Guest Ch 16

West Fort Owner, Blue Hawk (7)

The intensity of his arousal was overwhelming, especially where we were connected. It felt like it might melt and pour out.

I should feel uncomfortable, but why does it feel so good? I wish he’ would move just a little more. No, I want him to go deeper, harder, to fill me completely. I want him to move into me wildly and come inside me like he always does…

…What is this? Why does this feeling seem so familiar and make me so happy? Why am I having s*x with this man?

I bit my lip and looked at him. Slowly, I opened my mouth and spoke a name I had never said before.

“…Lee Yiseon.”

The moment that name left my lips, I opened my eyes in shock. The overwhelming sensation of being held amidst the red spider lilies surged through my body like a jolt. Like someone electrocuted, I couldn’t move a muscle. This strange heat was unlike anything I had felt, even in my youth during wet dreams. When the electric tension binding my body finally released, I gasped all at once as if startled.

“Haah.”

Thump thump thump.

My heart pounded wildly as I bolted upright. My breath was ragged and chaotic.

“Huff, haa, ha…”

I felt like I was escaping the dream I had just moments ago.

“How did you know my name?”

Startled by the cold voice, I turned my head. The man was standing at the mechanical room door, looking at me. His bangs fluttered in the wind, and the gaze beneath them was different from the one I had met in the flower garden.

This person, cold and devoid of any heat. He looked shocked that I had muttered his name so familiarly.

“How did you know my name?”

Letting go of the doorknob, he approached me with long strides. Startled, I took two steps back, but as my heel slipped into the empty air, I nearly fell. He caught me in a flash, his arm shooting out to pull me back.

He drew me into his arms. I was helplessly enveloped in his embrace, having nearly fallen. I should thank him for saving me, call him my savior. But I was too shaken to even realize I had narrowly avoided a fall.

This is just like the dream. The feel of his arms, his chest, his scent, his breath. How can it all be the same?

“Are you crazy? Trying to get yourself killed?”

I couldn’t tell what was real and what was fantasy. The face, the voice, the height—it was all the same person, but the shift in tone was jarring. One version of him had clung to me breathlessly, overwhelmed with desire, while this one was cold, distant.

The man stared at me, furrowing his brow deeply as I wore a blank expression. He seemed like he wanted to say something but just frowned at my inability to regain my composure.

A strange silence hung between us. I just stared up at him, bewildered by his unreadable expression. It took me a moment to realize that the awkwardness was only intensifying because of my heavy breathing. I had never felt such suffocating discomfort in my life.

“Uh, um? No, that’s…”

Too flustered, I removed his hand from me and pushed him away. He continued to watch me, his gaze unwavering even as he was pushed back.

His eyes made my heart race uncontrollably. The heat from the dream still lingered on my skin, as if it had left an imprint. I pressed my sweaty palms against the flushed skin on the back of my neck.

Damn it. What kind of crazy dream was that?

“I asked who told you my name.”

Finally, I snapped back to reality. His name… his name…

“Lee Yiseon…?”

As soon as I said the name I remembered, he scowled. The expression was so harsh that the image of him in my dream started to fade from my mind.

“How many times do I have to ask where you heard it?”

Who… who did I hear it from? You, in my dream…

…Now that I think about it, that’s not it. Even in my dream, you didn’t tell me your name. So, how did I know it?

I broke into a cold sweat, wondering why I knew this man’s name. I didn’t know how to explain it, and even I couldn’t understand the situation.

“Okay, that’s it.”

The man bit his lower lip when he saw me stuttering in embarrassment. He looked frustrated.

“This place, Garrison, the Stand-ins don’t know my name. I’ve never told anyone. So how do you know it? Explain yourself properly.”

The heat that had been building up in my body wouldn’t subside. It drove me crazy to be so excited over something that hadn’t even happened. The sensation of him pushing between my legs was so vivid, as if we had stopped just before having s*x.

If I’m going to explain how I know his name, I should talk about the dream too. Of course, you didn’t tell me your name directly, but we had this strange relationship in my dreams where we casually had s*x, so I guess I knew your name that way.

But there’s no way I could say that, even with a gun to my head. I would rather jump off the roof. If I tried to explain the dream to him while he’s glaring at me like that, I feel like he would point a gun to my forehead and tell me to stop messing around. Either way, I’m dead.

“How long are you going to stay silent?”

Hold on. Let me think of a reasonable excuse.

“Prophet.”

As I struggled to come up with something, I realized I was missing my chance.

“I heard it in a dream.”

I didn’t actually hear it, but it was the only explanation I could give. I couldn’t think of any other excuse.

“You appeared in my dream and told me.”

I gave a mix of truth and lies. The man was still glaring at me, but at least he didn’t accuse me of lying.

He reached out, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me to a safer spot away from the rooftop edge. As I was dragged helplessly, I let out a painful groan.

Bang!

He only let go of my wrist after we entered the mechanical room and slammed the door shut.

Once we were inside the mechanical room, he let go of my wrist after slamming the door shut. My wrist was red and swollen, and the bones ached. As I rubbed my wrist, which seemed like it would bruise, I looked at him.

“Haah.”

He sighed in frustration and muttered something under his breath.

“So, I guess you really are a Prophet. It’s not like I’m retaliating like this just because I was suspicious.”

I don’t know what his name means, but did I make a mistake?

I hesitated, watching him nervously. He ran his fingers through his hair and then ordered me sharply.

“Don’t use my real name in front of others.”

“Yes.”

Only after hearing my sharp response did he sigh once more and turn away. After the intense atmosphere passed, my head finally started working again. And instead of wondering why he was making such a fuss over his name, a bigger issue crossed my mind.

‘Hurry, okay?’

The captain who held me close, rubbing against me with lustful eyes. His real name was Lee Yiseon. There’s no way that man, who desperately wanted to have s*x with me, is the same person as this cold, unpleasant man in front of me.

I covered my face with one hand. My body was so hot that it left me confused and in pain. A curse slipped from my lips.

“…Fxck.”

This is really fxcking sht. Dxmn it.

I don’t know what my dream meant, but one thing is certain. This man would never act like he did in my dream. He wouldn’t show me affection or press himself against me. There’s no way that cold-hearted bastard would ever cling to me out of desire.

Forget it. Forget it. That bastard and the man in my dream might look alike, but they are completely different people.

I opened my mouth, addressing the back of his head.

“Lee Yiseon-ssi.”

At my call, the man tensed up. He turned around with a glare, his eyes wide. If he had a knife, he would’ve thrown it right at my forehead.

What a strong reaction for just hearing his name. I swallowed nervously and decided to speak up, even if my courage wasn’t fully there.

“If you react like this to just hearing your name, I’m the one feeling embarrassed here. Could you at least tell me what I did wrong?”

Though I tried to speak bravely, I couldn’t meet his gaze. Instead, I deliberately looked past his shoulder.

“At least give me some guidelines, so I don’t make you mad again. Yes? Lee Yiseon-ssi.”

As I emphasized his name once more, he gritted his teeth.

Let’s hear why he’s so upset about being called by his name. After all, that’s the least I deserve for the bruise he left on my wrist.

“Lee Yiseon-ssi…”

I called his name as if in pain, and finally, the man gave in.

“Fine. Just stop saying my name.”

At his response, I smiled brightly, feeling victorious.

“Thank you, Yiseon-ssi.”

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“I apologize. Then what should I call you instead of Yiseon-ssi?”

“…”

“Cheer up, Yiseon-ssi.”

I deliberately called him by his name again out of spite. It was unfair, having to put up with his one-sided anger, so this was my way of getting back at him.

“Yiseon-ssi?”

I tilted my head innocently as I said it, and he winced, clearly irritated by hearing his name repeatedly. He must have realized he needed to explain himself if he wanted this to stop.

“In this world, people don’t call each other by their names. I haven’t been called by that name in years. It feels unfamiliar and unnecessary, so from now on, don’t ask about my name or anyone else’s.”

“Why?”

“Names.”

He chose his words carefully, like picking stones from a field.

“There’s no need to remember them. Most of the time, you won’t even get the chance to call them.”

I remembered Toya’s words about how many people stop smiling because they’ve grown used to losing things. If you remembered everyone who disappeared without warning, you would be crushed by the sadness. This cold-hearted man was explaining the same thing.

“I don’t want people to remember me by my name. That’s meaningless. It’s better to exist as the captain. Being the person who protects this fortress is far more useful.”

He seemed to believe it was better to be treated as just another person since he would disappear eventually.

I don’t want to lose my name, Hyunho. But this man chose to be known as the protector of the fortress rather than live as Lee Yiseon. He chose his identity the ‘Captain’ over his own.

“Then should I stop calling you by your name? If you want me to call you captain, I will.”

The man, who had been about to answer as if it were obvious, paused. His thoughts didn’t seem particularly deep, but he took a moment to observe me. His decision was unlike anything I had seen before.

“As long as it’s not in front of others, it’s okay to call me by my name.”

I had expected him to just get mad, but he didn’t.

As I looked at him in genuine surprise, Lee Yiseon turned away.

“There must be a reason why I learned something I wasn’t even told.”

Lee Yiseon nodded at me.

“Come with me. We have somewhere we have to go.”

With his cold demeanor, I was gradually able to forget the Lee Yiseon in my dreams, treating it like a dream that made absolutely no sense. I completely pushed that strange dream to the back of my mind.

As long as there was no trigger, it would not resurface.

I didn’t know at the time that that simple resolution would soon be broken. Lee Yiseon was an utterly unpredictable person.

*