MDQ Ch 22

Lost in thought, staring out the window as if in a daze while recalling the past, I realized it had already grown dark.

The red glow that had painted the world beautifully had disappeared without a trace.

As the fleetingly beautiful moment passed, my mind, which had been unconsciously indulging in sentiment, snapped back to reality.

Almost immediately, a hollow laugh escaped me.

‘I came here because I didn’t even want to see the Given members and yet here I am, thinking about Jung Yohan.’

I really was a foolish person.

“I need to stop liking Jung Yohan…”

Of course, now I don’t resent Jung Yohan for keeping quiet despite knowing my father’s situation.

I had confronted him as if venting my anger, but looking at it from another perspective, I wouldn’t have interfered in someone else’s family affairs either.

Still, that didn’t mean I wanted to use the excuse of a deal to kiss Jung Yohan again.

I still loved him, but now I wanted to let everything go.

I no longer wanted to pursue a love that would never be. I wanted to love someone who truly loved me in return.

Though my father’s betrayal had left a deep wound, part of me felt liberated from something that had been binding me.

A sense that I no longer had to do what I didn’t want. A sense that I could stop this hopeless one-sided love.

I planned to sort out all my thoughts here. Well, in the end, I’d probably end up returning to the company anyway.

The problem was the CEO. The contract with the company still had time left, and he had taken notice of my songwriting skills.

Would he really let me go that easily?

There was a high possibility he’d use the excuse of breaking the contract to threaten me with a hefty penalty.

The seemingly kind CEO often took care of people within his boundaries, but he was mercilessly cold to those outside them.

I had sent most of the money I’d earned to my father, so I probably couldn’t afford such a massive penalty…

“I don’t know. For now, let’s eat something.”

Come to think of it, I hadn’t eaten a single meal today so I decided to start with dinner.

---

I headed to a seafood restaurant nearby. It was a secluded spot, and since it was early evening, I was the only customer.

After ordering the only item on the menu, sliced raw fish, and sitting idly, a middle-aged woman, presumably the owner, quickly brought out the dish.

“Did you appear on TV or something? You’re really handsome, Boy^[1]. Your face looks so familiar.”

Boy? How old did she think I was? I laughed awkwardly.

“I’m not a student, and I haven’t been on TV. Thank you for the compliment.”

“Oh my, but you’re really handsome. Eat plenty while you’re here.”

“Thank you.”

The warmly smiling woman went into the kitchen. Her hospitable welcome toward a stranger made it easy for me to start eating.

When I worked as a manager, no matter how delicious the food was, I often felt nauseous.

But eating without worrying about work, the Given members, or my father, the meal truly tasted good—even though it wasn’t anything special.

I had a satisfying meal for the first time in a long while. It had been ages since I felt full without feeling bloated.

Is this what peace feels like?

I wanted to enjoy this calm for a long time.

Just being able to eat in peace, I felt like I was finally living like a human.

‘Maybe I should really quit everything and come down here.’

After quitting the manager job, it seemed like it would be fine to settle here and focus on writing lyrics. That way, perhaps the CEO might even manage to cover the penalty I had to pay.

Thinking about this uncertain future, I finished my meal.

“Come again, Boy. I’m glad such a handsome young man came by.”

I wasn’t a student, but she kept calling me that.

I nodded without correcting her.

“Thank you.”

Then I took a short walk along the pier to aid digestion.

The lights sporadically illuminating the dark sea, the rows of docked boats, and the salty sea breeze—there was nothing missing from this peaceful scene.

Out of habit, I took my phone out of my pocket.

Feeling calm, I finally had the courage to turn on the phone, which I hadn’t touched in days.

The moment I powered it on, countless notifications poured in.

I expected people to contact me, but it was far more than I imagined.

There were over a hundred missed calls and roughly a hundred unread messages.

The majority of messages were from the Given members. I didn’t want to read them.

Then, my phone vibrated sharply. Someone was calling at the exact moment I turned it on.

Seeing the unexpected caller, I hesitated about whether to answer. In the end, I pressed the call button before it disconnected.

It seemed okay to talk briefly.

As soon as I answered, I heard my name over the receiver.

– “Hyunseok-ssi, why haven’t you been answering at all?”

The voice on the other end was full of worry. I shared my situation with the one who had been concerned about me..

“Chungrim-ssi, I’m sorry. I suddenly took leave and disappeared, so you must have been worried.”

The caller was Park Chungrim, who had contacted me the second most after the Given members.

– “Sigh… I was really worried. I thought maybe the Given members were bothering you again, or that you were alone and having bad thoughts… I imagined all sorts of things. I heard at the office that you called in sick, so what’s wrong?”

Chungrim spoke rapidly without a pause, his anxiety clear.

I thought I was completely alone in the world, but reflecting carefully, there were a few people who truly cared about me: Minsoo, Chulmin, and Park Chungrim-ssi… only three, but I was thankful even for that.

“I don’t have any bad thoughts. It was sudden, but I really just wanted to rest. I’m not seriously ill. Of course, the CEO doesn’t need to know that I’m not sick.”

Though I was sad and in pain enough for tears not to dry, I didn’t think of dying.

I knew how meaningless death was. Having witnessed my brother’s death up close before he could even bloom^[2], I could never think that way.

I didn’t want to die so pointlessly.

I still wanted to experience love, to meet someone who truly loved me before even thinking about death.

– “I’m glad to hear that.”

A deep sigh of relief came from the other end.

– “You’ll… come back, right?”

“Yes, I’ll come back.”

But it would only be for a short time.

I intended to return, finish what I had to, and then leave entirely for somewhere my father and the Given members wouldn’t cross my mind.

– “When you come back, meet me once. Seeing your face would put me at ease.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

– “I don’t mean to burden you, but… if it gets too hard, you can lean on me. Even though I look like this, I’m capable of supporting at least one other person, after all.”

Park Chungrim’s playful remark drew a small smile from me.

I didn’t dislike Chungrim’s peculiar interest in me, but I couldn’t suddenly like anyone other than Jung Yohan.

“Thank you for saying that. I’m about to head back to my lodging now…”

– “Ah, let’s end the call here. Sorry for keeping you long.”

“No, Chungrim-ssi, you take care too. I’ll contact you again later.”

– “Okay.”

The brief call ended that way. Before turning my phone off, I glanced at the conversation with Jung Yohan.

‘Please contact me.’

That was the most recent message.

I turned off my phone without reading it. My desire to stop loving Jung Yohan remained unchanged.

---

It had been about two weeks since I had left Seoul without a plan.

I had somewhat adapted to life here. The seafood restaurant I had stumbled upon the previous day had even become my regular spot.

Today, I stopped by the same place for dinner.

The owner, who had welcomed me warmly from the first day, still treated me as if I were her own child.

Although not related by blood, she felt more like family than my father ever did.

Soon, neatly prepared sliced raw fish and side dishes arrived. And as I continued eating comfortably, a familiar name came from the TV mounted on a wall of the restaurant.

“Hello, this is Park Saebit! How have you been? Today, I, Saebit, am honored to host Music Warehouse as a special MC.”

The music program seemed out of place in a seafood restaurant. A family seated near the TV appeared to have turned it on.

A girl, probably in high school, looked at Park Saebit with eyes full of admiration.

I couldn’t help but glance at Park Saebit’s face, which I hadn’t seen in quite a while.