IPSTDS Chapter 78

Chapter 78

That was how Chapter 77 ended.

Even after finishing it, Nahyuk couldn’t take his eyes off the phone screen.

A tear suddenly dropped onto the display. Only then did Nahyuk realize he was crying.

Yoon Noah was just too pitiful. Knowing exactly what kind of loneliness he felt, Nahyuk couldn’t help but empathize with him even more.

A hospital room with no visitors, wishing to disappear because the loneliness was unbearable—

Those were all things Nahyuk had once felt too.

If he could, he wanted to visit Noah himself. He wanted to hold him tightly and pat his back.

To tell him, you’re not alone. That from now on, at least I’ll think of you desperately. That was what he wanted to say.

Wiping the corner of his eyes with his fingertips, Nahyuk wished.

That the Kangil in the novel would help Noah wholeheartedly, and in doing so, fall in love with him. That the unloved Noah would be able to feel the warmth of another human being.

He wished for Noah to find happiness, and beyond that, to survive.

And if he himself, living in Noah’s body, managed to survive in reality, wouldn’t that mean Noah too would survive in the story?

Thinking of Noah drowning in sorrow, Nahyuk felt he had to survive no matter what. No—he would live, and claim love with pride.

If he did that, maybe the Noah in the story, who shared his body, could also find happiness.

“Ha… maybe I cried too much. My eyelids feel heavy.”

Lying on the bed, Nahyuk pressed down on his tear-swollen lids.

His emotions still swirled, but crying had drained his energy. And yet, sleep wouldn’t come. If anything, he felt more awake.

Closing the novel window, he found himself unconsciously scrolling to Kangil’s number. That was when he noticed a name he had never seen before.

‘Darling♥’

The name was tagged with a heart emoji—one Nahyuk had deleted from the keypad long ago. It wasn’t something he had saved. But it wasn’t likely something the real Noah had saved either.

He knew immediately who it was. Among his recent contacts, ‘Darling♥’ was the one with the most frequent calls.

The person who was closest to him now, who showed his affection without holding back.

Without hesitation, Nahyuk pressed the call button. After about two rings, the other voice came through.

–Darling, did you already miss me again?

The shameless way Kangil used the word “Darling” made it clear he was the one.

“When did you mess with my phone? I was wondering who this ‘Darling heart’ was.”

–You only just noticed, Darling?

“You’re quick with your hands.”

–So what, you don’t like it?

“…I didn’t say I hated it.”

Seeing that ridiculous name made him smile instead. Smiling after crying—how hard was that?

Embarrassed for no reason, Nahyuk coughed awkwardly.

–Hey, Noah.

“Yeah?”

–Why does your voice sound like that? Did you cry?

This guy—his intuition was too sharp. It was amazing he had noticed his voice was lower, even though he’d only cried briefly.

If not that, then maybe he simply cared enough to notice the smallest changes.

Whatever the reason, it felt good that Kangil could read his state so easily.

“If I did cry, what would you say?”

–Why did you cry? Don’t tell me it was because I got annoyed this morning?

“……”

Nahyuk didn’t answer, just stayed quiet.

–That wasn’t me being annoyed at you. I was annoyed at Seo Dowoong. After all the times he treated you badly, now he throws a fit wanting you to celebrate his birthday too? Honestly, if he weren’t a friend, I would’ve hit him already.

“……”

–I won’t get annoyed again, so don’t cry. Okay?

Kangil’s soothing voice was unbearably gentle.

“Yeah. I won’t cry.”

–If you do, I’ll storm out of work and come back to you, got it?

“You’re ridiculous. You’re supposed to work hard, make me healthy, and then… do what you said you wanted. You can’t just storm out of work.”

Nahyuk could never say provocative things the way Kangil did. It was awkward and clumsy on his tongue.

–Ha… this is tough.

“Work hard. I won’t cry.”

–Alright.

He didn’t know why he had called Kangil, but hearing his voice truly lightened his heart.

Having someone beside you—it must feel like this. Warm, dependable.

When the conversation faded, silence filled the line.

Nahyuk considered ending the call, but then remembered Daon, who was due to visit soon.

That morning, Daon’s message had been so shocking that Nahyuk hadn’t been able to decide whether to mention it to Kangil. He had said nothing about him.

But now that some time had passed and the panic had worn off, he thought he should at least mention it.

Not Daon’s private circumstances, of course. But at least the fact of his visit.

“Oh right, Kangil.”

–Yeah.

“Daon’s coming over around lunchtime.”

–You’re seeing that insolent brat again?

“Yeah. I thought I should tell you beforehand, so you don’t get the wrong idea.”

–It’s not even his birthday this time. Why? And I’m not annoyed, okay? I’m just asking.

“It’s something personal. A serious matter, actually. That’s why I agreed to see him.”

–…Haa.

A deep sigh came through the receiver.

“Don’t worry. We’re just talking. Nothing else will happen.”

–You’re not worried, but I’m worried about Kim Daon.

“It’s fine. Or better yet, when you finish work, just come over to my place.”

–And if I do, what will you give me?

The first thing that came to mind was a line from the original novel. Noah, pitiful and broken, asking to be held. The image flickered before his eyes.

Remembering him, Nahyuk said,

“I’ll hold you.”

If I hold you now, maybe the Kangil in the novel will hold Noah too.

At his tender words, Kangil fell silent, as if caught off guard. Nahyuk didn’t press him, simply waited for his reply.

At last, the answer came—true to Kangil’s nature.

–Then be ready to be held all night.

Yes, let’s do that. And let the warmth I feel then reach the Noah in the story as well.

* * *

As promised, Kim Daon came to visit Nahyuk’s house around lunchtime. Nahyuk personally opened the front door to greet him.

Looking up at Daon’s face, Nahyuk thought he looked thinner than the day before. It seemed he had spent a night weighed down by heavy worries.

“Daon, are you alright?”

Of course he knew he wasn’t, but he couldn’t help asking.

The reply to his worried question was a smile.

Daon’s smile was still beautiful, yet it seemed fragile, as if it might shatter at any moment. It felt like if he reached out, that smile—and Daon himself—would dissolve like smoke.

Without realizing it, Nahyuk reached out and gently held Daon’s shoulder. At his fingertips, he could feel the warmth and the solid outline of his frame.

“Hyung.”

“Yeah.”

Daon lifted his eyes, filled with faint sorrow, and looked straight at him.

“If I said I wasn’t alright, would you comfort me?”

There was no hesitation in the answer. Nahyuk wanted to do whatever Daon asked of him.

“Yeah. I’ll comfort you.”

The moment the words left his mouth, Daon’s arms slid around his waist. They pulled him in, and Nahyuk, unable to resist, was drawn into that broad chest.

A strange weight settled on his shoulder. It was Daon, leaning his face against him.

“Hyung, your arms are so wide.”

It was a funny thing to say, since Nahyuk was the one being held.

But Nahyuk said nothing. He only stroked Daon’s back.

Like a child seeking its mother’s embrace, Daon burrowed into him. For once, he looked fragile and weak, so unlike himself. With Heechan and Garam, or even standing up against Seo Dowoong, he had always looked like someone who could withstand any hardship.

In the novel, too, Daon hardly ever showed weakness to others. Not because, like Noah, he thought weakness meant defeat.

He had only grown strong in order to survive. Losing his parents early and becoming the head of the family at such a young age had forced him to.

Daon was truly an admirable, remarkable man.

And in that moment, Nahyuk felt something that didn’t match that greatness. With Daon’s face resting on his shoulder, he could hear the sound of his heart racing.

‘Strange. Is that my heartbeat?’

He was holding someone he liked, and since he wasn’t used to physical contact, Nahyuk’s heart was also beating faster than usual.

The sound of his own heartbeat mingled with Daon’s in his ear, so much that he couldn’t tell them apart.

What was clear, though, was that he didn’t dislike this moment. Even if Daon was trembling against him, he wouldn’t mind.

Nahyuk simply waited until Daon let go of him. Nothing else came to mind. A peaceful time flowed by.