WOP Ch 2.2

“Let’s get out of here.” Shin Kwonju opened the car door while adding one more word. Ha Joyoon, who looked at him briefly, also gathered his things and got out of the car.

“May I ask why you made such a proposal?”

A voice even lower than the quiet footsteps cautiously asked. “Hah.” A sigh of annoyance escaped from the lips that had walked ahead.

“If you really want a reason, let’s call it sympathy or pity. We’re also compatible.”

Sympathy, pity.

Neither was a word that suited Shin Kwonju. It was ironic that he would propose a sex partner out of such feelings. However, Ha Joyoon accepted his answer as it was.

Under the cold gaze piercing into him, Joyoon slowly examined Shin Kwonju’s face. The stubbornness in his eyes, the sharp look, the flawlessly straight nose, appropriate lips, detailed jaw, hair as black as his eyes, excellent specs and capabilities, and social status – there was nothing lacking or to be desired about him.

…Thus, he would not be hurt like Kang Taejung, nor would he have expectations of him; he must have a solid heart. If there were to be any expectations or pain, it would surely be on Ha Joyoon’s side, not his. So, he would no longer hurt or disappoint anyone. Probably, probably.

“It’s just sex. What more is there?”

Standing in the middle of an empty underground parking lot, he answered with icy eyes.

Just sex, that’s all.

Ha Joyoon hesitated for a moment, then lowered his eyes to the ground. The unique musty smell and chill of the basement touched his skin. There is no love. It’s just sex where they use each other when needed. Whether it’s for comfort or something else.

Rubbing his sinking heart with his palm, Joyoon slowly nodded.

“I see…”

“Take it lightly. Even if we sleep together, it won’t change our professional relationship.”

He realized he shouldn’t look for any meaning in his persistent, strong gaze. Or in the bitter rules of reality. “Senior…” A whisper so faint it could vanish with the wind called out to Shin Kwonju. Not missing the fleeting whisper, the man’s breathing slowed down, feigning calmness.

“Relationships are all predetermined to end…”

“…”

“I didn’t know that well.”

I was foolish, wasn’t I? His gaze, cast far away, was filled with despair.

He had lost Kang Taejung.

And he needed to understand more about trivial, futile, and insignificant relationships. Since he had lost the most important person, he would never meet someone he could love as much again. Even if he gathered all his heart from the bottom, if he acted selfishly, absorbed in photography and ideals like before, no one would stay by his side. No one.

Ha Joyoon thought.

Then, he needed to become lighter. That would be fitting for him. A relationship without seriousness or responsibility, just sex. A light love game. A relationship that doesn’t demand sacrifice or waiting from anyone. A relationship where he couldn’t dare to hope for sincerity. A relationship to be played with lightly and discarded. What relationship could be more fitting for him than that?

“One more question.”

He answered with a shrug. With Shin Kwonju’s permission, Joyoon brought out his inner thoughts in a voice moist with emotion.

“Are you married?”

What Shin Kwonju had mentioned before the relationship wasn’t enough. He needed to know more clearly to act appropriately. He had already learned through many experiences that his hurt didn’t justify hurting someone else.

At the straightforward question, Shin Kwonju stiffened his cheeks. He seemed to think but didn’t hesitate long. His deep voice answered the question.

“I’m divorced.”

That was all he needed to know. There was no need to ask further; the rest was strictly his private domain.

“Give me the conclusion without beating around the bush.”

“Understood. Then, I suppose I won’t mind.”

Without noticing the sorrow slowly seeping into his heart, Ha Joyoon replied with a pale face. Shin Kwonju’s gaze also darkened, but Joyoon was not sharp enough to notice.

The silence continued for a long time. Neither moved from their spot until another car entered the parking lot, sounding its horn.

“Let’s go out.”

“…Yes.”

At the starting point of their rough relationship, only a crude silence served as their congratulations.

❄

「How about having dinner at home this weekend?」

Checking a message from his mother after a long time, Kang Taejung flipped through his diary to mark the weekend schedule. Except for an appointment with Seo Youngwoo on Sunday, he had no other plans.

Come to think of it, it had been quite a while since he had properly visited his parents’ home, using the excuse of being busy. Even after becoming independent, he used to visit at least once or twice a month…

His mother was especially affectionate and tender-hearted. Feeling awkward about his unintended neglect over the past few months, Taejung began typing his reply one letter at a time.

“You’ve lost so much weight. Are you eating at all?”

His mother, placing a pot of soybean paste stew that made your mouth water in the center of the table, asked with concern.

“Is it that bad?”

“Can’t you see it in the mirror? It’s serious. My son.”

At her words, Kang Taejung, who was pouring water, gently touched his cheek. He had definitely lost a lot of weight compared to his prime. Although work had been a continuous issue, the biggest reason was undoubtedly Ha Joyoon’s return. Taejung lowered his eyes in pain as the memories automatically resurfaced.

“I’ve been so busy that I lost track of time.”

Trying to act nonchalant, he placed a piece of well-cooked fish over his rice and chewed. His mother, sitting across from him, rested her chin on her hand, watching her son closely. Each glance was filled with worry and affection for her child.

“Even so, your face shouldn’t look like that.”

“I’ll take better care of myself.”

“How busy can you be that you didn’t even text me until I contacted you?”

Pouting with a slightly resentful tone, she still busily pushed the side dishes toward her son. Taejung let out a deflated laugh and stopped her. At this rate, all the side dishes on the table would end up in front of him.

“What about Dad?”

“He called to say he got caught just as he was about to leave work. He said he’ll be back late tonight. Shall we go out for some beer when he comes?”

“Sounds good.”

“By the way, have you met Yoon?”

His chopsticks paused as he was picking up side dishes. “Taejung?” His mother’s call was ordinary. Startled, Kang Taejung quickly grabbed his water glass to avoid her gaze. She, not thinking much of his state, continued the previous conversation.

“Yoon’s mom said she really wants to see you, but she can’t seem to get in touch with you. Why don’t you visit her tomorrow since you’re here?”

“…Mrs. Yoon?”

“Yes, she told me how much you struggled when Yoon went missing. I was really scared that you would end up like my son. How hard it must have been for you that Hyeseon told you not to come home.”

Hyeseon was Ha Joyoon’s mother. Their relationship traced back to when they were friends before becoming lovers, and even before that, their mothers were friends. The intertwined connections seemed endless. Back when love was everything, it was joyful and happy to have any part connected to Ha Joyoon. But now, it felt more burdensome.

Both mothers had maintained a close relationship for a long time. Despite the end of Kang Taejung and Ha Joyoon’s relationship, it meant they could still be connected in some way. Feeling overwhelmed, Taejung sighed deeply and pushed back his hair that had fallen over his forehead.

“I have plans tomorrow.”

Trying to evade, his mother’s eyes immediately narrowed into triangles.

“Does it take an hour or two? You can just see her for a while in the morning, or stop by after a meal for a quick visit.”

It was a situation where any excuse would be futile. As the silence lengthened and the awkwardness grew, the woman sensed the unusual atmosphere and gently held Taejung’s hand.

“Did you fight with Yoon?”

“……”

“Why did you fight with a friend?”

Friend. A bitter laugh escaped through tightly shut lips. Despite dating for so long, did anyone even know about Ha Joyoon’s relationship with him? Except for Ha Jung-hye, everyone just assumed they were pure friends; no one knew about their love.

The secret they had kept to ensure a safe, long-lasting relationship had now turned into a bitter burden they couldn’t swallow. Maybe the time they spent as lovers was nothing but an illusion they had imagined alone. A relationship that couldn’t be described as breaking up even after parting ways, one that couldn’t be avoided, and could only be explained by saying they had fought—a relationship like that.

“When did you two meet?”

Her voice held no suspicion. After hesitating for a moment, Kang Taejung eventually picked up his chopsticks and resumed eating as if nothing was wrong. The carefully prepared food seemed tasteless, as if his sense of taste had been broken.

“Yes. I saw him briefly on the day I returned. It wasn’t a big deal; we just argued a little.”

“What was there to argue about? Why did you take out all your frustration on Yoon, who’s been through so much?”

“Haha… yes. I was upset and angry, I guess.”

“Don’t be too hard on him. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Yoon was unconscious for a while because he was injured during his disappearance. He didn’t even properly rehabilitate and is still recovering. The boy is completely emaciated.”

Once again, he froze. No matter how much he tried to act nonchalant, he couldn’t hide the deep well of emotions. His arm, reaching for the water glass, trembled. He couldn’t stop thinking about Ha Joyoon’s last appearance. His pale complexion, soaking wet hair, trembling body, and the thin hand desperately holding onto him—everything tormented his heart. After taking a deep breath, Taejung spoke with a composed expression.

“Is he okay now?”

“Still, I’m worried because he hurt his head. He was unconscious for a long time… Hyeseon is worried too. They say he has many aftereffects… You said you saw him, right?”

“…I saw him briefly.”

“He looked so thin and frail; his face was half its usual size. He’s so skinny… seeing him made me cry.”

Head…

A faint sigh escaped. He remembered Ha Joyoon’s words when they met with Seo Youngwoo after returning. He was too overwhelmed by the news that someone he thought was dead had come back and the guilt, shame, and remorse of having to inform Seo Youngwoo about their relationship to listen to Ha Joyoon’s words as carefully as he used to. Although he was shocked to hear that Ha Joyoon had been injured in a gunfight, he would forget that fact whenever he saw him. He couldn’t even make the lame excuse that his memory had been faulty since Ha Joyoon’s disappearance.

“Is he really not doing well?”

“I was too scared to ask. Since he was born, Yoon has been like my own son… I’m afraid of hearing bad news. Meanwhile, the boy insists on working.”

“Work? He’s working?”

“Yes. He started going to work shortly after returning to Korea. Apparently, the company he works for has a branch in Korea.”

Though he asked as if nothing was wrong, his rigid expression didn’t soften. He had assumed Yoon was recuperating at home due to his obviously unrecovered state. His throat dried up from tension. Taejung didn’t even realize how tightly he was gripping the water glass as he angrily shouted.

“He’s not even fully recovered. What work? He should be forced to go to the hospital.”

“Yoon isn’t a child. You can’t force him.”

“That’s not the point!”

At his raised voice, Taejung’s mother flinched and called out his name, Taejung-ah. Only then did Kang Taejung realize he was halfway out of his seat at the dining table. His uncontrollable heart churned as if it was about to overflow. It felt like an unstable state that would spill over with the slightest touch.

Sitting down, he let out a faint sigh and covered his eyes with his palm.

“I’m sorry.”

His voice, filled with apology, was crushed by despair. A storm raged within him. It felt like coarse grains of sand were spreading throughout his entire body.

“What if something goes wrong? He was unconscious for five years. Something must be wrong, for sure. What a reckless thing to do.”

It was the sincere concern he hadn’t been able to convey to the person in question. Let’s go to the hospital. Seeing that pale face without any color, he actually wanted to grab his hand and drag him to the hospital. Not yelling, not lashing out, not being excited by incomprehensible words… but in reality…

“If you’re that worried, why didn’t you call? No matter what caused the fight, make up quickly. Do you think a single fight will break your bond? Apologizing is all about timing. If you miss the timing, no matter how much you regret it later, you can’t fix the relationship. I believe my son is wise. Right?”

As if chastising her son’s foolishness, his mother’s voice became firm. Taejung’s eyes wavered with anxiety as he quickly looked away.

“Yoon won’t quit what he’s doing. You don’t know how precious the time is to see his face and talk to him now, do you?”

“……”

“Before you leave tomorrow, go to Hyeseon’s place, greet her, and make up with Yoon.”

“……”

“Alright?”

The gentle voice of his mother resonated in his heart. Brushing his dry cheek a few more times, Kang Taejung eventually nodded, changing the subject.

The steps towards his room felt heavy. The food he had forced down made him feel so nauseous that it seemed like he would vomit. He felt as if he had severe indigestion.

Beating his chest a couple of times with his fist, Kang Taejung sat down in the desk chair he had used long ago. There was a large window right next to it, offering a clear view of the outside. This was one of his favorite parts of the room. His affectionate gaze, which recalled the past while leaning against the window, soon turned into unbearable pain.

A house with a red roof stood just ten meters away. The small window visible from the front was dark, indicating that the room’s owner had not yet returned. Taejung’s gaze, fixed on the window, began a nostalgic journey through the path of time. It was a journey back to a distant past, more than ten years ago.

It was an easy call to him since they were separated by such a short distance and he could always see his face by opening the window. Leaning on the window sill, they would often joke or make plans to meet up.

When he realized his feelings for his friend were more than just friendship, he avoided Ha Joyoon out of fear but still secretly opened the window at night to catch a glimpse of him.

Despite avoiding him, a day without seeing Joyoon left him so depressed that he couldn’t focus on anything. Until Ha Joyoon eventually barged through the door, unable to stand the distance, Taejung thought he would forever bury his precious friend as his first love in his heart. Taejung still vividly remembered the overwhelming joy when they confirmed their love for each other.

Bitter regret surged within him. Leaving behind the time they loved each other, the final disastrous end kept haunting him.

Ha Joyoon was not always indifferent. At least not to him.

Because of his indifferent attitude and unique aloofness, he was often misunderstood by others, but in reality, he was a deeply thoughtful and considerate person. He just couldn’t express the myriad of thoughts in his head into words.

During their younger years, Joyoon’s inability to express his feelings properly always made Taejung upset, and he constantly nagged him about it. Do you love me? Do you like me? Looking back, it was very ignorant and selfish. Since he didn’t know how to wait for his answers, it took many trials and errors to recognize the difference between Ha Joyoon as a friend and as a lover. As they bickered and tried to understand each other, Joyoon eventually opened his heart to him, and they both became immersed in each other.

He thought love and being loved were all there was to it. He thought that would be enough. However, as he grew older and began to understand society, Taejung wanted more. He wanted to be Joyoon’s priority, and under the bright sunlight, he wanted those beautiful amber eyes to only look at him. He wished Joyoon could give up important things for his sake at times. Pretending to care for and embrace him, but in truth, he wanted him to settle down and always stay by his side.

Ha Joyoon was keen when it came to matters involving him. He must have noticed his growing possessiveness and the corresponding guilt. Knowing it troubled and saddened him, he often cornered Joyoon, indirectly forcing him to choose between him and photography. It was around that time Joyoon seriously turned his eyes towards conflict zones overseas.

“Don’t go. You can work here in Korea.”

“Taejung…”

“Waiting is too hard. Yoon… can’t you just stay by my side?”

“Taejung, can’t you just let me go…”

Fragments of the past choked him. The last few months before Joyoon went missing were filled with sadness, trouble, and pain in his memory. And it was all because of him. Even though they were each other’s first love and believed they loved each other more than anything, he was always forcing his love on Joyoon.

His lover always seemed to be drifting somewhere. Taejung knew well that the only things Joyoon was truly attached to were him and photography. Joyoon tried to balance both, but Taejung didn’t allow it. He was always tormented by the anxiety that Joyoon would leave him anytime to chase his dreams. He couldn’t hold him properly, nor could he let go.

It was a stubborn attachment and foolish love.

Screeech—

He pushed back his chair and stood up. He noticed the box piled up under his desk. It had been left untouched for months, with a layer of dust covering it. Hovering around it, his hesitant hand finally opened the lid as if he had made up his mind. Inside the box were documents and letters, some neatly organized, others hastily scribbled notes.

After Ha Joyoon went missing, he obsessively collected anything that might be a clue connecting him to Joyoon. Even the smallest thing was gathered compulsively, and he constantly reached out to anyone slightly related, begging for help to the point of annoyance. He didn’t feel any sting of the hurtful words thrown by a diplomat irritated by his excessive obsession. Pride couldn’t compare to the pain of loss.

He couldn’t lead a normal life. His parents, unable to watch any longer, tried to stop him, but he blindly ignored them, searching for Joyoon. Despite all that, he couldn’t find a single piece of news. Eventually, he gave up hope of Joyoon being alive, but still wished to find at least a bone fragment or a handful of ashes.

One year passed, then two, and five years went by. At some point, he began to feel emotionally numb as if something inside him had broken. He couldn’t feel joy, anger, sorrow, or pleasure. It was a continuous grey streak, as if all emotions had faded. Becoming indifferent to everything, Taejung gradually accepted Ha Joyoon’s death in his heart. It was a mechanical understanding and recognition. The human heart, love, was so futile and insignificant.

The wretched conclusion of my pathetic love.

After silently staring at the box, Kang Taejung carefully closed the lid, just as he had opened it a moment before. His strong grip showed his determination to let go of the past. Tears had long since dried up.

Suddenly, Seo Youngwoo came to mind.

Despite starting off on the wrong foot, he was now someone who stayed by his side. The person who forgave him unconditionally despite his terrible mistake. He could spend his entire life apologizing and it wouldn’t be enough. He had to embrace his wounded body and heart with all his might.

It might not be the same as his love for Ha Joyoon, but Taejung believed that responsibility could also become love. He hoped that mutual trust and responsibility towards each other could create another form of love.

Having been accustomed only to a love filled with anxiety, the absolute and stable love from Seo Youngwoo was difficult to resist. His cowardly heart whispered endless rationalizations, trembling as he clung to the box.

At that moment, a light came on in the window across the street. The window was still closed, but it wasn’t hard to guess who the silhouette reflected in the illuminated window was. Taejung stood frozen like a fossil, staring at the figure across from him. All kinds of indescribable emotions played across his face. Gradually, a delicate shadow began to approach the window.

Without hesitation, Taejung quickly closed the window of his room and stood up. Since the relationship had already ended, he thought it was best not to think about the person beyond the window anymore. He thought it was the right thing to do. His tightly closed eyes trembled with agony. It was a decision made possible because he couldn’t yet fathom the pain every small choice would later bring him.

❄

Keeping one’s eyes and ears open to respond quickly to events is the fate of everyone involved in media. News agencies and newspapers must create and distribute breaking news articles quickly, and due to their nature, they divide tasks down to the second. As people moved busily in their respective departments and footsteps echoed across the floor in a sort of harmony, the view beyond the half-drawn blinds was as calm and gentle as its owner.

“What’s so fascinating?”

The man who had approached unnoticed poured coffee into an empty cup. The graceful movements caused the wrinkles in his shirt to smooth and then wrinkle again repeatedly. The aroma of the coffee beans filled the entire office. From the moment he entered until now, the tension that had been tightening his heart began to gradually ease. The subtle scent on his tongue was quite pleasing.

“It smells nice. I’m not good at distinguishing quality coffee, though…”

“It would be strange if you could.”

Shin Kwonju, who had seated himself beside him, scoffed arrogantly. As Ha Joyoon scowled at the sudden annoyance, the man sipping his coffee shot him a knowing smile.

“Is there anything you know besides photography?”

“…Can you really only think of photography despite liking it so much?”

“Before and now, you only seem to know about that.”

When Ha Joyoon tried to comment on the past, he stopped and sealed his lips shut. He couldn’t help but recall the days he had been thoroughly utilized.

“Back then, you made me work too much.”

“Did I? I apologize.”

“I can’t work like that anymore.”

“I don’t intend to make you, so don’t get ahead of yourself. Don’t you have any interviews scheduled today?”

“Today, I only have selection work.”

“Don’t overexert yourself. I don’t want to have to deal with a corpse here.”

Laughing, Shin Kwonju shifted his gaze back to the documents. True to his meticulous nature, he didn’t miss a single character on the paper. His neatly combed hair and straight nose still stood out. He suddenly remembered rumors that some colleagues in the office had feelings for him. Did he know? Even if he did, it wouldn’t change his attitude.

For a long time, the other remained silent. Occasionally, the sound of papers rustling and cups clinking were the only noises in the office. After calling him to the office during work hours and then leaving him sitting there while he reviewed documents, Ha Joyoon finally spoke calmly.

“Why did you call me when you’re busy?”

“…I’m busy too. Just wait a little longer while I finish this.”

Despite the lack of sincerity, he answered steadily. It was a stark contrast to their previously awkward and uncomfortable relationship.

Although it had only happened once, there was an unmistakable sexual tension between them, born from knowing each other’s bare skin and scent and having been intimately connected. It was both amusing and painful to realize that a relationship could change through the connection of bodies rather than hearts.

How fleeting human emotions can be. Regardless of his lingering feelings for Kang Taejung, the days continued to pass, and his heart flowed in various directions. Sipping the fragrant coffee, Joyoon pondered the direction and nature of his relationship with Shin Kwonju.

“Usually, this wouldn’t happen in a professional setting.”

The sound of papers rustling—finally, Shin Kwonju quietly pushed a leather-bound approval sheet to the side.

“I don’t think I’ll have time to meet separately this week, so I called you. I also need to leave soon.”

Given his nature, Joyoon felt uneasy about what he might say next. Sensing his thoughts, Shin Kwonju smiled slightly and took a sip from his now lukewarm cup.

“Previously, I wasn’t in my right mind. I was a bit impulsive. It wasn’t like me.”

Although curious about his concept of “previously,” the thought didn’t last long. His smooth hand drummed rhythmically on the teakwood desk.

“So, I think we need to define our relationship properly.”

“Relationship…” Ha Joyoon echoed part of Shin Kwonju’s words blankly. Suddenly, he recalled that Shin Kwonju had proposed being sex partners, and he had impulsively agreed.

Noticing the discomfort on his pale face, Shin Kwonju’s eyes curved in an unreadable way. The atmosphere, which had been somewhat relaxed, quickly turned cold and maintained a frosty air. Ha Joyoon’s face appeared particularly white and pale in the confusion.

“I don’t quite understand what you mean.”

His light-colored eyes trembled with unease. Misinterpreting him, Shin Kwonju shrugged and laughed.

“Don’t be too anxious. The office is well soundproofed. The windows aren’t regular glass, and the blinds are drawn. It’s not unusual for me to call in other employees privately, so no one will think it’s strange.”

“No, no, that’s not it.”

Feeling awkward, he rubbed his cheek and shook his head. He wasn’t one to care much about others’ opinions. His current, awkward anxiety stemmed solely from his own mind. He still wasn’t used to Shin Kwonju’s style of abruptly bringing up topics he wanted to avoid.

Calmly placing the empty cup on the table, Shin Kwonju began to explain his intention.

“We may have crossed the line awkwardly, but you and I, Ha Joyoon, are not in an ordinary relationship. I trust that accepting my proposal means you have considered this.”

The weighty, low voice made their relationship seem cold and inorganic. There was a sense of wariness that this might become genuine. The unfamiliar sensation made Joyoon stare at the man silently. What did he mean by an unusual relationship?

“It’s not difficult. Since our relationship didn’t start based on typical romantic feelings, it’s just necessary to manage and conclude it properly.”

Shin Kwonju’s intention to formalize the conditions of their relationship was clear. A relationship with a defined start and end. Probably, some of his past partners failed to adhere to such conditions, leading to foolish conclusions. The core of the conversation likely derived from factors established through his experiences.

No one needs to take responsibility for someone else’s emotions. No one can be responsible for another person’s life and emotions. This was the conclusion Ha Joyoon came to after experiencing profound pain.

The heart is like a double-edged sword: when the handle is pointed at you, there is nothing in the world to fear. But when the direction changes and the blade is aimed at you, it shows you the end of the world. One devastating failure was enough.

Although it wasn’t something to be overly pessimistic about, he learned about the flaws and weaknesses in words like “forever” and “absolute emotion.” He tightened his grip on the hand resting on his thigh.

“We just need to talk about the parts we need to be careful about and stick to those parts. It’s like a safety device.”

“……”

“It’s not too difficult.”

He shrugged with a graceful expression. Although his words were harsh, the sharp edges he had shown as a boss seemed to have softened. Perhaps it was because they had been physically intimate. A self-deprecating thought slipped out.

His first relationship, which was heavier and more serious than anything in the world, had ended in a disastrous failure. Now, what lay before him might be the lightest relationship in the world. Unable to deal with the hollow space in his heart, he didn’t avoid Shin Kwonju’s temptation and ended up in a relationship. Since that was all there was to it, there was no reason to get hurt again.

However, for some reason, Shin Kwonju’s attempt to draw clear boundaries didn’t sit well with Joyoon. Did someone fail to keep the rules with him before? What kind of end did they meet? Unable to understand his own strange feelings, Joyoon furrowed his brow.

“Have you always been like this?”

“Of course. It might be a little unpleasant at first, but it’s better to be careful. Above all…”

The man paused for a moment, resting his chin on his hand. His thick, straight eyebrows furrowed. After a moment of hesitation, he continued with a somewhat displeased look.

“Honestly, this is the first time I’ve had this kind of relationship with someone connected to me professionally or academically. The same goes for my partner. Moreover, I know your health isn’t great.”

“……”

“I’m just as bewildered as you, Ha Joyoon.”

The rougher tone than usual revealed that he, too, was not used to the sudden relationship. If it was so confusing, they could end it, but Shin Kwonju’s desire to continue the relationship with troublesome conditions was hard to understand. Could such a relationship have any meaning?

Growing tired of pondering, Ha Joyoon relaxed his body and leaned back. A weary sigh escaped him.

The distant cityscape beyond the front window unfolded faintly. The densely packed buildings and the ceaseless flow of cars looked like toy blocks. The oppressive feeling, as if the entire city was converging endlessly towards a point, choked him. It felt like he was being whipped to run at full speed.

“You seem familiar with this kind of thing.”

“…Not to that extent. What do you take me for?”

The man sighed and rubbed his forehead. The ring on his straight finger caught Joyoon’s eye once again. Shin Kwonju, aware of his gaze, straightened his posture and clasped his hands. He suddenly recalled the mention of a divorce.

Even relationships bound by legal ties could end. He thought about how much effort it took to form and maintain a relationship between two people.

His relationship with Kang Taejung ended because they reached the limits of their efforts. The man sitting next to him had also once loved someone sincerely, married them, watched that love fade, and ultimately chose separation when there was no will to continue. If so, how should the other person, who might still have feelings left, be settled? What constitutes a beautiful, clean break that doesn’t leave scars in each other’s memories?

Biting into the unending bitterness, Ha Joyoon muttered blankly.

“If you’re doing this because you think I’ll cling, don’t worry.”

“That’s not the reason.”

Shin Kwonju replied firmly, shaking his head.

“Since we’re already here, wouldn’t it be better for both of us to continue the relationship more wisely for the remaining time? The same goes for when it ends.”

“Is there ever a clean end? The only end I know was the worst.”

“…Just listen. Stop cutting me off.”

Shin Kwonju, who had briefly hardened his expression at the self-deprecating words, spoke soothingly. His expression was not pleasant, with furrowed brows, squinted eyes, and tightly closed lips.

“Sorry, but I’m a bit tired…”

“This won’t take long.”

As Shin Kwonju struggled to decide whether to give up or persist, Joyoon couldn’t help but smile quietly.

“Ha Joyoon.”

A cold call finally fell, and Joyoon acknowledged that even this much patience was unusual for Shin Kwonju. Joyoon nodded indifferently.

“Alright. Go ahead.”

“……”

After a deep sigh, Shin Kwonju’s low voice began to speak at a moderate pace. The content included the rules to be followed in their partnership and the consequences of not adhering to them. However, unable to focus for long, Ha Joyoon turned his gaze to the window.

The city outside was too stifling.

In this place where various forms of violence existed, people lived fiercely every day. Some found value within it, while others fell or crumbled without finding any sparkle. Joyoon wanted to be free from all the regrets that bound him like shackles.

His closed eyes trembled quietly.

❄

“Ah, I finally set the meeting date!”

The man, who had just finished a call, stood up and cheered, raising both arms. The employees, hearing his joyful exclamation, turned to look one by one.

“Oh, finally? Great job, Assistant Manager Min.”

“Wow, what kind of meeting took so long to schedule?”

“Don’t even mention it. They kept dodging us because they were so busy. It’s either they agree or not…”

“You did a good job, Kyungsu. Let the team leader know.”

“I’ll report it when he comes in.”

Kyungsu Min grumbled for a while longer before leaning towards the person sitting next to him. Though he seemed grumpy, a smile he couldn’t hide played at the corners of his lips.

“I scheduled it for the 28th, Youngwoo. I’ll report to the team leader, so prepare the materials and come with me. Even though it’s the Korean branch, they oversee Asia. While we’re there, it’d be good to get a list of their affiliated reporters. We’ll need to decide whether to plan with a regional focus for Asia or, like before, categorize by topic without regional divisions. But for now, let’s just consider this the first meeting and keep it light.”

“Understood.”

Quickly responding, Seo Youngwoo immediately began flipping through the document files. It was welcome news as the schedule had been dragging due to TPA’s lack of cooperation. Once the first direct meeting took place, the pace of work would naturally quicken. There was a lot to prepare.

Thinking about the successfully concluded Wighton photo exhibition plan made his heart race. It was another chance to gain public attention. He wanted to finish it brilliantly if possible.

Holding his phone to share the good news, his hand paused. Without realizing it, he had dialed Kang Taejung’s number.

“……”

The undisguised anxiety showed clearly on Seo Youngwoo’s face. TPA was the agency where Taejung’s former lover was affiliated. Although he mainly worked in Middle Eastern conflict zones and wasn’t part of the Asian branch, being directly affiliated with TPA had its own significance.

He reassured himself that it wasn’t his field of activity and that he was currently resting for treatment, so they wouldn’t likely cross paths. Nonetheless, the anxiety didn’t easily subside. Even without an official list of reporters, he was likely to be included as a correspondent in the conflict zones.

Seeing news photos, he couldn’t help but think of that person. He wanted to draw a line, insisting it was just work, but controlling emotions wasn’t as easy as it seemed. While planning the Wighton photo exhibition, the lingering image of Ha Joyoon in the photos always haunted Seo Youngwoo.

He knew that Kang Taejung hadn’t completely forgotten about that person. Yet, he also knew Taejung was trying his best for him.

Taejung was a kind person.

However, being in the position of Taejung’s lover brought significant changes in Seo Youngwoo’s values. He wished Taejung’s kindness would be exclusive to him.

In the past, he had hovered around as a mere good junior, relying on Taejung’s kind nature towards everyone, harboring unrequited love. Human emotions are selfish to this extent. He feared that, as he had once done, Taejung might extend sympathy or pity towards that person. He was someone who had only recently decided to settle down with him. His honest intention was to minimize any factors that could shake him.

“Seo Youngwoo, are you feeling unwell?”

A man who had been leaning on the partition, chatting, looked at him with concern. Hastily returning to reality, Seo Youngwoo waved his hand quickly.

“Oh, no. I was just feeling a bit tired.”

“Take a break if you need to. There’s plenty of time.”

“Yes, I’ll proceed for now.”

To hide his frown, Seo Youngwoo quickly bowed his head. Once this exhibition was over, he thought about suggesting a trip together. His kind lover would surely consider it and agree. A bittersweet smile appeared on his slightly exposed lips.

❄

The weekday office was either bustling or quiet. His gaze, checking the footage from the night’s work, was different from usual. Just as he was about to become immersed in the monitor, the phone on his desk vibrated incessantly. Without taking his eyes off the monitor, Ha Joyoon answered the call.

— [Yoon, are you on your way?]

The caller was a correspondent from the UK with whom he often partnered. They were scheduled to meet at the site this afternoon, so Ha Joyoon answered without much thought.

[I’m still at the office. I’m about to leave.]

— [You might not need to come. The briefing got canceled, and we’re heading back straight from the previous site.]

[Canceled, not postponed?]

— [It’s canceled for today, but it might be rescheduled later this week.]

Busy hands checked the desk calendar and scheduler. His brows furrowed at the disrupted schedule.

[Got it. Thanks for letting me know.]

— [No problem. See you at the office.]

Ending the call, he stretched out in his chair. Blinking slowly due to sleepiness, Joyoon checked his scheduler. He originally planned to take a day off tomorrow, but it seemed he would need to take a half-day today. He wasn’t sure if he could make the appointment without a reservation.

‘Should I call?’

He thought of a schoolmate whose name he barely remembered and pondered. He had long run out of the medication prescribed last time due to frequent use for his recurring headaches.

After a moment’s hesitation, Joyoon roughly organized his schedule and headed to the central desk. Between the piles of documents, a man was hunched over, switching frantically between papers and the monitor. He looked too busy to interrupt.

“Editor.”

“Oh, Ha Joyoon, what’s the matter?”

A man with a somewhat round and kind face adjusted his glasses and looked up. Like his appearance, his personality was also gentle. After hesitating for a moment, Joyoon spoke.

“I just received a call from Edina that the briefing on the Min Kyunghwan Gate scheduled for this afternoon has been canceled.”

“Oh, really?”

“They said it’s been postponed. We’ll need to adjust the schedule for this week, so would it be alright if I took a half-day this afternoon?”

“This afternoon? Is something wrong?”

“I need to get a medical check-up and rehab treatment. I had an appointment for tomorrow, but I don’t know when the briefing will be rescheduled…”

“Oh no. I’m sorry. I should’ve considered that. Just head out right away. Just say you’re out for an external appointment. Why try to bear it alone?”

“But still…”

Seeing Ha Joyoon hesitating, the editor laughed heartily and waved his hand.

“When the director brought you here, he mentioned that you needed rehab but were dragged here as a temporary replacement. He told us to accommodate you as much as possible. According to the director, you should rest for a few months, but we know you’re pushing yourself because of our bureau’s situation. Don’t worry about it and head out. I’ll let the director know when he returns.”

Standing up, Ha Joyoon recalled the editor’s words. It was a bit surprising to hear such a statement from someone who seemed like he would continue on his way even if Joyoon collapsed in front of him. It felt different hearing it through someone else, even though he had been told directly when he first started.

“By the way, Ha Joyoon, do you have time on the 28th of this month? Wednesday.”

He thought about his shooting schedule. It seemed manageable, so Ha Joyoon readily answered.

“Yes, I do.”

“Then please keep your afternoon free. You know about the Wighton photo exhibition, right?”

“Yes…”

The editor, adjusting his glasses that had slipped down his nose, sighed in relief.

“There’s a photo exhibition organized by foreign news agencies, and we’re next in line after Wighton. It’s absurd.”

The previously calm tone became slightly agitated. Seeing the competitive spirit clearly displayed on the editor’s face, Ha Joyoon smiled and nodded. Indeed. The man, feeling encouraged by Joyoon’s quiet agreement, slapped his palm on the desk.

“They rely on finance these days. We are the best in confronting societal issues. Anyway, the planning side requested a meeting, so we plan to have a meeting between their people and the reporters working at our bureau. Most of them are foreign reporters, but you’re a special case who’s worked both overseas and domestically. Both I and the director recommend you. I think you’d be very helpful in shaping the planning direction for the Asia side.”

“But my working area wasn’t Asia.”

“Oh, that doesn’t matter. Hundreds of works by affiliated photojournalists will be showcased. Since it’s about showing the activities and photos of our bureau’s reporters, the working area isn’t significant.”

“Understood.”

“Alright, thank you.”

Checking the time, the editor was startled and waved his hand at Ha Joyoon.

“See you tomorrow then. Hurry on now.”

“Thank you for your consideration.”

……

Before turning away, Joyoon glanced at the empty office door of Shin Kwonju. Half the long day had already passed.

His hands were busy packing. He was thankful he hadn’t thrown away the business card given to him by Lim Dohyun. After a difficult call, Lim readily said he would make time and invited him to visit immediately. Despite the accommodation, he had to hurry to make it in time.

After roughly organizing, Joyoon greeted his colleagues and quickly left the office. His steps towards the elevator were more hurried than usual. Even though he was rushing, to others, it would seem like he was just moving slightly faster than usual.

1, 2, 3… Watching the slowly rising numbers intently, Joyoon bit his dry lips slightly. Just as he tried to hurriedly enter the elevator, a hand grabbed his arm, stopping him.

“Where are you going?”

“Senior?”

Caught off guard, Joyoon faced Shin Kwonju. They had been together in his officetel last night, so it was a reunion after half a day. During this time, the closed elevator had quickly descended. Uh, uh… A slow groan naturally escaped. The man, showing no intention of letting go, waited silently for an answer. Unsure of how to respond, Joyoon soon realized that no matter what, Shin Kwonju would find out about his early leave and decided to tell the truth.

“I’m heading to a medical check-up. I had an appointment… Due to a change in the interview schedule, I had to reschedule urgently for this afternoon…”

“Oh.”

Seemingly an unexpected answer, one of his eyebrows slightly arched and then relaxed. After a brief silence, Shin Kwonju nodded shortly and pressed the elevator button.

Even as the numbers changed, he didn’t move an inch from Joyoon’s side. Joyoon watched Shin Kwonju’s profile curiously. His eyes, focused on a point, seemed especially different today.

“Aren’t you going in?”

Ignoring the question, when the elevator doors opened, Shin Kwonju took Joyoon’s arm and entered without a word.

“Senior?”

“Let’s go.”

Uh… As the door closed, leaving the two of them in the narrow space, Shin Kwonju pressed the floor button with an indifferent look and then stared straight ahead as if nothing had happened, still holding Joyoon’s arm.

“Let’s go together.”

As they neared the destination floor, he suddenly spoke.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re going to the hospital, right? You don’t have a car.”

“I can use public transportation.”

“At this time, there will be a lot of people. Which hospital is it?”

“…Hangang University Hospital.”

There was little hesitation. Shin Kwonju was a man who would do as he pleased. Ha Joyoon answered in a somewhat drained tone.

“When is the appointment?”

“Before the closing time. The attending doctor is a former classmate, so he’s accommodating me.”