EGRV 18 | Sapphire Bowl

【That kind of emotion and state, he didn’t want it, and even less did he deserve it.】

After returning home late that night, Chi Yu put down his phone and slept for a solid twelve hours. When he opened his eyes, the sun was high in the sky. Because he was so utterly exhausted, the moment he closed his eyes, he had fallen into a pitch-black void. Thankfully, he had no dreams.

Chi Yu was woken up by a series of WeChat messages. He picked up his phone; the contact wasn’t the person he was thinking of.

It was Xiang Vivi. She said that after a night of observation, Gao Yi’s condition had stabilized. An X-ray of his thigh revealed an open fracture, and he had undergone surgery immediately. Gao Yi was young, after all, and years of skiing had made him strong. After just one night’s rest, he had regained some of his spirit. Chi Yu canceled his other plans for the day and decided to drive to the hospital to see him.

After settling back into the driver’s seat, for the first time in his life, Chi Yu had to move the seat forward a notch. He was once again reminded of the series of events from the previous night.

When he had woken up from the nightmare, the car was already parked in front of his house, and the hood was cold to the touch. Liang Muyi must have turned off the engine for at least twenty minutes to half an hour. In such a cold winter, with no heat in the car, he had driven him home and then waited that long before waking him.

He knew that Liang Muyi had always been a generous person, always open and accepting of him as a friend. It was he who had failed to respond in kind. If he truly saw him as just an ordinary student, there would be no need to care so much. Chi Yu knew what came after caring too much. It was a dangerous abyss, one he hadn’t ventured near for many years. That kind of emotion and state, he didn’t want it, and even less did he deserve it.

When Gao Yi saw Chi Yu, he grabbed his hand and kept thanking him. Xiang Vivi later told him, after Gao Yi woke up, that Chi Yu had waited a whole night in the rescue team’s small dark room, and then followed them out at the crack of dawn to search the Gem Bowls area by area, without even wearing a thick jacket. If not for his persistence, Gao Yi might have been rescued much later.

Chi Yu was embarrassed by his thanks and instead asked about Gao Yi’s companion. “What was the deal with Zhang Chenxiao? His transceiver… could it have run out of battery?”

Gao Yi sighed. “He told me he had just checked it in the morning. He only discovered it was dead when he took it out. I asked him, and it turns out he was using rechargeable batteries…”

“Fucking hell…” Hearing about his incompetent partner’s performance, the fire that had been building up in Chi Yu’s stomach finally had an outlet, and he couldn’t help but curse. As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized Xiang Vivi was still in the room, and he felt a bit embarrassed. “Sorry, Vivi-jie.”

Transceivers require alkaline batteries because only alkaline batteries have a linear power consumption; the power level they display is accurate. Rechargeable batteries are unpredictable.

Xiang Vivi said, “It’s fine. I cursed him out in my head yesterday, much worse than you did.”

Gao Yi said helplessly, “The rescue guys told me later that the whole time, he was only a hundred meters away from me, just over a small hill, and he still couldn’t find me. He’s just lucky he ran into some others who were skiing in the trees today. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have known where to look for him, really…”

Chi Yu’s expression was still grim. “A few weeks ago, my friends and I had to pull him out of a tree well with our own hands. He didn’t even have his safety trio with him then. I should have made it clear when I saw you that day. He’s not just playing with his own life, he’s playing with yours too.”

It was the victim who seemed the most magnanimous. “He didn’t do it on purpose. I’m sure he was scared to death this time. You live and you learn; he won’t dare to do something like this again.”

Sensing that his anger hadn’t subsided, Gao Yi gestured for him to come closer. Xiang Vivi, seeing he had something to say, made an excuse to go out and buy some food and left the room.

Only then did Gao Yi half-jokingly say to him, “Instructor Chi, cool down a bit. I’m still here, aren’t I?”

His gaze was full of concern and sincerity, so much so that it almost burned Chi Yu’s eyes.

Gao Yi knew his personality. Anger was a small part of it; beneath the anger was guilt. He was the one who spoke first. “You’re thinking too much, Chi Yu. Don’t overthink it. We’re both okay, and that’s the best possible outcome. I won’t ski with him anymore in the future, how about that?”

Chi Yu still didn’t speak.

Gao Yi had been under general anesthesia for his surgery, and the effects hadn’t worn off completely, so he spoke with less deliberation. Seeing that Xiang Vivi was gone, he said directly, “Don’t be like you were two years ago. I can’t bear to see it.”

“Three years,” Chi Yu replied.

Of course, he knew what Gao Yi meant. When they first met, he had just recently returned from his injury. At the end of that ski season, he competed in a local freestyle challenge in Banff again, but his results were far from ideal. He chose to do a cliff drop on his first descent and landed a tamedog successfully, but his riding was choppy and he was generally off his game. Freeride competitions weren’t like park; while aerial tricks were flashy, they were only one aspect of the judges’ evaluation.

The powder was deep that day, and he hadn’t managed his sluff* well; his vision was completely whited out. He crashed headfirst on the second slope. There were a lot of loose rocks directly below, and it was a very dangerous situation for a moment. Luckily, he quickly recovered, got back up, and rode to the finish line. But once you fall, your score immediately plummets. Even winning Best Trick of the day for that tamedog on the first cliff didn’t help.

He had no coach, no family or friends with him. When he got to the bottom, there was no one to hug him. Only a tall man extended a hand for a high-five and said to him, “Good job, you were great.”

Hearing Chinese, Chi Yu looked up, then took off his face mask and goggles and looked again.

That person was Gao Yi.

Later, Gao Yi told him, “I’ve been following you for a long time. You’re one of my favorite snowboarders. I saw you ride the double black trees at Tremblant when you were very young. I watched the live stream of the Corbet’s Couloir challenge, and of course, I watched the X Games Big Air that year. But then, I didn’t see you for almost two years. I kept wondering where you went.”

Gao Yi had just gone through a breakup at the time and had taken a three-month break to ski in Banff. Occasionally on weekends, he would take Chi Yu and his group of friends to the town for drinks. When Gao Yi drank too much, he would start talking about his ex-girlfriend who had broken up with him and returned to their home country, while Chi Yu talked about his past training with Liang Yichuan in Revelstoke. He recalled the beginning of the story, which was the only part he could bring himself to tell. It was Gao Yi who found the name familiar. On a trip to the bathroom, he casually searched for it and found the end of the story.

When he returned to the table, he saw that Chi Yu had single-handedly out-drunk a group of men in their thirties, leaving only himself drinking alone under the moon. The silver moonlight fell on the side of his face, revealing a transcendent calm that was completely at odds with his age.

By the time the two parted ways in Banff, Chi Yu had shredded all the powder on the three big mountains. Even Gao Yi joked that he probably wouldn’t ever come back to Banff. In his last week, Chi Yu signed up for a new competition, packed his bags, and prepared to move to a new city. Things did seem to be moving in a better direction, just as Gao Yi had predicted.

Gao Yi called his name again. This time, his smile was gone, replaced by the serious concern of an elder. “Chi Yu, I know how hard it was for you back then, and I watched you come out of it. Don’t go back there now. Don’t ever go back. You can cherish the memory of people from the past, but don’t have regrets. You have nothing to regret.”

Chi Yu looked into his eyes. He wanted to say, I can’t help it. I can’t do it. But he couldn’t bear to reveal all the ugly, real, and stubborn parts of himself to Gao Yi. The man was a patient, after all, and had just survived a life-and-death ordeal. He was here to comfort him, not to have him worry about him in return.

He could only nod.

Only then did Gao Yi’s smile return. “Let’s talk about something happy. You said it was your student who drove you up here late at night? This student of yours, he’s quite handsome…”

Xiang Vivi walked in with a cup of coffee and a croissant, asking as she entered, “Who’s quite handsome?”

It was clear Gao Yi’s strength was returning; he even started joking with her. “Your husband, me.”

Xiang Vivi’s eyebrows knitted together, and Gao Yi immediately said, “Just kidding, just kidding. It was Chi Yu’s student from that day, a real handsome guy, must be 185 cm tall.”

Hearing this, Chi Yu finally argued back, “He’s not 185, is he?”