MDQ Ch 49
by LuluHow did my father find out my new number?
The only person who knew my number was Kang Kimoon.
At that moment, Jung Yohan came to mind—the only Given member with connections to my father.
If anyone could have easily gotten my number, it would be Jung Yohan, with his solid backing. But I couldn’t understand why he had given my number to my father.
As for my father… it was likely he wanted to take advantage of me even more. Did Jung Yohan want my father’s wish to be fulfilled?
If it had been before, I would have endured without answering my father’s call, but now I had resolved to face the things I had avoided and run from.
I pressed the call button.
– “I-Is this you, Hyunseok?”
My father stammered, as if he couldn’t believe I had actually answered.
Hearing his voice after so long was the same as always. I couldn’t tell everything from just his voice, but it seemed he hadn’t been deeply distressed by my disappearance.
“How did you know my number to call me?”
Even though I was dealing with a father who had only used me, I felt a strange calm rather than overwhelming resentment.
– “Yohan told me.”
As I had suspected.
“Why are you calling? Do you need money? Are you planning to go on a date with my money?”
– “! H-How did you know…?!”
I could hear my father’s labored breathing through the receiver.
Unable to speak, he was surely frantically thinking of some way to smooth over the situation. Even without seeing his face, I could predict it.
I anticipated that my father wouldn’t apologize, and instead would argue back.
– “What’s wrong with that? I have my own life to live! I can’t just keep living for you forever!”
When has my father ever lived only for me?
Listening to his angry voice, I realized my expectation had been completely accurate.
Even after more than a month of my disappearance, my father seemed unchanged.
– “Could it be… Yohan told you about that?”
“No.”
It seemed Jung Yohan hadn’t mentioned that I had found out my father’s secrets.
I vaguely recalled Jung Yohan saying he didn’t want to meddle in my disgusting family affairs.
‘You’re consistent too…
I replied in a voice mixed with a sigh. It was a series of expected events, so I wasn’t angry.
“Anyway, now that I fully understand your true intentions, you don’t have to keep pretending to be sad or struggling.”
– “Hyunseok. That’s not pretending…”
“And don’t contact me for a while. I’ll reach out when I go to Seoul.”
– “What? How can you say that to me? You’re my only child! You can’t do that.”
“Did you deceive me because you’re my only father? I’m going to live my life like you do now.”
-“Hyunseok, you!“
“I can’t keep living only for you forever either.”
Returning his words to him gave me a fleeting sense of satisfaction, a brief shiver of delight.
I was about to hang up, feeling that gratifying rush, when my father shouted desperately.
“I’ll go kill myself if you don’t come back! Only if I die will you get your act together!”
“Father.”
– “If you don’t want to be called an ungrateful child who killed their parents, come back immediately!”
“…”
As if mocking me for not responding, my father hung up first.
The brief satisfaction I felt vanished completely. His voice, yelling about killing himself, echoed in my ears.
Of course, I didn’t think he would actually kill himself.
I remembered the past when he almost followed my mother in death before meeting Jung Yohan. I knew well the face and aura of someone determined to die.
The father who had met a new lover and dreamed of a new life showed no sign of that former ruin.
My lively father wouldn’t die so absurdly. I hadn’t realized this while busy working as Given’s manager.
Yet, I still worried about him. What if… in the very slim chance, he really did take his own life?
Even after being used by him, I didn’t want him dead.
No matter how much I hated and resented him, I couldn’t wish for his death. I couldn’t harden my heart enough to wish unhappiness on my last remaining family.
I curled up on my bed and closed my eyes.
Despite deciding to grow stronger and correct what was wrong, I didn’t feel like doing anything.
That night, I dreamt.
In my dream, my brother, who had never appeared in my dreams after his death, appeared. Even my mother, who had died long ago, and my father, whom I had just argued with, were there.
The scene of our family gathered together wasn’t unpleasant. I looked at them, forgetting everything that had happened before I fell asleep.
But then, my brother’s body began to melt away.
His outline blurred, leaving only a red, sticky liquid where he had stood.
‘H-hyung, no.’
I called out desperately, but my brother, whose form had already disappeared, did not answer.
Then my mother began to melt, just like my brother. The red liquid that had been my mother flowed to my feet, soaking my shoes.
In the dream, I stepped back unknowingly, but the sticky substance clinging to my back froze my body.
Terrified to turn my creaking neck, I saw my father, intact, beginning to melt.
My father melted more slowly than the others. Perhaps that’s why I could clearly see his eyes staring directly at me.
There was something murderous in his gaze, as if he hated and resented me.
Half-melted, my father’s blue lips whispered to me.
‘You killed me.’
‘You’re the one who killed me.’
Blood tears streamed from my father’s red, bloodshot eyes. But even that soon collapsed and disappeared.
The blood that soaked my feet clung to my legs, as if pulling me down like a swamp.
‘All of this is your doing…’
Amid the phantom voices, the cawing of crows mixed in. The pounding of my heart echoed through the space.
If I collapsed now, I would vanish into the traces of my family. I had no strength to break free, so I closed my eyes.
As my vision went black, a clear voice, unlike my father’s distant one, reached me.
“Hyunseok, wake up.”
It was a clear, distinct voice—different from my father’s, which had somehow felt distant. Only then did my hazy mind start to clear a little.
The sticky red liquid clutching my legs gradually disappeared. Feeling my body sway, I opened my eyes, and the surrounding scenery transformed instantly.
“Are you awake? You okay?”
Kang Kimoon was in front of me.
Only then did I realize I had woken from the dream. I exhaled through my teeth.
“What kind of nightmare was that? I was worried.”
Wiping the cold sweat soaking my forehead, I thought—what would’ve happened if I hadn’t heard Kang Kimoon calling my name, and had been swallowed up by that sticky abyss?
How long had that terrifying nightmare lasted?
I must have struggled for a long time, submerged in the blood of my family, listening to my father’s resentful voice.
Still half-lost in the remnants of my dream, I muttered a few words, “My father… says he’ll die because of me.”
“For real? Not in a dream?”
“Yes. He called yesterday. If I don’t go back…”
I trailed off. A sharp ache pricked somewhere on my forehead.
“Do you want to go back?”
“No. Not yet.”
I could say that because I knew he wouldn’t die immediately. If he truly intended to, he would have already done it.
How likely was it that my father, dreaming of a happy future with someone else, would take his own life?
“Alright. Then do you want some porridge first?”
“No, I’ll eat by myself.”
“Eat, and then work with me.”
“You mean farm work?”
Kang Kimoon roughly patted my head and replied, “No, something else today.”
“…”
“Go wash up. I’ll prepare the things.”
He left the room before I could stop him. Clearly, he would head straight to the kitchen to prepare the porridge.
I knew Kang Kimoon was the type who never backed down once he decided on something, so I didn’t try to stop him again.
I also knew that getting my act together quickly was exactly what Kang Kimoon wanted more than stopping him.
As I got off the bed, I recalled the day I almost fell off the cliff, entranced by the crow.
‘Kimoon saved me so many times.’
I felt grateful towards him again.
No, it was slightly different from gratitude. It was like a tingling awareness at the tips of my hair, where his warmth had touched.
That feeling instantly erased the unpleasantness from my dream that had clung to my ankles.
Kang Kimoon didn’t lead me anywhere until I finished the entire bowl of porridge.
Since it wasn’t farm work but something else indoors, we didn’t go outside.
Surprisingly, he headed to the second floor—the space I had never stepped into since arriving here.
He had once warned me not to enter the second floor under any circumstances. What could be there?
Without explanation, he opened a certain door.