HWAMB — Chapter 36

From the way they were holding hands, it seemed things had worked out between them. My trivial crush ended right there.

Ugly thoughts bubbled in my mind—“When will they break up? If they do, would I get another chance?”—but I shook my head to drive them away.

‘It can’t be helped.’

I repeated it to myself like a comfort.

Though I still had regrets, there was nothing else I could do. I let it go.

After that, I deliberately avoided Eun-jae.

Not because I disliked him or felt uncomfortable, but because I still had lingering feelings. If I stayed near him, I might approach with selfish intentions.

And that would only make things unpleasant for Eun-jae.

I didn’t want that.

I just hoped that once my feelings settled and I spoke to him again, we could become even closer friends than before.

Side Story 2. Is Santa Real?

“He is!”

“He’s not!”

“He is! Eun-jae, you liar!”

That winter when we were seven, unlike me who doubted everything, Hyun-woo was pure and innocent.

On my seventh Christmas Eve, I already knew Santa wasn’t real. But Hyun-woo didn’t.

I explained over and over that the presents in the socks came from parents, not Santa or elves, but Hyun-woo refused to believe me, calling me a liar.

Angry at suddenly being branded dishonest, I pouted and glared at him.

Frustrated, I huffed and proposed,

“Fine, then let’s make a bet.”

“What kind of bet?”

“Since today’s Christmas Eve, we’ll hang stockings on the tree and stay awake all night. That way, we’ll know if Santa’s real or not!”

“Deal!”

I declared proudly, and Hyun-woo answered in a firm, confident tone.

Surely then, he’d believe I was right.

Every Christmas Eve, we alternated sleeping over at each other’s houses.

If one year we spent it together at Hyun-woo’s house, the next year he’d sleep over at mine.

That year, it was at Hyun-woo’s house.

‘What if I fall asleep before Santa comes…?’

Honestly, I worried about that. But I was confident I wouldn’t fall asleep before Hyun-woo, since he was the sleepier one.

As long as I didn’t fall asleep first, it would be fine.

That evening, after a lavish dinner at Hyun-woo’s house, we brushed our teeth and turned on the movie we watched every Christmas.

It was about four cute white alien puppies who came down to Earth every Christmas to complete a mission.

Hyun-woo and I loved the series and watched it together every year.

That year, we were rewatching the second one.

But as soon as Hyun-woo turned on the TV, a ghost suddenly popped up on the screen.

Unfortunately, the channel had been playing a horror movie. Just bad luck.

I hated ghosts, so I was so shocked I couldn’t even scream—I just hiccuped. Hyun-woo blinked slowly at the screen.

Then, noticing me trembling beside him, he walked over and gently covered my eyes with both hands.

Strangely enough, Hyun-woo never seemed afraid of ghosts, horror movies, or scary stories.

In a bright, cheerful voice, he asked me,

“Are you scared?”

“N-not at all!”

“I’ll hold your hand.”

“I said I’m fine! Just play the movie already.”

At my answer, Hyun-woo moved his hands away from my eyes, changed the channel, and put on the movie.

Before long, as if we had never seen anything scary, we forgot all about it and sat pressed together, happily watching the film.

The large tray of caramel popcorn was sweet.

Near the end of the movie, Hyun-woo rubbed his eyes and let out a long yawn.

That was when the door opened, and his uncle came in. He hugged us both and kissed our cheeks.

Then he said, “It’s about time for good children to fall asleep,” and carried us off to bed.

Hyun-woo’s drowsy eyes shot open wide in delight. He was excited at the thought of staying awake to meet Santa.

His uncle carried us up the stairs, washed us up, dried our hair, and then opened the door to Hyun-woo’s room.

“Wow!”

Hyun-woo and I gaped, eyes shining as we looked around the room. A small tree and pretty mood lights softly lit the darkness.

On top of the drawer by the bed sat a music box, gently playing the melody of “Jingle Bells” to announce Merry Christmas.

Hyun-woo and I laughed excitedly and threw ourselves onto the bed.

The big bed and soft blanket wrapped us up snugly.

His uncle kissed us each on the forehead with a good night’s kiss.

Before leaving, he said, “You didn’t cry this year and did lots of good things, so I think Santa will bring you a wonderful gift,” and turned out the light.

The door closed, and silence filled the room.

Hyun-woo, innocent as ever, surely believed those words immediately, but I knew better.

The bright sparkle in his eyes from earlier was fading—his lids were heavy with sleep.

He blinked slowly, as though he might fall asleep any moment.

Hyun-woo let out a small yawn and said in a languid voice,

“Eun-jae… When will Santa come?”

“You’re already sleepy? It’s only just starting!”

At my whisper, Hyun-woo forced his eyes open again, but soon they closed, opened, and closed again.

I kept urging him on, explaining point by point why we had to stay awake, trying to motivate him.

“Eun-jae, hold my hand…”

“My hand?”

“Yeah… I suddenly thought of that ghost face and got scared…”

“What? You were scared?”

“Yeah.”

“You looked like you were about to doze off just fine earlier.”

“Well, when you’re awake, you think about things. If you fall asleep right away, you don’t. Just—hurry, hold my hand.”

His whining tone left me no choice, so I clasped his hand tightly.

It almost felt like the whole not-sleeping thing had turned into me humoring him instead, so I felt cheated. But arguing about it wouldn’t do me any good.

If we made any noise, his uncle would just come back and tell us to sleep.

Adults were cautious like that—they would never appear until we were in a deep sleep.

That meant at least I had to stay sharp.

I whispered earnestly to Hyun-woo, lecturing him.

“First, if the door opens, we have to pretend to be asleep. But adults aren’t easy. If you pretend badly, they’ll see right through it. So you have to be really convincing. Just keep your eyes shut, and when I give the signal, then open them quietly. Got it?”

“…”

“…Hey! Shim Hyun-woo! Are you listening?”

“Yeah… heard you. Signal… open eyes…”

Good. He’d heard.

Satisfied, I looked up at the ceiling.

To keep myself awake, I started counting the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck up there.

Hyun-woo was slower to react, but he nodded faintly as he listened to me counting the stars.

I don’t know how much time passed, but finally the door opened. Staying awake had paid off!

My heart pounded with excitement.

I squeezed Hyun-woo’s hand to give the signal and shut my eyes tightly.

A moment later came the rustling sound of someone putting gifts into the socks hanging by the wall.

That meant he had his back turned—I could open my eyes and check.

When I peeked them open, sure enough, the light spilling through the door revealed his uncle’s back as he busily stuffed gifts.

I knew it!

If Santa were real, he would’ve collapsed long ago from overwork.

Holding back a smirk, I gave Hyun-woo the promised signal to open his eyes.

A few minutes later, his uncle left the room, and his footsteps faded. I whispered, voice trembling with excitement,

“See! I told you I was right!”

“…”

“…Hyun-woo? Are you asleep?”

I switched on the mood lamp by the bed.

The soft light revealed Hyun-woo, fast asleep, smiling like an angel.

I was speechless.

To see him snoozing so peacefully, completely oblivious, was almost absurd.

“Mm… Santa…” he mumbled in his sleep, still clutching my hand tightly.

Deflated, I sighed and turned off the lamp, pulling the blanket back over us.

He was smiling so happily in his dreams that I couldn’t help but wonder what he was dreaming of.

“Hmph… fine. I’ll let you have this one.”

I decided then to protect his innocence.

The next morning, Hyun-woo looked sulky because he hadn’t seen Santa’s true identity.

So I told him a little white lie: “While you were asleep, I stayed up, and Santa really came.”

At that, Hyun-woo’s eyes lit up, and he replied triumphantly, “See? I told you I was right!”

Someday, when he was older and learned the whole truth about Santa, I promised myself I would tease him about it endlessly.