Invitation to the New Seoul (9)

    He tossed me a gauze towel and spoke curtly.

    “Take off your clothes and wipe yourself with that.”

    I froze, unable to bring myself to pick up the towel he had dropped.

    …Why should I wipe my face with a towel you’ve used? Is this another one of your ways to torment me?

    “If you tell me where the bathroom is, I’ll wash up properly.”

    “Wash up?”

    “My clothes are covered in blood. I need to wash them.”

    He gave me a pitying look and, as if it was too much trouble to explain twice, said.

    “There’s no running water here. You can’t afford the luxury of washing. Throw away those bloodstained clothes. There’s no water to wash them with. I’ll give you some clothes that won’t show the dirt easily, so wear those from now on. As for the sneakers, it’ll be hard to find a pair that fits, so just keep wearing those.”

    I was too shocked by the news that there was no running water to respond.

    “Electricity is limited too, so don’t turn on any switches here except for the refrigerator.”

    I noticed the melted candle wax on the table.

    Now I understand. People are huddled together in fortified areas, while the outside is a lawless land ruled by wolves and wild dogs. Even with their own generators, they can barely keep one refrigerator running. The empty engine compartments of the abandoned cars on the road must have been scavenged for batteries or energy sources to power the generators.

    Having roughly grasped the situation, I used the towel he had thrown at me without a word. I wiped away the bloodstains on my face and neck with the damp towel. When I wiped the wound on my palm from the asphalt, the light brown towel turned a deep crimson almost instantly. The man took the towel from me and said:

    “Take off your clothes.”

    I hesitated, frozen, so the man added in an irritated voice:

    “I’m going to throw them away. Don’t make me explain everything, it’s annoying.”

    I felt wronged and resentful. I thought he didn’t like it when I talked a lot, so I had been keeping quiet. I had been dying to ask him what this world was, why I was the Prophet, but I had held back my burning curiosity. Yet, he treated me like the most annoying creature in the world. I wanted to scream and ask why he was treating me this way, but the image of him slaughtering the wild dogs and wolves kept me from opening my mouth. I was utterly powerless here.

    Obediently, I took off my bloodstained tank top. I wasn’t wearing anything under it, so my bare chest was exposed as soon as I removed it. He glanced at my body, checking for any injuries, and then immediately lost interest.

    I rolled up the towel and the tank top together and tossed them into a box in the corner. Then, he handed me a luxury brand shirt. It’s a denim shirt, still in its plastic packaging with the tags on.

    In the world I used to know, I would have been ecstatic to wear a shirt that cost millions of won. But now, I wonder if there’s anything more useless than a designer label. I would rather have clean water than this fancy shirt.

    “Use the sofa over there. Go to bed early, we have somewhere to go tomorrow morning.”

    After saying that, the man left the mechanical room without looking back. I heard the sound of him closing the door to the roof as he disappeared outside. I followed him out of the mechanical room and tried the handle of the rooftop door.

    Click, click.

    The door wouldn’t open because it was locked from the inside.

    Is he really going to abandon me so easily after keeping me by his side? I felt a wave of emptiness as the dry wind from the vast roof hit me.

    If I had gone down the broken stairs at Seoul Station and walked through the dark tunnel, none of this would have happened. If I had followed the tracks there, where I couldn’t see anything, and gone home, I would have felt better. I wouldn’t have had to see the dogs or wolves chasing me, or the man who locked me on this roof.

    I carefully grabbed the railing of the roof and looked down. The six-story building was taller than I expected. The wind blowing between the buildings cut sharply against my cheeks.

    ‘You need to wake up from this dream. It’s been such a long and exhausting dream, hasn’t it?’

    I thought I could hear the voice I had heard at Seoul Station again. The sweet temptation called to me, worn out as I was.

    Would everything really end if I died?

    If I woke up from this dream, could I play with my friends at the beach in Busan?

    I leaned over the railing and looked down, then suddenly came to my senses.

    No, this isn’t a dream. These feelings can’t be a dream. Come to your senses, Woo Hyunho.

    I rushed back into the mechanical room.

    I lay down on the couch. Lying on the soft leather, I stared at the ceiling. There was a lightbulb above me that hadn’t been turned on for a long time. The bulb, which should have glowed yellow with its filament flickering, was covered in black dust and blended seamlessly into the darkness.

    This place is safer than my grandmother’s house, and I know there’s drinking water left if I open the refrigerator door, but I don’t feel comfortable. I don’t care if the denim shirt worth millions of won I’m wearing as a substitute for a pajamas, gets wrinkled. What am I supposed to value?

    I know money is useless, and I know water is more precious than anything. The man gave me that precious water and provided me with a comfortable place to sleep. He says I’m worth that much of an investment, but I don’t feel any connection to the ‘Prophet’ he keeps calling me.

    ‘But now that you’re here, there’s only one way to go back. Hyunho, don’t be too scared. You can do this. You can do it, Hyunho.’

    I thought of my grandmother from my dream. She seemed to feel guilty, as if she had wronged me somehow.

    ‘Find the beast that you can command. That beast will help you until the very end. Do you understand? Hyunho, do you understand?’

    It must have been the best advice she could give to ease her guilt. Could the ‘Prophet’ the man mentioned be related to what my grandmother said in my dream?

    If so, it might not have been just a dream. Maybe my grandmother came to me in my dream because she wanted to tell me something. It’s a scientifically impossible deduction, but this whole world is already beyond logic. The only solution seems to be the ‘beast’ my grandmother mentioned. What on earth is that beast?

    I took my phone out of my backpack, still unable to organize my jumbled thoughts. The battery had dropped to 80%.

    The [Out of Service Area] message was still displayed at the top of the screen. I wanted to put on my earphones and listen to music, but the remaining battery caught my attention. When the number 80 quickly dropped to 79, I pressed the power button.

    I held the now pitch-black device in my hand and stared blankly at the ceiling. I couldn’t let go of my phone, even though I couldn’t contact anyone. It felt like my lifeline.

    What is this place? It’s Seoul, but it’s not Seoul, and the dogs didn’t look like dogs. I even had a conversation with a Mongolian girl who crossed over from North Korea, so maybe the 38th parallel means nothing now. It’s strange that people are fortifying themselves and occupying commercial buildings. If Korea is like this, what’s happening in other countries?

    They said Washington D.C. disappeared in the United States. Other countries must be in this same state of anarchy. If that’s the case, similar situations would be happening all over the world. Maybe it’s better to adapt here in Seoul, where I can at least communicate with people of the same nationality. It might even be fortunate that I’m not mixed in with foreigners I can’t communicate with…

    …No, why bother adapting? I’m going to leave anyway. I have to go home, so why should I settle here?

    …Can I even go back?

    Pop.

    My head reached its limit and exploded. I stopped thinking. The chaos was too much to bear. I know I have to adapt to survive, but my heart refuses to, and my mind feels suffocated.

    “Haah.”

    I closed my eyes. I dreamed of the endings in movies and dramas, where I wake up and it was all just a dream. It didn’t take long to realize that the reason people desire that ending is because it’s so rare in reality—it only exists in media.

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