Chapter 23: I Want to Sleep

“Just to confirm, is it true that he said his Heat hasn’t occurred for months now?”

Rodrick nodded with a, “Mm.” Urien hadn’t specified how long, but from his words, it was clear that it hadn’t occurred for a very long time.

“Emotional stress is one of the factors why Heat doesn’t occur. With it comes a weakened body functions, after all.”

“Will that be life-threatening to him?”

“No. Not having Heat occurring won’t be detrimental to one’s body. In fact, Heat puts a considerable strain on one’s body.”

Heat was pretty much the equivalent of mating seasons for Omegas. It was often accompanied by intense fever, which would be grueling for their bodies if there wasn’t an Alpha to ease it.

But, that wasn’t what Urien was dealing with right now.

“If he’s stressed enough to the point that his Heat doesn’t occur, then the problem is serious. It’s probably related to the loss of his appetite.”

“…”

“Something terrible probably has happened to the Madam…”

It was late at night when they finished talking. After telling a butler to see the doctor’s carriage off, Rodrick returned to his quarter.

He then went to his study—the same room where Urien took care of the beehive—and performed his usual breathing routine; a short inhale, and a deep, long exhale. The room’s dim light flickered as he did. He closed his eyes, but the voices that entered his ears made him open them again.

Once again, he took another breath before drinking some water. Then, he took the contract he had with Urien from the drawer and ran the letters on the contract period between his fingertips.

‘…Maybe this marriage is difficult for him, after all?’

There was a year and a half yet to the contract. The contract was valid until the summer of the year after the next.

By then, he’d surely be able to secure a treaty with Barca. He was dead set on fulfilling that goal and making it so that Barca wouldn’t be a threat to the kingdom during his next trip there.

After that was done, Urien would be free.

But, would he be able to endure living in the duke’s estate until then?

“——It’s snowing tonight, so it’s colder than ever before. Take care of yourself.”

“…Yes.”

That night, Rodrick visited Urien’s room as soon as he got back to his estate.

Earlier in the morning, he went to the royal capital and he got back so late at night that he was unable to check if Urien had a proper dinner. The duchy had only gotten colder since it started snowing a week ago. On his way home, in his carriage, he had been worried that Urien might be freezing to death.

When he arrived, he saw Urien, sitting on his bed, reading a book. Though he didn’t say ‘Welcome home,’ to Rodrick, the latter was just relieved to see him safe.

“Don’t worry. The room’s warm enough.”

“But it’s snowing outside.”

“Yes it is.”

According to Ella’s report, Urien hadn’t stepped a foot outside all day today. When winter first began, he’d still go to the shed, but nowadays, he didn’t even go there.

“…Was it warmer back at the barony than here?”

‘Maybe the duchy’s climate doesn’t suit him.’

‘There was that storm too. It’s understandable if he were to hate this place.’

But then, Urien mustered up a calm response.

“Not really. The barony’s no different from here.”

He muttered as he closed his eyes tightly. His tone was flat, but there was a sarcastic flavor to it, which made another question appear on Rodrick’s head.

‘No different from here… Does that mean he hates the barony too?’

Urien wasn’t the baron’s legal wife’s son. The investigator Rodrick had sent to the Martritz reported that he rarely even showed up in the baron’s estate.

This made him wonder, how was he treated in that house?

“What are you gonna do after the contract period is over?”

“I’ll go somewhere warmer.”

That was an answer he had heard before. It was just, back when he first heard it, Urien was full of energy as he was wandering through the forest.

“I see. So you don’t have any plan to return to the baron’s estate?”

“The baroness wouldn’t want to take me in even if I do.”

From that, it was clear that the rift between him and the baroness was deep. Rodrick had heard some information about how he was treated in the barony by Martritz themselves, hence why he didn’t have much issues with Urien’s plan to ‘go somewhere warmer’ after the contract ended.

After all, it was in the interest of both Urien’s and the Martritz’ Family.

Urien seemed to know that the Martritz wouldn’t welcome him back too.

Then, at that moment, words slipped from between Urien’s lips.

“I’m not her son after all.”

“…You won’t go back to your real mother?”

“No. She’s passed away already.”

Rodrick remained silent. He hadn’t known what happened to Urien’s mother.

‘I see. So she’s passed away already.’ This was new information, but it wasn’t the reason why he pursed his lips.

“I came to the Martritz after my mother passed away… Huh? No, she passed away a little after I came to the Martritz.”

‘Are his memories muddled? He seems to be unable to grasp the timeline.’

After he finished speaking, Urien opened his eyes slightly and stared at Rodrick’s fingertips. His gaze was so intense that the top of Rodrick’s head felt hot. He quickly put his hands behind his back before saying.

“Urien.”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t it cold?”

“…”

Urien then crawled under his blanket, lying down on his bed before replying, “It isn’t.”

“I see. Are you hungry?”

“Not particularly…”

“Then, do you want anything?”

Urien, who had closed his eyes again at some point, opened his eyelids.

A glint of purple shone from that gap.

“I want to sleep.”

That soft murmur made Rodrick catch his breath.

He stared at Urien’s profile with wide eyes and before long, Urien closed his eyes again and fell asleep.

For a while there, he stared at Urien’s face in a daze. Eventually, the other man’s faint breathing sounds entered his ears and that was when he regained his composure.

He had a feeling that there was more to his words; he didn’t just want to sleep.

——To sleep without worrying about anything.

That was probably what he wished for.

…Rodrick had no plan to get involved with this ‘wife’ of his.

Nor did he plan to have the Edel House to form a deep emotional bond with him.

In fact, he planned to keep as much distance to him as possible. If possible, it’d be best to make the man resent him.

But, he never imagined that the maids would do that instead of him.

Now, he decided to not let such an incident happen again.

He had to bring Urien to a warm city safely, no matter what.

After all, that was all that he could do for him.

He watched Urien’s sleeping face for a few more seconds before leaving the room. Thanks to the winter air, the estate’s hallway was cold. As he walked through it, it felt as if the cold was eating him from the toes up.

Winter was seeping it, ready to encroach the land.

Every single day, he worried about Urien, fearing that he might just fall prey to the winter.

‘Is his room warm enough? Has he been eating?’ Such questions kept popping up in his head as he visited Urien’s room every night to check up on him and to dine with him to make sure that he ate.

Urien didn’t seem annoyed, his composure remained stable.

Once their marriage contract was over, Rodrick swore to send him to a warm, safe city. At first, he thought to just give him money, but now he knew that wouldn’t be enough. Since the Martritz wouldn’t be interested in taking care of him anymore, he thought of leaving him to a noble with ties to the duke’s family.

Which left the question, what about the name called ‘Marx’?

‘Would Urien need him? Does he live in the barony? If so, I could find him and bring him to Urien.’

As more time passed, Urien’s complexion grew worse. It was as if the winter only affected him and him alone, turning him into a dead man walking. Rodrick always thought that he was always listless, but his listlessness grew way worse now. It was as if his consciousness was trying to detach itself from reality, as if he wished to sleep and never wake up again. 

‘Will he even be able to survive the winter?’

“——Lord Rodrick.”

But then, all his worries suddenly disappeared.

“These sweets are tasty!”

One afternoon, when he visited Urien’s room during his break, he found Urien enjoying his tea time while reading, surrounded by smiling maids.

——It really happened out of nowhere.

The arrival of spring probably didn’t have anything to do with the change as it happened way too sudden and drastic. As the snow that covered the forest melted away and the day started to get warmer, Urien’s bright smile returned to his lips.

A week had passed since then, but he was still as cheerful as the first day.

“There’s chocolate inside these cookies.”

“Mm.”

“How did they bake it? Did the chocolate melt when they baked it?”

“I don’t know.”

“C’mon, tell me, Lord Rodrick. How did they bake it?”

“I wouldn’t know. Ask the chefs yourself.”

“Okay. I wanna learn how to bake it.”

He then invited Rodrick, “If you’re free, wanna go outside with me?” Almost immediately, Ella chimed in with, “I’ll pack up some cookies.” The mood between them felt like they were about to go on a picnic. 

A soft, warm spring breeze was blowing through the garden. It was a little strong and it messed with Urien’s brown hair, but he didn’t seem to mind it. Instead, he stood firmly on both his legs, looking up at the trees.

The trees that looked so desolate during the winter were now filled with flower buds. With a smile on his face, Urien pointed at them.

“They’re gonna bloom soon.”

“…Seems so.”

‘Just, what’s going on?’

Things just didn’t make any sense to Rodrick.

And yet…

He didn’t deny that the smile on his face looked extremely lovely.