IPSTDS Chapter 12

Chapter 12

「”‘Even Flowers Bloom in Ruins’ – Chapter 72 Uploaded!”」

The notification still hovered on the screen.

When Nahyuk tapped on it, the site opened immediately.

And to his absolute shock,

Chapter 72 was right there, in front of him.

‘It’s not a glitch. It’s real.’

Gulp.

He swallowed dryly, his whole body tensed.

Even when Kangil told him to crawl between his legs,

Even when he met his ultimate bias, Kim Daon, in person,

Even when he acted like a lunatic in front of Seo Dowoong—

Nothing had made him this nervous.

What the hell was going on?

Should he even be looking at this?

“…Wildcat?”

Kangil’s voice snapped him back to reality.

“Why’d you stop eating? Don’t tell me Seo Dowoong contacted you?”

Oh, right.

Kangil was still here.

Nahyuk hurriedly turned off his phone, his movements stiff and unnatural.

There was no way he could explain this to Kangil—

Not when he didn’t even understand it himself.

“No, nothing like that.”

“Yeah? Huh. Thought he’d reach out.”

“…What?”

When Nahyuk looked back at him, Kangil was smirking.

It was a strange expression.

Half irritated, half amused.

“If he hasn’t, then that’s all there is to it. Guess that’s as much as you mattered.”

“As much as I… mattered?”

The idea that Seo Dowoong could actually care about Yoon Noah…

Seemed impossible.

Yet, as soon as he thought that—

He suddenly remembered Dowoong’s expression just before he collapsed.

That crooked, crescent-moon smile.

The way he had actually said—

‘Do it again.’

Unless he was insane, there was no way he would have asked to see that kind of aegyo again.

Rather than positive interest, it must have been something like a bad kind of curiosity.

A curiosity about how the once-devoted dog suddenly turned cold, only to return to how he was before.

He thought it was a curiosity that wouldn’t last long.

Moreover, as long as things with Lee Kangil were settled properly, the chances of running into Seo Dowoong by accident would disappear.

Then, it would truly be the end with Seo Dowoong. Just as he had wished throughout the entire novel, not wanting to run into Yoon Noah.

‘The end…’

He was supposed to be pleased about this ending. Since he had become Yoon Noah, there was nothing good about getting entangled with Seo Dowoong.

But strangely, a part of his chest felt bitter. He wondered if this bitterness stemmed from the will of Yoon Noah, the original owner of this body.

It was unfortunate for the real Yoon Noah, but Nahyuk did not want to live according to his wishes. Even if it meant feeling a suffocating sadness in his chest.

“Stop sighing and just eat.”

“…Okay.”

“Isn’t it weirder if Seo Dowoong starts paying too much attention to you? Don’t be stupidly disappointed just because he hasn’t contacted you.”

That wasn’t it.

Nahyuk thought about correcting the misunderstanding, but he said nothing. He didn’t want the conversation about Seo Dowoong to drag on.

Instead, he changed the subject.

“By the way, Kangil, I’m really sorry, but could you leave after we finish eating? I need some time alone.”

More than anything involving Seo Dowoong, the content of Chapter 72 on his phone was more important.

Nahyuk planned to read it the moment he was alone.

“Huh? Weren’t you just clinging to my pant leg, begging me not to leave? Now you can’t get rid of me fast enough?”

“I wasn’t clinging to your pant leg.”

“Oh? Are you really going to nitpick over every little thing? You think you can treat me this carelessly?”

“Hmm… Then if I grab your pant leg and beg you to leave, will you go?”

Nahyuk said it half-jokingly and then chuckled.

Lee Kangil’s deeply furrowed brows made it clear that he found Nahyuk’s words utterly ridiculous.

His expression was so comically exaggerated that Nahyuk couldn’t help but laugh.

Even though he had nearly died yesterday, he wondered if it was really okay for him to be laughing this freely.

But contrary to his expectations, Kangil—who seemed ready to scold him—only stared at his face in silence.

His gaze was intense.

It felt like he was peeling away every layer, exposing everything inside.

That chilling sensation made Nahyuk’s laughter die down.

Only then did Kangil finally speak.

“Forget it. I already told you—I’m a busy man. I was planning to leave anyway, even if you didn’t ask.”

“Thank you.”

Kangil set down his spoon with a sharp clink, then suddenly changed the subject.

“By the way, wildcat. Do you remember what you said right before you collapsed?”

“Hmm… I do remember losing my breath and passing out, but… Did I say something?”

“You said something about love—”

“Yes?”

“Never mind.”

“Huh? Love? What do you mean?”

“Forget it. You said some weird crap before fainting, and now it’s bothering me.”

What had he said while collapsing at La Dena last night?

Nahyuk tried to recall it, but nothing came to mind.

“Don’t ask me what it was. If you don’t remember it yourself, I’m not telling you.”

“……”

“If you’re that curious, go ask your Dowoong.”

“Your Dowoong.”

That was blatant mockery.

Kangil’s tone was laced with amusement, his lips curling ever so slightly.

At that moment, Nahyuk squeezed his eyes shut.

Because his own voice from last night suddenly echoed in his head—

‘Dowoong~! Were you upset because I was being cold to you? But that’s what you always did to me! So I tried doing the same thing~ I wanted you to understand how I felt too~!’

…Kill me now.

Damn it, damn it!

“I’m leaving.”

Taking advantage of Nahyuk’s embarrassment, Kangil swiftly exited the hospital room.

Left alone, Nahyuk knew he should check his phone immediately, but the humiliation still hadn’t faded.

---

After stepping out of the hospital room, Kangil’s faint smile disappeared.

Despite acting as if he was eager to leave, he ended up standing outside the door for a long time.

Staring blankly into space, his thoughts drifted back to last night at La Dena.

Yoon Noah, collapsing with labored breaths.

The words he barely managed to say.

‘I love you… I wanted to see you…’

A confession like a dying wish.

There had been nothing but sincerity in those words.

For someone who had lived recklessly, relying on wealth and status, to have such a simple wish—love—was almost laughable.

If he were truly on the verge of death, wouldn’t it be more natural to wish to live rather than confess love?

“Love, huh…”

Even Kangil had never experienced it before.

Maybe that’s why he couldn’t forget those words.

As much as he hated to admit it,

Maybe he, too, had always wanted to experience love.

Of course, there had been plenty of people who approached him with love in mind.

And he had dated a few of them.

But that was all.

Eating together. Watching movies. Sleeping together.

The monotony of it all became tiresome too quickly.

At some point, physical intimacy turned into a chore, nothing more than an obligation to satisfy a base desire.

Eventually, even the act of meeting someone became exhausting.

It felt ridiculous—like an animal, meeting people just to sleep with them.

So for a while, he stopped seeing anyone seriously.

Instead, he would occasionally indulge in meaningless one-night stands with people who had equally distorted views on relationships.

The physical tension would always fade quickly.

But the emptiness remained.

A thirst that couldn’t be quenched by physical connection alone.

“Maybe that’s love.”

Maybe this hollow feeling was because he had never truly loved anyone.

Maybe Yoon Noah had felt the same way.

Maybe that was why he clung to Seo Dowoong so desperately.

If that was the case, then everything Yoon Noah had done finally made sense.

Because it was his first love.

Because he desperately wanted to be loved back.

“Still, he’s better off than me. At least he’s loved someone.”

Kangil’s gaze lingered on the hospital room door.

Maybe it was because he now understood a bit of the guy’s situation, but—

He didn’t think he could stand watching that reckless bastard die so easily.

First, I’ll save him.

Because if anyone can do it, I can.

What happens after that… I can decide later.

Something unfamiliar stirred within him.

A strange feeling toward Yoon Noah.

Was it a sense of kinship?

No.

It was something darker.

Something murkier.

Without being able to put a name to it,

Kangil turned and walked away.

---

“Uggghhh….”

The groan slipped past Nahyuk’s lips, unable to endure the sheer humiliation.

He dragged his hands down his face, as if trying to scrub the embarrassment away, then flopped back onto the bed.

The half-eaten porridge now seemed utterly unappetizing.

It felt like his entire stomach was filled with nothing but shame.

Still, at least Kangil was gone.

That alone helped him calm down—at least a little.

After a few minutes, Nahyuk finally reached for his phone.

“Alright, let’s see. What the hell got uploaded?”

The moment he turned on the screen, Chapter 72 loomed before him.

As soon as he began reading, his expression grew serious.

The story continued directly from Chapter 71,

as if his possession of Yoon Noah’s body had changed nothing at all.

It described Yoon Noah receiving his terminal diagnosis.

Then, his visit to Kangil’s lab.

And then—

The events that should have followed.

Before returning home, Yoon Noah, unable to bear the despair of his impending death, went to find Seo Dowoong.

‘Dowoong is the only one I can ask for help…’

No matter how many times he scrolled through his contact list, there was no one else to call.

His parents had abandoned him long ago.

He had never truly made friends.

Seo Dowoong was the closest thing he had.

Even if their relationship was strained now,

They had once been childhood friends.

At least until Yoon Noah confessed.

But when he sought comfort,

Seo Dowoong’s reaction was nothing but ice cold.