bar. The bar, which he’d heard was rented for the Public Administration department’s opening general meeting, was the same now as it was when he was a freshman.

Since the bar was run by a department senior, reserving it was easy, and honestly, they had probably put some unspoken pressure on people.

In this country where there was freedom of choice, the notion that they had to go to the same bar every time for the first or second round was unreasonable, but that was just his own thought. The department people were different. Because they didn’t have to worry about what others thought, they were louder than usual. Drinking games that were normally played cautiously were permitted here.

Although it had been rented out, it was an ordinary bar within a typical university district. It was dark like a cave and smelled of urine. It was a normal bar where the loud noise and blaring music made you get drunk faster.

Unfortunately, Choi Sungbin did not drink alcohol. Not only did he not enjoy it, but he couldn’t hold his liquor well. Thankfully, no one pressured him to drink. The car he drove to and from school served as a good excuse.

Instead of avoiding the boring gathering, Choi Sungbin took a sip of water. His classmate Seokjun, who was on the executive committee yet was staggering around getting drinks from here and there instead of managing the event, wobbled over to him.

Seokjun placed a hand on Choi Sungbin’s shoulder to get his attention. His hand, which he said had played baseball through elementary, middle, and up to his second year of high school, was as rough as could be.

Thanks to his characteristic persistence, he had been able to get into Korea University’s Department of Public Administration after three attempts, including his time in the military. He also had a boisterous and energetic personality, making him well-liked among the upper and lowerclassmen.

Although they weren’t the same age, he had told Choi Sungbin to speak casually to him, so they became friends. He was the person Choi Sungbin could say he was closest to in the department.

“Hey guys. Isn’t he handsome? He’s the top face of our department, acknowledged by the professor.”

If he was going to get drunk, he should have just gotten drunk gracefully; was there any reason to drag him into it? Choi Sungbin furrowed his brow slightly before quickly averting his gaze. He hated things getting troublesome.

The freshmen were already sitting there with awkward faces, so he thought how much of an eyesore a senior prattling on about whether someone was handsome or not must be.

Choi Sungbin acted like a nice person. To put it nicely, it was pretense; to put it badly, it was hypocrisy.

“Kim Seokjun, stop it. You’re making the kids uncomfortable.”

“Why—. It’s a good way to get to know each other.”

Twisting his shoulder, Choi Sungbin shook off Seokjun’s hand. He held out a beer bottle to a freshman who was just sitting there, cautiously observing the situation.

“You drink beer, right?”

“Ah, yes……. Soju still doesn’t taste good to me.”

“Everyone thinks it tastes bad. I don’t know why they all drink it.”

“You’re not drinking, sunbaenim?”

“Not really. I can’t hold my liquor well, either.”

Choi Sungbin gazed at the freshman sitting across from him. A twenty-year-old freshman, who had just turned twenty, who tried her best to put on makeup, do her hair, and diligently try to hide her youthfulness with her clothes.

She went “Ahh—,” and then sipped from her cup. Ahem, after clearing her throat, she wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. She couldn’t seem to lift her head properly, as if its default angle was about 45 degrees.

“Do you have any seniors you’re close to?”

“No. Not yet…….”

“Well, that can happen. There’s still plenty of time, so get to know people slowly.”

“Ah, yes…….”

Choi Sungbin let out a soft breath to cool himself down. He didn’t enjoy alcohol, and he disliked chaotic and noisy places even more.

He had only been to a club once or twice around the age of twenty. Even so, being dragged here just because his close classmate was on the executive committee was quite an ordeal.

The atmosphere at the table was also a mess. If there were some rowdy seniors around, the freshmen would probably have a decent time. But this was just… He could leave his seat and no one would even notice.

“……”

Choi Sungbin’s gaze fell upon a man sitting in the corner. He was gloomy and sullen. His overgrown bangs covered his eyes, so his face wasn’t even visible.

Was there someone like this here?

If he hadn’t been wearing the Public Administration department jacket, he wouldn’t have even known he was in the same department. He didn’t know who had invited this man, either. He was just consuming alcohol and snacks by himself.

There was no one who approached him to talk, either.

‘Is he a freshman? Or a returning student dreaming of a new school life?’

Whatever it was, it was none of his business. If it had been a woman, he might have considered striking up a conversation, but there was no reason to initiate one with a gloomy man.

Choi Sungbin picked up his cup to drink some water instead of alcohol. The water stains on the stainless steel cup made him lose what little appetite he had left.

Is there any water? He looked around, but there were only empty water pitchers. It’s not like everyone was drinking only water instead of alcohol.

Even if there was, he wouldn’t be able to drink it because he’d feel grimy. Just as he was thinking he should go out and buy some water, a water pitcher suddenly filled his vision. Choi Sungbin’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh……”

A long exclamation escaped him without him realizing. The one who handed him the water was the man he had just judged as gloomy and sullen a mere ten seconds ago.

Taking the water pitcher, Choi Sungbin tilted his head in a nod of thanks. Then he poured water into the cup teeming with water stains. After filling it with a moderate amount of gushing water, he soothed his dry mouth with a sip.

Even if it was a water-stained cup, it was better than alcohol. Though it was a little unsettling.

“What year are you?”

After wetting his lips, Choi Sungbin asked the man. He wasn’t interested, but he couldn’t be so cold as to not ask anything of the man who had even been considerate enough to get him water.

The man stated his student ID year and age in a very small voice. It was a quiet but fairly gentle voice.

The man was 25, older than he thought. He was a full three student ID years older than him, who was 22. Honestly, it was pathetic.

‘Really… at that age, does he still want to come to the opening general meeting.’

It was cringeworthy enough for him, who had come back to school after the army, to come to the opening general meeting. But this man was even worse.

For a man whose student ID year was far higher than the freshmen’s, who didn’t seem to have any friends to speak of, to come to the opening general meeting felt like it went beyond cringeworthy to shameless.

But Choi Sungbin curved his eyes as if he were being kind.

“So you’re a sunbaenim.”

“……”

“Shall I pour you some alcohol?”

The man didn’t seem to want anything from Choi Sungbin. Honestly, he had no idea why he was sitting here. If he wanted to seize power within the department, he could have gathered a few clueless freshmen and sat there shooting the breeze, but he wasn’t doing that either.

Nor was he joining his peers of the same student ID year, who would make even the executive committee members uncomfortable, to laugh and chat. He was just sitting there quietly, holding his ground. That was a bit strange.

Offering alcohol was just a polite gesture. The man was only pouring drinks for himself. He wouldn’t ask for any. After all, he had refused even when a freshman was anxiously trying to share a glass with him.

“Give me soju.”

Surprisingly, he held out his glass confidently. Choi Sungbin’s lips curled up before he quickly schooled his expression. The man who wouldn’t even accept the role of a senior from a freshman was now making a demand of him.

‘The nerve. Just because he’s a senior.’

He barely managed to control his expression, feeling like a sneer was about to escape. He poured an amount of alcohol into the man’s glass that wouldn’t hurt his pride. He picked up his water cup to make a toast, but the man gulped down the alcohol by himself.

Only then did Choi Sungbin realize that the soju bottle next to the man was empty. So he really did want a drink.

There was nothing more to say to the man. Choi Sungbin fiddled with his phone without any sincerity. Should I just go home? There’s nothing more to see here anyway. While he was blatantly feigning disinterest, a slender arm wrapped around his shoulder, and he turned his head. It was Hyena, a year his senior.

“Hey. What are you doing here? How boring.”

At the touch of her long, nail-art-adorned index finger poking his cheek, Choi Sungbin let out a faint smile. Thanks to that, the freshmen and the old-fashioned senior sitting around them all became uninteresting people, but Choi Sungbin didn’t bother to correct her.

“Let’s go for a smoke.”

“I didn’t buy any.”

“I’ll give you one of mine. Hurry up and come out.”

Unable to refuse Hyena’s voice, which dragged out with a nasal tone, Choi Sungbin got up. Hyena naturally moved to his side and linked her arm with his. The university world was so small, and even while being swayed and troubled by this and that rumor, she still resolutely linked arms with him.

As he was leaving the bar, he read the gazes of a group that was whispering while looking at him. Choi Sungbin stared back at them openly. Five or six seniors were sitting around, glancing at him and Hyena.

Among them was Changsoo, Hyena’s ex-boyfriend. They’ll be talking smack behind our backs. Choi Sungbin snorted.

The moment they were outside, Hyena pushed Choi Sungbin into an alley. Choi Sungbin quietly watched Hyena as she smoked her cigarette.

“You’re not smoking?”

“Hmm……, give me the one you were smoking, noona.”

“Hey. Stop trying to be flirty. It’s seriously annoying.”

Hyena glared. Choi Sungbin smiled, relaxed. A damp cigarette was pushed between his slightly parted lips. She tells me not to flirt, but she still puts a cigarette in my mouth.

“Did you see that bastard earlier? What did he do right to have the fucking nerve to show up at the opening general meeting again?”

Hyena lit a new cigarette as she bad-mouthed her ex-boyfriend. With one hand behind his back, Choi Sungbin exhaled a long stream of smoke.

“Yeah. He was glaring as I passed by.”

“Fucking asshole……. What right does he have? Does he have anything to say after two-timing?”

“You slept with me, too.”

Choi Sungbin took a few more drags from the cigarette before flicking it with his fingers to knock off the ash. He flicked it into a can that had been set out as an ashtray.

Silence followed the bullseye. He didn’t mean to make a point. He belatedly shifted his gaze. Hyena was stubbing out her cigarette on the building’s outer wall. After tossing it aside carelessly, she took a large step closer.

“Sungbin-ah.”

“Yeah.”

No words came back. Hyena’s hand wrapped around his shoulder and pulled him in. Their lips immediately crashed together. Choi Sungbin parted his lips and sucked on the lips pressing and rubbing against his.

Swallowing a ragged breath, they moved deeper into the alley.

They kissed deeply, groping each other’s bodies. Choi Sungbin intertwined his fingers with the hand that was messing up his hair and brought it down. He adjusted his posture so she could wrap her arms around his waist.

Mwah, mwah……, after a few short pecks, the sound of wet smacking echoed again.

“Do we need to buy condoms?”

Hyena asked in a wet voice. They exchanged words through their lips, which were barely touching.

“There are some at the hotel. But go to the convenience store if you need to. You’re going to buy beer anyway, noona.”

After finishing his sentence, Choi Sungbin stuck out his tongue, parting their lips and delving inside. The tip of his moist tongue was just about to make contact.

“Ahem……!”

At the sound of someone clearing their throat to give a hint, their rubbing lips parted. He wrapped his arms around Hyena’s head as she buried herself in his embrace. He turned his head with cold eyes.

Here comes another damn rumor.

He rubbed his wet lips with the palm of his hand.

“……”

“……”

“……Ha.”

Having identified the person, Choi Sungbin couldn’t hold back a scoff this time. In that brief moment, Hyena fled as if escaping, hiding at the end of the alley in search of darkness.

Choi Sungbin stuck his hands in his pockets and came out. When he reached the entrance of the alley, the man was standing there silently. The senior who was three years older, the nameless man who had occupied a seat at the opening general meeting without knowing anyone and just sipped on his drink.

He had acted so gloomy that he wondered if there was something wrong with him, but surprisingly, seeing him outside, he was tall and looked perfectly fine. Although seeing him just standing there, it seemed he had no sense of propriety whatsoever.

“Please move. You have to give me a chance to leave.”

Choi Sungbin coolly walked past the man who was standing at the alley entrance.

Exiting the alley, he familiarly entered the building across from the bar.

It was a low, three-story building, and there was a restroom in the stairwell that no one used at night. It was a poorly managed building to begin with.

Entering the restroom, he checked his appearance in the broken mirror. A lipstick stain was smudged around his mouth.

He turned on the rusty faucet and wiped around his mouth. He kicked the stall door. Sometimes there was toilet paper, but not today. He roughly wiped his wet mouth with the back of his hand.

Should I head back soon? Not wanting to touch the doorknob, he kicked the bottom of the door to push it open.

“Jesus, you scared me.”

He thought his heart had stopped at the presence standing there motionlessly. The man he had parted from at the alley entrance was standing right in front of the restroom.

“What are you doing?”

There was no reason for the man to be here. This restroom was shared by offices where everyone had gone home, and a cafe and restaurant that closed early.

Choi Sungbin knew this place quite well, so the man’s presence was baffling. No matter how crowded the bar’s restroom was, there was no need to come all the way here.

Come to think of it, maybe the man himself was just getting on his nerves. He was disappointed that the flow of their tryst had been broken. Not that they were going to do the deed in an alley corner.

‘Annoying.’

Choi Sungbin scanned the man with an openly irritated expression. He was someone he had seen for the first time today. He had never even run into him while coming and going from the department building.

Or maybe he had just been invisible.

In a campus where people walked around dressed up as they were, or even if not, dressed to a certain standard, one could easily blend in and disappear dressed like that.

A man of monochrome.

That was how Choi Sungbin assessed the nameless senior.

The man suddenly threw a question at Choi Sungbin, who was shaking the water off his hands.

“Did you wipe your lips?”

“Yes, well.”

So nosy. Choi Sungbin answered without sincerity. Having nothing to wipe his wet hands on, he shook them dry with a grumble. He gave a nod and passed the senior.

“You.”

At the voice calling him, Choi Sungbin stopped in his tracks. Light seeped in from under the grimy window.

Outside the building, it was noisy and chaotic. The phone in his pocket buzzed. It was probably Hyena. Choi Sungbin took out his phone.

Sure enough, a call was coming from Hyena. He hesitated, holding the phone. It’s probably nothing important, so it should be fine to just answer it.

If I answer the phone, will he get the hint and leave? He’s getting on my nerves.

Just then, the man opened his mouth.

“You have a bad reputation among the guys. Stop doing things like that.”

Choi Sungbin decided not to answer the phone. A faint smile spread across his lips.

‘Did he come all this way just to spew bullshit?’

He clutched the repeatedly vibrating phone in his hand.

“What did I do?”

He asked back to the senior who couldn’t even look at him. Not even looking at him properly, yet he can’t distinguish between what should and shouldn’t be said.

The man spoke with surprising composure.

“Playing around with girls you’re not even dating.”

“Playing around is a two-way street. A one-way street is harassment.”

He already knew about the reputation he had among the guys, even without being told. He stole his classmates’ and seniors’ girlfriends, he was seen kissing someone, he changes girls as he pleases, he was seen frequenting motels with partners whose names always changed.

The women, for their part, liked him, but the men hated him. He was that typical kind of guy.

It had been like that since he was a student in a school uniform. He was never hurt or affected by the belittling words of pathetic guys calling him a pretty boy or a flirt.

The vibration stopped.

Hyena’s call was left as a missed call. A message came in soon after.

Where are you? I packed my stuff and left. I’m at the convenience store, I’ll buy cigarettes too. They didn’t have the condoms you use. Come to the convenience store behind the hotel.

It was time to end this pointless pissing contest.

Choi Sungbin was openly sarcastic.

“Did you follow me all the way here just to say this?”

“……”

“That’s impressive.”

Just because you have a mouth to speak doesn’t mean you should say useless things.

Choi Sungbin coolly walked past the man, who said nothing more. As he stepped onto the stairs, he answered the phone that rang once more.

“Yeah, I’m on my way there.”

The hotel, rented on a yearly basis because he hated cheap motels, was more than enough to spend a night.

He forced his heavy eyelids open. His body was tired from not getting a deep sleep. He tossed and turned on the bed.

Hyena, who had been lying next to him, sensed the movement and woke up.

“Umm.”

Hyena moved her head, burying her face in the pillow. Her long hair scattered in multiple directions like roots. She wrapped an arm around his waist and mumbled in a voice hoarse with sleep.

“……I want to sleep more, why are you up already. Let’s sleep more.”

Choi Sungbin turned to lie on his side. He brushed aside her fallen hair. Her upper body was completely exposed. With the tip of his index finger, he rubbed the nipple he had been sucking and biting all night. As he rolled it in his hand, it quickly hardened into shape.

“Noona, don’t you have class?”

“Gonna skip. You?”

“I’m going.”

Hyena, who had been burying her face in the pillow, finally peeked her eyes out. She glared at him, not hatefully. She pulled the blanket up to her shoulders.

Choi Sungbin sat up. He leaned back against the headboard.

“Go. So I can go to class too.”

“Can I come again after it’s over?”

He placed a hand on her long hair. Every time he toyed with it, the thin strands scattered over his hand. She said she’d bleached it then got lazy with the upkeep and dyed it black, but just a touch made the hair split. It probably needs to be cut. Just dyeing it black and growing it out didn’t seem like it would work.

He decided to swallow the words he wanted to say. He didn’t want to ruin the mood of someone with whom he’d spent a good night.

“I’m going home today.”

“Why go home when you have a place like this?”

“Home is more comfortable.”

“When are you going to take me to your home?”

Choi Sungbin let out a hollow laugh. Instead of answering, he lifted the covers and got up. He was naked but didn’t bother putting on a robe. Hyena, still under the covers, was the same.

He grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and drank.

“Water for me too—.”

Hyena said in a muffled voice. When he approached the bed and handed her the water, she finally sat up as well. Choi Sungbin moved his head from side to side, then rolled it in a circle. He did some light stretching.

“I’m going to go wash up and come out.”

“Okay. I’ll rest a little more, then wash up when you’re out.”

After drinking the water, Hyena flopped back onto the bed. She rolled around on the bed, making dying sounds.

“Uggghhh…….”

Leaving her voice behind him, Choi Sungbin headed to the bathroom.

📝

I should have changed my clothes before coming. Since they were the clothes from the day before, they felt somewhat grimy. If he had said he was going home and coming back, he felt like Hyena would have followed him no matter what, so they came to school together, and this mess happened.

Choi Sungbin sat on a bench, feeling the late winter wind. If he just hadn’t gone to the bar for the opening general meeting, he would have felt less grimy. He wanted to air out the smell of food and alcohol that had soaked into his clothes, but he felt like he would freeze to death before that.

If he were at home, he would have at least sprayed some perfume, but he hadn’t brought any to the hotel room.

Being outside, people he knew started acknowledging him from here and there. A group that usually hung out together, juniors of his, glanced his way before approaching and bowing their heads.

“We didn’t get to greet you at the opening general meeting yesterday. Hello.”

Since it was a department where it was good to mind your connections, he was on good terms with both seniors and juniors. Just because it was the Department of Public Administration didn’t mean everyone was only studying for the civil service exam.

When the juniors approached, Choi Sungbin curved his eyes into a smile.

“Yeah, hello.”

He took out his phone. He swiped through his messenger. It was filled with only personal messages, without a single group chat.

Want to get food? You don’t drink, right? Let’s get coffee. I’m in Gangnam now, want to meet for a bit? He put off replying to all of them for the time being.

“What’s Sungbin doing here?”

He lifted his head at the shadow cast before him. Choi Sungbin neither scowled nor smiled. The man was a senior, maybe two years older, who ran around with Hyena’s ex-boyfriend like they were childhood friends.

Even before the two of them broke up, he had been busy picking fights with him whenever he saw him. Choi Sungbin didn’t even nod his head once.

“Hello.”

“Looking for a girl?”

A light smile touched his lips.

“I’m just getting some air until my lecture starts. I don’t have any friends, you know.”

“That’s why you should come out when your classmates call you. Stop chasing after girls’ skirts.”

The way he sneered and taunted was ridiculous.

“I don’t eat with men.”

The man facing him scowled ugly. Choi Sungbin also dropped his smile.

“Tsk…….”

The man, who had clicked his tongue, turned around. He muttered to himself, loud enough to be heard.

“Rude bastard.”

He became an enemy to the guys for not joining in on their ridiculous antics when they hung out. And when he did attend, they would only throw low-quality questions at him.

Whenever they happened to be in a private setting, they would reveal their disgusting and creepy curiosity, asking when his first time was, who he had slept with in the department, what she was like.

If that was the case, being with the opposite sex was better. Even if they exchanged lewd jokes, that itself often became a form of sex appeal.

Should I head back now.

He got up from his seat. The new semester had started, but the weather was still closer to winter than spring. It would be nice if the weather warmed up a bit.

Still, being outside had aired out a lot of the smell from his clothes.

“……”

Choi Sungbin’s gaze landed on one spot. It wasn’t far.

He saw a familiar man. The man, who had come out of the building, was approaching the bench where Choi Sungbin had been sitting in order to go down the stairs.

Their eyes met. It seemed he had changed his clothes, but his attire was all black. Today, too, he was wearing the department jacket. If it weren’t for the seam line on his pants, he would have mistaken it for the same outfit as yesterday.

Choi Sungbin stared blankly at the man.

‘You have a bad reputation among the guys. Stop doing things like that.’

‘Playing around with girls you’re not even dating.’

The words he had gone out of his way to say the previous night came to mind. Anyone who saw him would think he was some kind of champion of justice.

That shaggy hair of his. He looked gloomy and acted just as he looked.

Choi Sungbin ignored the man and walked past. He didn’t even think of looking back. He was just a person passing by.

📝

Once he became aware of him, the man frequently caught his eye. The department building, a nearby park, the reading room, etc. Their paths overlapped often.

But there were none of the greetings that would be expected between a senior and a junior. He mostly watched from afar, and even if their eyes met, they would pass each other like strangers.

It was a week later that he came face to face with that man again.

Since the number of students wasn’t large, there tended to be various events for freshmen. If they had an opening general meeting last week, it would have been nice to also have the freshmen welcoming party at the same time, but this time, it was apparently an all-years freshmen welcoming party.

It was called a freshmen welcoming party, but it really meant they would gather and drink.

Choi Sungbin, naturally, had no intention of attending. Gathering to sit around and drink was more than enough last week. His classmate, Seokjun, had pestered him to fill a seat, but he had refused.

‘A professor asked me to have dinner.’

The appointment was real. It was a professor who took good care of him. Since the semester had started, he had suggested they have dinner, and Choi Sungbin, naturally, chose the professor.

It was better to exchange a few more words with a professor than to get dead drunk and giggle with students.

But there was something he had forgotten. The professor was someone who greatly enjoyed gatherings with students. He didn’t mind the restaurant they went to for the first round, but for the second round at the bar, the professor had brought Choi Sungbin along with him. Under the pretext of coming to pay the bill.

“You said you weren’t coming. How did you end up here?”

His classmate Seokjun welcomed him with his arms wide open. Choi Sungbin avoided the large man’s attempt to hug him, even turning his body completely away.

‘Do I really have to attend this too.’

Since he came with the professor, he would just have to kill some time and then leave. An hour is too long, maybe just for about 30 minutes.

“The professor said he was coming to pay.”

“I was going to tell you the professor was coming, but I forgot.”

“You didn’t hide it on purpose?”

“As if.”

Seokjun joked around. Tsk, letting out a short click of his tongue, Choi Sungbin looked around the bar and said.

“Anyway, change the venue. Do we always have to come here?”

They had come to the same bar as last week’s opening general meeting for the second round. Was it a relief that it wasn’t the first round, at least? Seokjun said, “A senior runs it, so it’s nice to come hang out—.” and smiled with a good-natured face.

“Hey, don’t just stand there, sit down. Is the corner seat comfortable? You don’t even drink.”

“I think the aisle would be better for escaping.”

“Hey now. Where are you trying to go. Go over there. ……Go over there and help out a bit.”

Unable to refuse Seokjun’s hand, he took a seat in the corner. When he heard him say to help out, he wondered what he meant, but he understood once he sat down.

He scanned the people sitting around the table one by one. This time too, the members were as gloomy as last week. Still, this was better than sitting around chattering loudly. It was a consideration from Seokjun, who knew he disliked loud places.

Just then, his scanning gaze stopped at one spot. The space between his eyebrows twitched unknowingly.

‘Why is that guy here…….’

The gloomy man was sitting across from him again. Since he was the one who came later, should he say that he was the one who had sought him out? At this point, it felt like fate.

Choi Sungbin scanned the man from top to bottom. Their gazes locked. He curved his eyes and smiled.

“We meet again. Sunbae, you must like alcohol.”

“I knew you’d come.”

“Are you looking for someone?”

“……”

The man held out his glass without a word. This time he didn’t even say to give him a drink. Choi Sungbin sucked in his lower lip, holding back a laugh.

‘This condescending bastard is ordering me to pour him a drink as soon as I get here.’

Still, he filled the glass without complaint. Not just for the man, but he also poured a glass for each of the other freshmen at the table. To a freshman who was anxiously trying to give him a glass as well, he refused, saying he didn’t drink.

“I don’t know why he comes when he can’t even drink.”

The man mumbled to himself. He seemed unable to distinguish between what should and shouldn’t be said, so this must have been said for him to hear as well.

Choi Sungbin glanced at the man, but he had already emptied the soju glass. He tilted the glass towards him again.

“Is it okay to ask a junior who can’t drink to fill your glass?”

The glass shook slightly. With a sidelong glance, he checked the expression facing him. Because of the long bangs grown out, he failed to read his expression. He was also covering his mouth with the back of his hand, so his face wasn’t even properly visible.

Choi Sungbin filled his glass once more.

He poured just a few glasses of alcohol and took care of the freshmen. The table was not just awkward but silent, either because they were not naturally talkative or because they were shy.

He bided his time and looked for the right moment to escape. He slowly looked around. The professor he had come with was on the opposite side, in a corner, clinking glasses with the student council president and graduate students.

The professor was a decent person usually, but he had a habit of acting out when he drank. He absolutely could not go over there. This side was better.

His classmate Seokjun was focused on mingling with the juniors, and everyone was having a good time on their own. Thinking it was about time to leave, he was about to get up when someone sat down in the seat next to him, which had been empty for some time.

“When did you get here?”

It was a freshman he occasionally exchanged messages with. What was his name again? He hadn’t saved the phone number and one day a message just came, so he didn’t know the name. The name was only set to the initials ‘YH.’

It was a good thing he at least had a profile picture, otherwise he wouldn’t have even recognized him.

“I got here less than 30 minutes ago. You were here?”

Even though he didn’t know the name, the conversation flowed. He didn’t want to break the flow by asking for the name of someone who had started a conversation wanting to get closer.

“I was so surprised to see you here, sunbae. Did you drink?”

“No. I can’t drink.”

“Isn’t it because you brought your car?”

“That’s part of it.”

“Then give me a drink.”

Choi Sungbin poured beer for the junior who held out his glass. As he was about to put the bottle down, he saw that the man was still holding his ground. He wasn’t drunk, nor was he livening up the mood, so he had no idea why he kept sitting there and holding his seat.

Choi Sungbin picked up the soju bottle and offered some to the man as well.

“Would you like a drink?”

“I’m fine.”

“You ordered me to pour you a drink earlier.”

“Not in the mood now.”

The man shook his head slightly.

“Fine then.”

Choi Sungbin shrugged his shoulders. His attention was solely focused on the newly arrived junior. The junior, with sparkling eyes, started asking him various things first.

“Sunbae, do you live alone? Where do you live?”

“Near Seoul Forest.”

“Why don’t you live near the school? Isn’t it cheaper over here than there?”

A two-room or three-room place was a hassle to manage, and honestly, he preferred a well-managed place even if it cost a lot. The money came from his father’s wallet, but he felt no guilt. It was a father’s love exchanged for money.

“Can I come visit next time?”

“It’s far, so it’ll probably be a hassle.”

“Ah, I want to see it.”

“If there’s a chance.”

He had no intention of taking him. If it was the hotel, he could have let even a passerby have a look, but he hated it for his home. He changed the subject so as not to offend him.

“What was your name again?”

“You’ve been talking to me without even knowing my name? We even text on KaTalk!”

“You only sent me a KaTalk message without giving me your number. I didn’t have a chance to ask.”

“Wow—, but I have your number, oppa. I’ll call you, so please save it. My name is Ji Yeonhee. I took a gap year.”

Next to him, his fingers moved busily. Soon, the screen of the phone, which was on silent, lit up. The junior who made the call put down his phone after confirming that the number had appeared.

“Save it right now, next to me.”

“Okay.”

“You can’t just write my department, student ID, and name.”

“Then what should I put?”

“Yeonhee.”

“I might forget your last name, are you okay with that?”

“Then you just have to not forget it!”

Yeonhee had suddenly moved right up close. Their arms were barely touching, but he pretended not to notice.

“I saved it.”

“Let me see.”

Yeonhee. Choi Sungbin personally showed the phone screen to the junior. He tended to save numbers as they wished. His contact list was overflowing with all sorts of hearts.

His hand wrapped around his thigh. The feel of the stocking, which was close to bare skin but had a rough texture, brushed against his palm. The junior’s back touched the dirty bathroom wall. The junior held onto Choi Sungbin’s shoulder with one hand, and gripped the sink with the other.

Every time their tongues writhed, they caressed each other’s bodies. Choi Sungbin kneaded Yeonhee’s chest. Slender fingers fumbled between his legs.

Umm, Yeonhee let out a moaning sound and pulled Choi Sungbin’s head into an embrace. Their bodies pressed closer as they hit the wall. They rubbed their lips together while clinging to each other.

“Ah, hheut.”

Yeonhee, letting out a soft breath, sucked on his ear. Choi Sungbin kissed her neck and pulled her waist in. He knew it would come to this, but he didn’t know it would be today.

‘Buy me ice cream.’

A common line. At Yeonhee’s words, they went to a convenience store together and picked out ice cream, and as they were outside sucking on it, they were soon sucking on each other’s lips.

He hated even motels, and doing it in a shithole like this bathroom was even worse. He grabbed the shoulders of Yeonhee, who was drunk on alcohol and excitement and was distractedly licking his ear.

“Should we change locations.”

Yeonhee, with glazed eyes, nodded his head carefully.

BANG BANG BANG!

Someone was pounding on the locked bathroom door, heavily but fiercely.

There was no one who should be coming. It was the building across from the bar, so no one came and went, and in the first place, since the bathroom door was locked, what need was there to knock? They would think it was locked and go somewhere else.

“……”

Choi Sungbin squeezed his eyes shut at a face that suddenly came to mind. There was someone who might come. He wiped Yeonhee’s mouth.

“Fix your makeup and go back to the others.”

“Why?”

BANG, BANG, BANG!

“Isn’t that Hyena unni?”

Yeonhee asked with an anxious face. Choi Sungbin shook his head. Unfortunately, they were not in a relationship where they interfered with what the other did.

They were friends who occasionally spent the night together.

“I’ll call you if I can, when the timing is right.”

“Who’s outside?”

“I know who it is. So as soon as I open the door, you leave. You don’t have to worry about it.”

Choi Sungbin checked his own appearance in the broken mirror. He wiped his disheveled hair and the lipstick smudged on his mouth with the palm of his hand.

The poorly maintained light flickered. Standing under the yellowish light, he undid the lock. Clack, the moment the door opened, Yeonhee ran outside.

“……”

“……”

Choi Sungbin blatantly scanned the man in front of him from top to bottom. He pushed his tongue into his cheek, expressing his displeasure. He didn’t think there was a need to put on a pretense. What was there to look good for?

“We see each other often, don’t we? Are you following me on purpose?”

“……”

“Follow me, you fucking bastard.”

Choi Sungbin struck the man’s shoulder hard and walked past. He stepped on the stairs that Yeonhee had just gone down as if fleeing. Even the sound of the man’s calm footsteps following from behind was just annoying.

As they passed the bar and entered the campus, the man didn’t say a single word. He just followed quietly.

He walked toward the above-ground parking lot near the department building. The voices of people could be heard from a distance now and then, but at this late hour, there was no one here.

Choi Sungbin stuck his hands in his pockets. He kicked away a piece of asphalt that was in his path. He finally faced the man.

As expected, no nice words came out.

“What are you doing?”

“……”

“Why do you keep interfering?”

The man was silent. From Hyena last time to Yeonhee now. And honestly, seeing him all over campus was fucking annoying too. Fucking getting on my nerves and pissing me off.

There must be a reason why he kept showing up. Choi Sungbin clenched his fist and pressed down hard on the man’s shoulder. Every time he nudged him, he stepped back.

“If you’ve got a problem, then you try to seduce them.”

“……”

“Do you have an inferiority complex? Are you taking it out on me because no one pays attention to you even though you attend every single drinking party to try and pick up girls?”

“……”

“Say something, sunbae. Don’t just keep your mouth shut.”

Choi Sungbin tilted his head to meet the eyes of the man who was staring at the ground. There wasn’t much of a height difference. He was a little shorter than him, who was in the late 180-centimeter range. Even at a rough glance, he seemed to be over 180 centimeters tall.

It was just that his bangs were shaggy and he acted gloomy, but his height and build weren’t bad. He wondered how ugly his face must be for him to go around covering even his eyes with his bangs.

On top of that, an inferiority complex. He was something else.

“Sunbae.”

“……”

“Answer me.”

“Yeah.”

“You said it to me, didn’t you. That I have a bad reputation among the guys, so I shouldn’t do this kind of shit.”

“……”

“I have no intention of looking good to them. Why the hell would I want to look good to a bunch of dickheads.”

“Choi Sungbin.”

The man finally opened his mouth. It was different from the answer he had squeezed out just a moment ago. Choi Sungbin raised an eyebrow instead of replying.

He scowled even more fiercely. If he was going to tell him about his bad reputation, he figured he would obviously know his name.

“I’m sorry for my slip of the tongue last time. I did it because I like you.”

The man said something completely out of the blue. His complicated thoughts settled down. His body, which had been boiling with irritation, grew cold.

“What?”

“Because I like you. ……It’s not that I was jealous of the girls, but it’s true that I interfered because I like you.”

“What the fuck is this crazy bastard saying now.”

Choi Sungbin spat out a curse without mercy. Of all the things. He let out a hollow laugh and swept his hair back.

“Are you gay?”

“……”

A silence of affirmation returned.

Ugh, fuck. He kicked the piece of asphalt that had been by his feet far away.

“So what if you like me?”

The man, despite having dropped the bomb, kept his mouth firmly shut. Only after a long while did he begin to speak in a voice that seemed like it would crawl away.

“I don’t know if I’m gay. I’ve never liked another guy besides you.”

Choi Sungbin narrowed one eye. Whether he was gay or not wasn’t the important thing. He stared at him with incredulous eyes. The man, who had briefly lifted his chin, opened his mouth again.

“And I want to date you.”

“Wow— this is insane. Why would I?”

Haha, laughter finally burst out. He placed both hands on his hips and tilted his head back.

“Sunbae. How long have you known me?”

He was so good at spewing bullshit, but the moment he was asked anything, his lips sealed shut. He took a step closer. The man didn’t even flinch, just kept his head down. Looking closely, his hair had a slight brownish tint.

Choi Sungbin questioned him in a domineering voice.

“Answer my question properly. How long have you known me.”

“Since you came in as a freshman.”

He had only gotten to know this man a week ago, but the man said he had known him for a long time. Crazy bastard. Choi Sungbin snorted.

“That was over two years ago. This bastard’s a total stalker.”

“But you went to the army, and I took a leave of absence, so I didn’t do anything.”

The man was spouting nonsense confidently.

“Doing anything would be a crime. You know that?”

“When I came back to school, you were back too, and I was happy to see you…… but you seemed a little different than before. I don’t think you used to be like that……. more like a student……”

“What kind of bullshit is that.”

Choi Sungbin finally cut the man off. To judge someone on his own and then say he’s changed. He ground the man’s shabby shoes with the sole of his own, as if putting out a cigarette.

“Sunbae, do you even know how old I was when I lost my virginity to be talking such nonsense. Huh?”

“……”

The man’s long bangs cast a shadow over his face. Looking at that sight, even the feeling of annoyance and irritation that he had felt drained away.

‘Let’s see what that face of his looks like.’

He raised his hand. The guy, who had a large build, flinched his shoulders.

“Don’t be scared. Is someone going to hit you?”

He lifted the man’s bangs with his index finger.

“……”

Choi Sungbin was a little surprised. The man had a surprisingly sharp face. His eyes, which he had expected to be the size of beans, were long and slanted to the point of looking fierce.

The size of his eyes themselves was moderately large, but his irises were small, making them look that way. His features weren’t the handsome type with bold lines, but he had the kind of look that people these days would like.

To think he looked perfectly fine.

He tilted his head and crossed his arms.

Only then did the man properly meet his eyes. As soon as they met, he hastily dropped his gaze. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip.

“You confessed so boldly, so why are you looking down now?”

“Because I’m embarrassed.”

It wasn’t the voice of an embarrassed person. It was just calm.

Choi Sungbin stared blankly at the man. Seeing him so restless, his boiling anger subsided. He was about to lift one corner of his mouth into a crooked smile, but instead he rolled his lips inward and bit them.

He was usually good at reading the atmosphere. He also liked to lead the flow. He hadn’t realized it this time because it was a man, but he was better than anyone at noticing the favor or interest someone had in him. Moreover, he tended to enjoy it.

He called the man in a softened voice.

“Sunbae.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you really like me? You’re not just making an excuse?”

“Yeah, I like you.”

Ah—. So he likes me. Choi Sungbin nodded his head as if he understood. To think two dickheads were talking about liking each other. But since his actions upon meeting didn’t seem like a lie, he acted magnanimously.

“Thank you for liking me. You should have said so sooner. Instead of following me around.”

The man finally raised his head. The thought of his eyes widening under his bangs made him laugh. A sneer was a type of laugh, after all.

“But I have no intention of being nice to a man. Even if you follow me around saying you like me, I won’t tell you to get lost. It’s more convenient to order you around and use you. I’ll just treat you like a lackey.”

“I don’t care.”

It’s not much different from now anyway. The man added a useless remark.

“What do you mean, not much different from now. How do you know what I’ll do.”

“……Still.”

The man quickly licked his lips. His fingertips were trembling slightly. As if not wanting to be caught, he clenched his fists. The man’s Adam’s apple bobbed. After swallowing dryly, he continued.

“I want to be with you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

Idiot. I knew it. When people are desperate and earnest, they just look like pushovers.

Choi Sungbin decided to take his anger out on the man. Since the man couldn’t overcome his own feelings and interrupted a perfectly good time, it was okay for him to use the man’s feelings too. After all, it was because of this man that he had lost a partner for the night.

“Get in the car.”

He pointed to the car with a lift of his chin. The man glanced at the car, which had a mysterious mix of silver and blue.

Choi Sungbin started walking first. The man, who had been trailing after him just a moment ago, showed no movement this time. He turned around. He asked the man who was frozen like a statue.

“You said you wanted to be with me. Aren’t you coming?”

“……I’m coming.”

Only then did the man start walking.

📝

The man entered the room hesitantly. Despite having booked the motel himself, he looked awkward. He wondered if this was a place he frequented, but what was this.

“Ha……”

Choi Sungbin let out a sigh, his eyes half-lidded.

“I told you to handle it, but you pay money for a place like this?”

It was a motel so cheap it was like a flophouse near some train station. He hadn’t gone to the hotel because he didn’t think he needed to treat a man well, and this was the result.

He should have turned back when the man was at the counter, handing over his military service card with trembling hands. Choi Sungbin looked around. The interior looked like the wallpaper hadn’t been changed in 20 years.

The man, who had hung his department jacket on a chair, just stood there, pulling on his sleeves. Choi Sungbin glanced at the man for a moment, then unbuckled his pants and sat on the edge of the bed.

What did it matter if it was a hotel or a motel. All that mattered was getting off.

“……”

The man stood at a distance, just watching cautiously. His chin was lifted and then lowered. Choi Sungbin lifted his butt and put his hand inside his pants. He took out his non-erect penis.

By the way, will I even get hard? No matter how you look at it. If he at least looked pretty, it would be less of an issue. But this guy. He was just a plain man.

He gripped the root of his dick with his hand and looked at the man.

“Hey.”

“……Yeah.”

“Sit.”

He pointed to the floor. To be precise, between his legs. The man’s eyes, peeking through the part in his bangs, were trembling violently. He was so frozen with hesitation and whatever else that he couldn’t move.

Was this man, who couldn’t even lift his head properly, the same man who had confessed his feelings in the parking lot a little while ago?

Back then he had confessed so brazenly, but now that he was being told he could suck the dick of the person he liked, he was acting like a prude.

“What are you doing? I told you to sit.”

The man barely managed to take a step. He approached falteringly with small steps. He knelt down on the floor. Choi Sungbin placed his foot on the man’s thigh.

“Someone interrupted me, so I couldn’t do what I was going to do.”

He pulled the blanket from the bed.

“Cover yourself with this and suck it.”

“……”

“You said you like me. You must have at least imagined sucking my dick.”

He threw the blanket at the man. The man put his hands on the floor and was hit by the blanket, helpless.

“If you suck well, I’ll date you.”

Choi Sungbin curved the corners of his eyes. Unlike until now, he tried to speak affectionately.

The man clenched and unclenched his fist as if he had made a decision. Soon he moved his arms, grabbed the corner of the blanket, and pulled it over himself. He was no longer visible.

The inside of the blanket stirred and bustled. There was no hand gripping his thigh. A wet mouth enveloped the head of his penis. He tried to open his mouth wide to suck in the penis, but he was clumsy. The edges of his teeth kept grazing it. His tongue wriggled beneath the penis, moving like a snake climbing a tree trunk. In between, he went sssp, swallowing saliva.

“Take it deep. You probably can’t go all the way, but.”

“Ughp.”

“Don’t let your teeth touch. And flatten your tongue.”

He could feel him trying to open his mouth wide, but it seemed he couldn’t help his teeth from grazing. Honestly, he was fucking terrible at it. It was even a bit nauseating. Every time he sucked deep, a gag reflex followed as if it were a given. He was thinking of deep-throating it from the start. Choi Sungbin furrowed his brow.

“Uuuk.”

“Don’t make a sound. I don’t want to hear your voice. ……Ah, try curling your lips over your teeth.”

Tzup, chupp, the man moved his head back and forth. The edges of his teeth still touched, and he couldn’t roll his tongue properly either, which was a shame. But well. It wasn’t bad for use as a masturbation tool.

The man seemed to be trying his best to suck as hard as he could. Hheup, hhut, joo-up, tzt. The sound of being drenched in saliva echoed irregularly. It was an extremely clumsy movement. If he had his way, he wanted to grab his head and fuck it hard himself.

“Take it out of your mouth and lick it up from the bottom with your tongue. With lots of spit.”

It came out of the wet mouth. Tsseup, the man swallowed his saliva. A wet tongue started from the root and licked up and down the shaft quickly. It seemed he had applied a lot of saliva, as his tongue was smooth.

“Ah.”

Choi Sungbin gripped the roundly protruding blanket. He cupped the man’s head with his palm and tilted his own head back. His thighs tensed.

“Jerk your dick and suck your balls too.”

The man was submissive. He just didn’t know how, but he did everything he was told. Fucking lunatic.

Choi Sungbin became curious about what the man looked like sucking his dick under the blanket, but he held back. What was the point of looking. It would just kill the mood. Instead, he placed his hand where his head would be. He felt a round head.

The man took his testicles into his mouth and rolled his tongue. The hand gripping his shaft moved up and down.

While sucking his testicles, he stretched them out and then buried the tip of his nose at the base of his shaft. Although he had said he was a bad sucker, he was good enough to play with a few times.

“Hoo-euh, take the head in your mouth. I’ll cum for you.”

Choop, ssseup, the man continued to jerk the shaft while taking the head into his mouth. With the tip of his tongue, he licked the urethral opening up and down. Choi Sungbin let out a short breath and pulled the man’s head as far as he could between his legs.

“Uuuk, eup, keuht, euk.”

From under the blanket, the man made a choking, scratching sound. Choi Sungbin bit his lip hard and came in his mouth. Semen gushed out.

The man squirmed to pull his head away, but he was stronger.

There was no need to tell him to swallow. The man would have swallowed his semen the moment it went down.

“Haa.”

Choi Sungbin let out a soft breath and let go of the man’s head.

Cough, cough. The man coughed and collapsed onto the floor. Only then did the blanket slide off.

‘I messed with him because I was in a shitty mood, but he’s more convenient than I thought.’

Choi Sungbin looked down at the man. He had only been with women so far, so he didn’t know, but it wasn’t a bad way to crush someone’s pride. The face that had been so defiant, acting like a senior, was now bright red.

Saliva dripped from between his parted lips. The area around his mouth was shiny.

The man clutched his throat and looked up at Choi Sungbin. The semen that had gone up his nose was now forming like snot. Tears cut across his cheeks and fell. He spoke with difficulty in a hoarse voice.

“Are you going to date me?”

Because he said he would date him, he put a blanket over his head and sucked his dick. A normal person would have realized from the moment they were told to cover themselves with a blanket that he didn’t want to see their face, but the man didn’t seem to have noticed.

‘What a truly strange bastard.’

Was he missing a screw, or did he like him that much? He didn’t want to think about it any deeper.

Choi Sungbin touched his bangs with his index finger. His bloodshot eyes were filled with tears.

“Tidy up your hair. Can you even see?”

As he said that, he pulled three or four tissues from a tissue box covered in all sorts of messy ads. He wiped his penis, which the man had been sucking so diligently until now.

The man squirmed in his uncomfortable position and curled his legs. His gaze naturally went to the space between his legs.

“Did you get hard while sucking dick?”

“……”

“That’s fascinating. I didn’t even touch you, but you got erect while sucking dick.”

“Keuheup.”

The man couldn’t bear the discomfort and made keuk, keuk sounds as he cleared his throat. Choi Sungbin used the tissue he had wiped his penis with to wipe the man’s nose.

“You have cum coming out of your nose. Did you book the room for the night?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Well. Do whatever you want about sleeping over. I can’t wash up here, it’s too grimy. Use this if you’re going to.”

Choi Sungbin placed the tissue in the man’s hand. He got up and straightened his clothes. He looked the same as when he first arrived. Though he did feel lighter after getting a load off.

Honestly, it wasn’t bad. He was a fucking terrible sucker, but he did everything he was told. At first, he had only dragged him here because he was annoyed by him acting like a stalker and interfering, using the excuse that he liked him.

It seems it would be okay to meet a few more times. If he just made him suck his dick with a blanket over his head, it would be a matter of cumming once or twice and that would be it. It didn’t seem like it would be a hassle either.

‘If I had to compare it to something, would it be a toilet?’

He didn’t feel sorry. He had been annoying and troublesome first, and he had even confessed, saying he didn’t care what he did.

Choi Sungbin held out his phone to the man who was still clutching his throat.

“Put your number in.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why. You said you wanted to meet, sunbae.”

The man took the phone with a trembling hand. He punched his number into the keypad on the screen and handed it back. As expected, it was an unsaved number. Choi Sungbin called the number with an impassive face.

A vibration sounded from the man’s department jacket, which was casually thrown on the chair. The man barely managed to get up, rummaged through his pocket, and took out his phone.

Only after confirming the buzzing vibration did Choi Sungbin press the end call button. He was about to save it, but his finger paused.

Come to think of it, he didn’t even know his name.

“Sunbae.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your name?”

“……Yang Juwon.”

Yang, Ju, Won. Choi Sungbin saved the three characters of his name on his phone. He was done with his business now.

“I’m leaving. See you again.”

“……”