IPSTDS Chapter 53

Chapter 53

Garam’s words continued.

“I like the way your face looks when you talk about Yoon Noah-ssi. It’s a face you never show in front of us.”

“Me? What kind of face is that?”

“A good face. Not the face that tries to carry everything alone, but a relaxed one. I think it’s a relief.”

Daon scratched his cheek awkwardly. He had never thought he was making such an expression.

“Do well.”

“What do you mean, do well? Garam, you’re going too far.”

“I just meant to get along well. Nothing more than that.”

Speaking as if teasing, Garam got up from the sofa. Daon glared at the irritating younger brother.

In both looks and personality, Garam resembled him a great deal. He wouldn’t have said “do well” for no reason at all.

Still sitting on the sofa, Daon let out a sigh.

“Have I really started to like Noah-hyung…?”

* * *

Even after lying down on his bed, Kim Daon continued thinking about Yoon Noah. Suddenly, he recalled a photo he had happened to see the day before.

It was one that had been posted on Lee Kangil’s social media. Daon pulled it up again.

In it was Yoon Noah, smiling brightly as he congratulated Lee Kangil on his birthday.

“Would hyung really remember my birthday too?”

Somehow, he couldn’t help but feel that the reason Noah had run into his brothers at the department store was also because of his birthday gift… and he desperately hoped it wasn’t just his imagination.

Thinking of birthdays also brought to mind Seo Dowoong’s, which he had deliberately ignored yesterday.

It wasn’t as if they hadn’t reconciled, but after exchanging apologies, they hadn’t spoken again. Perhaps that was why things felt so uncomfortable between them.

It was that prickly feeling that made him turn away from Dowoong’s birthday.

Still, there were plenty of people around Seo Dowoong who wanted to win his favor, so surely many had celebrated it with him already.

Seo Dowoong would sometimes boast about how many people liked him, how many wanted to get close to him—always speaking in a way that seemed to provoke Daon’s jealousy.

And though Daon saw right through it, he would play along and pretend to be jealous, because he enjoyed the satisfied look on Dowoong’s face when he did.

‘…But maybe that kind of day won’t come again.’

He wondered if this was the end of their relationship.

If the uneasiness didn’t fade, even the good memories would be at risk of being tainted.

How had things gotten so bad?

It was hard to believe that everything he had built with Dowoong was crumbling before it had even properly begun.

When things had been good, they’d talk on the phone until the very moment they fell asleep.

Of course, someday he would have to meet Dowoong and talk things out…

“But for now, I just want to receive a birthday present from Noah-hyung.”

It was a desire uncharacteristic of him. Without question, it was the first time he had ever wanted a gift from someone else. Maybe seeing his younger brothers receive presents from Yoon Noah had only made him greedier.

At that moment, Garam’s question suddenly came back to him.

‘So… do you see Yoon Noah-ssi as just someone to lean on?’

How did he really feel about Noah?

The reason he hadn’t been able to answer then was because he didn’t think of Yoon Noah as just some older guy from the neighborhood he could lean on.

Though he couldn’t explain these unclear feelings, at the very least he knew one thing: the reason he thought of Yoon Noah positively wasn’t simply because he was a hyung.

It felt like the place where his feelings for Seo Dowoong had once burned had now sprouted new ones for Yoon Noah.

“Noah-hyung, what are you doing right now, I wonder.”

Without realizing it, Kim Daon tapped Noah’s number.

The ringtone sounded only briefly before Yoon Noah’s voice came through.

“Hyung.”

In Daon’s voice was a warmth he had never used before.

* * *

Early in the evening, Nahyuk’s short nap was broken by a call from Kim Daon. Still half-asleep, he picked up.

“Mmm… Daon-ah.”

“Hyung.”

“Yeah.”

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

“No… why’d you call? Nothing’s wrong, right?”

“Mm… I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Huh?”

Did something happen to Daon?

Worry drove the sleep from Nahyuk’s eyes.

“I heard you met my brothers today.”

Ah—so that was it. Not trouble, just about meeting his brothers. Nahyuk let out a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, that’s right! It was a coincidence. Really amazing. I was a bit jealous too—me being an only child… well, I mean, not really, but seeing you with such affectionate and cute brothers, I envied you.”

He nearly mentioned the brother from his past life but redirected his words.

“My brothers are cute, right? Even I admit that. But… why did you buy them so many gifts? I know you don’t have much in your account… It makes me worry. If you run into them again, please don’t buy them anything.”

“Daon, even if I don’t have much, do you think I wouldn’t have enough to buy a present for such adorable brothers? Don’t worry. Next time, I’ll even give them pocket money.”

“Why? Why are you being so good to my brothers? You barely know them.”

True enough. Nahyuk found himself wondering the same. But the answer came easily.

“They’re your brothers.”

“…”

“They’re the brothers of the Daon I support. Of course I should treat them well. I want you to be happy, Daon. And if the people around you are happy, won’t you naturally be happy too?”

Nahyuk believed that people were colored by the emotions of those around them.

When he had lived as Lee Nahyuk, surrounded only by people who scorned or despised him, all he absorbed was negativity.

But now, as Yoon Noah—though Seo Dowoong still looked at him with contempt—at least Kim Daon and Lee Kangil did not.

Receiving their kindness, Nahyuk didn’t know when it started, but he began to feel more confident, brighter.

That positive change gave him the courage to voice his thoughts even to Seo Dowoong.

“Hyung…”

Daon’s voice trailed off after a silence.

“How can a person change this much? Other than my family, you’re the first person to truly wish for my happiness.”

“Really? If I said it’s because I was close to death… Ah, right, you said you hated hearing that.”

“Yes. It makes you sound like you’re about to die for real.”

“But there isn’t another reason.”

“Hyung.”

His quiet, gentle voice—so like the calm of night—was soothing to hear. Nahyuk listened to it like he was listening to music.

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll wish for your happiness too. And since I’m already happy enough, you’ll be happy as well. Because I’m one of your people.”

“I hope so.”

Saying it, Nahyuk felt his chest tighten. Before all this, he had thought even wishing for happiness was too much of a luxury.

He really wanted to be happy.

Once they had exchanged wishes for each other’s happiness, Daon shifted the conversation.

“Hyung, do you think of me often?”

“…”

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. That’s why I called.”

“…Really?”

“I’d like it if you thought of me too.”

“…”

“Hyung, will you spend my birthday with me?”

“You don’t have other plans?”

“No. My brothers can celebrate with me anytime.”

“…”

The question about Seo Dowoong rose to the tip of Nahyuk’s tongue. But he swallowed it.

Just this once… he wanted to be selfish.

He wanted to spend the birthday of Kim Daon—the younger brother he truly cherished—with him. He wanted to sincerely celebrate the birthday of the one who had wished him happiness.

That wish swelled inside him.

But then Daon spoke, as if reading his mind.

“And don’t worry about Seo Dowoong.”

“…!”

“We patched things up a little, but I don’t want to see his face yet. And I think he feels the same.”

“Daon…”

“Hyung, just think about us. About our happiness. Even that’s not enough time.”

“Yeah.”

Hearing that, Nahyuk felt he could finally let go of his worries about Seo Dowoong.

“Hyung, go back to sleep soon. You’re not healthy, and I’ve kept you too long.”

“No, I’m fine! I like hearing your voice.”

“I like it too… but sleep, okay? That way you’ll dream of me.”

“Huh? Dream of you?”

“Yes, hyung. Good night. Dream of me for sure.”

His tender whisper was laced with laughter.

And the call ended. Nahyuk felt a pang of regret, forgetting he should go back to sleep.

He could have talked longer…

Clutching the phone to his chest, he replayed the conversation in his head. Only then did it strike him how much like lovers their words had been.

With a flutter in his chest, he closed his eyes. He felt certain he would dream a good dream.

* * *

But contrary to that feeling, Nahyuk dreamed something closer to a nightmare.

The first person he saw in the dream was Park Sangcheol.

Park grinned, showing his yellowed teeth. Of course, it was directed at the high school-aged Yoon Noah.

Nahyuk realized he was dreaming of what had once happened to Noah.

The past replayed before him with unbearable clarity. Nahyuk found himself naturally absorbed into the dream.