UPLB Ch 10

“What?”

“The pot.”

“Ah, right.”

Hearing the answer, he got up. To be honest, he wasn’t particularly curious. He was just wondering where one would buy such an old pot.

“I’m going to go wash up.”

“I’ll get my clothes for you. I’ll run the laundry, so just wear those in the meantime.”

Choi Sungbin looked at his own top, which was neatly folded in the corner. Not only his top but also the clothes Yang Juwon usually wore were stacked neatly. They were all darkish in color.

I’ll have to wash all the clothes I was wearing. I can’t go out in these shabby clothes. Probably. I think I’ll have to sleep here for one more night.

📝

Choi Sungbin spent the day as usual. He had a break between lectures and sat on a bench in front of the building, basking in the sunlight. The trees were already lush with green leaves.

He tapped his own cheek with the back of his fingers. Just because. It felt the same as usual. No matter how much he thought about it, it was a mystery. Why was it like that when Yang Juwon touched it? It felt strange, even to the point of being erotic. But he did not touch his cheek again like he did the day before yesterday and whisper for him to sleep well.

‘I’m turning off the light. Sleep.’

He had pushed him into the bedding and slept on just a single, very thin blanket himself. It was a pathetic sight, but Choi Sungbin had no intention of offering to switch places, so he just said, “Okay,” and left it at that.

Was it because of the atmosphere that day? Or is my cheek an erogenous zone? That could be why I reacted to his careful touch.

Tilting his head this way and that to catch the sunlight, Choi Sungbin came across a welcome face. It was Hyena. She was coming up the stairs and hadn’t noticed him sitting on the bench.

Has there ever been a moment when Hyena was this welcome?

His head was a mess, so he decided he should ask her to touch his cheek too. He didn’t think there was anything special about Yang Juwon.

He got up and approached her.

“Noona.”

As he approached with a friendly smile, Hyena’s eyes, which met his, turned fierce. What’s with her again? Hyena was prone to severe mood swings, but as a friend, it was never a hassle.

Friend. A friend of the opposite sex is a relationship where you only need to exchange light emotions without the need to take responsibility for each other.

Choi Sungbin ignored her glaring eyes.

“Noona, hi. It’s been a while.”

“You want to greet me right now? Why. Why don’t you try ignoring me like you usually do.”

Choi Sungbin let out a belated, short exclamation. He had forgotten and just now remembered. He didn’t know what had happened at the drinking party, but the next day, a message filled with inexplicable anger had arrived from Hyena. But he had read the message and ignored it without thinking to ask about it.

At that time, what was more important to him than her slurred, drunken message was the fact that he had locked tongues with Yang Juwon and caressed his neck until it was covered in marks.

“Right. Noona, why were you angry?”

“Hey. You really want to ask that?”

“But, first, just touch my cheek for a bit.”

“Are you really asking for a beating?”

“Quick. Touch my cheek.”

Choi Sungbin bent his waist and brought his face in front of hers. He could see Hyena seething with anger. Whatever, I’ll make it up to you later. Huh? As he urged her, Hyena finally let out a deep sigh and extended her hand. She placed one hand on his cheek.

This isn’t it. Choi Sungbin furrowed one of his brows.

“Not like that, rub it with your fingers.”

“Do you think your anger will just go away if you act cute like that?”

“Hurry—. Caress me nicely.”

“Why are you acting like such a child? I’m still not going to forgive you.”

But Hyena ultimately did as he asked. She caressed his cheek carefully. Her hand was certainly softer and smaller than Yang Juwon’s. But this wasn’t the touch.

Hmm, Choi Sungbin finally straightened his back. This wasn’t it.

Hyena’s hand paused in midair before returning to its original position. Her anger seemed to have subsided as she began to whine.

“I was really mad at you. But you didn’t even contact me. Do I have to tell you directly that I’m upset with you? Shouldn’t you at least ask me about this first?”

“Tell me now. If I did something wrong, I’ll apologize.”

Hyena let out a puff of a sigh and swept her hair back. She crossed her arms and pressed her lips together firmly before finally opening her mouth.

“You. Do you hate it that much when I go to your house? Is that why you always hide it from me, but you took Juwon oppa there?”

“What about that sunbae…….”

He was about to ask her back, He came to my house? but he did come. Though it was only to the front of the complex. He tilted his head slightly. Let’s not lie, it’s a hassle.

“He’s been to the front of the complex, but he’s never been inside the house. Why would that sunbae come to my house?”

“He’s never been to your house?”

“Yeah. I don’t lie to you, noona.”

Hyena bit her lip hard.

“Then why did Juwon oppa say he would take you home that day?”

“Who else would support me besides that sunbae. ……Noona, can you lift me?”

Choi Sungbin spread his arms wide and hugged Hyena. He playfully put his weight on her.

“Hey. Ah, you’re heavy!”

Hyena screamed at the top of her lungs. He could feel people glancing over, but Choi Sungbin rubbed his cheek against Hyena’s hair. As if she had never been angry, Hyena soon wrapped her arms around his waist.

“You’re so annoying.”

Hyena grumbled but eventually burst into laughter. Some people said he got away with things because of his face, but Choi Sungbin knew how to use his face well. Even if you’re mad, you let it go if I act a little cute, don’t you?

This kind of relationship was comfortable. Forgiving and forgetting quickly when upset—it would be annoying if she grumbled often, but Hyena’s level was fine. She also knew the line between friends.

“Noona, what happened with Changsoo sunbae?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a hassle. He keeps asking to get back together, but…… oh, hello!”

Hyena, her anger now gone, greeted someone brightly. Choi Sungbin, who had his arm around Hyena’s shoulder, tilted his head. He kept his face resting on her head and only moved his eyes. In front of him was Yang Juwon, with whom he had been until that morning.

He did owe him one; he had driven him, who had a first-period class, to school. They had parted ways after hearing a thank you for the ride. And yet, he received another message saying thank you so much for the ride. It was fine then.

“Oh. Hi.”

Yang Juwon replied in his usual blunt voice and walked past the two of them. Choi Sungbin silently watched Yang Juwon’s back. He was no different from usual, so Hyena seemed to have no idea, but he noticed.

He was different from usual. He looked to be in a bad mood. He was trying hard to hide his stiff face.

Choi Sungbin unwrapped his arm from her shoulder. Hyena stepped out of his embrace.

“I have to get to class. I’ll contact you. Don’t ignore it, okay?”

“Yeah, noona, see you later.”

He watched Hyena walk away for a moment, then took out his phone. He looked for Yang Juwon’s name. He had to hear why his expression was like that. After all, he was his lover, for what it’s worth.

Where did I leave my phone? Why isn’t he answering the call?

Come to think of it, this was the first time he had contacted him first. Good morning, sleep well. It was him who sent greeting messages every morning and evening, so there was nothing for him to do.

Even then, he only replied when he felt like it. When he sent sleep well, he would reply, You too, sunbae. And when he greeted with good morning, he would say something like, Let’s meet today.

Even though they had been together for quite some time, they had never had a proper phone conversation.

Even if they called, it was just to quickly state the main point—’Come to the bathroom’ or ‘Come to the hotel’—and then hang up. To be fair, this call was also going to start with, ‘Where are you?’

In any case, the man did not answer the phone.

Choi Sungbin tried hard to hide his uneasy feeling and went looking for him. He couldn’t have gone far.

Sure enough, as soon as he went down the stairs, he saw him. It was a good thing he was a slow walker. In his hand was his phone.

“Son of a bitch…….”

It wasn’t that he couldn’t answer the call; he was not answering it. Seeing him deliberately ignoring it, a surge of anger flared up. He quickened his pace and chased after the man.

“Sunbae.”

He closed the distance and grabbed the man’s forearm, spinning him around. Yang Juwon’s eyes widened as if surprised, but it was only for a fleeting moment. As if it had never happened, he returned to his original expression. In fact, he even scowled.

This is unpleasant. Choi Sungbin’s own expression crumpled in turn.

“What’s wrong?”

Choi Sungbin, having stopped the man, got straight to the point. Yang Juwon’s eyes dropped. He looked down at his forearm that was being held, then belatedly made eye contact. He twisted his shoulder slightly.

It was an unconscious action. Choi Sungbin was dumbfounded.

What the fuck. Is he avoiding me now?

“What are you doing right now.”

Yang Juwon glanced at the people passing by. Choi Sungbin felt a bitter laugh about to escape and licked his lips.

Are you actually concerned about what other people think?

He himself didn’t care. Right now, he just needed to know why this bastard was acting like this.

Things were fine until this morning.

He glared at the man without a word. Yang Juwon wrapped his own hand around the one gripping his forearm.

“Let’s not do this here…….”

The force wasn’t strong. But Choi Sungbin pulled his hand away on his own. The feeling of the dry palm overlapping the back of his hand was unpleasant.

“Go somewhere quiet. I don’t want to attract unnecessary attention.”

“Why should I do that.”

His mood was already ruined, so he acted defiant on purpose. He furrowed one of his brows again at the man’s low sigh.

“Then you could just not follow me.”

“You walked by with that kind of expression on your face, and you want me to just ignore it?”

“So you did notice my expression wasn’t good?”

“…….”

Why wouldn’t I know? You were walking around with a face like death.

Choi Sungbin shut his mouth. For some reason, he didn’t want to soothe Yang Juwon. He didn’t know why, and he just didn’t feel like it.

You said you like me. You even cried your eyes out because you liked me. So why are you taking your bad mood out on me?

Instead, a strong desire to question him bubbled up.

“Weren’t we fine until this morning?”

Yang Juwon, having given up on moving, lowered his voice. That was what he wanted to say. They were fine until the morning.

He hadn’t replied to the message thanking him for the ride, but if he were to stay at his place again, he had been willing to play the role of chauffeur.

Choi Sungbin clenched his jaw. Until he caught up to him, he had simply been wondering what was wrong, but his mood plummeted in an instant.

Why do I feel so shitty?

“That’s my line.”

“Then why were you hugging Hyena like that? You two aren’t even dating.”

“We’re friends.”

“Why do friends hug? How do you think I feel watching that?”

Yang Juwon questioned him in a calm voice. Looking at him like this, it really seemed like he was confiding his hurt feelings to his lover.

Choi Sungbin was flabbergasted. He was so dumbfounded that he let out a short laugh. At the cynical laugh, the man’s expression hardened even more.

“Sunbae.”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you being so childish, it’s annoying.”

“…….”

“Do you think you’ve become something special just because we got along for two days? Don’t meddle and just act like you always do. It doesn’t suit you.”

Just endure it. You said you could. You said you could do anything, so what is this?

He and Hyena were indeed friends. They had had sex and enjoyed the occasional date, but it was the kind of thing that other ‘friends’ of the ‘opposite sex’ would do.

Friends can exist between men and women. If you put the label ‘friend’ on it, you become friends. In the first place, neither of them had any intention of dating, so what the hell was the problem.

Ah. No way…….

“Are you jealous?”

Yang Juwon’s lips were sealed shut. That silence felt like an affirmation. Ha, a sigh escaped.

“Is it annoying you now? Are you feeling hurt or something?”

He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but the way he was confiding his feelings just because he himself felt hurt was bothersome and annoying.

He had no intention of accepting it. There was no need to.

“Then let’s just end it. Let’s not bother each other.”

Yang Juwon finally hung his head low. That sight was frustrating.

It was infuriating when he said everything on his mind, but it was also aggravating when he stayed silent with his mouth shut. It was just that whatever this person did was annoying.

Why does this feel so shitty? He wanted to ask, but he held it in.

The man, after mumbling his lips, finally spoke.

“Choi Sungbin.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“…….”

“I think I unknowingly got my hopes up because it seemed like our relationship had gotten better. I’m sorry.”

Choi Sungbin grit his teeth. Watching that characteristic pretense of being a good person made him feel like he was the bad guy.

Is that right from Yang Juwon’s perspective? Maybe it is. But you knew everything when we started. Why are you being like this now?

Choi Sungbin closed his eyes deeply and then opened them. Then he shot back coldly.

“What do your expectations have to do with me. You were just taking your anger out on me.”

“Right, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t even want your apology. This isn’t fun. I’m done.”

He turned away from the man. He hated that he was getting angry at him for such a pathetic reason. Annoying bastard.

Unlike when he had chased after him, he walked back the way he came at a very slow pace.

📝

I’m sorry. Contact me when you’re not angry anymore. Let’s get food.

The message had come two days ago, and that was all. Choi Sungbin had blatantly ignored the message. He thought it was quite a nonchalant way to send an apology message.

Whatever. Does he think everything is fine if he’s the only one who apologizes after ruining someone’s mood? He had no intention of accepting it. It was better to just think of it as over.

“Excuse me…….”

The voice calling out was directed at him, so Choi Sungbin turned his head. Ah. He swallowed a short exclamation. It was the student who had handed him a note with her number on it a week ago.

Come to think of it, where did that note go? He thought he had tucked it in his wallet. There was a drinking party that day, and he had been fucked by Yang Juwon, so he hadn’t been in his right mind.

No way…… that bastard didn’t steal the note again, did he? He could have secretly thrown it away or taken it. He was the one who had tucked it in carelessly, but Yang Juwon was more than capable of doing something like that.

“You didn’t contact me. But…… I was really disappointed.”

“…….”

Even though her friends were there, the woman sat down in the seat next to him. Choi Sungbin glanced sideways at her group of friends. It seemed they had already reached an agreement, as they blatantly avoided his gaze the moment their eyes met.

He discreetly looked down at the woman sitting beside him. Judging by her sitting height alone, it seemed there would be a significant height difference.

The small-statured woman was different from Yang Juwon.

Her clothes were not in the monochrome family but well put together, and though her makeup was light, her shy face was different from a certain man who was always impassive.

Choi Sungbin silently blinked his eyes.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t been on a date recently. Since Yang Juwon was comfortable, he would stuff him in his mouth in a hotel or a bathroom whenever he wanted to get off, and his reluctance to eat had disappeared, so they would just eat facing each other.

And for two days, hadn’t he been cooped up in his house? Eating and sleeping……, having short conversations, and sleeping again.

At this rate, my romantic tension with the opposite sex is going to drop. Choi Sungbin rested his chin on his hand and looked at the woman’s short pinky nail. It was tinged a peach color.

“Do you want to have dinner today?”

Unlike the overly shy woman, Choi Sungbin was not very uncomfortable in these situations. At the woman’s suggestion of wanting pizza, he went to a pub with a nice atmosphere. It was a place where the pizza was particularly famous, more so than the beer.

Choi Sungbin, as was natural, did not drink alcohol, and she had beer with her meal.

“This is the first time I’ve ever asked for someone’s number.”

The woman was a year younger than Choi Sungbin. She said she would use formal language, but he told her to speak comfortably. Choi Sungbin preferred to speak informally. Whether it was the other person or himself. There was nothing like informal speech for getting close.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. I was really sad when you didn’t contact me……, I was going to ask just one more time, and I’m glad I did.”

After finishing her sentence, the woman smiled, biting her lip. Shyness was visible in the corners of her beautifully curving eyes.

Choi Sungbin tapped his index finger, which was resting on the round table.

“……I see.”

He nodded as he replied.

The woman, who had been watching him silently, asked cautiously.

“You’re not interested in my story, are you?”

“Why?”

Choi Sungbin asked, tilting his head. Her peach-colored index fingernail pointed at his fingertip.

“Because you look bored. It moves every time I talk.”

“That’s not it. It’s just. My hands are bored.”

Choi Sungbin clenched and unclenched his fist. Then he flipped his palm over and held it out. He wiggled his fingers with a playful smile.

Hoo, the woman, who let out a breath, placed her hand on his palm. It was soft, as expected. Different from a certain dark and rough hand.

He swept the back of her hand with his thumb.

“Oppa, is it true you don’t have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. I told you I don’t.”

“How long has it been since you broke up?”

He didn’t have a girlfriend, but he did have a boyfriend. And they had broken up about two days ago.

Choi Sungbin’s eyes curved into a smile.

“It’s been about two days.”

“Don’t joke around.”

She seemed to think it was a joke. But it’s true. Whether it was two days, two months, or two years, what did it matter?

He just smiled lightly and said nothing. Well, however she thought about it, all that mattered was that she was happy.

The date, which would have been enjoyable on a normal day, was tedious today. The taut tug of war felt like a meaningless power struggle. I want to go home. He wondered if there was any point in continuing on like this.

As the meal was finishing, the woman, who had emptied her beer, asked.

“What should we do after eating?”

Do we have to do something else after eating? If it had been Yang Juwon, he would have suggested they just grab a quick bite anywhere and then go to a hotel.

It’s a hassle. Has he picked up a habit? Knowing that his usual self wasn’t like this made him feel even stranger.

“Do you just want to go home?”

“…….”

“I was just wondering if we have to do something more after eating. I want to rest now.”

Choi Sungbin spoke nonchalantly. He figured since she asked to have dinner, they should just finish after eating dinner.

The area was already a bustling downtown, so the traffic was bad, and moving anywhere else was a hassle. He spoke indifferently and lifted his head a beat later.

Her startled eyes were aimed at him.

“Ah.”

Choi Sungbin let out a short exclamation. It was not like him. He knew that his usual self would not have acted this way.

Even for a last minute plan, he always had a plan in his head for where to go after eating.

He knew all the date courses in Seoul, or even on the outskirts. He could adjust to suit his partner.

He literally lived his life enjoying dates, so he had never shown any sign of being bothered. He had never been bothered before.

The woman’s face, which had been flushed, was now stiff.

“Did you perhaps not want to eat but felt forced to because I was being a nuisance? Because you thought I’d keep bothering you if you didn’t?”

“…….”

“Then tell me beforehand. I don’t want to meet someone to that extent either.”

The woman asked, hiding her hurt expression. She was a smart person. She wasn’t just showing her disappointment but was asking about the current situation.

Choi Sungbin’s lips parted. It hadn’t been a hassle. He had genuinely thought it would be fun. Eating with someone he didn’t know well, getting to know each other, enjoying the thrilling boundary.

He had definitely thought that kind of thing was fun, but…….

“Sorry. I’m tired because I haven’t been sleeping well.”

Choi Sungbin made an excuse, rubbing his eyebrows. The two days he had spent at Yang Juwon’s house were some of the most problem free nights of sleep he’d had in his life, ones he could count on his fingers. How could he say that he had come to like what was comfortable? It was difficult to say that he had a partner who would take care of things with his mouth if needed and did everything for him.

“Aah……, I see.”

The woman nodded her head, her reply trailing off. Her hand, which had been placed over his several times, was now settled under the table. She no longer smiled like she did at first.

“I’ll take you home. Let’s go.”

By the time they finished their meal and came out, the sun had set. The days getting longer wasn’t such a good thing. He already had trouble falling asleep, and the pouring sunlight made him wake up easily. He had blackout curtains installed at home, but they weren’t particularly effective. It wasn’t like he spent much time at home anyway.

“It’s okay. My house is just around the corner. It’s actually faster to walk.”

The woman only smiled again after they had finished eating. Ah, really? Choi Sungbin searched for a suitable reply but failed.

“But oppa.”

“Yeah.”

“You know that even though we said we’d be friends, that wasn’t the case, right?”

He belatedly met the eyes of the woman who was cautiously opening her mouth.

“But I think I was mistaken. I’m sorry for pushing you just because I liked you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You looked bored. It seemed like you couldn’t focus well on what I was saying. The oppa I saw in the lecture hall looked cold, but he was always diligent. He listened to the lectures attentively and spoke well when talking with group members……. But, I don’t think I was wrong in my assessment, but I still don’t think you and I are right for each other.”

Was that so? He didn’t really know, to be honest. Still, seeing as she was saying it directly, it must have been quite obvious.

Why did it feel so burdensome? The touch of warmth and the communication felt awkward. This was a first.

Have I been pursuing comfort too much lately? Come to think of it, Yang Juwon was a man of few words, and it was okay to ignore what he said. He was a person you could do that to. Because he said he liked me.

He knew that affection could not be a license for everything. But he kept wanting to test it. How much could Yang Juwon tolerate? What were his limits?

Choi Sungbin finally showed a weak smile.

“Okay, let’s see each other in the lecture hall later. I had fun today.”

“You’re lying again.”

The woman laughed out loud softly.

📝

He came to a hotel for the first time in a while. He rarely came alone, but today for some reason, he didn’t want to go home.

For the two days after breaking up with Yang Juwon, he had been doing fine without any problems. He ate his meals when it was time, and although he had only slept for about five hours total in two days, it was his usual sleep pattern, so it was bearable.

But why.

He hated thinking. Just. He wanted to live without any thoughts. To enjoy dates with a light heart, meet women, and have skinship with them.

He lay stretched out on the bed and looked out the window. 10 P.M. It was night, but it was still brilliant outside. It wasn’t time to sleep either. A person his age would not be sleeping at this hour. But Choi Sungbin wanted to sleep.

He missed the peaceful sleep he had gotten at Yang Juwon’s studio apartment.

I want to sleep, just.

Everything is a hassle.

He rubbed the back of his clasped hands, which were resting peacefully on his stomach. Hmm, he let out a short sigh.

Moving only his hand, he fumbled around on the bed. He picked up the phone that his palm brushed against. He skimmed through the messages on his social media.

On Instagram, the usual kinds of messages were dominant. He scrolled down with his thumb, scanning the utterly useless content.

Whether long or short, they were all similar in content. They were messages from people who had seen someone tag him on social media. What do these people see in me to send messages like this? They were people he had never even met in real life.

He went into his message box. The message that had arrived two days ago had already been pushed down.

I’m sorry. Contact me when you’re not angry anymore. Let’s get food.

Choi Sungbin read the short message a couple of times and then pressed the call button at the top to make a call.

It wasn’t that he missed Yang Juwon. Just. He had somehow come to pursue what was comfortable.

The monotonous ringing tone was cut off before long. Before the man’s voice could be heard, Choi Sungbin asked first.

“Where are you?”

The way was quite familiar now that he had been there once. The convenience store where he had run into Yang Juwon when he was with Yeonhee was less than a five minute walk from his house.

He parked his car in front of the building and went up. When he pressed the doorbell, the door opened with a beep— sound.

“…….”

Yang Juwon stood still, holding the door. They held their positions as if in a standoff with the door between them. Choi Sungbin’s lips parted. It was a situation where he had to speak first.

What should I say? Sorry? I’ve decided to forgive you? Let’s try again? He just closed his eyes deeply and then opened them.

“I can’t sleep.”

That was all he said. Yang Juwon, who had been silently holding his ground, let out a short sigh. Only then did he push the doorknob to open the door for him.

“Come in.”

Choi Sungbin walked in without a word. Once inside, he saw the house, neat as usual. It was only natural that nothing would have changed since he had been here just two days ago.

Yang Juwon had already laid out the bedding. A textbook was open on a small floor table, suggesting he had been doing an assignment.

Choi Sungbin looked around the house for a moment before sitting on the floor. Yang Juwon grabbed a cup, poured some water from the refrigerator, and handed it to him. He took a sip, moistening his mouth. As expected, it wasn’t cold.

Yang Juwon stood leaning on the sink. The room was so small that it felt like they were close together. He gently stroked the sink’s railing, which he was holding with his index finger.

“Choi Sungbin.”

“Yes.”

“Are you not angry anymore?”

“Yes.”

Choi Sungbin soon added more.

“Apologize to me. For taking your anger out on me just because you got upset on your own.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

Yang Juwon apologized calmly. He didn’t know if the reason he apologized was because he was genuinely sorry or because he didn’t want to break up.

Choi Sungbin felt that he had become childish. Normally, it was not an issue that required an apology or anything. But this time, he decided to let it go.

In fact, his heart had softened at the single word of apology.

“Don’t do that from now on.”

“I understand. I won’t.”

Choi Sungbin changed into the clothes Yang Juwon had taken out for him. It was a good thing he had washed up beforehand. His studio was already small, but the bathroom was especially so.

The shower head connected to the sink was particularly awful. When he had come last time, he had showered with this shower head, and one splash of water got the entire bathroom wet. At this rate, he thought it would be better to shower at a public bathhouse. The cleanup was more of a hassle.

After changing his clothes, he sat in a corner and watched Yang Juwon. He was quietly doing his own thing.

He was hunched over the obviously small floor table, looking at a textbook. There was nothing else for him to do.

That guy probably studies too. There are times when one overlooks such an obvious fact.

A monochrome person. He probably didn’t have much else he could do besides studying. Seeing how he followed him around, he must have been good at sitting still and studying during his school days.

Choi Sungbin overlapped and then released the fingers on his lap. He fiddled with his fingernails, then interlaced his fingers……, repeating the hand gestures.

“Hoo…….”

The man who let out a breath hung his head low as if frustrated and swept his hair back. Come to think of it, there was a time when he had shaggy hair.

His bangs, which had been long enough to completely cover his eyes, had been cut short with a single word from him. They were still longer now than before, but still short.

I think it would be better to push his hair back. He wasn’t ugly, so showing his forehead clearly would probably suit his looks better.

He doesn’t say it out loud. Who would it benefit?

“Sunbae.”

“Yeah.”

“Come over here.”

Choi Sungbin beckoned with his finger. Yang Juwon, who had been staring blankly at him, was soon crawling on the floor towards him. The room was small, so there was no need to stand up, but Choi Sungbin wrinkled his cheek and furrowed his brows.

The way he was crawling was strange. It was perverted. He knew there was no such intention behind it, but that’s how it looked to his eyes.

As he furrowed his brows, the approaching man flinched.

Is there a reason to stop? We are, as Yang Juwon said, dating after all. Choi Sungbin grabbed his forearm and pulled him closer.

The man stumbled at the sudden pull but soon regained his balance. He came closer. They sat so close that their breaths could touch. He faced the man, who had now adjusted his posture. He touched his bangs with his index finger. He gently untangled the short, parted hair.

“…….”

Yang Juwon flinched one of his eyes every time his fingertip touched, but he soon held his place meekly. As always.

The man’s breath scattered faintly. Their eyes met.

The atmosphere was strange.

Choi Sungbin felt a heaviness in his lower body. He wasn’t in his right mind. He had never thought he would have a moment like this with this man.

They had never set the mood. There were no dates, not even the push and pull to gain control. Moreover, wasn’t this a shabby and run down one room apartment?

Have I not been doing it much lately? Is that why? Recently, he had only used his mouth. It was convenient since he could call him out anytime.

Or has his heart softened? It probably started after the day he slept at his house. He admitted that much. He wasn’t an idiot.

That must be why he had sought him out first. If it weren’t for that, he would have been meeting anyone available in his message box by now.

The one who spoke first was, surprisingly, Yang Juwon.

“Choi Sungbin.”

“Yes.”

“Want me to do it for you?”

Yang Juwon glanced down between his legs and then met his eyes again. There was no way he wouldn’t realize what he was talking about.

But something……, something? Being asked first if he wanted him to do it wasn’t an entirely pleasant thing.

Choi Sungbin tilted his head slightly. He smiled, his eyes narrowing thinly.

“Do what for me?”

“……with my mouth. The usual.”

“I’m tired of just sucking now.”

The man’s expression stiffened. If sucking was all it took to solve things, there was no need to have sex. You could just masturbate and be done with it.

So…….

Should I give it a try?

“Sunbae.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to do it?”

The man’s quiet eyes widened. He hesitated with his lips for a moment before asking a beat later.

“Do what?”

Choi Sungbin tucked the man’s short hair behind his ear. It didn’t stay and immediately returned to its original place. He scanned the man who had frozen stiffly.

He’s a man. Not because of his hair length, but a man who is awkward with being taken care of.

He never thought he would be the one to suggest it to another man first. Was there something wrong with him? Or was he bewitched by the inexplicable affection this man was pouring out?

Maybe it’s possible. Choi Sungbin placed a hand on his cheek.

“What do you think it is.”

“…….”

“Have you ever looked up how men do it with each other?”

Yang Juwon bit his lip and shook his head. An inexperienced man was annoying. Not that he seemed to have experience with either men or women.

Choi Sungbin touched the man’s chest. There was nothing to grab, and a small nipple touched his finger through the t-shirt. As he gently rolled it, Yang Juwon frowned.

“Would you get surgery if I told you to? Your chest. There’s nothing to grab.”

He said it and smiled playfully. In truth, he wasn’t one to care about a woman’s body type. As long as the conversation was enjoyable and the atmosphere was good, anyone was fine.

Yang Juwon pulled his upper body back. He seemed to dislike that idea.

“I’m kidding.”

“…….”

“But sunbae, don’t act like a prude.”

He took his hand and placed it between his own legs. Without a command, Yang Juwon obediently moved his hand. He took off the pants himself. The old elastic waistband slid down easily.

He naturally buried his head between his legs.

He knelt and sucked his penis. Choi Sungbin pulled up the man’s t-shirt. He flinched when his fingertips swept down his back.

He had gotten a little more skilled at sucking cock now. Even when he moved his head up and down, his teeth didn’t touch.

He stuck out his tongue and licked from the base of the shaft upwards. Choi Sungbin looked down at the man’s ass. Because he was kneeling, it was low in his line of sight.

“Haa…….”