FF Chapter 22

Lost in thought, Ji Yeonwoo remained silent, staring out the window for the entire ride. He gripped tightly onto Choi Muhyeok’s cashmere coat with both hands, while stubbornly focusing on the scenery outside. All Choi Muhyeok could see was the back of Ji Yeonwoo’s head. He leaned toward the passenger side and opened the center console.

“Here,” Choi Muhyeok said, handing over the latest phone model.

“You wouldn’t want broken glass to cut your face, would you?”

He gave away a phone worth over a million won without hesitation, looking at Ji Yeonwoo with wide eyes, as if urging him to take it.

“It’s okay to accept it. We’re at the point where we can do things like this, right?”

Despite being lovers, was it really okay to exchange such expensive gifts? Ji Yeonwoo worried about what he could give in return. A lot of things came to mind, but he assumed Choi Muhyeok probably already owned most of them.

“Thank you. I’ll use it well,” Ji Yeonwoo said hesitantly, accepting the phone with both hands.

Choi Muhyeok then wrapped one arm around the headrest of the passenger seat and leaned in, placing his hand on Ji Yeonwoo’s forehead. Warmth radiated from his palm. Choi Muhyeok naturally had a high body temperature, but the heat from Ji Yeonwoo’s skin seemed unusual.

“Should we go to the emergency room right now?”

Ji Yeonwoo glanced sideways at Choi Muhyeok. “If I rest for a day, I’ll be fine. Oh, right. I have a client appointment tomorrow. I’ll just see them and then come home to rest.”

“What kind of appointment?”

“They’re coming to buy a bouquet of ranunculus.”

“You can reschedule, can’t you?” Choi Muhyeok suggested.

“I can’t. We’re the only shop around here with light pink ranunculus.”

As their conversation continued, Choi Muhyeok sighed softly.

“Are you still upset because I didn’t contact you, or are you just tired?”

“….”

“I’m starting to feel abandoned since you won’t even look at me.”

At this, Ji Yeonwoo finally turned his head to look at Choi Muhyeok.

“I’m not upset. I was worried.”

His eyes were filled with reproach.

“You’re not someone who doesn’t contact me all day. I was afraid something had happened to you.”

Choi Muhyeok, who was about to say something, paused and let out a weak sigh, closing his mouth. Ji Yeonwoo slowly sat up and turned to face him.

“You were dealing with something at your family’s house, right?”

Was it just his imagination, or did Choi Muhyeok’s usually expressionless face seem a bit tired today? Ji Yeonwoo had rarely seen him like this, and it tugged at his heart.

“I’m not demanding that you tell me everything that happens in your life,” Ji Yeonwoo said gently, carefully taking Choi Muhyeok’s hand from the gear stick and placing it on his own lap. He clasped it between both of his hands, his fingers intertwining with Choi Muhyeok’s.

“No matter how much we’re in a relationship, I know I’m the weaker one here.”

“What do you mean by that?” Choi Muhyeok asked, raising his voice in disbelief. He let Ji Yeonwoo hold his hand, his eyes narrowing as he listened.

Ji Yeonwoo quietly continued, “It’s sad for me to have to say this, but it’s the truth. You can know everything about me, but…”

He hesitated, then pressed on, as if pushing down his feelings.

“But I have no way of knowing anything about you unless you tell me. I don’t know what you like, what you dislike, or what kind of day you’ve had.”

“Yeonwoo, that’s not…”

“I don’t want us to be in this kind of foggy, unclear relationship,” Ji Yeonwoo said steadily, lifting his head slowly. The lights of the occasional windows in the high-rise building reflected faintly in his glistening eyes. Choi Muhyeok frowned as he caught the shimmer.

“I’m not asking to be equal to you,” Ji Yeonwoo said. “I just want to know, at the very least, what’s going on in your life.”

His voice wavered slightly as he sniffed.

“But I’m really happy that you came today. It felt comforting, exciting, like I have the most reliable person in the world by my side.”

“…”

“Honestly, I didn’t think you would come. Whatever the reason was—jealousy or anything else. That’s why I was both happy and a bit upset.”

“…”

“Wow, I must really be drunk. I’ve been talking about myself the whole time. I’ll go inside now,” Ji Yeonwoo said quietly.

“…”

“Please get home safely, Managing Director,” he added with a small farewell as he slowly released Choi Muhyeok’s hand. Placing the coat on the seat, he opened the door and stepped out of the car.

Choi Muhyeok watched silently, then, as if making a sudden decision, he opened the driver’s door and rushed after him.

Ji Yeonwoo walked slowly toward the entrance of his building when Choi Muhyeok quickly caught up, grabbed his arm, and turned him around.

“…!”

Ji Yeonwoo, pulled by the force, found himself in Choi Muhyeok’s firm embrace, with his arms wrapped tightly around his back and waist.

Trapped in Choi Muhyeok’s embrace, Ji Yeonwoo widened his eyes in surprise, resting his chin on Choi Muhyeok’s shoulder. As he felt Choi Muhyeok’s hand soothing his back, Ji Yeonwoo slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around Choi Muhyeok’s waist. Choi Muhyeok, resting his forehead on Ji Yeonwoo’s shoulder, repeatedly kissed the nape of Ji Yeonwoo’s neck and gently stroked his head and back with the hand that held him.

After holding Ji Yeonwoo for a while, Choi Muhyeok finally let go, holding Ji Yeonwoo’s shoulders to separate them.

“Are you not going to even say if you’re angry, or that I should stay the night?”

Ji Yeonwoo felt a flush of embarrassment, as if his timid complaint had been exposed.

“I have an appointment tomorrow, so I need to go to work.”

“That sounds like you’re saying you can’t go to work if you’re with me.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t let me sleep.”

Choi Muhyeok met Ji Yeonwoo’s gaze, following his eyes that were gradually lowering.

“Then is it okay if I just watch you sleep?”

Ji Yeonwoo hesitated before lifting his head to look at Choi Muhyeok. His brown eyes looked at Ji Yeonwoo with a steady focus.

Ji Yeonwoo, captivated by Choi Muhyeok’s gaze, closed his eyes as their faces drew closer.

Their lips barely touched in a soft, cold kiss before Choi Muhyeok pulled back.

“If you want, I can tell you everything you’re curious about,” Choi Muhyeok whispered into Ji Yeonwoo’s ear.

“Until you fall asleep.”

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Choi Muhyeok, now seemingly familiar with the place, led the way into the house and turned on the lights while removing his jacket.

“Go wash up first,” he instructed.

Ji Yeonwoo, following behind, hesitated as he was about to remove Choi Muhyeok’s cashmere coat from his shoulders. A look of growing confusion appeared on Ji Yeonwoo’s face as he stared at Choi Muhyeok. His eyes reflected a mix of thoughts as he forgot to even blink.

He had said he would only watch him sleep, so why was he now asking him to wash up first? Could it be that he was planning something else?

The emotion was so transparent that Ji Yeonwoo couldn’t pretend otherwise.

“Why? Do you not want to wash up alone?”

“Uh… yes?”

Choi Muhyeok turned fully around, eyes lowered as he looked at Ji Yeonwoo with his hands in his pants pockets.

“Or should we wash up together?”

As he moved closer to Ji Yeonwoo, Ji Yeonwoo’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Ah, no! I’ll wash up and come out,” Ji Yeonwoo said quickly, darting into the bathroom. Like a swift squirrel, Ji Yeonwoo leaned against the closed bathroom door, breathing heavily.

“W-wash together….”

As Ji Yeonwoo’s mind replayed Choi Muhyeok’s words as if buffering, he glanced at the bathtub. He imagined sitting in the bathtub with Choi Muhyeok. Having seen Choi Muhyeok’s bare upper body several times, the image felt quite natural.

Ji Yeonwoo felt his heart racing as he imagined Choi Muhyeok’s well-defined shoulders, chest, and abs, as well as his narrow waist and the visible pelvic line.

“I must be crazy,” Ji Yeonwoo muttered, finally covering his face with his hands, his ears turning red.

Left alone in the living room, Choi Muhyeok heard the sound of water running from the bathroom after a while and chuckled quietly. He found it quite interesting to see just how cute Ji Yeonwoo could be. Perhaps that’s why his playfulness was increasing.

Choi Muhyeok turned around and observed the modest interior of the house compared to his own. Although he had visited Ji Yeonwoo’s place many times, he had never had a chance to examine it closely. He thought it would be fine to look around the living room, even though it might be inappropriate to inspect the rooms without permission. In one corner of the living room was a glass bookcase.

Drawn to it, Choi Muhyeok approached and looked through the books visible behind the glass doors. There were books on flower-related qualifications, books about flower meanings, poetry, essays, novels, and more. Among them were several bestsellers, showing signs of being read multiple times.

He had always wondered what Ji Yeonwoo did in his spare time, and imagining him reading on that sofa seemed quite attractive.

As Choi Muhyeok turned around, he momentarily glanced at something and then turned back.

“A diary?”

He had noticed an old diary. Opening the glass door, he took the diary and looked toward the bathroom door, where water continued to flow.

He knew Ji Yeonwoo wouldn’t like him reading it without permission, but he was curious about its contents. Given its age, it seemed like a diary that had been kept for quite a while, and there was a chance it contained insights into Ji Yeonwoo that Choi Muhyeok didn’t know.

Choi Muhyeok slowly opened the diary. The first page he randomly flipped to began with the date and the weather for that day.

[ April 7, 2020, Clear ]

He hasn’t come in two days.

Maybe that’s a relief.

Being alone is lonely, but being with him adds the pain of loneliness.

Choi Muhyeok’s expression grew more serious as he read. He didn’t need an explanation to know who “he” referred to in the diary.

[ June 22, 2020, Rain ]

This year seems to be experiencing a severe monsoon.

It’s been raining for three days already.

My body won’t cooperate.

I feel lonely, in pain… I want to sleep….

Is there no kind of medication that makes you forget everything once you wake up from a dream?

Most of the diary was filled with expressions of pain and loneliness. Each thin, fluttering page turned revealed words that were both depressing and painful.

Then, from the end of the monsoon until the fall of that year, there was a sudden halt in the diary entries. Of course, it wasn’t a daily diary. However, considering that he had written at least once a week, it was quite strange that no entries were made for several months.

It wasn’t as though there was a lack of space. Despite there being plenty of blank pages left, the dates that weren’t recorded ended with an entry a few pages later.

[ November 16, 2020, Rain ]

It’s raining again today.

At this point, I must have a bad relationship with rainy days.

Today, he let me go.

I… am finally free from this damn pheromone.

Yes, it all started with that pretentious Omega title and pheromones.

So I won’t look for the cause of losing my pheromone, and I’ll just live like a wounded Omega.

I won’t open this diary again after this record, but the reason I left this behind is….

Don’t forgive my past self.

Remember clearly what you lost because of your foolishness and how your life fell into a pit worse than hell.

So that you never make the same mistake again.

It’s all your fault for being deceived by momentary excitement.

With a frown, Choi Muhyeok brushed away the smudges with his fingers. The smudges, spread out in a round shape like tear stains, felt rough to the touch as his fingers passed over them.

“Managing Director, what are you doing?”

At that moment, Ji Yeonwoo’s voice came from behind. Startled, Choi Muhyeok closed the diary and turned around. Ji Yeonwoo, who had just finished showering, stood behind Choi Muhyeok in a loose shirt and pants he wore at home.

“Oh, sorry for looking without permission. I found this while looking at the bookshelf.”

Choi Muhyeok turned his body towards Ji Yeonwoo and showed him the diary he was holding. Ji Yeonwoo looked shocked at first, but his expression changed quickly.

“Why did you choose this among so many books? It’s not even pleasant.”

With a resentful look, Ji Yeonwoo took the diary from Choi Muhyeok’s hands and returned it to its place on the shelf.

“Do you remember everything written in this?”

Standing with his back to Choi Muhyeok, Ji Yeonwoo closed the glass doors of the bookshelf. Ji Yeonwoo’s hand lingered on the spot where the diary was placed before he turned around.

“I remember half, and the other half I don’t. I hardly wrote anything while I was sane.”

Ji Yeonwoo smiled as he looked at Choi Muhyeok. Water droplets still fell from Ji Yeonwoo’s wet hair, dripping onto his shoulders.

Observing this, Choi Muhyeok took Ji Yeonwoo’s hand and led him towards the bed. Ji Yeonwoo followed Choi Muhyeok’s lead. The sound of their footsteps on the floor echoed through the quiet house.

Choi Muhyeok sat Ji Yeonwoo on the bed, spread his legs apart, and settled between them. He picked up the towel from Ji Yeonwoo’s hand and gently placed it over his wet hair.

“You must have had a hard time when you lost your pheromone.”

As he dried Ji Yeonwoo’s hair with the towel, Choi Muhyeok asked.

“It was tough. My body felt really bad.”

“In what way did it feel bad?”

“That’s….”

Ji Yeonwoo hesitated and shut his mouth. His lips, tinged with red and half-covered by the towel, pressed together as he tilted his head back.

“But you said you’d tell me about yourself today, Managing Director.”

The hand drying Ji Yeonwoo’s hair paused.

“If you try to avoid it, I won’t let it go this time.”

Choi Muhyeok silently laughed. His determination to learn more about Choi Muhyeok’s story than his own was clear.

“What are you so curious about?”

Choi Muhyeok asked, pulling away the towel from Ji Yeonwoo’s hair. Ji Yeonwoo’s eyes sparkled with a new vitality that had not been seen before.

“Hm, what you like, what you dislike, and your past. Everything about you.”

Is that all you’re curious about? How can you do business with such innocence? Choi Muhyeok lightly pinched Ji Yeonwoo’s eagerly awaiting cheek.

“Don’t you need to sleep? You said you have work tomorrow.”

“But you said to ask what I’m curious about.”

Ji Yeonwoo rubbed his sore cheek and grumbled.

“Choose just one. I’ll tell you the rest later.”

“…Really?”

“Yes.”

“Hm, then…”

Ji Yeonwoo, stretching out his words as he thought, looked at Choi Muhyeok.

“Tell me something other than that earlier.”

Choi Muhyeok’s eyes widened in surprise as he looked at Ji Yeonwoo.

“I want to know what happened at your family home.”

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“Are you really so curious?”

At Ji Yeonwoo’s tentative question, he nodded. It seemed that, more than the facts he had mentioned earlier, what he was really curious about was the time he had been out of contact with Choi Muhyeok.

“Well, it’s not hard to tell you. But it might hurt your feelings, are you okay with that?”

To Ji Yeonwoo’s surprise, Choi Muhyeok agreed readily. Ji Yeonwoo, who had thought it would be difficult to talk about, was rather taken aback and asked back.

“Does it include things that might hurt my feelings?”

“In a way, yes.”

“…….”

“Still want to hear it?”

After a moment of hesitation, Ji Yeonwoo nodded.

“Yes, I want to hear it.”

Choi Muhyeok, who had climbed onto the bed, leaned against the headboard and sat down at an angle. Ji Yeonwoo moved a pillow close to Choi Muhyeok and lay down next to him.

Choi Muhyeok, with his long legs slightly crossed, continued speaking while touching Ji Yeonwoo’s damp hair that lay beside his thigh.

“When I go back to my family home, I always end up arguing with Chairman.”

“Is your relationship with him very bad?”

“Yes. It was never good, but a few years ago, Chairman insisted on something and wouldn’t back down.”

Ji Yeonwoo’s hair fluttered, releasing a faint shampoo scent. It felt as if this scent was like Ji Yeonwoo’s pheromone, bringing back memories of his meeting with his father, Chairman Choi.

‘Is there someone you’ve been seeing lately?’

The grains of rice going down his throat felt like sand. He hadn’t wanted to eat, but Chairman Choi, who had called him in and kept dragging him around for a while, eventually insisted he stay for dinner.